Disclaimer - I don't own death note.

Chapter 35 - My First Friend... My First Love... (Ma Cherie Amour)

"Oriana please don't...," Sorrow cried. She lay on the floor horribly wounded, and covered in her own blood. Tears ran down her face as she stared up at her sister. Oriana just stared, a cold look upon her face. "...big sis?" Sorrow tried. "Mother was right. You're better of dead." Oriana raised her hand and a sudden flash light escaped her palm. "Oriana!"

Chanel awoke and quickly sat up. She was wet with her own sweat, and was taking in large breaths. She moved a strand of hair from her face. Chanel got up, off the bed and headed to the livingroom. The room was dark except for the light coming from Ryuuzaki's laptop. Ryuuzaki was sitting on the sofa; typing away at his laptop. Chanel went over and sat next to him. "Trouble sleeping?" Ryuuzaki asked not looking away from his laptop. Chanel shook her head. "Bad dream." "What was it about?" "...someone killed me..." Ryuuzaki paused for a minute. "Who?" "It doesn't matter." Ryuuzaki glanced at Chanel from his peripheral vision; then continued to type on his computer. "Ryuuzaki," Chanel said looking up at him. "Yes Chanel." "What going to happen after the Kira case? I mean between you and me; are you going to send me on my way or are you going to have me stay with you."

Ryuuzaki paused from his typing. Then he turned to her. "That's completely up to you." Chanel stood shocked. "What?" "You can stay with me and continue to solve cases, or can go on with your own life. Which will you choose?" Chanel paused for a moment. "I-I'll have to think about it." Ryuuzaki stared at her for a moment longer then turned away, and continued with his work. Chanel yawned. "You go back to bed." "Um... Ryuuzaki." "Yes?" "I was wondering if... you could sleep with me tonight." Chanel cheek tinted a light pink, but couldn't be seen since the room was so dim. Ryuuzaki turned and looked at her. "I don't think that would be appropriate." He said in a low voice. Chanel pouted. "When we were younger you would always sleep in my bed, when I had nightmares." "That was different," Ryuuzaki said looking away. "I'm your friend, right?" "Yes, but-," Ryuuzaki cut himself off.

"Please Zaki," Chanel said pouting, and giving him her best puppy dog eyes. Ryuuzaki blushed a bit at this. Then he sighed deeply. "Alright," he said in almost a whisper. Chanel smiled, grabbed his hand, and led him to the room. She climbed into the bed and under the covers. Ryuuzaki just watched from the doorway. Then she patted the spot next to her on the bed; inviting him. He walked over to the bed, and was soon under the covers with her. They lied down facing each other. Chanel looked at him and inched closer to him. She took his shirt into her hand and fisted it. She wanted to snuggle with his shirt, but was hesitating. Ryuuzaki looked into her eyes and brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face.

Chanel blushed a little. Ryuuzaki took his arm and put it around her waist loosely, and leaned his face to hers. Their noses touched and Chanel blushed deeper. She quickly buried her face into his shirt. He feels so warm, Chanel thought and moved in closer to him. Chanel began to fall asleep, and once Ryuuzaki was sure she was asleep he wrapped his arm tighter around her waist.

The next night the police had intercepted another message from Kira. Light had just walked through the door when they were about to watch it. "Hello," he said putting down his jacket. "You're timing could be better actually. We have just received a new video message from the second Kira." Ryuuzaki said. "Huh? That didn't take long." Light said going over to the television. "Yes, I believe it's the last one. Well take a look at this." Ryuuzaki said pressing the play button. "I've decided to stop searching for Kira, and I'd like to thank the police department for their advice." The fake voice said. "However I still plan to help Kira on his mission, and I hope that in time he will come to see me as an Allie. I will start to punish criminals that Kira has yet to judge. Also I will share my power with those who I think are worthy, and encourage them to do the same. Together we'll make this world a better place."

Then the video ended and Ryuuzaki turned of the television. "After watching this I can only assume that Kira and second Kira have made contact." Ryuuzaki said. "What makes you say that?" Light asked. "Oh come on didn't you sense it? I was sure you'd come to the same conclusion I did after watching this once." Ryuuzaki picked up a donut and bite it. "First consider how determined he was to meet Kira. So why the sudden change of heart? No he wants to punish criminals that Kira hasn't, and all he wants out of it is for Kira to see him as an Allie? It begs the question why didn't he do this in the first place? My guess is that he never thought that far ahead. He probably met Kira and was told what criminals he was allowed to judge. I suspect that the purpose of this message was to hide the fact that they met."

"I see what I find really strange is that it's unlike Kira to be so careless." Light said. What you're really thinking is that you never thought that he'd find out, Chanel thought. "Yes that's true," Ryuuzaki said licking his fingers. "But I think that Kira was careless this time, or this is his way of letting us know they've made contact. It would be an effective means of provoking us, because the idea of they're union is very threatening. However this is one less reason to suspect that Light is Kira." Damn, another step back. "Ryuuzaki what do you mean by that," Yagami-san said eager to know his answer. "If Light is Kira I don't think this is the message that he would've had the second Kira send us. It doesn't make sense he would've made the second Kira go through with having me appear on Tv, and deny that they've ever made contact; then have the second Kira shoulder the blame for my death."

Ryuuzaki picked up another donut. "He would've said something like 'although I agree not to go through with this I have come to realize that it was not Kira's intention that I stop. I'm positive that real Kira would want L to die. There's no way he'd make me stop." Ryuuzaki then licked the chocolate of the donut. That is true but I Light made a mistake this time, Chanel thought. "Ryuuzaki," Light said. "Yes Light." "I think you're mistaken I would never do that if I were Kira." "Why not?" "Well if you're L and I'm Kira I already know your personality very well. L would never agree to appear on Tv no matter what threat he was facing, and he wouldn't let anyone take his place. The L I know would find a way to escape the situation." "So you've figured it out." "Light I don't like it when you say 'if I were Kira'. Even hypothetically. You've got to stop that."

"Oh I'm sorry dad. I just wanted to let Ryuuzaki what I thought of his plan. I only posed that scenario because I wasn't to help this case. It's the only chance I have to clear my name. Besides the only reason I feel comfortable with saying things like that is because I'm not Kira." Chanel rolled her eyes and really didn't care who saw her then. "It's a good point. You're not Kira." Come on Ryuuzaki. What are you talking about? "That is it would be a problem if you were Kira, because I feel you're the first friend I've ever had." Ryuuzaki didn't turn around when he told Light this. Chanel felt as though several knives had just pierced her heart. She had a shocked look on her face, and no thoughts crossed her mind at that moment. "Isn't this man you grew up with," Roki said. "Your 'best friend'? How do you-" Roki cut himself off when he saw Chanel shaking slightly. Though no one else seemed to notice.

"Yeah I know what you mean. The two of us have a lot in common." Light said. "Thanks," Ryuuzaki said turning around only slightly. "And I have missed having you around at school. We should play tennis again soon." "Yes we should." Ryuuzaki turned back around and sipped his tea. Chanel suddenly felt claustrophobic. It's a lie it- it just has to be. I have to get out of this room. I need fresh air! "Chanel," Ryuuzaki said snapping her away from her thoughts. "Could you go to the store and get me some sweets I'm running low." "Sure," she said practically running out of the room.

When Chanel was out of the hotel she took in a deep breath. Then she started walking to the store. It was lie. It was just a lie. But even so how could say something like that, and with me in the room. He's a jerk. I hate him. I hate him! Chanel ripped off the charm bracelet, that had always been worn on her right wrist, and threw it on the ground. She was breathing hard and stared at it. The little charms shined as the light from the lamp post hit it. Chanel eyes became watery. She picked it up and looked at it for a moment. Then she put it in her pocket. Let me just get those things for that jerk, and that's it. Chanel then headed for the closest bakery, which was about ten blocks away.

Chanel had a bag of the sweets in her hand and the other one in her other hand was in her pocket. She had just left the bakery, and didn't even cross the street yet. "How are you feeling," Roki asked. Since there wasn't anyone around Chanel decided to answer him. "I'm fine. Better than I was before, I can assure." "How bad did it hurt?" "I don't want to talk about it." Chanel made her way back to the hotel and when she entered the suite she saw that everyone had left. How long did I take,Chanel thought. Chanel walked over to Ryuuzaki and placed the sweets in front of him. "Here," Chanel said coldly then walked towards her room. Ryuuzaki noticed that she wasn't wearing her charm bracelet. "Chanel what happened to your charm bracelet?" Chanel shrugged her shoulders.

Then Ryuuzaki got up, grabbed Chanel by the arm, and turned her around. "Chanel, What happened to your charm bracelet?" He said once more. "Maybe it fell off my wrist. Why do you care?" "Chanel going on with you?" "Nothing now let go of me." Chanel tried to shrug off Ryuuzaki's hand, but had no avail. "Ryuuzaki let go off me." She said through clenched teeth. "Not until you tell me what's going on with you. Last night you wanted me to sleep with you, and now you're acting like this. What's wrong with you?" "Ryuuzaki let go of me," Chanel said shouting this time. "Not until you tell me what's going on." "Chanel attempted to pull Ryuuzaki's hand off of her, but he just wouldn't let go. "Damn it! I said let go!" Chanel shouted. "If I let you will you tell me what's wrong?" "Ryuuzaki," Chanel said through clenched teeth. Ryuuzaki challenged her with his eyes.

Chanel sighed deeply then gave in. "Fine. I tell you just let me go." Ryuuzaki let go of her arm. "Who am to you?" Ryuuzaki didn't respond right away to her. "You're my best friend." He said his face stoic. "You fucking liar!" "Chanel please don't use profanity." "Don't tell me what the hell what to do! If I want to curse I will!" "Fine use profanity." Ryuuzaki said starting to get agitated. "You're such a fucking bastard!" Ryuuzaki winced at this. "Are you going to continue to curse me out or are you going to tell me the cause for all this." "How could you just kick me out of your life; leaving me to fend for my self with no money and no place to go? And why after two years have me help you with the Kira case. Then when ask you what going to happen after the Kira case you say. It's all up to me to decide whether I want to stay with you or not. It wasn't up to me two years ago. If I remember clearly you said that I wasn't fucking needed anymore! How can you treat me like this? I was happy... I was so happy and you... took my world and turned upside down and inside out." Chanel's eyes filled up with tears. "Just tell me why you did that."

Ryuuzaki stood silent for a moment. "I don't want to." "You don't want to? I deserve an explanation." Chanel grabbed the collar of his shirt. "Tell me!" Ryuuzaki just stared at her. Chanel started to cry. She felt her knees go weak, and let go of his shirt and sank to the floor. She cried into her hands. "I-I loved you so much, and you just didn't care about me at all... You want to know what's sad. I still love you." Ryuuzaki stood silent with a shocked look on his face. Chanel removed her hands from her face and looked up at him "Yeah I'll admit it. I love you. I've loved you since we were little. I wanted to be with you so much that I even left the only family member I had left just to be with you. I'd take a damn bullet for you, but apparently you couldn't give a shit about me. I'm just that stupid girl you love to play mind games on." Chanel continued to cry looking down at the floor.

Ryuuzaki knelt down next to her. He stroked her hair to try to comfort her, but she brushed him off. Ryuuzaki put his hand on her cheek and raised her head to look in her face. Then he began to wipe her tears away. "Chanel I told you I hate to see you cry." Then Ryuuzaki smiled at her. She frowned at him and turned away. "Chanel can you keep a secret?" Chanel nodded. Ryuuzaki leaned to her hear and said; "I love you too." Chanel stood shocked; her eyes wide. "Do you really want to know why I left you then?" Chanel nodded once more. "A year before everything I wanted to tell you how I felt. Though I kept thinking what if you didn't feel the same way. Then things would become awkward between us. Then what if you did, and we had a romantic relationship? What if we broke up, and you would want to leave me? I couldn't bare that. So I never told you and decided things were fine as just friends."

"So why did you remove me from your life?" "I'm not finished, love." Chanel blushed at him calling her his love. "A little before we took up the L.A.B.B murder case I was thinking over several things between you and I. What if you wanted to get married; to have kids? Was I holding you back from that? You were already twenty and had never been in a relationship because I had deprived you of that. Since you were constantly helping me solve cases. What if you later in life you were unhappy because you would never experience those things? I wouldn't be able to handle that. Maybe you want to leave to find someone that wanted to marry you; to have kids with you? It didn't have to be about that. You could have left at anytime. So I was juggling the idea that it would have been better to make you leave then to have you decide that on your own. I couldn't bring myself to do that until after I talked with Beyond at the hospital." "What did he tell you that day?" Ryuuzaki began to tell Chanel everything that was said with Beyond.

"I know when you're going to die..." Ryuuzaki stared at him. His face stoic and emotionless, but inside his stomach turned. "Do you want to know how... I have the eyes... and so does she..." Beyond grinned. "What are you talking about?" "Oh nothing, nothing. So is that cute little blond still with you?" "Yes." "Oh, are the two of you a couple?" "Why does it matter to you?" "Oh you're not. That's a shame you two look really cute together," Beyond grinned. "Is it because she thinks she can do better? Ah women you can't live with them; you can't live without them. You know she's going to leave you some day. Maybe not today; maybe not tomorrow, but she will leave you. How are going to feel about that? Oh yeah I forgot you can't feel. You have no soul, your heart is like ice, and all you care about is yourself." Beyond's eyes suddenly turned harsh as he stared at Ryuuzaki. "I hope she does leave you, and it hurts." Then Ryuuzaki walked out of Beyond's room. Chanel looked up at him; she saw that he looked upset...

"Normally I wouldn't have listened to an insane person, but he was right because I had been thinking the same thing." "Beyond was right all only care about yourself." Chanel said getting up. "You protected yourself from getting hurt. Nothing more." Ryuuzaki got up as well. "What I can't understand is why you even bothered to have me help with you with this case. There are so many others who could have helped you. You probably didn't even need me. Then when I you have me decide if I want to stay with you or not. You're unbelievable." Chanel turned to walk away, but Ryuuzaki grabbed her and pulled her to him. "I really do need your help with the case. If you want to know why I came for you I'll tell you." Ryuuzaki looked her in the eyes. "I came for you because I missed you. Even if you refused to help me, just you see you one more time would've meant the world to me."

Chanel stood silent; she didn't know what to say. Ryuuzaki leaned his forehead against hers and ran his fingers through her waist length hair. Chanel blushed lightly, and Ryuuzaki kissed the tip of her nose. Then he leaned in a bit closer. Chanel did the same, and they closed the space between them. Chanel felt tingles run up and down her spine. She didn't want the kiss to end, but Ryuuzaki pulled away. Chanel whimpered at this. Then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Ryuuzaki kissed her back wrapping his arms around her waist. Ryuuzaki then began lightly sucking on her lower lip and then did the same to her upper lip. Chanel moaned slightly. As they kissed more intensely Ryuuzaki tightened his arms around Chanel. Chanel didn't want to stop kissing him, but she was slowly staring to run out of breath. She figured he notice when her body went limp.

Then Ryuuzaki pulled away. Their chests expanded and contracted as they caught their breath. "Chanel we can't be together." Ryuuzaki said. "What why?" "I need all my attention on catching Kira, and a relationship would only distract me. I'm afraid we can't be together until after Kira is caught." "But-," Chanel tried, but cut herself off as she saw the serious look on Ryuuzaki's face. "Alright," she said and removed her arms from around his neck. Ryuuzaki didn't let go of her though. "Zaki I thought said we couldn't." "I know what I said. Please just give me a moment." Ryuuzaki slowly let go of her and sighed. "Zaki I know we can't be together, but I was wondering if you would sleep with me tonight." "Just sleep," Ryuuzaki asked. "Just sleep," Chanel said. Ryuuzaki smirked. "Alright my love."

Chanel grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. They crawled under the covers and held each other. Chanel held on to Ryuuzaki's shirt as though someone was going to pull her away from him at any moment. She buried her face into his shirt and soon found sleep. Ryuuzaki had his arms around her tightly, but not too tightly. Ryuuzaki didn't sleep that night. He simply took in the scent of her strawberry shampoo, and the soft touch of her skin. Then he leaned down to her ear and whispered; "I really do love you."

End of Chapter 35 - My First Friend... My First Love... (Ma Cherie Amour)

I wanted to write this chapter for so long! I'm so happy I did. I hope L isn't ooc. I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter. I was kinda said about that, but I appreciated those who did review. Any way I hope you like this chapter and please review.

Chanel:*glares*

Me: What?

Chanel: He says he loves me but we can't be together cause of the stupid Kira case!

me: *scratches head sheepishly* heh heh... gotta go! like said please review!

Chanel: get back here!

Me: *runs*