A/N: A few people have wondered about whether Sam will be healed by alien tech. I'm not sure yet. It's extremely possible that that could happen but I don't think Sam would ever dare ask for it or feel deserving of it. I also think she's in such a state of shock and disgust that the thought has not yet occurred to her. Rest assured, it will occur to other people and be discussed.

The next few weeks passed fairly uneventfully. Colonel O'Neill still hadn't found a replacement for her on SG1 and so the team spent a lot of time on base. Daniel especially seemed to be making time to see her and often worked on a translation in her lab by bringing a couple of books and sitting at a desk out of the way. She appreciated it.

She'd actually gone on several more dates with Pete and was enjoying herself. Her enjoyment was still tempered by the fact that she would soon need to tell him of her status but she couldn't help but like his company.

He was funny and nice and she could tell he was beginning to care about her. She was enjoying the attention and did like him but was still trying to let go of Colonel O'Neill. She knew she needed to but it was so hard. She couldn't make herself stop caring just because she willed it so.

A traitorous voice whispered in her head that she could have him now. She was, after all, no longer directly under his command. He was still senior to her but she now reported directly to Hammond. But then she remembered her status. It was unlikely he would want to be with her and even if he did she couldn't bear to see the disappointment in his eyes when he learned of what a colossally stupid mistake she'd made.

Telling Pete would be hard but she could do it. Seeing the disappointed look on the colonel's face was not something she was willing to do. She cared too much what he thought of her to risk losing his respect.

SG1

She couldn't put it off any longer. Pete pulled back from kissing her and gave her a smile. She tried to reciprocate but her nerves were starting to affect her motor functions.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She pulled back completely. "I need to talk to you about something. Will you come inside?"

He nodded and she could see that he was concerned. She led him in and sat down with him at her dining room table.

"I would rather you didn't tell Mark," she prefaced.

"Um, alright."

She tried to remember all the stories she'd read online and how she had rehearsed this little speech. "I care about you and there's something you need to know. I have HIV."

"You… what?" Pete asked, a bit shocked.

"I'm HIV positive," she repeated.

"Uh, wow."

He added nothing else and she began to get worried. She felt her heart rate pick up. "I understand if this is a deal-breaker for you," she began to babble. "But it's something you need to know and I'll really understand if you don't want to see me anymore." He stayed silent and she felt tears began to rise.

"I'm not sure what to say," he said. "I really like you," he added.

"I like you, too," she whispered.

He reached out and put a hand on hers where it sat on the dining room table. "But I'm not sure if this is something I can handle." He removed his hand.

A few tears broke free and she looked miserably down at her lap. She felt the sobs beginning to form in her chest and tried to keep her composure. Tears began to pour from her eyes and if she could have spared a breath she would have sighed in frustration. She seemed to cry at the drop of a hat now.

Pete felt horrible. He really did like her and it physically hurt to see her so upset. He scooted his chair so that they were beside each other and pulled her into a hug. He waited for a few moments and she seemed to gather her composure a bit.

He pulled away and watched as she wiped at her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay. Let me do some research on it. I like you and I want to make an informed decision."

"I understand," she told him.

Pete stood up. "I'll give you a call soon, okay? I promise." It felt a little wrong to leave after that but he really needed some space to absorb what he just heard.

Sam nodded and watched as he left. She went to bed, too emotionally exhausted to be conscious any longer.

SG1

Pete kept his word. He'd done his research and looked at the situation from all angles. In the end though he had decided that it was something he wasn't able to deal with. He apologized profusely. It would have almost been easier if he'd been a jerk about it. At least then she would have realized he wasn't anyone she'd want to be with anyway. The fact that he was so nice about it just reinforced the fact that she'd lost out on a good man who'd cared about her simply because of her infection.

It sucked. The situation doubly sucked because she finally needed to be put on medication. General Hammond had kept his promise too and determined that she needed to go to the Academy hospital if she wanted to keep this out of the base. So after some routine bloodwork and discussion with her doctor she was put on Stribild.

She was nauseous and tired but otherwise the medication wasn't too horrible. It was only 1 pill a day so it wasn't even very inconvenient. It was just that Pete's rejection and the beginning of her treatment seemed like a slap in the face that served as a reminder of her condition.

Any progress she was feeling she'd made after telling General Hammond was gone. She was a fool for thinking this was going to have a happy ending. Pete had rejected her. He'd felt bad about it, but she couldn't blame him. No one would want to risk a potentially deadly and dangerous infection when there were plenty of other fish in the sea. She couldn't see how anyone would ever want her again. To make matters worse, Colonel O'Neill was going to have to choose a replacement for her soon. She'd then have to deal with watching her friends go off without her.

She'd lost her position on SG1 and any chance of going through the gate ever again. She'd lost any chance for a romantic partnership. She always thought that when she was established in her career and the timing was right she would have a family. Obviously that wouldn't happen.

Her situation was beginning to feel hopeless again. Her friends would soon forget about her when they returned to going off world. Even if they were around she felt less than before, like she was unworthy of their friendship. It might be irrational but she truly felt like they no longer knew the real her. It was her own fault for not telling them, but how could she when the shame would be so great?

She was barely getting by. She took her meds and went to work but she wasn't doing much else. She was losing weight and not sleeping. She no longer had to go for physicals as she was not on an SG team but she had a feeling the others were beginning to notice her haggard appearance. She just didn't have the energy to care anymore.

SG1

Captain Audra Capaldi was eventually selected to replace her on SG1. Even thinking about it was almost enough to send her into a jealous rage.

Capaldi had everything Sam was now lacking. She was very young as she had only recently been promoted to Captain and had graduated early from high school. The woman was also brilliant, which was what had earned her the spot on SG1. She had graduated at the top of her class and had been working on the gate technology after her graduation. Sam grudgingly recognized that she was qualified but couldn't help feel like perhaps Colonel O'Neill hadn't been impressed by her credentials so much as her appearance. Audra was easily one of the most attractive women Sam had seen in the Air Force. She had thick dark hair that she chose to keep long but tied back and bright green eyes. Factor in her relative youth and the fact that she had her spot on SG1 and Sam was feeling irrationally jealous. The conversation she was having with Daniel certainly wasn't helping.

"The leader hated Jack. Thought he was condescending. But he took one look at Audra and started catering to our every demand," Daniel laughed.

"I'll bet," Sam grumbled.

"Hmmm?"

"Please, Daniel, you're not blind."

"Well, no, you just seem… especially mad about it."

"I'm not mad," Sam argued. "I just think it's a little strange that of all the people Colonel O'Neill could have chosen for SG1 he chose the one person who could double as a model!"

"So this is about Jack." Daniel didn't miss the slightly deranged look of jealousy on her face.

"No! This is about the fact that he would choose teammates based on looks." Okay, that was mostly a lie. Mostly she just felt threatened by the woman, especially when it came to the colonel. Not that it mattered anymore. She didn't have a shot in hell now with her infection.

"Sam, you know she's qualified. And I'm sure that's why Jack chose her."

Sam deflated, weakened by her mental reminder of her status and the fact that she was being petty and knew it. In fact, Captain Capaldi had been nothing but inordinately respectful towards Sam. She was constantly asking Sam questions about the gate and other technologies, fascinated by Sam's experience and knowledge. And here Sam was being catty. She felt bad especially since she herself had had people question her own qualifications due to the fact she was an attractive female officer, like she couldn't be attractive and smart at the same time.

"I know."

"So what's going on then?" Daniel persisted.

"I guess I'm just annoyed she gets to take my place going through the gate," she admitted.

"I thought you wanted to be off SG1?"

"Right," she winced. "I'm just feeling a little replaced."

"No one could replace you, Sam." Daniel's sincerity warmed her heart.

"Thanks, Daniel," she smiled.

"Why don't the five of us get together?"

"No," she immediately responded.

"Why not?"

Because acknowledging the woman was smart and deserving was a big leap from interacting with her voluntarily. She still hated her a little, fair or not.

"I'm sure Captain Capaldi has better things to do. And it's not fair to her to have me there. You guys are her team now and she needs to bond without me getting in the way and making her uncomfortable," Sam reasoned. That was actually mostly true.

"She asks about you all the time, Sam."

"Still no, Daniel."

"Alright. But if you change your mind…"

She wouldn't. "I'll let you know."

SG1

It was harder than she thought it would be. With a fourth member SG1 was back on the mission rotation and was gone more often than not. She started seeing less of her former team and when she did see them they had less to talk about. Sam could only stand hearing so much about their missions before she started feeling left out and the team had only limited interest in Sam's own projects.

In a strange turn of events it was Audra who Sam started to spend more time with. While the rest of SG1 had little interest in alien devices, Audra was intrigued to no end. When not off world she had taken to spending more time assisting Sam with whatever was happening in her lab. The woman loved to learn and was determined to be as helpful as she could to SG1 and the SGC. It also helped that Audra was the only one Sam had not known before her infection. Looking at the rest of SG1 was just a reminder of what she'd lost. But Audra was just a new member of the SGC eager to learn.

Sam resented her presence at first but eventually thawed to the woman. The captain was one of those people you just liked no matter how much you tried to hate them. Not that Sam was trying. Maybe a little.

Capaldi was compassionate and intelligent. Sam had come to value her help, even, after the first couple of weeks. The two had even struck up a friendship of sorts. Sam was superior to her in rank but Capaldi reported to Colonel O'Neill. She'd finally succeeded in getting Audra to stop calling her "ma'am" every sentence and Audra was starting to chat with her about more personal things while waiting for experiments to run.

"We went to dinner," Audra informed her.

"How was it?"

"It was fine. Until I realized it was never going to work because I spend all my time working for a top secret government organization and travel to other planets."

"Yeah," Sam empathized. "That could be tough."

"How are any of us supposed to make a relationship work when practically everything about our lives is classified?"

"I don't know," Sam told her. "Just… try to find someone you have other things in common with, I guess." Sam was probably the last person to give advice but she tried anyway.

"Right," Audra sighed, turning back to look at the simulation.

"Just don't give up," Sam advised. It was suddenly very important to her that at least one of them had some kind of successful relationship. "It's hard but it'll be worth it. The work we do is great but it's not everything."

Audra considered her words before nodding. "You're right, Major. Thanks for the advice."

Sam nodded. Well, at least Capaldi would have a life. Sam would just have to stay in the lab for the rest of her life.

SG1

Jack wandered through the control room on his way from the commissary. Captain Capaldi trailed behind him. He could admit that she was a good officer, but she wasn't Carter. Her presence just served to remind him of the fact that Carter had left her position on SG1.

And for what? She had said she wanted to get a life but he didn't actually ever see her leave.

"Captain?"

"Yes, sir?" Capaldi's bright young face shined up at him, eager to please. That kind of reminded him of Carter, too, when she'd been a Captain and new to his team. She'd lost her youthful enthusiasm over recent years and he was sad to see it gone. Especially lately.

"You've been helping Carter in the lab, right?"

"Yes, sir. Well, I've been spending time in there. She's mostly been explaining things to me."

Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That's great. Has she mentioned… anything?"

Audra went to answer but realized she had no idea what he was talking about.

Jack saw her confusion. "I mean, does she talk about her life outside of the base?"

"I wasn't aware she had one, sir," Audra frowned. "Am I missing something here?"

"No," Jack sighed. But I think we are.

Suddenly the gate started turning and the appropriate alarms began blaring.

"It's the Tok'ra, sir, ma'am," the sergeant on duty told them.

"Open the iris," Jack ordered.

They looked on as Jacob made his way through the event horizon. Jack turned and made his way into the gateroom, Capaldi on his heels.

"Jacob! How are the Tok'ra?"

"Hey, Jack. Always a pleasure." Jacob's eyes drifted to the brunette who was practically bouncing at his side in excitement.

Audra saw his gaze to her. "General Carter! It's a pleasure to meet you, sir!" She saluted. "And Selmak, too, of course."

Jacob gave a half-hearted salute and looked to Jack.

"This is Captain Audra Capaldi," Jack told him. He realized that Jacob had no idea what had been happening with his daughter. That was going to be interesting.

"Hello, Captain," Jacob nodded. He shook off his confusion. "Where's Sam?"

Jack shifted. "Captain, go tell Hammond and Carter that her father's here."

Capaldi gave an affirmative response and rushed off to Sam's lab.

"What's going on, Jack?"

Jack waved at him to follow as he headed up to the briefing room. "Carter transferred off SG1."

"She did? Why?"

"Said she wanted more free time."

Jacob didn't get a chance to respond as Sam and George walked into the room. He was immediately surprised at how Sam looked. She looked… bad. He couldn't put it into words. She just looked worn down. Fragile, too, like she'd lost all her muscle tone and would fall over if he nudged her.

"Hey, Dad," Sam greeted him, coming to hug him.

Geez it felt like she'd lost weight. He could feel her shoulder blades digging into his hands.

"Hey, kiddo." He pulled back after a moment and nodded to his old friend. "George."

"What's this I hear about you transferring, Sammie?" He looked down into her eyes.

"Dad…" she began, shaking her head. He'd seen that look before, usually given only when she was starting to get annoyed at him for being overbearing, as she called it.

"I'm just asking, Sam." She didn't look like she was going to give him anything.

After a pause George spoke up. "What brings you here, Jacob?"

"Actually, nothing Tok'ra related. I just thought I'd spend some time with my favorite children." He looked at Sam and grabbed her hand. "Can you spare some time for your old man?"

Sam was completely taken off guard. "I'm not sure, Dad. I'm running some pretty important experiments." She didn't miss the scrutinizing look Colonel O'Neill was giving her. This whole thing was unexpected. She was closer with her dad now but she was still surprised he would take time off to visit her.

"Maybe you should go see Mark, Dad. Hailey's birthday was last week and I'm sure she'd love to see you."

Jacob exchanged a look with Jack. "I'll call him."

"Well, it's good to see you, Jacob," George said. "I'll leave you guys to it."

They watched as General Hammond returned to his office. Jack also said his goodbyes and left, sensing the tension in the air and hoping to avoid it. He had a feeling Jacob was going to have a lot of questions.

SG1

Jacob didn't just have questions. He interrogated his daughter. She surprisingly didn't even get mad at him, though, which made him wonder even more what was going on.

She insisted that she wanted to pursue a life outside the SGC. He supposed it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. As much as he still thought of her as his baby girl, he realized that she was starting to "advance in years." Not that she was old, but she was past the age when most people started families.

But there was something in the way she'd talked to him. She spoke of getting a life and yet her tone seemed resigned, like she was bored. Plus, she wanted to get a life but was too busy to spend time with him? Maybe she wasn't so busy, though. She did tell him that she would like to have him over for a few days before he went to visit Mark.

Maybe he was seeing things that weren't there. He'd have time to figure it out, though.

SG1

"I just don't understand why you'd leave SG1," he argued.

"Dad," she groaned. This was turning out to be the longest three days of her life. "I would think you'd be happy I'm not in so much danger."

"I am! But I thought you loved your job."

"I do, Dad. But there's more to life than work."

"So are you seeing someone?"

"Dad!"

"What? You tell me you want more from life and I'm not supposed to ask how it's going?"

Sam sighed. At least he'll be harassing Mark tomorrow. She curled her legs under her on the couch. "I went on a few dates. It didn't work out."

"What about Jack?"

"What about him?" She wasn't liking where this was headed.

"You know what, Sam."

"I don't, Dad."

"I see how much you both care about each other. You're not under his command anymore…" He admitted to himself, and Selmak, that although at first the idea of Jack and his daughter had disturbed him, he had warmed to it in recent months. He knew Jack had some skeletons in his closet, but he thought deep down that Jack was a good man. He couldn't imagine anyone who he would trust more with his daughter.

"There is nothing between Colonel O'Neill and me," she firmly stated. "Maybe there once was, but not anymore. We've both moved on."

"Have you? Is that why you've been off the team for weeks and only been on 'a few dates'?"

"I got caught up in some experiments recently, that's all." Sam stood up and looked at the clock. "It's late, Dad. We should both go to bed so I can take you to the airport tomorrow."

Jacob knew an escape attempt when he saw it but let it go. He knew he wasn't going to get any further and it actually was late. "Alright, Sam." He put his hand on her shoulders and leaned down to give her a kiss on her cheek. "I love you. I just want you to be happy."

Sam smiled at him but her eyes remained dull. "I am happy, Dad."

What a lie.

SG1

Sam laid awake for a long time that night. Knowing her Dad was in her spare bedroom, her thoughts focused on him.

He'd been rather easy on her, actually, considering how terrible she knew she must look. Her team- former team- had actually not commented on her weight loss and general fatigue. Either its gradual nature or the fact they spent so much time away from her meant they had not noticed it. Or they had and had chosen not to comment. That thought hurt.

For her dad, though, the image must have been startling. She had to give him credit for not questioning her further. Although he had certainly questioned her on what she wished he hadn't; namely, her removal from the team and Colonel O'Neill. The loss of her team and any chance with the colonel were too painful to think much about.

She hated to think of what a disappointment she was to her father. If he knew what she'd done he would be disgusted. Not only had she acted like a stupid slut, but she had also lost her position on the team for being such an idiot.

She loved her dad but more than anything she just wanted him to go away so she could continue her misery in peace.

Also, don't worry. I am not a fan of OCs and Audra will not frequent the fic. But you can't bring in a new team member and not mention them at all.