Author's Note:

Anyway, a large part of this chapter had a very early draft of it written before the second chapter of this story was written. (The argument in that draft was a lot of fun to write.) I've completely rewritten this chapter, though, so there isn't as much of an argument, or at least not one that requires Calming Draught. Obviously I had a very strong idea of where I wanted a point in this story to end up. However, this is almost as far as I've gotten with my planning, aside from a few small ideas, as well as what the next chapter will focus on. Otherwise, I have no idea what's going to happen after this. I've always appreciated ideas that you all have given me while you've been trying to figure out what's going on with either of the boys, and I'd appreciate any ideas now more than ever. It can be about anything, not just Harry and Draco.

Since the Slytherin dormitories are never very well explored in the books, I don't know if the Slytherin students have their own rooms or not. Personally, I like to think that Salazar Slytherin would have designed them to be that way so his students would have more privacy when they're planning things, so in this story all of the Slytherin students have their own rooms.

Also, this story does have an M rating. This is the chapter that made it clear in my mind that this story couldn't have a rating under that. – If your mind just went to the gutter, please fish it out of there. There's something much deeper than a gutter in this chapter.

Chapter 21

Severus entered the Slytherin common room, ignoring the glances from his Slytherin students. Draco was missing from the room, and Severus began walking up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Not wishing to startle the fifth-year if he was busy, Severus gently nudged the door labeled 'Draco Malfoy' open a crack and was met by a startling sight.

Draco was lying on his bed, a silver knife poised right above his throat, blood dripping from the knife and the wrist holding it. Both of Draco's wrists had been cut, and although Draco's skin was already pale, it was now nearly transparent.

Severus shouted "Expelliarmus!" before Draco could make a cut to his throat, the silver knife flying to the other side of the room. Draco turned, wide-eyed, and made a desperate dash for the knife once he saw his godfather standing in the doorway. A well-aimed Incarcerous stopped Draco, sending him crashing to the green rug on the floor of his dorm room.

Professor Snape closed the door, cast a charm for secrecy on the room, as well as a locking charm on the door, and opened the lowest drawer of Draco's ebony desk. He'd spent enough time in his godson's dorm room over the years to know that he always kept spare potions in there. Severus grabbed a Blood-Replenishing Potion and turned to his immobile godson.

"Draco, I'm not going to ask you about what you were doing until after I've healed you, but you'd better have a good reason for what you were trying to do." Severus took out his wand and knelt beside Draco, the boy attempting to squirm away from him. Severus held his wand beside each cut on Draco's wrists, whispering "Vulnera Sanentur" each time; a Tergeo cleaned up the dried blood in the room. Once the cuts were healed, he poured the Blood-Replenishing Potion into Draco's mouth, closing it as he pinched the boy's nose, forcing him to swallow the liquid.

Severus lifted Draco onto the bed and picked up the knife from the other side of the room, sliding it into his robes so Draco wouldn't be able to use it again. He summoned a chair and sat beside Draco's bed, staring at him for a few long minutes while he let everything he had just seen sink into his mind.

"Draco, please explain yourself and your actions." Staring at the ceiling, Draco simply shut his mouth. "I won't let your parents know about anything we say right now. I've never told anyone anything you've said to me in confidence, and that won't change now." Draco remained silent. "That's fine. You can stay silent as long as you wish, but I'm staying here with you so you won't harm yourself again."

Ten minutes later, Draco's eyes glanced to the man sitting beside him. "You won't tell anyone?"

"What you say to me stays between the two of us. I am your godfather, and I care about you a great deal. I only ask for honesty from you, Draco. Take your time."

A few moments afterwards, Draco swallowed quietly before opening his mouth again. "Please untie me."

"Where's your wand?"

"Why? What do you want with my wand?"

"I simply want to have it in my possession so that you can't use it against me or against yourself. I'll untie you as soon as I have it."

Draco sighed. "It doesn't matter who has my wand; it won't work. I snapped it in half."

"Why would you do that?"

"I was afraid that if it was around and in working condition, I would try to use it in a desperate attempt to save myself once I'd lost too much blood to think straight."

"Draco, sometimes I really wish you weren't in Slytherin. Where is it now?"

"It's in the top drawer of my desk."

Severus crossed the room, opened the desk drawer, and pulled out the two broken pieces of Draco's wand. Glancing at the white eagle sitting on a perch by the window beside the ceiling in Draco's room, Severus grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill from Draco's desk, writing a quick note. He picked up a piece of ribbon from the desk and tied both the wand halves and the letter to the foot of the eagle. Severus opened the window and the eagle soared out of the room, flying steadily towards London.

"Now that your wand has been taken care of, I'll release you as long as you'll explain why you were slicing your veins open." Draco solemnly nodded as the ropes disappeared from his body and he sat up, rubbing his wrists.

"You won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you? Or about what I was just doing?" Severus nodded. "I mean anyone; you can't tell my mother, you can't tell my father, you can't even tell the Dark Lord."

"I would never tell them, especially the Dark Lord; he would just find a way to use it against you."

Draco nodded, seeming to be in thought, and then he crossed the room to a hidden compartment under his desk, where he pulled out a letter written on formal parchment. He handed it to Severus and sat once more on his bed.

Severus carefully opened the letter, glancing between the paper and Draco. What harm could a letter do to the boy? Unless it was cursed, all that could be used against him were words, and surely Draco was intelligent enough to realize that words couldn't hurt him. Of course, these thoughts fled from Severus' mind when he recognized the handwriting.

Draco,

As you are aware that someone near and dear to us returned to Britain
this summer, I will not go into the details you no doubt have heard of by
now. He is still rather weak, and he would like to meet with you over the
summer holidays. He needs all of the support he can get during this hard
time, and I told him that you would no doubt join him as he requests. After
all, we do owe so much to him already, and he will continue to aid us in
our goals in the future.

Due to this new development, the Parkinsons are meeting with me daily as
we are reviewing the betrothal contract between you and Miss Parkinson
in the hopes of having your wedding within the month after you graduate
from Hogwarts. I am sure our dear friend would like to see the two of you
wed, as well as any of my grandchildren the two of you will produce. It
would be such a shame if we couldn't allow him to see these delights in life,
wouldn't it?

Lucius Malfoy

Careful to keep all emotion from his face and his voice, Severus regarded his godson for a moment. "Draco, please explain to me what your thoughts are on these matters."

Draco spoke slowly, seeming to chose his words with the utmost care. "Well, I believe I've already expressed my opinion on my betrothal to Pansy to you."

"That you don't want to marry her but you can't find a reasonable way out of the contract?" Draco nodded. "And I'm sure you are opposed to them pushing the date of the wedding forward, as well as their hopes that you will produce an heir quickly."

"Yes, I know that Malfoys and other pureblooded families haven't married for love in at least a century, but I can't help but hope that somehow I'll be able to marry someone who actually means more to me than politics, money, and social status. Of course that won't happen, but I can't stand Pansy. Every time I spend time with her in the hopes of finding out something remotely pleasant about her, I just find her even more repulsive."

"And what are your thoughts on the first matter in your father's letter?" Draco fidgeted for a moment, tracing the light's reflection on his robes. "Draco, what you tell me will stay between the two of us. You can talk to me about anything."

Draco looked at the corner of his bed, away from Severus, as he murmured his response.

"What was that?"

"I… I don't want to serve him. He's cruel and vindictive. If he wins this war, the pain will never stop. His followers think that they'll gain power and luxurious lives, but the Dark Lord will keep using them for his own purposes and to keep order until they die. He's the type of man who wouldn't put his trust in anyone. How do we know that as soon as we've lived up to his expectations and tasks for us that he won't just cast us aside or kill us for his pleasure? If the other side wins, we'll be left to live our lives the way we wish, not under the tyranny of a madman."

Severus enveloped his godson in a hug, realizing that it may have been the wrong thing to do only when Draco tried to shy away from him. "You have no idea how proud of you I am right now, Draco."

"Proud of me? Why would you be proud of me? I just told you I practically hate the man that you call your master. Shouldn't you be running off to tell him this? Wouldn't he kill me or use me as a prisoner to torture at his will?"

"I told you that I wouldn't tell anyone about anything you tell me in confidentiality. Besides, if I ran off and told the Dark Lord about what you've just said I wouldn't be doing a very good job as your godfather. Believe it or not, Draco, but I do care about you. I'm a spy; I only pretend to serve the Dark Lord. I don't want you to serve him, either."

Draco looked up at the man who still had his arms around him. "Really?"

"Really. Now why were you trying to slice your veins open when you could have just come to my office and talked to me about your problems?"

"I thought it was the best option I had, and I still think that. If I die right now I won't have to marry Pansy and be miserable for the rest of my life. I also won't have to serve the Dark Lord, be treated like a puppet at his mercy, and hurt the state of our world any further. I don't see a way that I could possibly be happy in the future, and I don't want to keep living if I'll only be miserable."

Severus sighed and nodded in understanding. "Draco, I actually came here to tell you something. If you have a copy of the betrothal contract with you, I'll gladly take a look at it when I get the time to see if I can do anything to help you. From what you've told me about the contract, I don't think you could carry out the requirements on your end anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I believe I've finally figured out why your fingers become talons when you hold hands with her and why you started breathing fire when she kissed you."

Draco sat up straighter and looked at his godfather expectantly. "Well, what is it?"

"Come with me to my office; I'll be able to explain it better there. We'll look at that betrothal contract as well if you have one with you."

Draco stood up and walked to the secret compartment in his desk again, pulling out a rolled up piece of official parchment. "Let's go."