She woke up a few hours later feeling awful. She didn't know for how long she had cried before she'd fallen asleep but it had given her a horrible headache. Her eyes felt puffy and gross from the dried tears.

She took an aspirin and washed her face. Looking at her miserable reflection in the mirror she let out a sigh. How was this even happening? What was supposed to be some quick rebellious fun had turned into a nightmare. How had she gone from worrying about a few not-even-herpes sores to HIV?

She thought of what she knew of the disease. She'd learned about it in school, of course, and had heard a little in the time since. But all she really knew was that it affected your immune system and people often died from AIDS-related illnesses. Surely the treatments were better now, right? She knew people died quickly in the past from it, but that was when they were just learning what it really was.

She needed to calm down. She hadn't even had a positive test result and here she was worrying about how quickly she was going to die. She knew she was overreacting but wasn't sure how to stop.

She got an idea. She hadn't been with anyone but David for years so if she really had it it would be from him. Her test was too soon to tell but maybe he would be able to get an accurate test result. That is, unless he acquired the virus recently and hadn't had it show up on a test or he hadn't been tested yet. Who knows, maybe he picks up women every night. Jeez, what the hell had she exposed herself to? She ignored the part of her that whispered she shouldn't judge; she, after all, had picked up a stranger so who was she to judge him?

She didn't really want to call him but she wasn't sure she could go through three weeks of uncertainty. At least if she called she might persuade him to get a test. If he was negative, her chances would look a lot better. If it were positive, though, her fate would look pretty sealed.

This uncertainty was driving her crazy. She went to her phone and looked up his number before she could lose her nerve. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the countertop as she waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"David? Hi, it's Sam. From a few weeks ago." She cringed. This situation seemed a lot more embarrassing now that she was having to explain who she was to a man she had just had sex with.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well…" she hesitated. How should she phrase this? If she said the wrong thing and she could seriously freak him out. If he started to freak out then she would probably lose her composure. "I went to my doctor today and had a test." Better to just jump in. "It was inconclusive for HIV."

She listened for a response but he didn't say anything. "I have to go back in a few weeks for another test. It could just be something else messing up the test. But I'm wondering if you've had a test recently?"

"No," he finally answered. "I didn't think I needed one. I haven't felt sick lately."

She closed her eyes as if she could protect them from his blinding ignorance. "You might not. You can have it for years and not know."

"Oh."

"Yeah." There was an awkward pause. "Listen, you should really go have a test done. Just to be safe."

"Alright," he reluctantly agreed. She could tell he was doing his best to absorb this new information. "I'll go when I can. Probably Monday since tomorrow is already Friday."

"Great. So… let me know how it goes?" Sam asked.

"Of course. I'll talk to you later then, I guess."

"Yeah."

"Alright, bye." Wow this was awkward.

"Bye," she responded before pressing the end button on the weirdest phone conversation of her life.

SG1

SG1 ended up going off world for the next couple days. SG4 was supposed to be doing a survey on an uninhabited planet but their scientist got the flu. SG1 was called in to replace them.

In a way, she was glad. Having something to do was taking her mind off of her situation a little. At the same time, she knew she wasn't acting like her normal self. She had the feeling the guys were talking about her behind her back. Sometimes she would catch Daniel looking at her from across the fire or over the equipment but he would always look away when she caught him.

She felt a little guilty, too. In a way she felt like she was keeping a huge secret even if there was nothing to tell yet. The colonel would crack a joke and smile at her and she would laugh for a moment before remembering. She couldn't help but wonder if he would feel differently about her if he knew what was going on. Would they react with horror? Think less of her? Think she was stupid?

Of course they would she realized. I think I'm stupid, too.

It was almost a week before she was able to get home and by that time she was both dreading and looking forward to hearing from David. She hoped that he would have news that would prove all her fears unfounded but realized it was possible that her hopes were about to be crushed.

Sure enough, 7 days after she had called him she heard back.

"My test was positive," David's voice sobbed into her ear.

Her hopes dashed, she finally realized something; this was really happening. Up until now she was thinking in terms of how her life would change if she were positive but she hadn't really believed it. But with David's positive test and her now three inconclusives (her blood work had been negative for everything but HIV, so at least that was something) her world was looking a lot less bright.

"I'm sorry," she told him.

"I don't know what to do," he told her. "How can this be happening?" He was still crying and it was making her uncomfortable. What could she do to comfort him? She wasn't qualified for this.

But then she realized that eventually this was most likely going to be her. If she were to tell any of her friends, she would want their support.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked him, trying to keep them both focused on the tasks at hand.

"He said I need to have bloodwork done. Another test to be absolutely sure and then something about some T cells. I can't remember everything. How am I going to tell my wife?"

Sam was pretty sure her heart stopped beating although it felt like ice was being pushed through her veins. "You're married?"

"Yeah. She doesn't know I go out."

Obviously. Sam doubted most women would tolerate their husbands sleeping around but then again, who knows?

"You need to tell her," Sam told him, keeping her judgments to herself.

"I can't!"

Her fury finally boiled over. She was mad at herself, this whole situation, but at this moment most of all she was angry at this cheating moron who had not only probably infected her but was putting his wife at risk, too.

"You need to!" Sam snapped. "What are you going to do, just not tell her and infect her? How is that right?"

"She's going to leave me." He sounded resigned and a little pathetic but it didn't stop the flood of anger rushing through her veins.

"Maybe she should!" Sam didn't even have time to feel bad about her retort because she was already plowing ahead. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later." She hung up before he could get a word in. Why did she say that? She didn't want to talk to him at all again but she couldn't completely undo a life's worth of being polite to people in one phone conversation. As mad as she was, she couldn't cut him out completely. It felt like she was in this alone but at least there was one other person who already knew what was going on. Even if she barely knew him, she clung to the one person who might understand.

Her phone rang in her hand. She picked it up without really looking at the caller.

"I'm sorry!" she immediately repented. Her fear of being alone in this terrifying scenario had her feeling contrite already.

"Um, Sam?"

"Daniel?" Oops.

"Yeah. Why are you sorry?"

"I thought you were someone else. Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Daniel! What's up?" She felt a little bad about shutting him down but she was reaching a point of emotional overload and wasn't sure she could keep her feelings at bay for much longer.

"Okay, well Jack wanted to have a get-together at his place this weekend. He says we haven't had some good barbecue in a while. I tried to remind him we never have good barbecue at his house but he just glared at me and told me to call you."

She felt warmth spread through her as she heard Daniel's recounting of his good-natured teasing. Daniel had been one of her closest friends for years, along with Janet and the rest of SG1. She was going to miss him.

What? What was that thought? She wasn't going anywhere. Was she? She was already assuming that her test results were going to isolate her from everyone and she wasn't sure if she was feeling that way because she'd probably have to leave SG1 or because she thought they would all turn their backs on her. They wouldn't, would they? Fear came back to her.

"Sam, you there? Do you wanna come?" Daniel's voice finally penetrated the chaos that her mind was becoming.

"I love you, Daniel," she blurted out. Great, now she sounded crazy. He was definitely going to think something was going on now. But she was latching on in her need for support.

"Uh, I love you, too, Sam." He hesitated for a moment. "Sam, what's going on?"

"Nothing," she shook her head despite the fact he couldn't see her. "I'm just… glad you're back from, you know, being ascended. And a barbecue sounds great. Saturday?" It didn't sound like fun at all given her mental state but she was trying to cover her sudden admission.

"I'm glad to be back, too. Yeah, Saturday. I'll tell Jack." He paused again, trying to figure her out but she remained silent. "Okay, well I'm gonna get back to translating."

"Okay."

"If I don't see you tomorrow, I'll see you Saturday." He knew something was going on. She had been acting strangely for almost two full weeks now but he didn't know why. He had briefly mentioned it to Jack but he had just waved it off and said she was probably just "distracted by some doohickeys." Daniel was getting the feeling that it was something much worse.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Alright. Sam? I really do love you. Whatever it is, it's going to be okay."

"Bye, Daniel." She needed to get off the phone now. Tears were starting to leak from her eyes but she did her best not to start crying outright. She was defenseless in the face of his kindness.

"Bye, Sam." He hung up with an unpleasant feeling. He wasn't sure but something was going on.

SG1

"Jack, something's going on with Sam," Daniel insisted. He hadn't seen her the day before and he came early to the barbecue so that he could talk to Jack. He felt a little bad, like he was betraying her confidence talking behind her back, which was ridiculous because she hadn't even told him anything. Plus, he really did just want to help her so it couldn't be wrong to seek out some help from another friend, could it?

"Daniel, we already went over this." He was losing his patience. Daniel seemed to think Sam was dying or something and just couldn't let this go.

"There is!" Daniel defended. "When I called her on Thursday something was definitely wrong."

"Alright, why do you think that?" Jack was giving Daniel a hard time but it was honestly because he was a little concerned himself. He just didn't want to tell Daniel that and worry him even more.

"She sounded strange on the phone. I asked her if she was coming and instead of 'sure, sounds great' she tells me she loves me!"

"She what?" Okay, that was a little unusual. Not that he doubted the sentiment- SG1 was close. But Jack just couldn't picture her bringing it up in casual conversation. Hell, Daniel had to "die" the last time before she brought it up.

"I know!" Daniel carried on. "I asked her what was wrong but she said nothing. I think she was crying when she hung up." He frowned.

"Maybe she is just glad you're back from the land of the glowing beings." Actually, that was possible. Well, of course she was glad Daniel was back. But maybe she was just remembering how much she missed him now that she had him back.

"You think?" Daniel skeptically asked. "It seemed like more than that."

"Well, she was kind of put out that you visited us and not her," Jack remembered.

"I did what?"

"You came to me, when you were ascended. I was being tortured by Ba'al, there were knives? It was a grand time. You came to help me ascend."

"I did?" What was he thinking? Jack wouldn't have been interested. It must have been bad for him to risk going to him and for him to think Jack would even try to ascend.

"Yeah, crazy right? That's what I thought. But you visited Teal'c too when he and Bra'tac were sharing that snake."

"Not Sam?"

"No. But maybe she was just upset that we didn't tell her, not that you didn't visit her."

Daniel frowned. Jack wasn't making him feel any better. In fact, he was making him feel worse because he was starting to convince him that whatever was going on with Sam was his fault because he didn't do that he couldn't even remember not doing.

Jack seemed to realize this. "Look, she'll be fine, Daniel. We'll just keep an eye on her, okay?"

Daniel nodded before he heard the knock at the door. Sam and Teal'c walked in a few moments later and the discussion was shelved.