Edward stood in the foyer, his chest heaving with angry breaths, and he had his arms crossed like a sulky, little boy.
He was sick of it, so sick of it! Just because he was the oldest, he was expected to spend every waking hour watching his idiotic siblings. And the worst thing about that was, that he was awake for every hour of forever because they didn't sleep! That was an eternal full time job without any remuneration - the thought wasn't very appealing.
As though that wasn't already bad enough, he was bound to fail because nobody took him seriously, which only served to add to his frustration. How was he supposed to watch them and make sure that not too many things would get broken when they weren't listening to him?
No, no more. He was sick of it, and being responsible for everything would end now.
No more cleaning up, no more newborn idiocy and no more squirrels!
There was only one thing in the entire house that kept him sane, and it was his beautiful baby grand that he got from Carlisle on his birthday. It was like his father had known he would need it in the near future, like, really need it. And indeed, he had desperately needed it when Rose was a newborn, and now he needed it even more to help him hold on to his sanity for as long as possible.
Edward was determined to spend the days until Carlisle and Esme would come back home playing the piano in the dining room. He'd just play and forget everything around him and maybe even lock the room.
Yes, there was school... but spending half a day being surrounded by human children and teachers was a lot easier to endure than just a single minute with one of them. And as soon as he would come home, he'd just play again.
What Rose expected from him annoyed and angered him beyond belief. He was neither a babysitter nor was he a liar. Rose could take the blame for everything that had gone wrong since Carlisle and Esme had left the house, because she was to blame! She and Emmett! Why was she constantly trying to protect him? Protect him from what? He had caused trouble and so he would be in trouble! That's how it should be, it's called justice!
Urgh, it just wasn't fair... when he had been a newborn, no one covered for him or excused his antics. No, Carlisle took him by the scruff of his neck and then told him to get a grip on himself or else.
Rosalie had been absolutely horrible as a newborn and she still was, but did she get treated like he had been? No, Carlisle or Esme excused her behaviour and he had to do all the work.
And now it would be like that again, but without him. No, he refused to play along.
Let Rose handle her newborn on her own, let her protect her mate and be in trouble, or share the blame or just be honest with Carlisle and Esme: Emmett ignored the rules and so he should be held accountable for that.
How would he ever learn to stop being an idiot if everyone continued to wrap him up in cotton wool?
Whatever it was Rose would choose, he did not care anymore, because he would stay out of it.
The living room looked like hell because of them, there was a living animal in the house because of them, and Esme's things were ruined because of them.
What did he have to do with any of that? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
He stomped into the dining room and slammed the door shut to keep all the disturbing and annoying sounds out, and then he let out a sigh when his eyes fell on his baby grand.
There was no better way to calm down than to play on this beauty for hours on end. Maybe he could annoy Rose and Em for a change, that would serve them right.
With these thoughts in mind, he played the night away, feeling more and more at ease with every minute that passed.
The morning came way too soon for his liking and he could hear the bathroom door open, before tripping footsteps could be heard heading for Rose and Em's room and then the door was being shut.
Rosalie was getting dressed for the day it seemed, and just a moment later she emerged from the room again and made her way downstairs.
She was in a good mood, there was no denying that, and Edward felt his lips stretch into a smirk at the thought of Emmett's surprise his sister would soon find and have to clean up.
But instead of following the stench and head for the kitchen, she seemed to head for the living room, then let out a sad sigh and spun on her heel.
The dining room door opened a second later and Rosalie appeared in the doorway.
"The floor is still stained," she said to him and leaned with her shoulder against the door frame.
"Good to know," he replied without stopping to play one of his favourite pieces.
"Have you tried to clean it again?"
"I have."
She groaned. The stains would be almost impossible to hide, and if they hadn't been able to get them out of the wood again, then Esme also wouldn't succeed. She's going to be furious.
"Did you take care of the squirrel?" she asked, seeing that they could still save the rest of the house as long as the stupid critter was gone and wouldn't come back.
"Take care of it how?" he queried without looking at her.
"Get it out of the house, keep it from running around in here," she clarified for him.
"Oh." He let out a short laugh. "Emmett already took care of that. He made sure it wouldn't run around the house again."
A frown appeared on Rosalie's forehead as she tried to decipher what her brother had just told her - or what he hadn't told her.
"He threw it out?" she asked sceptically and narrowed her eyes in incomprehension.
"... no."
She pushed away from the door frame and blinked her eyes at him. "Then what are you talking about?"
He just shrugged one shoulder as best as he could without stopping to press his fingers down on the ivory keys.
"Edward," she prompted when he didn't reply.
Except for his stupid lopsided smirk that suddenly appeared on his pale face, he still didn't show the slightest inclination to answer her.
"Edward," she hissed again after a moment, but he kept on playing as though she wasn't even there.
Shooting him a death glare, she turned around with a huff and left in search of the little rodent that they needed to get out of the house before their parents would come back home and skin them alive for bringing wildlife in here.
She didn't have a clue where it could be, but she didn't think Em had taken it outside, and Edward didn't look like he would have done that seeing that he was currently going through one of his horribly annoying stubborn-phases once again. He was such an idiot... as though grabbing a critter by the neck and flinging it out of the window would be such a difficult task.
The critter definitely wasn't in the living room, because she couldn't detect anything furry or chattering in there. Hopefully it was still downstairs and not in Carlisle and Esme's bedroom, or – which would be even worse – in Carlisle's study. There were too many things in there that were valuable and could get damaged and she didn't want to imagine in how much trouble they would be if Carlisle found Em's squirrel in there, eating his books or chewing a hole through his huge wooden cross.
But the closer she got to the kitchen, the more she realised that something was wrong – in there. When she took a breath, a sharp smell made her cover her nose with one of her hands, and she slowly entered the room in nervous anticipation of what she would find in there. It didn't smell like death, which would have been gross, of course, but also kind of relieving. No, it smelled of faeces and dirt and something else...
With her heightened sense of smell, she could quickly find the source of the stench - and because there was a knife keeping the kitchen cabinet shut which was not common in this house. They weren't exactly normal, but cramming knife's between the doorhandles of all their cupboards, closets and cabinets would be extremely odd, even for them.
Quiet squeaking sounds were coming from inside the cabinet, and Rose cursed under her breath.
She really, really did not want to open it, and so she turned on her heel and marched right back into the dining room where Edward was still playing - this time a happy tune, probably to mock her.
"Found it?" he asked cheerfully when she appeared in the doorway again, this time glowering at him.
"What's wrong with you?" she queried angrily. "Why didn't you take it outside but stuffed it into a kitchen cabinet? And then, of all the places, you chose the one where Esme keeps the things she likes most, Edward! Why would you do that?"
"Shouldn't you ask your husband why he had done that? I am not to blame here, Rosalie."
Her jaw clenched. "At least stop playing that, it's not funny."
"Oh, but it is." He grinned like someone who really wanted to get slapped.
With her arms akimbo she demanded him to stop. "Stop playing and help me clean up! Maybe we can still wash the stains out of the fabric as long as they aren't dried up yet."
He shook his head and let out a soft chuckle. "They are already dried, trust me."
She huffed, then folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. "For how long has it been smelling like that?"
"Hm," he hummed, pretending to think about it. "When did you go into the bathroom?"
A loud gasp came from her and her jaw dropped. "The entire night?! You've been sitting here, playing for hours, when this thing is in the kitchen ruining Esme's things? You're not serious, are you?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Your husband - your mess."
"That is not just spiteful, that is downright mean, Edward, and you know it. Go clean it up."
"I don't think so."
Shocked that he would so blatantly refuse, she tried a different approach to make him clean up the mess. "You know just as well as I do that you'll be in trouble for this."
"Oh, but I won't," he replied and smirked at her. "This will stop now, Rose. You better clean up after your husband, or let him get in trouble as he is practically asking for it. But I will have nothing to do with this."
Her jaw clenched and her eyes blazed, but seeing that Edward again decided to ignore her and play instead, she turned around and headed for the kitchen once more.
If he continued to be so stubborn, she'd tell Esme and then he could watch his piano from afar for a while. He knew full well that he could play as much as he wanted as long as he did his chores and helped his siblings when they needed him. Rose needed his help with newborn Emmy at the moment, and she also needed his help when it came to making sure that the house was still standing when their parents would come back. That had definitely top priority here.
Way too soon for her liking, she found herself standing in front of the cabinet again, her nose screwed up and her lips distorted. She did her best not to breathe as it would only make her even angrier with Edward than she already was.
There was no way she would be able to get Em to carry his pet outside and set it free, nor was there a chance he would forget about it as soon as he would see it again. Edward was being stupid, and so the dreadful task of touching the animal and throwing it out of the house would be exclusively hers.
After repeatedly reaching her hand out towards the knife but pulling it back again, she eventually managed to overcome her disgust. With a growl she just grabbed the knife and pulled it out from between door handles.
There was still squeaking coming from inside the kitchen cabinet, but the squirrel did not push against the doors in order to get out of her dark prison.
Admittedly, Rose would have wished for that to happen. Let the squirrel flee from the room and head for the dining room - that would make Edward help her, for sure.
But since the brat had still not stopped playing the piano, she was on her own when it came to cleaning up.
She whimpered when her fingers curled around the door handles and she slowly pulled the doors open.
With a little shriek she let go again and hurried back, nearly tripping over her own feet, until she bumped into the kitchen counter behind her.
Here eyes were impossibly wide and she just stared at the cabinet in shock like it had suddenly grown legs and was now tap dancing around the room.
"What's wrong, Rosie?" Edward called from the dining room. "Changed your mind?"
Torn between anger and disgust, she just stood there, willing her brain to make a decision.
But since breaking Edward's head off was out of the question, she slowly took a few steps forward again and quietly opened the door just a crack to peek in, then whimpered and quickly shut it again before she left the room.
"You will clean that up," she growled as soon as she entered the dining room. Edward, who at that moment finally stopped playing, took his hands off the keys and turned his head to look at her.
"What makes you think that?" he asked curiously and started grinning.
"You could have prevented that from happening, you knew exactly what was going on but decided to be a jerk instead! Clean it up, I don't care how you do it, but you will do it."
"Em is your husband, so that makes the stupid squirrel your pet."
She just stood there and stared at him until he started to feel a little uncomfortable under her piercing stare. Deciding to drop his mental shield a little, his eyes widened at the same time his jaw dropped when he perceived the picture she was deliberately sending him.
She batted her lashes at him and gave him a humourless smile. "And what about them?"
He slowly shook his head, but she just let out a chuckle at seeing his reaction.
"No..."
She nodded her head. "Uh-huh."
"That's... no," he growled, then shot up from the bench and stormed from the room, pushing past his sister.
In the kitchen, he immediately stopped huffing because of the less than nice smell and he listened for the quiet movements in the cabinet. He slowly reached out then, just like Rose had done, peeked into it and immediately let it snap shut again as he gasped.
Raking one of his hands through his hair, he stomped back into the dining room where Rose stood leaning against the door frame, checking the nails of her right hand.
He came to a halt in front of her, and she just lifted her head a little and raised an eyebrow.
"I have nothing to do with this."
"Oh, but you do," she replied and let her hands drop back to her sides. "You had the chance to throw it out, but you didn't. You shot yourself in the foot, brother."
"Don't you pin this on me! He brought it inside and he is the one who is too stupid to see that it's a female squirrel!"
Completely ignoring his objections, she said, "We need to clean that up."
"We?!" He almost choked on the word. Rose was out of her mind if she thought that-
"That stupid thing had a bunch of naked, blind babies on Esme's tablecloths! And it had them in there because you didn't throw it out!"
"I-I... It's not my f-"
"You were in the next room! How could you not hear what was happening in there? How could you not smell the mucus and the... blood?!"
"I was playing! The urine smell is too sharp, I just didn't breathe! And how would I know that Archie is actually a pregnant squirrel?!"
"That's Mister Archie Squirrel the First for you, Eddie."
Rose and Edward turned around with a gasp and Emmett stood there grinning, before he noticed that they were not in the least bit amused. "Remember?" he asked hesitantly and looked back and forth between them.
Edward closed his eyes for a second to calm himself. "It's not a male squirrel, Emmett," he said through gritted teeth.
"But Archie is a male name," the dark-haired newborn pointed out, waving his index finger around.
"Yes," Edward said like he was talking to a retarded child, "but that doesn't change the fact that it's a female squirrel and always has been."
"And now Archie has babies?" he asked excitedly, still not grasping that they didn't even want one of them in the house... if Esme ever found out about this, she was sure going to force them to move out and then into a house that hasn't been defiled by a bunch of nasty rodents.
"Unfortunately, yes."
"How many?"
"Four," Rosalie breathed and hung her head, which was the reason why she wasn't prepared to have the air knocked from her lungs a second later as her mate threw his arms around her, hugged her tightly and lifted her up in the air.
"Hooray!"
"No, Emmett," she wheezed, and he set her back on her feet and let go of her, then tilted his head to the side and looked at her questioningly.
"No, this is bad, very bad."
Not understanding why she would say something like that, he scrunched up his nose and asked, "Why? It means that Archie loves to be in our house, and he feels at home. Otherwise he wouldn't have chosen to have babies here."
"You locked her in a kitchen cabinet! She didn't have a choice but to have them here!" Edward shouted, losing his patience with the demented newborn.
"I want to see them!" Emmett exclaimed and bounced on the balls of his feet like he hadn't heard his brother at all, and then he spun around and headed for the kitchen.
Rosalie just buried her face in her hands, and so it was on Edward to hurry after his brother and tell him that he had overstepped a mark and maybe should spend a few days sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing so he wouldn't continue doing stupid things.
"Hello?" Emmett whispered as he pulled on the door to open it a crack, but Edward pressed his hand against the door to keep him from opening it.
"No, Emmett," he chided and removed his hand, which only led to Emmett trying again to get a good look at his pets.
Again, Edward pushed the door back shut, and Emmett pulled at the door handle to get the door open regardless of his brother's hand.
"Stop it!" Edward shouted.
"No, you stop it!"
"Emmett, let go!"
"No, you let go!"
The shouting went on and was accompanied by the banging of the cabinet door that was constantly opened a crack and forced shut again.
Only a few seconds and the door handle came off when Em tried to open the door more forcefully and Edward tried to keep it shut.
"Hey, enough, you two!" Rosalie called from the foyer when she heard the cracking sound, "Get in here!"
The two boys looked at each other angrily, then let go of the door and slowly made their way into the foyer where Rose was waiting. They walked next to each other, watching the other one through narrowed eyes.
"He broke the door," Emmett told his wife once they reached the foyer.
"I know," she replied, then turned to Edward.
"Banging the door and breaking it is not going to help any of us," she almost growled while she glowered at him. For not wanting to get involved he just did a marvellous job of getting involved by breaking the cabinet door.
How in the world they were going to explain that, she really did not know, but that could wait. They had more urgent things to take care of at the moment.
"I broke it?! What are you talking about? It was-" "I just wanted to see them, but he wouldn't let me and broke the door!" Emmett complained.
Running her fingers through her hair, Rosalie let out a long drawn-out sigh. "They have to go, Em, I'm sorry. There is no way we can hide them from Carlisle and Esme, and they just don't belong in a house, especially not ours."
"We don't need to hide them. Animals are okay as long as they aren't dead."
"What?"
"Momma said, no dead creatures in the house. Archie isn't dead, so it's okay," he explained.
"Em, Momma wants neither dead nor living animals in the house," Rosalie told her mate.
He shook his head. "She didn't say so."
"Because she shouldn't have to tell you that. Don't you realise how scared the squirrel is?"
"He'll get used to everything."
"It's not a 'he'!" Edward yelled. "And it won't get used to anything! Don't you realise how scared animals are whenever we are nearby? We are terrifying, a dangerous threat, because we are dead soulless creatures!"
Rose tzked. Not because she didn't agree with her brother that the squirrel had to go, but because he had just claimed again that they didn't have a soul...
"I have a soul, it's right here," Emmett said and pointed at himself. "If I didn't have a soul, I wouldn't be me. And Rosie and Momma and Pops have souls."
Edward groaned.
"And you have one, too, Edward. Everybody has one, souls cannot just get lost." And then he suddenly snorted. "No soul... you're so silly, Eddie."
After a lot of arguing about souls, the sex of the squirrel and what to do with Esme's things, Rose eventually managed to convince Emmett to go upstairs and find a book about squirrels and what their private parts looked like. They didn't have any books like that, but he didn't know and so he would be busy for a little while while they could get rid of his pet, see what damage it had caused in the cabinet and maybe they would even be able to fix the door again.
With a lot of groaning, Edward volunteered to go back into the kitchen and try to fix the cabinet door so Esme wouldn't notice it had come off, while Rosalie decided to check on the stained floor in the living room again. Maybe they could sandpaper the spots that looked the worst, then wax the floor... If that wouldn't manage to take care of the stains, then they could still say it had happened while they tried to do some... renovating. Hm.
She let herself fall backwards onto the couch, then blew a strand of hair out of her face. Trying to find a way to cover up all the damage was tiring and frustrating. If it would only be one room, then they might be able to explain it, but now there were things in the kitchen damaged as well...
"With new screws and maybe some glue I should be able to fix the door handle, I think. It won't look exactly like it had, but at least Mom won't get mad. Oh, and the squirrel problem is solving itself, by the way," Edward said as he entered the room and watched his sister from the door.
Rosalie turned her head to the side to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Archie... is taking care of her babies."
"What are you talking about?"
He just smirked, then shook his head and walked from the room.
"Edward!" Rosalie sat up and looked after him.
"What? You should be glad!" he called as he headed for he dining room. "But if you don't believe me, see for yourself."
She frowned as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. Since he wasn't explaining any further, she just got up from the couch, then slowly walked from the room and made her way into the kitchen.
She was glad that she hadn't just fed, but still, she covered her mouth with one of her hands in caution when she opened the cabinet door and saw what her brother had been hinting at.
The furry squirrel had an extremely vacant expression on its little squirrel face while it held one of its pink, hairless babies between her front paws and bit chunks out of its head that she quickly chewed up and swallowed before she bit another part off.
One baby was already gone.
Edward let out a laugh from the adjoining room, and Rosalie felt extremely tempted to hurt him at that moment. Storming into the dining room where her brother was leaning against the wall, an extremely aggravating smirk on his stupid face, she came to a halt in front of him.
"Why would you make me see that?!" she screeched angrily. "She's eating her babies!"
"Yes, she is," he replied and his grin only got broader.
Seeing him like that made her anger peak and something snapped inside her. "That's not funny, you imbecile!" she shouted, then balled her right hand into a fist and wanted to sock him in the shoulder, but he quickly moved out of her reach.
With her fist suddenly stuck in the wall, Rosalie gasped in shock. It took her a moment to function again and when she did, she pulled her hand back, then stared at it like she couldn't believe what she had just done. She shook plaster dust and pieces of wall paper from her fingers, all the while eyeing the fist sized hole with a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Edward watched her face turn a shade paler and listened to her racking her brain for a fitting excuse that she could tell Carlisle. She was his little girl, after all, and he could never be angry with her... even when she tried to hurt Edward and punched holes into walls, right?
When the initial shock wore off, Edward started laughing like a hyena. "Oh my God, they are going to kill you!"
"This is your fault!" she retorted.
"No, it isn't! It was your fist in the wall, not mine!" He doubled over with laughter, and just a second later he was lying on the floor with an angry Rose sitting on top of him, growling in his ear.
"Not a single word about that to Carlisle or Esme, understood?"
"Get off me, you hag!"
"Say you won't tell them," she whispered, then put her hand around his neck and squeezed a little when he wouldn't immediately comply.
"R-Rose.." was all he managed to choke out.
"Hey, what are you two doing?" Emmett asked from the bottom of the stairs, shooting his wife and his little brother a questioning gaze.
Both of them turned their heads to the side to look at the frowning newborn.
"Your wife's gone mad, get her off me!" Edward bellowed at him. Hurting his sister while her mate was standing nearby would not be an option as he preferred to have his head attached to the rest of his body instead of having it flung through the room, and so he hoped Em would see that he wasn't harming Rose and then help him.
The young vampire walked through the foyer and over to them, still trying to figure out why they were fighting. Luckily Rose looked fine and since she had Edward pinned to the ground, Emmett could easily keep the instinct to protect his mate at bay. "Rosie? Rosie, come," Emmett said and patted her head.
A growl was rumbling in the blonde's chest, but she eventually calmed herself and looked up at her worried mate.
"We are not supposed to be fighting, Rosalie," Emmett reminded her, still patting her head. "Fighting each other is wrong."
"You're right!" Edward remarked, glad that the boy would finally remember something Carlisle and Esme had said. When Rosalie turned her head to glare at Edward, he exclaimed, "He's right!"
"Rosie... Pops expects us to get along while they aren't home," the newborn told her, and when his eyes fell upon the hole in the wall, he added, "And leave the house standing, he said."
Ok guys, don't get mad at me if you thought what Archie did was a little gross. It's what squirrels, rabbits, hamsters etc. do when they feel that their babies are in danger. They kill them and then they eat them. And being locked in a dark cupboard, having all that noise and dead, dangerous creatures around... I thought it would make sense.
The cute squirrel babies were Cullen1007's idea! :-) ... and I decided to finish them off *whistles* Sorry 'bout that, but you know there's no other way! Emmett would be a horrible squirrel momma!
Now I only need to find out why everybody wants to attack Edward at the moment...
Um, thanks for reading and reviewing! Next update will be ToC again!