Rose was her mean, old self again on Saturday when one of them had to go into town and do a little grocery shopping. Edward didn't want to be the one to take on that dreadful task now that he had his baby back. He wanted to play and – of course – protect it from Emmett. He didn't want that clumsy oaf to break something or touch it with his sticky fingers... or God forbid, have him put a bear head on top of it. There was no way they would ever be able to get the blood stains out of the exquisite wood again.

But Rosalie did not see reason and now tried to assign the task to him, even though she knew full well that he had waited forever for his instrument to arrive. And it wasn't like she was busy at the moment and didn't have time to go into town - no, she was just being mean and lazy.

"Rosalie, give me one good reason why you refuse to go!"

"I always help around the house and do the stupid grocery shopping, it's your turn!"

"My turn? Have you lost your mind?! Who had to fix the entire living room with Dad last week because a certain someone ruined the walls? And who has to clean up after your newborn all the time, huh?"

"All the time, don't make me laugh - I am the one who is constantly busy. I help Esme every single day with the house and the garden and keep Emmett occupied while you dally away at school, doing absolutely nothing!"

"Keep him occupied, pah! You make it sound like it was hard work... you enjoy keeping him 'occupied'. By the way, since you work so hard around the house – how about you fix the cracks in my wall that you caused while keeping your husband 'occupied'?"

She gasped and her eyes blazed. "Excuse me? We are married, which means we are free to do whatever we want and I would appreciate it if you would stop spying on us!"

"It is not spying when the whole house is forced to hear your grunting and moaning! Even Carlisle and Esme think it's revolting!"

"Oh please," she snorted and rolled her eyes, "last year I caught them 'exploring their intimacy' in the kitchen like some horny rabbits, so don't you tell me they don't understand."

A look of horror appeared on Edward's face at hearing that, and when Rose gave him a beautiful picture of what exactly she had seen back then, he turned his head away and squinted his eyes shut.

Unfortunately that did not help to make the image go away, and he shuddered in disgust.

Thank God they didn't live in that house anymore... He'll never be able to see a white kitchen counter with the same eyes again... or oven gloves.

She raised one eyebrow and gave him a malicious and self-satisfied look before she crossed her arms over her chest and smiled sweetly. "Say Hello to Mrs. Jefferson from me when you buy a loaf of bread, dear brother."

"No, I-" he started to protest, but Rose just walked out of the room and mounted the stairs on her way to see Emmett. A moment later and the door to their room clicked shut and then all he could hear was the squeaking of the bed springs.

Aww, he didn't want to go into town, but he also didn't want to listen to that.

Rose was doing that on purpose just to gross him out of this house... hag.

Gritting his teeth in anger and annoyance, he picked up the little purse from the kitchen table and pocketed it before covering his ears with both his hands and quickly leaving the house through the kitchen door that let to their back yard.

A few hours later he returned and immediately realised that this must be his lucky day as these two animals were still going at it. He had taken his time and bought all kinds of groceries in town, but he obviously hadn't been gone long enough. Well, at least he had thought of getting a few romance novels that might be to his sister's liking to keep her from what she was doing right now. Romance was not his preferred genre and he wasn't sure if it would help him in this situation, but maybe it would serve to distract her for a while so she would quit spending all her time in her bedroom with needy Emmett.

Or it would only serve to give her new ideas... dammit.

Edward had been in the heads of many people and knew what love and lust could do to some... but these two were just unbelievable. Shouldn't they hunt more often after sessions like these?

And why would Carlisle and Esme leave him home alone with them? Yes, he had told them to go and not to worry... but they should have known better than to listen to him!

Crossing his arms over his chest, he glowered at the ceiling like that would somehow make them stop... it didn't work.

He groaned.

This must be some kind of eternal punishment for whatever crimes he must have committed in his human life.

Or maybe Carlisle was just trying to get back at him for everything he had put him through during his newborn years. But in comparison to Rose and Emmett, he had been a perfect angel so there was no need for Carlisle to be so mean!

In an attempt to keep his sanity, Edward spent the night playing his piano. He was concentrating on the music and blocked his siblings' thoughts out, and that way the night was more or less endurable for him. The next day he would just stay in his room and do his homework or read some, and then the day after that his parents would finally return home to bring some order into the house again.

He was definitely not a mommy's boy, but in situations like these he missed Esme terribly. Especially now that she was just as fed up with these newborn antics as he was... It was only a matter of time now until her patience would snap... and as soon as that would happen, Carlisle would have to step in and knock some sense into Emmett. And while he was at it, he could try and knock some sense into Rosalie as well...

But unfortunately the next day did not turn out as he had wanted it to, and so despite his plans of staying in his room and ignoring these two, Edward just couldn't take it anymore and left the house to go take a stroll along the river or buy some more reading material in town.

If Carlisle considered leaving him home alone with them ever again, he would personally behead a bear and put it in his parents' bed.

The time alone had helped Edward some, but when he came back from his walk and got closer to their house, he could hear his siblings argue.

"Emmett, no!"

That was Rose.

Wonderful, so finally the blonde hag would be fed up with her mate's idiocy as well. Was about time.

"But I like it." He could hear the newborn reply, "It's so soft and squishy."

Huh?

"Bring it back outside," she pleaded with him. "It's scared, Emmy."

"It just needs to get used to living in a house. It's not scared, just... shy."

"No, darling, I'm very sure the little critter is scared," Rosalie replied and she sounded a bit panicky.

Edward's jaw dropped when he took a peek into his sister's head and realised what exactly was happening inside. This inept little...

He burst into the house a second later and in the blink of an eye he was in the living room where Rose and Em were arguing about Emmett's latest find. "A squirrel?! You brought a squirrel into the house? Have you lost your mind?!"

"Don't yell at him!" the blonde vampire angrily shouted.

And as if that wasn't enough yelling in the house, Emmett also raised his voice.

"It's mine!" he exclaimed and pressed the tiny animal against his chest, almost crushing it to death in his stone-hard fist.

"Take it outside!" Edward bellowed and pointed with his finger in the direction of the front door.

But Emmett just shook his head petulantly and turned around, holding the animal even tighter to himself and still refused to do as he was told.

Edward could hear the squirrel's heart rate accelerate, then hear and smell it pass water in a panic. He really couldn't care less at the moment that his brother got peed on or that the critter was about to have a heart attack, as maybe that would teach the idiot that pets and vampires did not go well together. And besides, if he killed it now, then they wouldn't have the problem of it running free and defecating all over the place.

Emmett pushed the little animal into his other hand to wipe 'the weird squirrel juice' on his shirt, then continued to just stand there and pout at them.

Yep, someone would have a lot of fun washing that shirt for him... hopefully it would be Rose.

Rose's unspoken question of whether they could step out of the room for a second sounded in Edward's head and he shot her a furious glare before leading the way into the foyer where he leaned against the wall and folded his arms. Rose stood in front of him and just before she could even say a single word, he growled, "I'm so glad that Carlisle and Esme are coming back home today. I cannot endure yet another day with only you two."

Rosalie gulped, then quickly averted her eyes.

Wait a second...

"Rose, what-" And then his eyes bulged and he looked like he couldn't breathe. "A week?!"

"Ssh, stop yelling, would you?" she hissed and looked around to make sure her husband wasn't within ear shot. "I just needed a little more time to get that critter problem under control."

"And that takes a week? Are you out of your senses?!"

"Don't exaggerate. It's only a week in total." And in her head she added a loving 'idiot' to that answer.

Stupid, blonde... "I'm going insane with only you two."

"You've always been insane, and it's not like you're the one in charge here, so stop pretending you are suffering because of us. Be honest, Eddie, you're just grumpy because you miss your Mommy, aren't you? That's your problem, not Em."

A quick snap of the neck and then... argh. "What do you think is going to happen next, huh?! He just brought his first living creature into the house... tomorrow we'll have a few bears running around the kitchen and the day after that-"

She tzked. "No."

"No? Are you sure? I leave the house for one lousy hour and-" "Uh-oh."

Both Edward and Rose turned their heads to look in the direction the sound had come from. Emmett's 'Uh-oh' was the last thing any of them wanted to hear at the moment.

Edward's jaw clenched and he gave his sister an angry look – too bad that she didn't notice because she ran to the adjoining room to see what had happened.

Hopefully the sublime idiot had crushed his little pet to death, because then the problem wouldn't be a problem anymore. But maybe-

"Come back!"

-it had managed to free itself and was now trying to find a way to escape.

The newborn lifted the sofa up by one side, making the squirrel panic and run away again. Then he just let the piece of furniture drop back to the ground with a loud bang, making the floor quiver and sending the pillows flying, before he headed for the book shelf in the far corner of the room. He just pushed it to the side to look behind it, and Edward barely managed to catch it before it would fall to the ground and break in half. Still, while he was busy putting it back against the wall, the books fell out and tumbled to the ground, nearly squishing the squirrel that was now heading for the floor-long curtains.

Emmett was being Emmett and so he just ripped them off, one at a time – Rose could only save the last one from being thrown to the ground and getting trampled by her mate.

"Emmett, stop!" she screamed when his feet got tangled in the curtains and they ripped even further.

"Rosalie, chase it that way!" Edward called, which was immediately answered by, "I'm trying!"

She was indeed trying, but with Emmett constantly in the way, it was almost impossible.

Stumbling over antique books, Edward groaned when he heard pages ripping and saw them... turn black? "Why did you leave this damned ink bottle down here?!" he yelled at Rosalie. When Emmett had so unceremoniously dropped the sofa back to the floor, it must have somehow knocked it off the little side table. The shiny black stain on the table and on the floor underneath was yet another accident that Edward did not feel responsible for, but it infuriated him beyond belief. Additionally, the three of them, plus the squirrel, had now decorated the floor with black footmarks and smears and it was getting worse by the second.

Now the blonde tried her best to catch the little critter that she actually did not really want to touch – yes, squirrels looked cute, but they were also dirty forest animals, just like all the animals that lived outside...

"I want it back! Come here, little one!" Emmett called hectically, not liking it one bit that his fluffy friend was being chased around the room by his wife and his brother. He was convinced that they were scaring his new pet, and that the poor thing was really confused and desperately trying to get away from them and back into the safety of his arms.

If Edward wouldn't have been so busy with trying to keep the books and the furniture in the living room safe from Emmett's destructive power, he would have snorted at the newborn's dimwittedness.

"No, Emmett stop!" Rosalie yelled as she realised in which direction her husband was chasing his pet now.

The darned little critter had finally found his chance to escape. It bolted from the room and... right into the dining room.

"NO!" Edward shouted panic-stricken and hurried after the squirrel, closely followed by Rose and Em.

My precious...

And indeed, it headed for Edward's cherished baby grand. The boy stopped right in the doorway, and both Rose and Em nearly knocked him over as he had stopped so abruptly and was now blocking the doorway. All they could do was stare at him as he neither moved nor said a word.

He slowly raised his hands in a soothing manner, and his eyes showed raw fear as though the squirrel was pointing a gun at him.

"Ssh, ssh, I swear I won't hurt you and I'll personally take you outside, but please don't go near it...," he begged with the little critter that was dangerously close to his piano bench.

Edward didn't want to scare it even more - as though that was even possible. The poor thing's heart was beating like a jackhammer.

But naturally, the big oaf couldn't keep his mouth shut and as he yelled at the little animal to come back to him, it quickly chose the music instrument as the best hiding spot in the room, which only made Edward gasp and bite down on his fist.

"Edward, Edward, just go. Let me take care of this, go," Rose told him and tried to pull him into the foyer, but he stayed glued to the spot.

"Ssh, it... my baby grand... squirrel..."

"It's all right, wait outside. I will take care of it."

"I..."

Emmett just threw his brother over his shoulder and marched out of the house with him. "Rosie is catching my pet for me and you're just in the way, Eddie," he informed the bronze-haired boy that was currently too shocked to even say something.

Half an hour later and Rosalie emerged from the house and approached her brother, who was sitting on a lawn chair with his head in his hands. He was so worried, that he even feared to take a peek into his sister's head now to see what condition his instrument was in.

He assumed the worst.

"Calm yourself, Ed. Nobody died," Rose said and took a seat in a chair opposite him.

He looked up at her, his eyes dark and almost unreadable.

"Somebody or something should have died," he growled.

"Edward-" "Why do I always have to suffer for his or your idiocy, huh?"

"Excuse me?" she queried and cocked an eyebrow at him.

He shot up from the chair and took a step toward her.

"He brought a squirrel inside that ran away and hid in my baby grand. My. baby. grand. I could rip you both apart for that," he hissed while angrily pointing a finger at her.

"I break you in half before you even get the chance to lay a finger on my mate," she threatened, then slapped his hand away. While she was embarrassed that she hadn't managed to get the squirrel problem under control before her brother had arrived back home, she was still not going to let this little boy throw a tantrum and blame her for everything that had gone wrong on this day. "And your piano is fine."

"You cannot fool me. If I find a single scratch on that beauty, you will pay," he said through gritted teeth and slumped back down in his seat, keeping his eyes narrowed into slits and focussed on her.

"There is nothing wrong with it, I checked it and there isn't even a mark on it. And don't you dare threaten me."

"This should have never happened. It's all your fault, you are completely incompetent and-"

Now her eyes narrowed as well and she let out a sharp hiss to silence him before she would give him a piece of her mind. "Whose fault is it really, hm? You left me home alone with Emmett, remember? Besides, who was watching him when he brought bear heads into the house? Good job, Edward, really, I'd never be able to blunder as much as you do."

What a nerve! Just you wait, sister... "Do you want me to call Esme and tell her what's going on? I'm sure she'd appreciate to know how much effort you put into keeping her house clean."

She leaned back and crossed her arms. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," he shot back and for the first time on this day he smiled.

"I mean, you wouldn't, because you can't. You don't know the telephone number of the lodge."

After calling them, she had thrown the note away. That figures. "I can always pull it from your ugly head."

She huffed at being called ugly, but quickly caught herself again and countered, "So you want to tell Esme that you haven't been helping me with Emmett, and additionally ruin their little vacation? How could Esme ever deserve such a good, thoughtful son like you, Edward?"

Gritting his teeth, he snapped his head to the side.

She was right in a way... he would be in trouble if the squirrel was still in the house when their parents would come back. But just to get things clear – he actually didn't do anything wrong and so it wouldn't be fair if he got in trouble over this critter incident. Unfortunately Carlisle and Esme might not agree with him... oh, being the oldest sucked.

But if he would somehow manage to make Emmett bring it back outside, then there was no need to disrupt Esme and Carlisle's vacation and make them come back home.

He turned his head back around and saw Rosalie give him a smirk – a smirk that he would have loved to wipe from her face. She knew he couldn't do anything but to keep quiet about this... stupid, evil hag.

"But you make sure it won't go near my baby grand again, understood?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm your underling. Of course it won't go near it again. And Emmett won't, either."

"Good," he grunted, then pushed himself out of his chair. "I'll be upstairs."

Rosalie's jaw dropped when he just walked away. "Edward? Um, a Thank you would be quite nice."

He wasn't sure if he had heard right, but if he had then she had lost her mind. He stopped and looked back at her aghast. "Thank you?"

"You're welcome. Now come and help me clean up the living room."

"I already help you enough by not hurting you, Rosalie," he retorted, then headed for the house and his room.

Hm, not much Emmett but instead Edward and Rose bickering :-) ... well, what do you expect when you leave these two home alone with a newborn Emmy? Exactly. No clue why Carlisle and Esme thought this would be a good idea...

Thanks for reading and reviewing guys!