BlooperLover your comment about making the fic into series made people who were sitting near me in rl give me the odd 'whacha laughing at?' look. XD

Blair's Big Bust

Rhea:

I've always said that I want to intertwine my life with a man who has kind eyes. James, I've received his permission to address him informally, has this quality. I am a confident woman, yet I couldn't help a twinge of anxiety when I first approached him. I suppose, it is normal for a woman to feel apprehensive in a presence of an attractive man. Add his reputation, not impeccable due to the malicious gossip, which any human being of common sense would not hold against him, related to his formal engagement to the Governor's daughter and a sudden resignation from his post, but virtuous regardless, and a strong measure of rigidness one encounters when they first meet him, and it is enough to make a woman feel pressured to behave nothing short of perfect in his presence.

I've realised that such opinion is nothing short of an illusion as soon as I looked into his eyes, so gentle and full of suppressed emotion. I do not need to feign perfection. The best service I can do us both is show him who I am, a mother and a woman who can surround his heart with tenderness. I have a lot of love and care to give. This is why I am looking for the eyes filled with kindness. Not only does my partner need a big heart to love me and take in all my love, but he must accept my children and love them as his own. I've loved my husband dearly, and I know that kindness is what I am looking for in a new relationship.

Janet:

Having my twin with me is a great comfort. I feel that all women in the mansion are barely feigning politeness, but edging to get their claws out at the slightest opportunity. Some of them are already showing, especially Shannen. She cannot keep herself out of the drama and alcohol. My twin and I have decided to play a little prank on her, and mixed a strong batch of scotch into her whiskey. Julia distracted her with conversation meanwhile I created the explosive mixture. The look we've been hoping for, however, didn't happen because Shannen drowned her glass easily without as much as wincing. It will be great fun if she falls down eventually, preferably with her face some place uncomfortable.

Amanpreet came back from one on one chat with the Admiral wearing his jacket. Now everyone hates Amanpreet. She complained about being cold - in this infernal heat! Like a true gentleman he took care of the matter. Maybe we should thank her, however, because he looks even better without the distancing layer of brocade. I wonder, if more of us complained about being cold, can we get his vest and the shirt off too?

Trying to keep things fun and upbeat, my sister and I join the bachelor. We sit down on both sides of him and challenge him to guess which one of us is which twin. He identifies us correctly by name. He certainly has an excellent memory, being able to name all women in the room. And, he is highly observant. I have a tiny birthmark on my neck that distinguishes me from Julia. He noticed it before we've even entered the mansion. Not many are capable of doing so, even when the two of us stand side by side.

I feel that my dear twin has developed a greater fancy for the bachelor than I did. However, I certainly wouldn't decline a rose should he choose to continue our acquaintance. I may yet develop romantic feelings. I certainly think him handsome and agreeable enough.

Brenda:

I've been choosing my timing right, not too late nor early in the evening. I intend to take the bachelor away from another woman, subtly. I wait in the shadowed doorway, observing his private conversation with Kerri. She is genuinely upset. According to gossip, she has developed a crush on him ever since she had met him a month ago, and now she is poorly handling the competition. This girl may have grown into her corset, but she is still an insecure child who should be courted by a young man no older than twenty. It is too early for her to marry, which I think the Admiral sees as well. Her waterworks are starting. Now he truly looks harassed as he makes a clumsy attempt at comforting her.

I have the beauty and the right breeding to make a dazzling first impression. Norrington is the protector of Port Royal. He is a selfless man who will appreciate a selfless act. When her crying reaches its peak, I glide into the room like a guardian angel.

"Oh Heavens, forgive me for interrupting a private moment!" I exclaim. His eyes rise, and I meet them with shyness, allowing him to drown in my beautiful, blue eyes, and then dropping my gaze down to the hem of my blue dress that swirls about me like a mysterious lake. I pretend to be startled, but my seeming compassion wins over shyness and I take a few reluctant steps closer to them to place a comforting hand on Kerri's shoulder. "My dear, you are completely soaking the Admiral's vest," I inform her.

She pulls away, blushing and rubbing her eyes, to his evident relief. "Now, now, don't be shy about crying. I've felt just a little bit sad this evening too. This situation is so unusual, and this party is draining for us all. However, I've remembered that it must be very difficult for Admiral Norrington. I think we should try to make a good impression on him rather than burdening him with our problems."

"Your concerns are not trivial, dear lady. I'd prefer if you do not conceal your troubles from me. I will gladly help in any way I can," he finally addresses me.

"No, she is right," Kerri says quickly, "I am overreacting. Please, forgive me, James."

It is very unpleasant to hear her calling him by his first name so soon. The circumstances are unusual, although I have no objection, because we have been introduced to him by our first names, but we must create a comfortable enough bond with him in order to use his first name. I force an understanding smile. "That's better. You must dry your eyes and smile. You are so pretty when you do. A glass of warm milk will help you calm down, and then you can return to the party. I've seen a kitchen nearby. I will guide you there."

"Thank you," she says, ever so naively, allowing me to pry her hands off him to help her rise.

I drop into a low curtsy before the Admiral, tilting my head back enough to reveal the vulnerable curve of my neck surrounded by curls. "Forgive me, Mr Norrington. I have been so dearly looking forward to speaking with you, but I'm afraid we must postpone our conversation, certainly not for the lack of want. I hope you will give me an opportunity to get to know you better. I'd regret to be sent home."

He tilts his head respectfully, and I feel a moment of triumph. I'm confident that I will not be going home.

"I will do my best to make up for our current lack of interaction, Miss."

I smile and make an exit, taking Kerri with me and out of his life.

Blair:

I assert my rightful place in the center of the room, taking up the largest couch on my own after hunting down the Admiral to be one of the first women to speak with him. I am good at seducing men. It is the feminine art to appeal to their basic instincts, which I've developed ever since I was fourteen. I haven't been able to get him to kiss me, but I'm sure I've caught him looking down my dress. I can't blame him. I have the most appealing cleavage.

Afterwards, the evening progressed without lacklustre. I'm a bright woman with a huge personality. I'm not for everyone. I've busied myself with eliminating all women who I thought lacked all charm to seduce a man of his stature, a task in which Shannen was of great help. One of our targets was Ursula. She presented Norrington with the ugliest scarf I've ever seen. I beg her to tell me who needs a scarf in the Caribbean? Heather is a brilliant woman of a high social position and wealth. She remarked that her maid has a rag similar to this scarf for dusting the windowsills, which I believe shamed Ursula enough because she hurried to excuse herself from our company. Shannen and I, however, felt that we haven't impressed strongly enough on her how ridiculous and out of place she was at this illustrious gathering. We've persisted in following her around the room with our fair critique until she ran away crying.

Rhea, ever the mother, went to comfort her, but not before trying to confront me about the teasing. She thinks she is wiser than other women here because she is a mother, when in fact her age simply makes her old. She is just envious because I am a young, attractive woman who men can't keep their eyes off, much unlike her. I have a strong way of expressing my opinions. I won't let her look down on me. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she has a problem with something she can walk out of the mansion immediately.

Unfortunately, our short bout of entertainment made us lose an important moment. While we were making fun of Ursula, the bachelor has given out the first impression rose. Not only am I outraged by his hypocrisy, because he obviously desires me, but also by his misshapen choice. I would have been happier had it been Helen or Brenda who at least have some assets to look at. But, he has given the rose to that long nosed Ramona who wears glasses because she cannot keep her head out of the books. What could she possibly contribute to a man other than talking utter rubbish about supposedly famous people that died many years ago? Who cares about them if they did? Now, Colonel Bray, who owes a plantation and an income of ten thousand pounds a year, is a famous man, but what good has Aristotle done to anyone? Too much education definitely ruins a woman.

Shannen:

I cannot believe the bachelor has given out the first rose before meeting me. I assume he simply has a bad taste, something I intend to correct when I marry him. Another proof of it is that he is taking too long to notice me. He wastes his time on other women, and tries too hard to share individual time with every one of them. Half of these women don't deserve to be here. They're clearly a bad match for him. Be as it may, my situation isn't good at all. I must do something to leave a memorable impression. Luckily, I've prepared for this trouble in advance.

I take the initiative when he is talking to that pale moth Joanna, and plop onto the couch between them, certain that Norrington will appreciate liberation from her dull company. She's always sad. Her black dress is sad. Her existence is sad. She departs with an apology. Of course she should be sorry; she is a sad waste of space.

I take his hat and put my present into it. The look on his face is priceless as he realises that these are my undergarments. I put my arms around him and cling to his neck while he leads me back to my seat and asks for permission to hand me another drink, but then he leaves as soon as he hands the glass to me. I am unable to follow him or walk around because the room keep spinning, so I am abandoned to observe from the couch as Jade invites him for a dance. She looks great, at least in comparison to him, but he sure is horrible at dancing. Men don't like being made look stupid. She isn't getting a rose.

I think I must have shortly fallen asleep because I never saw Theodore Groves appear to summon the Admiral away to finalise his choice. I am woken by Blair, and make it to the rose ceremony by hanging onto her, where Norrington makes the most boring and useless speech ever.

"Dear women, this past year filled with peril and losses had not been easy for many of us. Nonetheless, it served to reveal our true values, and forced us to strengthen the bonds with our loved ones, for there is no one dearer to us than they are."

I wonder why he is not wearing his hat.

"I believe that this is why we have gathered here, to find someone special to love, to hold and never let go."

I just want him to give me a rose as soon as possible. I urgently need the chamber pot.

"I am humbled that each of you have welcomed the chance to meet me. I thank you and your families for opening yourselves to this experience, and taking a risk to find love. All of you have admirable qualities. I hope, those of you who will not receive a rose will accept my sincerest appologies."

At last he gets down to what's important and picks up the first rose. My balance isn't very good. I'm concerned how I am going to walk up to him when he calls my name or stay upright when Blair's name will be called, but he looks to the other end of the room and says 'Brenda.' I lose count of the other names he calls, but he asks neither of us.

I think it is a foul mistake when he runs out of roses, and everyone begins hugging as if any of the women who stayed are truly sorry for those who must leave. I demand an explanation from the Admiral by calling him a few selective names to which I receive an apology instead of a rose. I am going to sink my nails into his face, but several naval officers appear and drag me out of the room. I'm going to get even with them for mishandling me if I remember their faces! My anger at them is nothing compared to the rage I feel when I think about the Admiral. I'm so over this fool! I wouldn't have accepted a rose had he begged me on his knees to take it from him. A man who ignores me doesn't deserve to be in my presence! I want to go home! I'm done with this cheap comedy!

Ladies Eliminated:

1. Shannen – 19, drunk, thinks she is better than everyone else

2. Winona – 18, snobbish, stuck up, rational, intelligent

3. Doris – 17, ambitious, fashioned herself into a woman she thinks James would like

4. Kerri – 17, insecure, complains to James about how hard it is to compete with other women

5. Janet – 20, twin, playful

6. Blair – 19, fights other women, obnoxious

7. Octavia – 16, youngest in the family, used to attention

8. Ursula – 22, good values, boring, keeps talking about the knitting

9. Julia – 20, twin, quiet

10. Naomi – 18, afraid to break a nail, honest about being high maintenance, genuine

Ladies who have received a rose:

1. Amanpreet – 20, spoiled, pretends to be modest but isn't

2. Yulia – 24, well read, devoted, uptight, religious

3. Lucia – 22, pushover, modest, kind

4. Louisa – 21, outgoing, funny, honest, horse face

5. Thelma – 16, has many siblings, mature, reliable

6. Ramona – 21, bookish, educated, well mannered, reserved, long nose

7. Rhea – 26, compassionate, tender, widow, mother of three children

8. Joanna – 23, lost her fiancée, melancholy, tries to live again

9. Carmen – 19, adventurous, free spirited, tomboy

10. Tracy – 19, gossipy, not overly bright, nosy

11. Nessa – 20, old fashioned, husband is more important than wife, defers to the partner

12. Olivia – 23, well tempered, patient, disgraced, fiancée abandoned her

13. Heather – 21, wealthy, bully, sides with drama, looks down on others

14. Brenda – 21, beautiful, daughter of a broke nobleman

15. Jade – 19, graceful, gifted in music and dancing

As you can tell by this amazing selection, chaos and mayhem totally rule James' brain at present as to what type of woman he is looking for. Can he figure it out? Will his friends help him?