A/N:
Sorry it took so long to update, school got in the way. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
Shane's POV
I ran at nearly full speed to the end of the hall, then down the stairs and through the living room. I was scared as hell, hoping to God that the scream that I'd heard didn't mean what I thought it meant, and that I hadn't just lied to Claire. Her father had to be okay. He just had to be. No one knows better than I do what it feels like to lose some someone you care about. I had lost my entire family and I never wanted Claire to have to feel that kind of pain.
I burst through the kitchen door, and saw Claire there on the floor, leaning over, holding her father, while sobbing and begging him not leave her, and, my heart sank.
The table cloth had been pulled from the table and what was supposed to have been tonight's dinner was all over the floor, surrounding them. He must have had a heart attack and grabbed on to the table cloth as he fell, trying to save himself.
"Daddy, please don't leave me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have been here," she said through sobs.
I wanted to bring him back and make everything okay again. I wished there was something… anything, I could do to make the pain she was feeling at that moment go away. But I knew there wasn't.
"Claire," I called softly out to her, as I started walking over to where she sat holding her father.
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Call the paramedics," she begged.
I looked at her father and saw that his eyes were open, staring at and seeing nothing and knew that it was too late to save him.
"Claire I don't think-"I started, but she interrupted me.
"Just call them, please!" she pleaded.
"Okay," I replied
She was obliviously in denial.
I knew there was nothing that could be done, but I took out my cell phone and called them anyway. It was the right thing to do. They had to be called so that they could come and take his body away, and I hoped that maybe when he was truly gone, she would accept it, and she could start to heal.
I dialed 911 and when the emergency dispatcher answered, I told him what had happened and gave him Claire's parents address. As soon as they said there was an ambulance on the way, I pressed end call, put my cell away and got down on my knees beside Claire.
I put my arm around her and rubbed her shoulder gently, trying to give her some comfort, and also letting her know that I was there for her.
"It's okay Daddy, it won't be long now. The ambulance is on its way," she whispered in his ear, loud enough so that I could hear and kissed his cheek. "Daddy, hold on just a little while longer okay. Don't leave me."
It was breaking my heart to see her like this, in such denial. I felt like I had to get through to her somehow, to get her to realize that her father was gone, because this just wasn't healthy. She would have to come to terms with her father's death.
"Claire, honey, I'm sorry but he's gone," I said as gently as I could.
"No, he's not. Don't say that. He can't be Shane, he just can't be!" she screamed at me, through her grief.
"Claire, look at me."
"No," was her response.
"Claire," I said with more determination in my voice.
"No, because if I look at you, I'll know it's true, and I just can't do that right now."
"Well then, look at him. Really look at him." I said, then noticed her raise her head and look into her father's lifeless face. "Look at his eyes. He's not in there anymore Claire. I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am, but he's gone."
She lowered head and her shoulders began to shake from the power of the sobs that were wracking her body as the realization hit her. When it became too much for her, she turned and buried her face in the junction between my neck and shoulder.
"No, no, no. He can't be dead. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair!" she cried
I put my hand on her hair, stroked it lightly, and said in a soothing voice, "I know baby, I know. It isn't fair. It's never fair. He was a good man and he didn't deserve this. But he's in a better place. It's going to be okay."
After a few minutes I heard her sniffle as she began calming down. She looked up at me and I wiped her tears with my thumb.
"I love you," she said as she kissed me.
"I love you too… so much."
"Thank you."
"That's what I'm here for, baby."
She then turned to her father, whom she was still holding in her arms.
"Daddy, I love you… Goodbye." she spoke the words as she swept her hand over his eyes to close them.
"I'm proud of you, Claire," I remarked.
"Can we just stay here? Like this. Until the Paramedics get here. I'm not ready to let him go just yet."
"Yeah… sure. Whatever you want." I replied and kissed her hair. "…Whatever you want."
And we sat there, with her father, just like that, until they arrived.
*****************
Claire's POV
When the paramedics arrived, Shane went to let them in, allowing me to have one last private moment with my father before they took him away. I leaned over him again, the same way I did, and began the conversation I wish I'd had with him before he died.
"Daddy, I know that you're not here, in this body anymore, but I hope the wherever are you can hear me. Holding you here like this makes me feel like you're close by. I love you so much and I meant what I said last night. You were the best father a girl could ever have. You meant so much to me and you don't know how good it made me feel to hear you say that you were proud of me."
I could feel the sobs began to work their way back up, so I looked up at the ceiling to get myself together again before I continued.
"There are so many things that I should have said, that I wanted to say, and I always thought I'd have the chance, but I guess I was wrong. I'm just going to say them right now, okay? You know all those times that I said I hated you and never wanted to see you again. I didn't mean it…ever... not once. The truth is that I love you so much and I would do anything to be able to talk to you, one more time. I was just being a bratty teenage girl, who wasn't getting her way and decided to pout about it… And do you remember the time, I think I was like eight and I made you breakfast in bed for father's day. I think it was like gummy bear pancakes, with chocolate syrup and a strawberry, peanut butter milkshake… God, it must have been awful, but you hugged me and told me that it was the best breakfast you'd ever had. That meant so much to me Daddy. You made my whole month… I bragged about how 'I made my Daddy, breakfast and he loved it. He said it was the best breakfast he ever had', I was so full of myself. I thought I was 'the shit'."
I chuckled at the memory.
I heard the door creak open and turned to see Shane peaking in. I smiled at him and held up my index finger letting him know that I needed another minute.
He smiled back, nodded and closed the door.
After I was alone again, I continued on with the one sided conversation I was having with my father.
"Well I guess I better wrap this up. They'll be in here any minute, to take you away from me…Forever. I just want you to know that, I'm going to try to be strong. And I'll take care of mom. Even though I don't live here anymore, she'll know that she's not alone. You don't have to worry about her."
"You ready baby?" Shane asked, poking his head back into the door, "Because if you're not, and you need more time, I can keep their asses out here all day."
"Its fine, Shane… let them in. I'm finished."
I turned back to my father and kissed him on the forehead.
"Goodbye, Daddy…I love you."
I lifted his head out of my lap, gently laid him back on the floor, stood up and walked over to Shane, who was now standing just inside the kitchen door, waiting for me to finish. He wrapped me in a hug, before letting the Paramedics in.
When I saw them carry in the stretcher with a black body bag on it, I panicked, I couldn't breathe and I had to get out of there. So without a word I pushed Shane away and bolted out of the kitchen door.
"Claire, wait! Where are you going?"Shane called after me as I ran out.
He hurried after me and finally caught up to as I escaped out onto the front porch. He grabbed me by the arm and I spun around to face him.
"You okay?" Shane asked, catching his breath. "You scared the hell out of me when you ran out like that."
"I'm sorry. I just… I couldn't breathe, you know. I had to get out of there. There was just no way I could watch them put him in that body bag."
"Come here," Shane said, pulling me into his arms. "It's okay."
"I can't go back in there."
"It's okay. You don't have too. We can stay out here if you want."
"That's what I want. But what I want more than anything is to have my dad back."
"If there was a way that I could, bring him back to you, you know that I would," Shane said, sincerely.
"Yeah I know. Thank you for saying that."
"It's true, I'd do anything for you… let's sit down, okay?"
"Okay."
Shane let go of me for just a second and we sat down on the steps, then I was right back in his arms where I belonged.
*****************
We were still sitting on the porch a half-hour later, and they hadn't brought my father's body out yet. I was hoping they would be finished, and gone, by the time my mother got home. I knew that it would kill her to see her husband rolled away on a stretcher, in a body bag, and I just couldn't lose two parents in one night.
I was thinking about how I would break the news to her, when the front door opened and out walked the Paramedics with my father's body in tow. I was about to ask Shane to take me inside, when they stopped on the porch and one of them asked if they could have a word with me. Apparently they had gotten Shane's story of the night's event, but they needed my version as well. I quickly relayed everything to them and when they were satisfied, they began to roll him away.
"God, Shane…how am I going to tell my mother?" I asked, turning to face him.
"I'm pretty sure you won't have to tell her anything?"
"What? What do you mean? I asked, perplexed.
"She just drove up," he said, looking out towards the street.
"What?" I asked and turned around just in time to see my mom jump out of her car, scream, and run in the direction of the paramedics, who were loading my father's body into the ambulance.
Shane had already started across the lawn to try and catch my mother, without having to be asked, but he was too late, because by the time he got there, she had already thrown herself onto my father's bagged body.
Shane gave her a second, then leaned in to whisper something to her. I'm sure it was meant to be calming, because after a few seconds she released my father's dead body and went into Shane's arms. He held her up as she sagged into his body, barely able to stand.
When my mother was finally able to get herself together enough to walk, Shane helped her up the path, to the porch where I was standing. I stepped down and helped Shane help my mom up the steps. It's not like he needed the help, I just needed to be close to my mother.
When we got into the house, Shane stopped and looked at me."I'll take your mom to her room. You just sit down on the couch and rest," he instructed.
"Actually, I think I'll clean up the kitchen," I informed him.
"I can do it when I come back down."
"That's okay. I need to do something to keep myself busy."
"Alright," Shane said, letting it drop and turning to take my mom upstairs.
My mom never said anything to me, but I understood the grief she was feeling and didn't let it bother me. I stood there and watched until they were out of sight, then turned around and headed for the kitchen.
*****************
Shane's POV
I took Claire's mother up to her room and helped her over to her bed. She sat down and looked up at me. She looked fragile and exhausted and I hated to leave her, but I needed to get down stairs and help Claire clean up the kitchen. I would stay though if she asked, because she was Claire's mother and Claire would want me to, and also because it was the right thing to do, and yeah…I really do care, despite the fact that her and her husband, had threatened to throw me in jail on numerous occasions. I understand that they were just being protective of their only daughter. I probably would have done the same.
"Mrs. Danvers, are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, Shane. I'm okay." Mrs. Danvers assured me. "You can go down stairs and be with my daughter. I'm sure she needs you more than I do and I'm sure she could use the help with cleaning up the kitchen."
"Okay, I'm sorry for your loss Mrs. Danvers." I said, sincerely, then turned to leave.
When I was about to walk out the door Mrs. Danvers called out to me.
"Shane?"
I turned back around to see what she needed.
"Yes Mrs. Danvers?"
"Thank you," She said, meaningfully. " You're a good man."
"You're welcome," was my reply as I smiled at her warmly.
I didn't expect that from her at all, but it felt good and I knew that that moment was a turning point for us.
I walked out of the room then, leaving Claire's mother alone to rest and headed down stairs to the kitchen.
When I got to the kitchen, I paused, for a moment to catch my breath, before opening the door. I felt like I needed a minute before I went in, because although it was quiet and everything seemed fine from this side of the door, I knew that Claire was a wreck and that with her having to go back into the room where she had found her father and clean up the mess that he had been lying in, not even an hour earlier, she was going to be that much worse. I just needed a second before I could walk in there and see her that way again, because it killed me every time I looked into her hollow eyes and saw the pain reflecting back at me. I knew that that empty pained stare would haunt me for the rest of my life.
I took a deep breath, pushed open the kitchen door, and walked in. I stepped around the pile of broken dishes and spilt food that was still on the floor, and walked over to where Claire stood, vigorously trying to scrub, what looked like a marinara stain out of her Mother's table cloth, at the sink.
"Drop your weapon, step away from the table cloth." I joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
She looked up at me and stopped scrubbing. The closer I got, I could see that there were tears streaming down her face.
"I can't get this stupid stain out." She said and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, then looked down and began to scrub at the stain again. "It's my mom's favorite table cloth; I have to get this out."
She looked so pitiful standing there scrubbing at the stain that and I knew she had no hope of getting out. I reached over grabbed her arms too stop her from scrubbing, took the table cloth away from her, thenpulled her in to my arms, with little resistance.
"Hey, it's okay," I assured her. "Your Mom is not going to care about some stupid table cloth."
"You don't understand. My grandmother gave it to her, and now it's ruined, and it's my fault - just like everything else."
I knew that there was something else bothering her, besides the stain in her mother's table cloth, and I was right she; was blaming herself and that wasn't good.
"Claire, don't ever let me hear you blaming yourself again. Nothing that happened tonight was your fault. I don't even know how you could think that."
"If I had gotten here on time, if I hadn't taken so much fucking time getting ready, he wouldn't have been here alone. I could have helped him. He would still be alive and none of this shit would have happened."
"You don't know that, Claire. He still could have died. And using your logic, it could have been just as much my fault, Eve's fault, and your mom's fault for that matter," I reasoned.
"And how do you figure that?"
"Well, maybe we would have been here if Eve hadn't stopped you in the hall, to give you a cake that she'd baked for tonight's dessert. That slowed us down about five minutes. Or maybe your mother would have been here if she had remembered the garlic bread and wouldn't have made the trip back out to get it, because she wanted tonight's dinner to be perfect for her little girl, or maybe I would have come upstairs sooner and we could have left if I had said no to Michael when he asked me to listen to the new song he had written, instead of trying to be a good friend. So by that logic, it also could have been Michael's fault too, for asking me to listen to the song when he knew we had to go."
"That's stupid Shane," she said, then stepped back out of my arms and folded hers across her chest.
"Yeah, it is, and so is blaming yourself for something you had no control over."
She looked down for a second as if thinking and then looked back up into my eyes.
"You're one to talk. You've been known to blame yourself on countless occasions."
"But I'm the stupid one, remember?" I said, as I pulled her back into my arms.
"You shouldn't say that about yourself you know. You are the smartest, sweetest guy I know."
"I'm also the hottest guy you know, right."
"I don't know...Myrnin is pretty hot," Claire teased.
"Claire," I said and tickled her sides.
"Okay…Okay… Stop…Yes, Shane you are the hottest guy I know," Claire said giggling.
It was the best sound I'd heard all night.
"That's better." I said as I stopped tickling her and just held her close to me for a second.
"I guess I better finish cleaning up, so that we can get out here and go home." Claire said, thenlifted her head from my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
"No, I'll do it. You just go in the living room and relax,okay?" I said and moved a stray piece of hair out of her face.
"I can help."Claire insisted.
"No, seriously… go relax, you've had a rough day, I'll take care of everything and when I'm done I'll come and get you and we can go home."
"Okay except I think that I'm going to go up to my room, well my old room, and look around. You can come up there when you're through."
"Okay," I said and leaned down to kiss her. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She kissed me back, then turned around and walked out of the kitchen. I watched as she left, then began picking up the dishes and food off the floor.
It took about forty-five minutes, but I managed to get the kitchen looking normal again. It was as if nothing bad had ever happened there. The last thing I did was take out the trash and then I went up to check on Claire. I found her in her old bedroom sitting on her bed, resting her head on the tattered, brown, teddy bear that she was holding in her arms.
I stood in the door way and called out to her. "You okay, Babe?" I asked concerned.
She looked up at me then, smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking."
"What about?" I asked inquisitively.
"When my father gave me this," she said, then paused. "It was my sixth birthday and I was so sad, because I was sick and my Mom told me that I had to stay in bed, and that I couldn't have any friends over. Not that I had a lot of friends, but still. I cried all day. Anyway, later that evening, my Dad came in and gave me this bear. He told me that I didn't have to be sad anymore, because he brought me Theodore, and that Theodore would be my friend for the day, if I wanted him. I hugged my dad and told him that of course I wanted him and that I would love him forever and always. My dad said that that was good because that's how long Theodore wanted to stay. So, for the rest of the night, Theodore lay in bed with me and we watched cartoons. I was so happy to have a new friend that I didn't cry again for the rest of the night. I've had him and kept him on my bed ever since."
"That's a sweet story, Claire." I said, and pictured Claire, as a little girl, hugging that bear to her chest, and smiled.
"My dad was always doing things liked that, when I was little."
"Because he loved you," I assured her.
"Yeah," she said in agreement.
"So…are you ready to go home?"
"Yeah, just let me go say bye to my Mom," she said as she got up, still holding on to her bear and walked over to where I was standing.
"The light was off when I walked by. I think she's sleeping."
She nodded. "I won't wake her then. Let's go home," she said. "Wait, will you come by with me tomorrow to check on her?"
I gave her a reassuring smile. "Sure, baby. Let's go."
She walked out into the hall, clutching the bear that her father had given her, in her arms, and I turned off the light, then walked out behind her.
I followed her down to the first floor, where she paused for only a moment to pick up her purse and wrap from the couch.
"Do you think that she'll be okay?" she asked, referring to her mother.
"Your mother is strong, Claire. I'm sure she'll be fine." I assured her. "Let's go home, okay baby?"
"Okay."
We walked down the front hall to the door and I opened it, then put my hand on the small of Claire's back and guided her through. She took out her key, then turned and locked up. After which, we ran hand in hand, down the walk and across the street to the car. I walked her around to the passenger side, opened the door for her, then went back around to my side and got in. Then the three of us, Claire, her bear Theodore and I rode off into the darkness.
******************
We got home a little after ten o'clock and Claire and I were both physically and emotionally exhausted. Neither one of us was really in the mood to fill Eve and Michael in about the night's events. We had hoped that they'd already be in bed, and that we could go straight to bed ourselves, leaving any conversation for the morning.
No such luck.
When we walked into the house we were greeted by loud music and Eve dancing around in the living room, playing some game on the Wii.
"What that hell are you doing?" I asked, curiously.
"I'm playing Just Dance. It's fucking awesome!" Eve said, not taking her eyes off the television screen.
"Looks awesome," I said unenthusiastically as Claire and I stood there and watched Eve dance along with the character on screen to what sounded like Britney Spears', Womanizer.
"So is this where you learned all those ultra cool, goth girl dance moves you like to brag about?" I asked, in a sarcastic tone.
"Bite me, asshole!" Eve shot back while flipping me off." And no, I just bought this today after the two of you left. Plus I wasn't bragging. I was just stating the obvious. I fucking rock…Claire, come play this with me, you'll love it."
"Somehow I doubt that. I really don't feel like adding, 'broken bone,' to the list of shitty things that happened to me tonight. I think I am just going to go up and take a shower then go to bed. But you have fun with that," Claire, said with a sarcastic edge to her voice, and started to walk away.
Eve stopped suddenly, I'm guessing because she noticed the edge in Claire's voice, and bounded over to us, stopping in front of Claire.
"Hey, what's going on? You okay? Did things not go well at your parent's house? Let me guess your dad was being an ass again. Being all over protective and telling you how Shane is the boogie man. I mean really… he's not far off. You've seen him in the morning."
I was standing there silently giving Eve a look that told her to shut the hell up, but apparently she hadn't gotten it.
"That's what it was, wasn't it? Parents can be over protective and assy sometimes, but they mean well."
I could tell by Claire's now ridged stance that she was getting angry. Eve didn't know what Claire had been through earlier tonight and was just jokingly trying to lighten Claire's mood and be sympathetic, but she was saying all the wrong things and Claire really wasn't in the mood for jokes, and was probably taking everything Eve said the wrong way.
"Actually Eve, my Dad died tonight. But thanks for letting me know how big of an ass you think he is. Thank you. Thank you, so very much!" she said, then stormed up the stairs.
"Claire, I … wait…I didn't… I'm sorry. Claire!" Eve stammered, and looked like someone had just punched her in the stomach.
Michael walked in at the end of it. He had come out of the kitchen and was drinking from a water bottle, All of us knew what was really in it, but no one ever mentioned it… well no one, except me, when I felt like being an ass.
"What did I just miss?" Michael asked.
"Me sticking my big fat foot in my even bigger mouth," Eve complained, then turned around and walked over to the couch and plopped down.
"What?"Michael asked, trying to understand.
"Claire's father died, and Eve called him an ass."
"What!"Michael exclaimed, looking even more confused than when he first walked in.
"You really could have said something Shane."
"Didn't you see the look I was giving you?"I asked, while recreating the same look I'd given her earlier.
"I saw the look," she said. "I just didn't know what it meant. It would have been nice if you had just said it."
"What the hell did you want me to do, fucking yell, 'Hey, Eve shut the hell up. Her father just died!' Yeah that would have helped," I remarked dryly.
"Like I said, it would have been nice."
"Well, maybe I should have worn a big fucking neon sign. Would that have been clearer for you?" I snapped.
"Would someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" Michael asked, frustrated.
"Ask him!"
"Ask her!"
Both of us shouted the words simultaneously.
"Quit being a dick!"
"Me quit being a dick? How about you quit being a bitch!"
"Oh no, he didn't," Eve said, with an attitude.
"Oh, yes he did," I said, mocking her attitude.
"Michael, kick his ass." Eve demanded.
"Why don't you just try it vamp, boy," I said turning to Michael.
"Oh, I'm not getting in the middle of this." Michael said, putting his hands up in surrender and taking a step back.
"Fine. I'll kick his ass." Eve said, getting up off of the couch.
"Ooooh…I'm scared."
"Bite me!" Eve shouted.
"Blow me!" I snapped back at her, and turned and stomped up upstairs, leaving her standing there, to argue with herself. I hoped maybe she'd see how stupid she was being and kick her own ass.
Okay, so maybe I was being an ass and maybe I could have been a little bit more mature, but she had upset Claire, and I was the one who was going to have to go up stairs and fix things.
Claire was in the shower when I made it up the stairs, so I decided to go into her room and wait for her there. I figured she might not feel like having company in there right now and that she might want some time alone to think. I heard the shower shut off about ten minutes later and I waited for awhile, but got worried when she didn't seem to be coming out of the bathroom.
I went into the hallway and was about to knock on the door when I heard the faint sound of Claire crying.
"Claire, are you okay?" I asked, through the door. "Claire?"
The crying seized, but there was still no answer, so I slowly opened the door and entered. I found Claire in a towel sitting on the top of the down toilet lid, leaned over with her head in her hands.
"Claire, what's the matter?" I asked, concerned.
"I broke it Shane," Claire said, without looking up.
"You broke what?" I asked, looking around, trying to figure out what she could have possibly broken.
Claire held her arm out towards me and opened her hand. In it, was the necklace her father had given her for her last birthday. I took it out of her hand and inspected it, and saw that the only thing that was wrong was a broken clasp. I figured I could fix it easily and have it back to her fairly soon.
"I can fix this." I said confident, that I could.
"You can?" Claire asked and looked up at me with a hopeful look on her face.
"Sure, I can."I assured her. "Come here."
She stood up from her seat and walked over to me, and I wrapped her in my arms.
"You can really fix it?"
"Yes. And when I give it back to you it will be good as new. You won't even be able to tell it was ever broken."
"I love you, Shane."
"I love you too, baby."
"You can be so sweet and wonderful, when you want to be."
"Shhh…don't tell anybody," I whispered to her.
She quirked a small smile. "It will be our little secret," she agreed quietly
"I can live with that. Why don't you go put on your pajama's and I'll go put this in my room so that I can get started on it, when we get back from your parents house," I said referring to her necklace.
"Okay," she acquiesced and kissed me, then turned and headed for her room. I watched her leave, then picked up her clothes, put them in the hamper and went to my room to put her necklace where I could find it later.
When I got back to Claire's room she was standing by the window in her pajamas looking out the window. I walked over to where she was standing and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She leaned back against me and rested her head on my chest.
"A penny for your thoughts," I said, then kissed the top of your head.
"I was thinking… maybe I should go talk to Eve."
"Why don't you wait till in the morning?"
"I think I should go talk to her now, I did kind of bite her head off. She was just being Eve and she had no idea that my dad had just died. I don't want her to feel bad."
"I think she'll be okay. I'm sure she knows you're not-,"I started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, before I could finish.
"Claire?" came Eve's voice, from the hallway.
Claire and I both turned toward door.
"Yes, Eve?"
"I'm sorry… I didn't know. If I had, I wouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it the way that you think I did. It was kind of insensitive, though," Eve said and walked over to us.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have bitten your head off. I mean you couldn't have possibly known. But next time you might want to actually ask me what's wrong instead of just assuming. It might save us both a lot of trouble," Claire reasoned.
"Will do… So are we okay?"
"Definitely," Claire said, and stepped out of my grasp to hug Eve.
"I'm really sorry about your Dad."
"Thanks," Claire said, stepping out of their embrace.
"You're welcome. Well, I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning? I'm making waffles."
"Okay. Well…actually, Shane and I are going to go check on my mom first thing in the morning. You know, to see how she's coping. I'll probably make her some breakfast or something. So we'll probably eat there. But…rain check?"
"Okay, they might not be edible anyway. I'll make Michael be my guinea pig," Eve said as she walked towards the door.
"So does Michael know the number to poison control, or should I write it down for him before I leave, so that he doesn't have to look for it while he's vomiting uncontrollably," I teased.
"I'm not going to give him food poisoning, butt munch."
"I'm just saying, with the way you cook it might come in handy."
She flipped me off, then turned and walked out of the room.
"Shane, did you really have to say that?"Claire asked.
"You, know I had to tease her," I said, then pulled her into my arms and kissed her.
"Yeah, I know. You wouldn't be Shane if you didn't…Let's go to bed. I'm tired."
She kissed me back long and slow, then turned and walked over to the bed, pulled back the covers, and got in.
"You coming?"
I stood there, for a second unable to move. Whenever she kissed me like that, it awakened every nerve in my body. I was aroused and I had to get myself back in check, because I knew that she was grieving her father and there was no way anything even remotely sexual would be going on tonight. This was not the time for me to be thinking with my dick. She needed me, and If what she needed was to just to be held throughout the night, then that's what I would do. And only that. My own needs would have to wait. I felt like a complete asshat just thinking about it.
"Yeah… yeah, I am," I said, snapping out of it.
I walked over and slid under the covers that she was holding up for me, then slipped my arms around her.
"Good night," she said, laying her head on my chest.
"Good night, baby." I replied, then kissed the top of her head.
It wasn't long before I heard her snoring softly. She had had a rough day and I wasn't surprised that it hadn't taken her very long to fall asleep.
You did good today, Collins. I congratulated myself as I lay there with Claire in my arms and recalled the day's events in my head.
It felt good to know that I could be what Claire needed me to be, be there when she needed me, and be strong when she didn't have the strength to be. I'm not saying that she isn't strong, because she has to be one of the strongest people I know, I'm just glad that I could be there for her in her time of need, just like she'd been there for me so many times before.
I was also keeping the promise that I'd made to her father last night on the phone, a promise Claire didn't know I'd made. I'd promised to take care of his little girl when he couldn't any more. I didn't know then that his 'anymore' would be so soon. I thought that it was just hypothetical. But I think he did know, and that's why he'd wanted to talked to me so badly; because he wanted me to make that promise to him, and he knew that I was a man of my word. I promised him that I'd take care of her and I would keep that promise till the day I die.
I laid there and watched her sleep for most of the night, until I was lulled to sleep by the sounds of her soft snores.
*****************
I woke up the next morning and Claire was still asleep in my arms. I lay there for a moment breathing in her scent and listening to her breathe, then decided I'd better go take a shower and get ready, so that when Claire woke up, all she'd have to worry about was herself getting ready and then we could go.
I tried to silently creep out of bed, without waking her, but that didn't work out the way I had planned it, because when I slid myself out from under her, I over estimated how much space I had left on the bed, and ended up falling onto the floor, landing on my ass and smacking the back of my head on the dresser.
"Fuck," I mumbled, as quietly as I could, but Claire still woke up.
She rolled over, I'm guessing to see what all the commotion was about.
Good one Shane.
"What happened?" she asked, groggily.
"Nothing, I'm fine baby, go back to sleep," I softly instructed.
"That didn't sound like nothing. Are you sure okay?" she asked as she sat up.
"Yeah, I'm fine.," I said ,and got up off the floor, rubbing the sore spot on my head. "Don't worry about me. I was just being a dumbass."
"You hit your head didn't you? Let me see," Claire demanded.
"Baby, I'm fine."
"I'm sure you are, but let me see, okay?"
"Okay," relented.
Aw.
She was cute, being all concerned and bossy first thing in the morning.
I decided to amuse her, and sat down on the bed so that she could and let Claie look at the back of my head, and see for herself that I was okay.
"This really isn't necessary," I commented.
"You're right, you're fine," Claire said when she was finished inspecting my head.
"So you're satisfied now?"
"Yes…what were you doing anyway?"
"I was getting up to go take a shower and I was trying not to wake you up. I was being a gentleman," I informed her.
" Yeah well, do me a favor and just wake me up next time, oka?."
"Okay," I said and gave her lips a soft good morning kiss.
"What time is it?"
I checked my watch and answered. "Its 8:45, we should probably get ready to go."
"Yeah, you're right. Go take a shower, and I'll get dressed and wait for you down stairs."
"Okay, I won't be long."
I kissed her once more, then got up and left room.
*****************
After I had finished taking a shower and got dressed, in my usual jeans and a t- shirt, I went down stairs and found Claire sitting on the couch alone, watching Television, while she waited for me. Apparently Michael and Eve had decided to sleep in.
"Are you ready to go, babe?"
"Yeah, just a second…let me set this to record real quick." she said without taking her eyes off the screen.
"What are you watching?"I asked and walked over to look and see what Claire couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from.
"One Tree Hill. It just came on. It's a rerun, but I haven't seen it, yet," she stated, while picking up the remote and setting the DVR to record.
"Isn't that one of those girly Soap Opera things?"
"Maybe."
"I thought you hated those things."
"Yeah I do, but this one is really good."she said, trying to sound convincing.
"Okay, I'm ready," she announced. She put the remote down, got up and walked over to me, all while still looking at the television.
"Girls," I said, smiling to myself and shook my head. "I will never understand your species."
"What?"she asked.
"Nothing, let's go. Your mom is probably up by now."
She turned away from the television and gave me a worried look.
"Do you think she's okay? Do you think she got through the night okay without him? My father, I mean," she asked, looking for reassurance.
"I'm sure she's fine, baby, but let's just get out of here, so that we can go over there and make sure. I know it will make you feel better once you see for yourself."
"Okay, I know you're right,. Let's go."
She quickly grabbed her purse, then we left and headed for her mother's house.
****************
When we finally knocked on her Mom's front door it was around 9:45. Her mom answered after the second knock. She looked tired, but somewhat better than she had the night before.
"Hi mom," Claire greeted her mother, sweetly.
"Hi sweetheart," she said, and held her arms out for a hug.
Claire walked in to them and hugged her mother tightly. They stayed that way, wrapped in a hug for a long time and I just stood there quietly giving them the time that they needed. It was her mother that finally broke the hug.
"Hello, Shane," Claire's mother said, acknowledging me.
"Hi, Mrs. Danvers," I replied.
"Come on in, you two."
We followed her inside and I shut the door behind us. We walked the rest of the way into the living room and she waved us toward the couch.
"Have a seat," she said, thenwalked over and sat in the chair beside the couch where we were going to sit.
"What are the two of you doing here? I wasn't expecting you." She said.
"We came to make sure were you okay," Claire answered as we sat down. "You are… okay, right?" she asked her mother uncertainly.
"Yes sweetheart, I'm okay. You don't need to worry about me," her mother assured her. "I know I was a mess last night and I'm sorry that you had to see me that way, but I'm going to be okay. I promise. I'm really going to miss your father. It won't be the same without him. But I will be okay Claire…I could see in your eyes how worried you were when I opened the door…but you don't need to worry. Your dear old Mom is going to be fine… okay."
It was like her Mother had done a complete one eighty over night. I could still see the pain in her eyes and hear it a little in her voice, but she seemed to be doing better…or at least, she was pretending for Claire's sake.
I couldn't tell which.
"Okay. What are you going to do about Daddy's fu-funeral?" Claire asked getting chocked up.
"I was thinking we could have it Wednesday. Of course I have a lot of phone calls and arrangements to make, but I think that Wednesday will give people enough time."
"I can help make the phone calls." Claire offered
"That's okay sweetheart, I'll take care of it."
"Are you sure? I can help. You don't have to do everything by yourself."
"Yes, Mrs. Danvers. We can help you, both of us can," I confirmed.
"That's sweet of you, Shane… I suppose there are some things you guys can help with…um Claire, before I forget… your father wanted me to give you something. I'll just go up and get it." She said, then got up and started towards the stairs. "I'll be right back."
She disappeared up the stairs, and was gone for a moment, butbefore Claire and I had time to think was back in the living room walking towards us carrying an envelope and a what looked like a CD case.
Claire stood up when her mother entered the room and I followed suit.
"What is that, Mom?"Claire asked, looking curiously at the things that her Mother had brought with her.
"It's a letter that your father wrote to you and a CD he made for you before he passed away. He had some things he wanted to say to you before, well before…you know. The CD has some songs on it that he said he wanted you hear. They meant a lot to him. He said they made him think of you. He spent the last few days upstairs working on this. He was going to give it to you at dinner last night but…well. Anyway he wanted you to have these," She finished, and put them into Claire's hands.
Claire stood there looking at the envelope and the CD that her Mom had just given her, and when she looked up, it was like her entire body language had changed.
"You knew? Both of you knew and you didn't tell me?" she asked, her tone colored in disbelief. It was more of an accusation, than a question.
"Yes, we knew Claire. We were going to tell you."
"But you didn't," she responded flatly
"No, and I'm so sorry, we just… we thought-"
"How long have you known?" Claire interupted
"For a while," her mother said, with tears in her eyes. "He had a bad heart…the doctors said that he didn't have much time."
"What about a transplant or something?" Claire insisted
"He was on the donor list Claire, but he was too far down, there just wasn't enough time, and there was nothing else that could have been done. They had tried everything else but it just wasn't helping. He needed a new heart and there just wasn't any time."
"You could have told me… you should have told me, but you chose not to and because of that I didn't get to say good bye, or get anytime to process this. The two of you had time to deal with it because you knew. But I didn't, because you decided to keep it from me," Claire pointed out, getting upset.
I put my hand on Claire's shoulder letting her know that I was still there, that I was on her side and to hopefully calm her down a little.
"We were going to tell you the other night, but you called and canceled and-,"
Claire clenched her jaw, squinted her beautiful eyes into a slight glare, and even balled up her fists a little bit. "Don't you do that," she demanded. " Don't you dare make this my fault, mother. Because you had plenty of time to tell me before then, but you didn't. And it's not fair," she told her mother speaking in a curt tone.
"You're right. Claire, and I'm sorry." she said, trying to put her hand on Claire's other shoulder, but Claire shrugged it off.
"Don't touch me," she demanded petulantly.
"Claire."
"You know what. You can keep this because I don't want it," Claire said, shoving the envelope and CD back into her mom's hands.
"Please don't do this," her mother pleaded.
"I hate you…and I shouldn't say this because he's not here to defend himself, but right now, I hate him too."
Her mother stood there with a shocked expression on her face as Claire went over to grab her purse and left the room.
I walked over to her Mother and held my hand out."Give them to me and I'll give them to her. She'll want them later, when she calms down."
"Thank you." She replied, and handed me the items.
"Don't thank me. You really should have told her. But I know that she'll be angry with herself later for not taking them and she doesn't need to feel guilty on top of everything else," I said, then left Mrs. Danvers standing there and ran out after Claire.
When I got to the front door she'd already left the house, so I stuffed the envelope and CD in to the front of my pants, opened the door, and ran down the porch steps and across the street to the car. I saw her there in the passenger seat so I opened the door and got in on the driver's side. She was sitting there with her head rested back against the head rest, looking up at the roof of the car, with tears streaming down her face.
"Claire?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Just take me home," she demanded quietly in a broken voice that cracked.
I sighed. "Alright," I said, willing to do anything she asked without arguing.
I reached into my pocket, pulled out the key, stuck it in the ignition and started the car. I took one more look at Claire, then put the car in gear, and pulled away from the curb. I felt bad for her and a little sad too, and maybe even a little angry. Her parent's really should have told her, because by not telling her, they robbed her of the important final moments with her father and the chance to tell him good bye.
*****************
Claire's POV
When we got home, I ran into the house and up the stairs without saying hello to Michael or Eve. I ran into my room, dropped my purse, and went straight to the stereo turning it on full blast. I didn't care what song was playing, I just knew that I was going to cry and I didn't want anyone to hear me. I got in the bed without getting under the covers, picked Theodore up off the bed, hugged him to my chest and laid down.
As I lay there, the lyrics to the song playing on the stereo began to seep into my conscious thoughts, but it wasn't until I heard the words, "I remember when you used to tuck me in at night, with the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight," that I realized the song that was playing was Mariah Carey's Bye-Bye. I looked down and saw Theodore the bear that my own father had given me, and the memories of my dad tucking me in at night, while I held tightly to Theodore, came flooding back. The tears came then, and I couldn't stop them. I began to sob uncontrollably.
I was crying so hard that I barely noticed when Shane came into the room and turned off the stereo. What I remember clearly is feeling Shane's arms wrap around me, pull me to his chest, and him whispering in my ear that he loved me and that everything would be okay. Those were his only words. After that, he just held me while I cried.
I cried out all the pain and anger, I cried until I had nothing left, but he didn't seem to mind…he just lay there quietly and held me until I finally cried myself to sleep.
A/N:
So how did you guys like it?
I've been getting favorites and alert adds, but barely any reviews.
Come on peeps, I need the reviews beacuse I need the feedback.
Thanks, you guys rock!