I don't think Stan and J are on good terms at the moment. Well, can't blame J. For some reason, Stan decided to take Wendy back, although I've been in South Park just long enough to know how much of a bitch Wendy is. Did you know Wendy launched a substitute teacher into the sun just because she thought said teacher was trying to steal Stan!? I'm not joking! Bebe told me about it! Well, I think I've made some good friends here myself, Karen especially. Whenever she needs comfort and can't find Kenny, she just comes over to my cave. Poor kid. Well, we spent the day yesterday using Karen's earth rock to have some fun. At one point, she made a life size sculpture of a dragon out of a tree, and we had fun pretending to be in a real life version of Skyrim. Speaking of Skyrim, did you know there's a kid here named Dovahkiin? For some reason, people call him Douchebag. I think Fatass had everything to do with that! Well, I brought Douchebag a sword and a dragon, and he refused to kill the dragon! Well, to be honest I just forced Kenny into a dragon costume, but still! Kenny says he's immortal and just comes back to life when he dies! What's the big deal!? I have gone WAY off topic haven't I? Well, I'm sitting in a chair while almost all of these Coon and Friends guys, minus Stan, enter. Humorously, Cartman's dressed up as a raccoon and locked in a cage. For some reason, Butters is locked in there too. I really doubt Butters could hurt anyone if he tried. Fatass however, is a different story.
"Okay, another new member has decided to join." Kenny said, beginning the meeting. Everyone looks at me, including J. I decide to be mysterious. Well, as mysterious as possible when J knows it's me.
"I am Dark Hawk." I say, disguising my voice. I think I creeped a few people out actually.
"Okay, does anyone have any ideas on how to avoid this psycho's plan for world domination?" Kenny asks. Ah, yes. J told me about how this crazy guy is trying to enslave everyone. I was just about to suggest using fatass as bait when Clyde spoke up.
"We could have another bake sale." Remind me to bitch-slap that kid when we're done here.
"I don't think raising money is going to do anything this time." Kyle said. "They don't need money to pay for anything until damage is done."
"We should fight." I suggest. "We actually have powers! The government has bombs and missiles!"
"We have no clue where he is!" Token decides to blurt out. "We can't fight him if we can't find him!"
"I know where he is! But I can't teleport us all there!" J blurts out. "I can send for of us, including myself."
"Who feels like fighting a crazy maniac?" Kenny ask. Both me and J raise our hands. "Who's mastered their powers enough that they won't get killed?" Kyle raises his hand. "Then I'll go too. The rest of you find Toolshed and get yourselves teleported to where the news will be talking about!" Next thing I know, we're in a completely different place, and there's a strange man starring at us in shock.
"Who the hell are you children!?" Oh! Free violence! I run up and punch the man in his stupid face, knocking him to the ground. Then I turn back to the others, and their faces just say 'Why?'
"What!? He's trying to take over the world, isn't he!?" Next thing I know, there's a sharp pain to the back of my head, and I'm suddenly on the ground near J. Okay, someone's going to get it! I sat up, and the guy's holding a gun to Kenny's head. Well, he's asked for a death sentence! God damn my head hurts!
"What are you going to do to help batkid?" The man asks us. Haha! Batkid!? That's actually pretty funny. I'll give him that, but I'm still kicking his ass.
"My name is Mysterion!" Kenny says. Then Kyle uses his rock to fly up behind the guy, punching him so he drops Kenny. Then J levitates him into the air and, deciding to have some fun, I conjure a hammer out of the air. Then I use it to bash him with it.
"What is wrong with you freaks!? Can't one guy take over the world without fucking super kids beating him to death!?" Now that you mention it….. NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Then there's a flash of blue light, and everyone else, including Stan and Gaz, are here. Gaz is dressed up as Captain Justice again.
"So what are we supposed to do now?" Clyde asks, you gotta admit, his voice is funny.
"Who the hell are you children!?" The man asks, pushing the hammer away.
"Why's it your problem?" J asks. "Aren't you more concerned with taking over the world? Or being hit with another hammer? Or supposedly the power drill that's right behind you?" She said as Stan levitated a power drill behind the guy.
"What drill?" The guy asked, turning around. Stan kept the drill behind the guy as J set him down.
"Where's the nearest mental asylum? Someone tape his mouth shut and hands together." Gaz used his rock to restrain the man with duct tape.
"Why don't we take them to the government instead?" Token asks.
"Canada, or the U.S.?" Bradley asks.
"U.S." I say. "They can do more torture to him than Canada can. Plus, he's wanted by our government, right?" J and Gaz teleport us all to the White House and we turn the guy in. Unfortunately, we can't have a reward since we're so young. Damn. Well, while we all introduce ourselves and get on TV, I'm just going to look at that picture of a missing kid. Hehe, that kid looks familiar- HEY WAIT A MINUTE! That missing kid in the poster is me! What the fuck!? If my parents want me back, then they should get on TV and say it themselves! Fuck them! I'm not going back to them! Well, after all that, we're teleported back to fatass's basement. I sigh and take off my mask, rubbing my eyes. The way Gaz is looking at me, he only just realized it was me. Well, we all start leaving, till it's just me, Gaz, Fatass, and Butters.
"Wait, Katy, you go ahead. I still have some business to take care of." Gaz tells me.
"Okay." I say, walking off. At least he didn't stutter this time. Pretty soon, I'm back in the forest walking to my cave. God, I need to lay down for a minute, I'm tired as-
*CRACK*
XXXXXX
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! Here I am walking through the forest when suddenly a tree branch falls and hits me on the head! It fucking hurt! Well, I stand up but something feels…. Off. I turn around. Oh shit. I can see myself laying on the ground! There's blood running down my head. I looked at my hands. I could see them, but I could also see though them! This isn't happening. I feel someone grab me, but I shove them off. This isn't fucking happening! This can't be happening!
"Katy! It's okay! You're not dead! You're having a near death experience!" Well, that calmed me down, but… That voice….. I turned around and there was a girl starring at me. She looked really young. Her eyes were a stunning blue, and her hair was a light red and tied into a ponytail. She had a pink coat, and dark blue snow pants, along with red boots. That girl…. I've never seen her before but…..
"S-Sophie?"