Carol admitting at the end of the last chapter that she loved Daryl was just that. She loves him but there is so much that has not been said between them. She still believes that he agreed with Rick that she should be banished. She and Daryl need to take some time to talk, and the fates agree.

Time to Talk

It was still raining the next morning when the group assembled in the family room to make plans for surviving the winter. They made a list of thing things that had to be done to survive the winter. Food, fuel, clothing, medicines, and more had to be gathered. Wood needed to be gathered and cut into the right lengths. Snares and traps had to be built around the house and barn.

Carol felt a rising sense of optimism which she tried to tamp down a bit. She blamed it on having a good night's sleep in a real bed. Judith had slept through the night and the bad dreams kept away. They had a good house for their winter quarters and a strong group to defend it.

The meeting broke up and Daryl came over to her. "Ready to go for a run? Me and Morgan want to go on a run and look around a bit. We'll take Michonne to protect us and you to tell us what to do."

Carol found herself smiling at him. "You didn't say that you were going to listen". Daryl looked tired this morning and she remembered that he was sleeping in the basement with Eugene, Morgan and Elijah. "Eugene keep you up all night wanting a bedtime story?"

Daryl smiled at her, "Naw, he went right to sleep after a really long explanation of why cold fusion is a pipe dream. Who could sleep after exciting shit like that? Better get a coat; it is cold outside". He waited until she went upstairs and got her coat and they met Morgan and Michonne in the truck.

Michonne was driving and Morgan let them into the back seat of the truck. Michonne drove with her usual need for speed. Morgan held onto the door and said between clenched teeth, "Slow down or I am breaking your right foot". Carol and Daryl exchanged amused looks.

The town had broad streets and it almost looked normal except for the lurching gait of its remaining inhabitants. Michonne did slow down a bit, and she turned to Morgan, "We can see flesh eating monsters roaming the damn streets, but my driving makes you nervous?"

Morgan laughed, "I have some control over how I put down the monsters, but your driving, my dear, is a dare to the fates". He smiled at her and Michonne made a mental note to slow down a bit. Maybe there was more to look forward to in this life than she had previously thought. It was not in her to give up and opt out, but she had accepted that it would be a lonely life. She didn't feel lonely now in this truck. Daryl was like a brother, Carol a sister, and Morgan smiling at her made want to smile back. Michonne refused to define how she felt right now; she too was afraid to tempt the fates.

Carol believed that you encountered certain people in your life for some purpose. She would have met Ed not matter the circumstances of her life. She could have made that acquaintance short and moved on quickly, but she had been a slow learner. Loving someone doesn't mean that you allow them to hurt you. Sophia was the source of her greatest happiness and her greatest sorrow but she had emerged from that pain a stronger woman. Lizzie and Mika had broken her defenses down against loving and maybe that is why she could recognize that she loved Morgan, Michonne, and Daryl.

She loved them differently of course. Michonne was the funny sister that made her laugh but allowed her to cry on her shoulder. She didn't love Morgan in the same way. He was a man and there was always an element of that in how she felt about him. He was attractive to her because he combined strength with gentleness. Carol might have been in love with him in another life, but in this life there was Daryl.

Daryl had helped her get through losing Sophia and she had loved him for that and a thousand kindnesses that he had shown her. She had accepted that their relationship was not physical. Years of abuse of every kind with Ed had made her wary of a physical relationship anyway. Gradually as she got stronger she began to want more than friendship but she accepted Daryl on his terms. She loved him and thought that he loved her.

Daryl was different now. He had refused to follow Rick and last night he had been open about wanting to be with her. She didn't fully trust him to not revert back to his old ways, but desire so long denied was propelling her toward sex with Daryl. Maybe he felt the same way; maybe he didn't fully trust the Carol who could do those things that she had done, but he wanted her anyway.

Carol pushed those thoughts aside for now. She needed to focus on the job at hand; they were here to find supplies that the group needed. She would concentrate on that and keeping these three people safe on his run.

Michonne wanted to go to a clothing store and Carol agreed. They all needed warm clothes and boots. Morgan and Daryl rolled their eyes, but they found a chain department store hooked onto a strip mall. Morgan and Daryl went in first and made certain that the entrance to the mall had been chained off. The mall must have closed down and locked every entrance when they found out when they found out what was going on in the rest of the world.

Daryl and Carol had went "shopping" around the parking lot for an extra truck. There was one he liked parked haphazardly along the edge of the lot. The keys were still inside and Morgan had jumped it from the other truck. They parked both trucks close to the entrance and began to fill them with clothing from the store. Morgan and Daryl stayed at the entrance to knock back the walkers and Michonne and Carol worked together to find warm clothing for their group. They moved as fast as they could because the walkers were beginning to pile up outside. Carol found a crib and a mattress for Judith. They loaded it swiftly and they sped away from the hungry horde.

It was afternoon before they headed toward home. They had found supplies, but their trucks were loaded and they needed to be back in before dark. Morgan led their way home and Daryl followed. Carol was ready to go home and start dinner, and she noticed that Daryl was letting Morgan pull away from them. Daryl pulled into an empty church parking lot and turned the truck off. He stared straight ahead and Carol waited for him to talk.

"I ain't perfect. I fell apart when I came back and you were gone. I crawled in a hole and stayed there. Beth tried to drag me out, but I couldn't do anything right. She got kidnapped because I was too stupid to check a door before I opened it. I joined a group of men so evil that they made my skin crawl, but I stayed any way. I started crawling out of the hole when I saw you at Terminus. I can't stand to lose you again; I dragged you out here today because I want to keep you close to me." Daryl saw that a herd of walkers had blocked off the street of walkers ahead of them and a quick glance behind showed enough walkers to close off an exit that way.

He started the truck quickly and pulled close to the church. Carol saw what was happening and grabbed her run bag. They ran up the slippery steep church steps and found that the door was unlocked up at the top. They burst in prepared to fight walkers but the sanctuary was empty. The steel doors had bolts that locked it in place. The church had been built well off the ground and Carol moved to a window and saw that the windows were too high for a walker to get in that way.

Daryl moved to the back part of the church. There were restrooms there but the classrooms and kitchen must be in the basement. There was a "Do Not Enter" message written on the stairwell door and he heeded the message. It was quiet though so whatever was there was no longer a problem. The handicapped side entrance had been bolted shut and he could see that the ramp had been dismantled.

Carol followed him, "It looks as if someone used this place for as a refuge, but maybe moved on. The left the front door unlocked though. Did you see what is written on the wall?"

Daryl shook his head, and he went back to check the front door. He could hear the dull thumps of the walkers falling off the steps and the landing. It had been slippery and there hadn't been a railing. Someone had neatly printed a verse from the Bible on one of the long side walls, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1.

Carol released a breath. "We might be here a while. I am just thankful that some good soul left this refuge for us. The restroom has stored water in it so that we can flush the commode. I hope Morgan and Michonne don't come back and get caught up in this mess."

"I told Morgan that I wanted to talk to you for a while and that we would get back late. I don't think they'll be back tonight because the days are so short now. The walkers may wander off anytime and then we can go home." Daryl moved to a window and saw that the walkers were still milling around the truck.

Carol sat down on the padded pew. The place was dusty as if no one had been in here for a couple of months. She glanced at the sun and knew that it would be dark in a couple of hours. She and Daryl might here for the night. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. This could have been disastrous but there was this refuge right where they needed it.

Daryl swept checked the locks again. The walkers seemed less interested in trying to climb up the slippery steps now. There had been a strong smell out there that he didn't recognize and he wondered if it repelled the walkers. He saw Carol sitting there and he willed himself to go over and sit beside her on the pew. She hadn't said anything about what he had confessed just before they got swarmed. He didn't know if he should say anything else.

Carol glanced at Daryl. She had been thinking about what he had said to her right before all this happened. "I fell apart when I came back and you were gone….. I can't lose you again…..I want to keep you close to me". He had said other things too, but maybe they weren't as important as admitting to her how much he cared about her. There were things that she needed to tell him too.

The afternoon sun lit up the room in a warm soft haze and she reached out her hand and took Daryl's. "Let's talk to each other. I want to keep you close to me too."

Daryl slid closer to her, "I love you. Rick told me what you did and I couldn't take it in. I want you to talk to me about it. It don't matter what you say because I will always love you, but I don't want you to bear this alone."

Carol talked about coming into David's room as he struggled to breathe. He died not long after she came into the room. She had put him down and went into Karen's room. She was choking as blood began to flood into lungs. There was blood pouring from her eyes and every orifice and she was suffering. Her body was shutting down and she was near death. Carol admitted that she couldn't bear to watch and there was nothing she could do to ease her suffering except put her down. She had shown Karen the knife and Karen had nodded. Carol said that she burned the bodies to reduce contamination and because she had been overwhelmed with guilt after she had done it. She should have gone to Dr. S and had him take care of Karen, but she thought she could handle it.

Daryl listened carefully. He held her hand and knew that she needed him like he needed her. Carol admitted that she had been cold when she talked to Rick, and that she thought that he might kill her. Instead, he banished her and she had accepted it because she had killed Karen.

Daryl thought that was all she had to say but she began talking about Mika and Lizzie. Daryl could hear the unbearable pain in her voice as she told what Lizzie had done and what she and Tyreese had decided must be done to keep Judith alive. They cried together for her lost girls and somewhere in the middle of Carol's story he had come to realize how much she had been hurt by this. He wasn't there to hold her hand then, but he promised himself that from now on he would be.

Daryl told Carol about his experiences during their separation. It was hard for him to admit the depth of his emotional collapse. He had acted like an ass to Beth and his stupidity had hurt her. He told the truth no matter how bad it made him look. He owed her honesty. She had been honest with him.

They talked until the long shadows turned to darkness. There were less walkers out there but it was too dark to try to make it home. They found a blanket in a closet and huddled on the pew and talked some more. Their voices low against the empty night. Solemn promises were made in that place that would bind them together for the rest of their lives.

They went to sleep in each other's arms and slept for a few hours before the first rays of sun showed an almost empty parking lot. Carol put everything back neatly. This was a sanctuary and they had not violated it last night. They had spent most of the night talking.

This morning they had said their vows in the empty sanctuary. They had found some paper in the pastor's small office and sat down together to compose their vows. They stood in the empty church and Daryl read his vows to Carol, "I promise to love, honor, respect, and cherish you all the days of my life. I will provide and protect you as a faithful loving husband. I make these promises to you and to God in His house. "

Carol smiled at her almost husband, "I promise to love, honor, respect, and cherish you all the days of my life. I will provide and protect you as a faithful loving husband. I make these promises to you and to God in His house".

Daryl smiled, "I think I get to kiss the bride". They kissed so passionately that Daryl looked up and said, "Sorry about that". Carol grabbed their run bag and Daryl undid the locks. They ran to the truck and it obligingly started.

They met Michonne and Morgan on the street as they pulled out. Daryl kissed her again and said, "Ride home with Michonne. Me and Morgan will be along in a little bit. Tell Michonne because I am going to tell Morgan. I do love you, Carol. Please be safe".

Carol shook her head, "Nine lives remember. Love you too." Michonne drove the truck Daryl had driven yesterday while Daryl and Morgan took Morgan's truck on a run.

Michonne laughed when Carol told her the news, "Does this mean that Daryl is no longer a cellar dweller? He gets to move up to the high rent district upstairs? Oh, shit who is going to break the news to Eugene? He was really worried last night when you two didn't make it home. I figured you two had found a sleazy motel that didn't require a credit card and were doing the long overdue horizontal rumba. That is what normal horny people do. "

Carol said, "I think he just wants out of the basement, but I might as well enjoy having a boy toy around. Just call me Carol Cougar."

Michonne laughed so hard that she almost ran off the road. She settled down after that. Daryl Dixon would not take kindly to anyone who put his wife in harm's way.

AN

Gotcha. No one saw that coming. Me either, but it felt right. These two need to be together and I have always suspected that Daryl would want to be married to Carol.

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