Seething with anger about her brother's brassiness, Rosalie re-entered the living room and took in the damage, then cursed Edward for letting her do all the hard work alone.

It grew apparent that there was quite a bit to do. Now that they weren't chasing after a nasty squirrel anymore, she could see what exactly had fallen victim to their attempts of catching the little rodent. With her hands on her hips she blew out a long breath and wondered if someone had damaged the room even further as she couldn't remember that it had been that bad. Well, chaotic and maybe a little messy, but not so dirty and destroyed.

At that moment, she was so incredibly relieved that she had told Esme to stay a little longer at the lodge and enjoy their vacation as all was well at home, because if they would come back to that, they'd all be dead. Well, deader than dead.

There was no way their parents wouldn't notice the damage or just believe them that it had been nothing but an accident and then laugh it off. Accidents happen, yes, but not so many at once.

Thank God her Em was upstairs now taking a bath... and giving his pet one as well. Hopefully he would drown that plushy rat and then then they wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. She just couldn't take it from him, his eyes shone with happiness at the idea of having a little pet, and since she figured he would soon realise that it wouldn't work out, he'd just bring it back outside where it belonged and forget about it. Or kill it or... grow bored with it.

Whatever it was that would make him see that they couldn't have a critter running around the house was fine with her, as long as it would be gone before Carlisle and Esme would step through the door. It wasn't so much that she'd be in trouble – because then Edward would be in trouble, too, and that was always a pleasure to see – no, it was about her mate. During the transformation Emmett had gotten his child-like innocence and curiosity back full force - quite disturbing actually, as it didn't match the average newborn-vampire characteristics... but her mate was one of a kind and she loved him more than anything in the world.

Maybe it was his strength and his height that he just hadn't turned into one of those growling and hissing newborns that were acting completely instinct-driven and felt threatened by anyone or anything. No, even during the change he had cupped her cheek and given Carlisle a smile despite the pain he had been in, and the moment his heart stopped beating, he sat up, took a deep breath and was immediately brimming over with life. He wasn't wary towards them or loathed them for having done this to him – he just accepted the facts and immediately came to trust them. Even Carlisle said that he had never seen someone wake up from the transformation and be so oddly at peace with the world and himself.

And maybe the fact that he was such an unusual and content newborn made Rosalie fear for her cheerful mate.

This time Esme would certainly not be understanding anymore but drag the newborn by his ear to the couch and then tan his hide. And then Carlisle would have to lay down the law as well, and Rose just didn't want that to happen to poor Em. He wasn't malicious or deliberately disobedient... he was just easily distracted.

It would stop in a few months when he would get used to these new impressions and this new life. Everyone dealt with the newborn confusion differently, and his body and mind had just chosen to... see this new world with the eyes of a child.

Fine with her, as long it would stop eventually and Carlisle and Esme wouldn't get mad at him over something that wasn't his fault. Newborns were wilful, but at least he was absolutely harmless.

She stepped further into the room and came to a halt in front of the couch. Chewing on her bottom lip, she tilted her head in thought. The pillows that had fallen to the ground and had been trampled by their inky shoes could be washed, she figured... but if she would indeed manage to get the ink stains out of the fabric again, she did not know. Maybe she should just sew new pillow cases, then tell Esme it's meant to be a surprise for her.

Yes, that would work, without a doubt. Esme loved redecorating the house, sewing and needlework - and she loved self-made gifts.

The curtains were a bit trickier, she realised, when she took a few steps over to the windows and picked up a thoroughly ripped one. No, washing wouldn't take care of that and sewing it back together wouldn't work because Esme would immediately see what must have happened with it. She could still say it had happened while she and Edward had been in a fight, but just like expected, Edward, the little sissy, was reading her mind and refused to help her.

"You can forget that!"

It's wonderful to have a baby brother who thought of nothing but himself and constantly refused to take responsibility for his own actions...

"It was your fault!" he shouted from upstairs, answering her thoughts that way.

"No, it wasn't!" she retorted angrily, then added in a less aggressive tone of voice, "Well, at least not all of it!"

Despite the fact that they were on completely different floors and there were at least two doors separating them, Rose could hear Edward snort.

What a sulky, little baby...

Seeing that they were getting nowhere with arguing over a distance, she let out a sigh, then started picking up the ripped curtains and folding them together after having examined them once more to see how much fabric she would have to buy in order to make new ones. Once that was done, she took a closer look at the table where the ink bottle had fallen over and spilled its content all over the table top and the floor. While they could just get rid of the stupid table, she was a little worried about the floor. She hoped the black ink hadn't seeped in too deep and she'd be able to somehow brush it out of the wood again... the little gaps between the floorboards would just be dark now, she probably couldn't do much about that.

So she went to the kitchen to get a bucket full of warm water and some soap, then grabbed a floor cloth and a brush and made her way back to the living room where she knelt down next to the biggest spot and set to work.

The time alone in his room had been just what Edward had needed. He was calmer now, especially since he knew that his piano was safe. The stupid animal was still in the house, but at least it was behind a closed door and its only chance of escape was through the open bathroom window. It would be fine with him if it managed to get away from Em and find its way back into freedom.

Rosalie was downstairs and now trying to get the living room – and hopefully soon the stained foyer plus the dining room – clean and presentable again. In her head she went through all kinds of possibilities how she could hide what had happened from Carlisle and Esme.

She wasn't planning on deceiving their parents... she just didn't want to disappoint them or make them regret having taken a week long vacation. They would never consider leaving them on their own for a couple of days again, and she didn't want their marriage to suffer.

And she wanted to protect her mate.

If their parents got suspicious, she could still shift the blame onto herself. The pillow cases and curtains were different, because she wanted to practice her sewing or just got the idea to redecorate their house. She got rid of the side table and put a new rug on the floor, because it would make the room look bigger... and if they realised that something fishy was going on, then she would say she dropped a bottle of ink and she hadn't caught it in mid-fall because she had feared to stain her clothes. An accident and a wrong reaction, nothing more. It could happen to anyone.

No matter what kind of questions they would ask in an attempt to find out what truly had happened, she would be able to answer them with a little fib and keep Em out of it.

And for that, she would really appreciate a little help from her brother.

Dammit, Rose...

Edward looked longingly back at the many books on the shelves in his room, before he realised just how much he wanted to play a few pieces on his baby grand at the moment. Begrudgingly, he shook the thoughts from his head and opened his door. In the hallway he could hear Emmett sitting in the tub talking to the half-drowned squirrel before he started to sing, and Edward failed to suppress the urge to shake his head at just how absurd the situation was. But Emmett was happy and he was occupied for a while, so he just sighed and walked down the hallway before he made his way down the stairs.

The sound of the brush being dragged over the wooden floo boards got louder the closer he got to the living room.

Apparently Rosalie was so focused on cleaning the floor, that she didn't even notice him entering the room, because when he knelt down next to her and took the brush from her hands, she looked up with a startled expression on her face and wondered what in the world had made him change his mind.

Neither of them said a word, and when Edward continued what Rosalie had started, she got up from the floor and went over to the shelves where she stocked them with the books that looked undamaged and made a pile of the thoroughly ruined ones by the door.

They worked in comfortable silence, together trying to knock the living room back into shape. Whatever couldn't be saved would need to be replaced or covered up - or just thrown out. They would somehow take care of it and shift the blame from Em to themselves.

A loud "No!" from the upstairs bathroom made both of them jump and stare at the ceiling, and just a moment later they heard squeaking, then a loud bang and then quick footsteps, before their heads whipped to the side to look out the window where first something really small and then something really big appeared to be dropping from the sky.

Rosalie gasped and hurried over to the window, closely followed by Edward who's eyes were at least as wide as his sister's at the moment.

A butt naked, dripping wet Emmett with foam in his hair was running away from the house, obviously chasing after a terrified squirrel.

Seeing that made Edward whimper, because he realised that now he would have to hurry after him, catch him and touch him while he was naked. A nightmare just came true...

"Why are you still standing there?!" Rosalie suddenly screeched from the doorway, and Edward just wondered how she had made it to the door so quickly without him noticing. "Come!"

He hastily shook his head in an attempt to get the image of Em's bare behind out of his mind again, which was pretty futile and silly actually, because soon he would be forced to see it again, and a lot more of him at that.

They ran out of the house and immediately into the forest as that's where Emmett had gone. The smell of lavender soap and Emmett hung in the air, and they just followed it.

It didn't take long until the runaway came into view. Rose immediately came to a halt and just watched in stunned disbelief as he climbed a high fir, making Edward stop right beside her and eye the newborn as well. For a second he confused him with a hairless demented monkey and let out a snort, but when Rose shot him a glare, he wisely decided against voicing his thought considering that his sister had no sense of humour and would more than likely try to hit him.

The newborn reached up and snatched something grey and chattering from a swinging branch above his head, then gave a whoop of joy and pressed it firmly against his bare chest.

When he turned around to make himself comfortable in the tree and enjoy the view, he noticed them standing there watching him. Immediately his face lit up and his eyes glowed with happiness. He waved one of his big paws at them while holding up his shaking and struggling pet with the other. "Found it!"

"Emmett," Rosalie called, "Emmett, come down!"

"But I can see our house from up here!" he exclaimed as he craned his neck to get an even better view of their cosy little home.

"Emmett..."

"Fine," he breathed, then jumped from the tree, making the ground quiver - and Edward shudder. He had just gotten a full view of him.

Another perfect picture for the family album of horror...

The newborn walked over to them with the biggest grin on his face.

"You cannot leave the house on your own, Em, you know that," Rosalie reminded him in a soft voice and quickly looked him over to make sure that he wasn't injured.

Silly Rose...

Apart from his muddy feet and a few dirt stains on his butt and his legs, he looked fine.

Emmett scrunched up his face. "But if I had waited for one of you, I might have lost him."

"Maybe you shouldn't have him in the first place," Edward said with anger simmering just underneath the surface, and even though he tried to keep his voice light and friendly, it was clearly audible. "It's a forest animal and belongs in the forest."

"What do you know?" Em scoffed. "Archie loves me."

"Archie."

"That's Mister Archie for you, Ed," he told him, then held up his index finger as a thought struck him and he called, "No, wait! Mister Archie Squirrel I., yes! That's how you are supposed to call him from now on."

The look on Rosalie's face was pained. She didn't seem to be too happy about the fact that her mate had not just ran after the stupid critter and caught it again, but had now even developed the urge to give it a name. "Don't run away like that again, Emmett. Please," she implored.

"I was just going to get him, then I would have come straight home again."

Considering his short attention span and how easily he got distracted, they would have never seen him again. Okay, it wouldn't have been that long, because he would have missed Rose, but still - who knew what might have happened.

"Next time one of us will get him, okay?" she asked and let her hand run up and down his upper arm.

Edward snapped his head around and looked at Rose as though she had gone mad.

"Right, Edward?" she asked and gave him a pointed look.

"Sure," he pressed out through gritted teeth and forced the corners of his lips into a smile.

"Yay!" the dark-haired vampire exclaimed, then opened his arms and quickly closed the distance between him and his brother to give him a big hug, but Edward took a step back and held up a hand to keep him at a distance.

Emmett stopped just three feet from him and blinked his eyes in confusion, his arms still outspread and waiting.

"You're naked," Edward remarked.

A frown appeared on his face, and he looked down on himself. When he couldn't find anything disturbing about his appearance, he smelled his armpit, but that, too, was fine as he couldn't detect any weird body odour. "I just took a bath, I'm clean." yes, even Archie was clean!

"I'm not going to hug you, you're naked," Edward almost growled and clenched his jaw.

"Yes, because I don't wear my clothes when I take baths," Emmett explained, but looked like he still didn't understand what Edward's problem was.

Rosalie finally decided that she could maybe help him a little, and so she stepped in between Edward and her mate and said, "Emmett, come. Let's get you home and wash the soap from your hair."

"I like it out here," Emmett replied and let his hands drop back to his sides. He looked around and sighed, then suddenly his eyes widened as an idea formed in his head. "We could go bathing in the river!"

"Emmy, no. We'll go home now and next time put on some clothes before you leave the house, all right?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Why?"

"Because someone might see you," she told him.

"So? You said I look great naked."

Edward squinted his eyes shut. These two were too gross for words...

Suppressing a groan, Rosalie just nodded her head and said, "Yes, darling. But still, other people shouldn't see you like that, don't you think?"

He scratched the back of his head with the hand that was still holding the little squeaking rodent while he thought about that. "Do I know them?"

"Who?" she asked, and Edward just covered his face with his hands and groaned.

"The people."

Rosalie tried to figure out why that would be important, but eventually said, "No, I don't think so."

And so he shrugged again. "Then I don't care."

"Would you care if you knew them?" she asked, sounding slightly confused.

"No, not really," he replied casually.

"Em," Rosalie sighed. "Come, we'll go home now and get you dressed."

"I'm not cold," was all the boy said as he took a step back and held the half-choked squirrel up to his face before he started to pet it, ignoring his wife and his brother – or suddenly forgetting that they were here with him. Whatever it was, it definitely didn't help speed things up.

Great, so now they had a naked newborn who wanted to stay naked because he really liked it, and he had a pet that was scared stiff.

"Could we please go home now?" Edward asked in an slightly annoyed tone of voice and motioned with his hand in the direction they had come from.

He was just glad that the newborn was well fed, because he would not, under any circumstances, watch him wrestle and behead a bear when he was as naked as mother bore him. Heck, not even the ever patient and understanding Carlisle would do that.

Rosalie grew more and more impatient and so she just linked arms with her mate, then looked expectantly at her brother so he would either do the same to get Emmett moving or offer to carry the squirrel home, which would make Em follow him without a lot of fuss.

Both were terrible options, but eventually Edward gave his sister a forced smile and after grabbing Em by the elbow they walked home, the whole time being forced to listen to the newborn's inane chatter.

But luckily, it took them only a few minutes to get back to the house where the next discussion started. Rosalie tried to convince her husband to leave the critter outside and then come with her to the bathroom so she could rinse him off, but Em wanted to play with Archie in Carlisle's study instead.

"Do you still need me for anything?" Edward asked and gave Rosalie a look that just dared her to say that he had to help her get Emmett upstairs. He would not walk behind him while mounting the stairs, no.

Her jaw dropped at his question, and he just shrugged. "I'll be in the living room then." There was still more than enough work waiting for them, and by now they would probably have next to no chance to get the ink stains out of the wooden floor again. Hopefully Rose had some of her allowance left, because he had spend almost everything on new sheet music and therefore had no money to buy a rug that would be big enough to cover up the discoloured wood.

The soapy water in the bucket was cold by now, but Edward ignored it and started scrubbing again as he really did not feel like spending any more time in the presence of blondie and nudie than necessary.

Emmett still argued that if he wouldn't be allowed to take Archie with him to the bathroom then the squirrel would miss him and want to find him. He still thought that the poor thing was scared of them and he didn't want it to die of fear and desperation.

And Edward did not care how Rosalie would solve the problem as long as he would be able to play his piano tonight and not have to worry about a critter in the house that might destroy whatever they owned.

It grew silent in the foyer, and then Edward heard Rosalie stalk up the stairs and vanish into the bathroom. Her thoughts let him know what she had decided to do to convince her mate to follow her, and Edward had half a mind to give the girl a smack on the back of her head. They had only one bathroom in the house, and he still wanted to be able to walk into it without feeling the urge to hurl.

Clanking sounded over to him from the other side of the house, before Emmett let out an excited laugh and ran through the foyer, then up the stairs to follow after his wife. The door to the bathroom was slammed shut, before a loud splashing sound and a shriek filled the house.

Well, at least Edward wouldn't have to see them for the next couple of hours...

While he scratched at the stain underneath the table with his fingernail to see how deep the ink had seeped into the wood, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

He stopped in his movement and just listened for any sound in the house apart from the noises upstairs, when a sudden sinking feeling settled in his stomach.

Emmett hadn't brought the squirrel outside... and that meant: It was still in the house.

Somewhere, doing God knows what.

How fair was that?! These two idiots were now enjoying themselves and grossing him out at the same time, and as though that wasn't enough, he had to take care of a dirty, little squirrel.

He'd just throw it out of the house. It would already be far, far away when Em would emerge from the bathroom again, and chances were high that he'd have forgotten all about his stupid pet by then.

Getting up from the floor, he rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead and exhaled, before he left the living room and went to the last room Em had been in before disappearing upstairs.

The kitchen.

Now he could even perceive faint scratching sounds that told him where he needed to look for the critter, and so he picked up his pace and entered the most useless room in the entire house.

His eyes narrowed when he noticed that Emmett had bolted the kitchen cabinet doors by ramming a big knife behind the handlebars to keep it tightly shut.

He let out a groan.

That oaf had really thought a cold and dark kitchen cabinet would be a fitting home for a Douglas squirrel. Perfect.

He stepped over to it and was just about to grab the knife and throw it into the sink when a sharp smell stung his nose and he had to take a few steps back and try to fan the stink away with his hand in order to be able to breathe again.

While he could have just held his breath, he preferred to hold his nose when he slowly got closer again. He was just about to grab the handle of the knife with his right hand, but halted in mid-air as he suddenly decided against it.

The rodent had peed all over Esme's tablecloths, her doilies and the ornamental plates she loved so much and had hid in there until the newest addition to the family would learn to be less impulsive and hopefully lose his clumsiness.

That had clearly overstepped the mark, and so Edward decided that he didn't want to have anything to do with this here.

That cabinet would be Rosalie's responsibility to clean up, not his. He was already doing most of the work in the living room, so now she could take care of that and the squirrel and Emmett and whatever else was going to happen during the next few days until their parents would come back. And if they would get mad at him and ask him why he hadn't informed them about the difficulties they were having with Em, he would say that Rose had blackmailed him.

Yes, that was exactly what he was going to do.

Okay, apparently they didn't manage to get rid of the little one... but Em is happy and that's all that matters, right? Right?!

And I'm sure Carlisle and Esme are also really happy at the moment :D

Thanks for reading and reviewing, see you next time!