CHAPTER 5

While she had a little time before she needed to focus on the documents, which she had brought home, Andrea decided to take advantage of the opportunity for a little sightseeing. While she had been to DC a couple of times her visits were all very hurried and she hadn't really had the opportunity to truly see the capital city. Of course, she didn't have enough time to actually see a lot right now, but she could well be here for a while and surely would get more chances to make other similar side trips.

She would have been much happier about it if she had her husband and daughter there to accompany her, but for now she had to be content with her own company. But even making her mind up to make the best of a bad job didn't make the situation entirely palatable. Over the last few years she had grown somewhat accustomed to not spending a lot of time with Christian, even though since childhood, the two of them, together with their best friend, were pretty much inseparable. It was only after high school that their paths diverged; eventually, they became submarine officers and she became a Judge Advocate. She and Christian got married, had Crystal not long after that, but ever since then they hadn't spent as much time together as they would like to. Their daughter didn't really know what it was like to spend nice holiday with her parents, and that was breaking Andrea's heart. She really wanted her daughter to experience everything that children normally did with her parents, but at this moment, it didn't seem very possible. And even though she should really be used to being away from both of them, she still missed them both terribly. She didn't regret coming there, though. She would never forgive herself if she had made James come here and anything happened to his wife or baby.

Neither did Mac spend a lot of time at the place, where she was living during her stay in DC. She went to Harm's old apartment only to refresh herself a little and, dressed in civilian clothes, she drove to the hospital in order to visit Mattie. She only made one stop at the bookstore to bring something for her, and she was walking between the shelves wondering what the girl would like. She completely didn't know her taste in literature, she didn't even know she liked to read, so it was a very difficult choice for her. The worst thing was, that despite about ten phone calls, she couldn't reach Harm. She has almost given up, when her eyes fell on another name. If there was one person, other than her fiancé, who could help her, it was surely Jennifer Coates. Some time later, thanks to the Petty Officer's invaluable help, she left the shop with three books and could only hope that Mattie hadn't read them yet.

When she returned to her room from her rehabilitation session Mattie was very surprised to hear that she had a visitor. Ever since Harm and Jen moved to the other side of the country, she didn't get a lot of visits. Pretty much the only people, who were coming to see her were Bud and Harriet Roberts. Previously, she never really had the chance to truly get to know the two of them, but now she regarded them as really great people. They were visiting with her every single week, sometimes even more than once, and at the beginning she was convinced that it was all because Harm had asked them to do that. They wouldn't deny that it was partially true, but they tried their best to make her feel that they were there for her and she could call them anytime, because their promise was just one reason, why they did that.

On her way back to the room, she kept wondering who her visitor could be. As much as given the choice, she definitely wouldn't list Mac as the person she wanted to see the most, she was still very happy to notice her standing in the corridor and waiting for her. Because it was a very nice weather, she immediately suggested that they could spend some time on the nice patio the hospital had, where the patients who didn't need to stay in bed could go to have some privacy with their family, friends and other people who came to visit. Mac, however, wasn't convinced it was absolutely innocent suggestion; the glance, which Mattie sent in the direction of the room, while speaking about it, raised her suspicions high. She didn't really know how she was getting along with people, who she was sharing the room with and Harm didn't tell her anything about it, but she couldn't help feeling that she wasn't entirely at ease with them.

"What are you doing here, Mac? Shouldn't you be in San Diego?" asked the girl, when they found a place in some distance away from the other people. "Don't get me wrong, it's really nice to see you here, but I so wasn't expecting that you could come."

"I was summoned to work on a case, so for a while I am back in DC How are you, though? How is your rehabilitation going?"

"The doctors claim that it's going very well, but I don't agree with them. In my opinion, there is absolutely no progress. So what if I've got this tingly feeling in my legs? There is no change."

"Nobody can move from nothing to everything in a second, Mattie. It's going to take time and you need to be patient as well as stubborn, not to give up and…"

"I know that, Mac." she interrupted, rolling her eyes a little. "It's just… It's so frustrating..!"

"I don't doubt it is. But, other than that, how are you?"

"In general, terribly bored. I mean, the Roberts do bring me books so I can read, but it's not like you can spend the whole day reading!"

"What about the people that you share a room with?"

"I actually don't really know what to think about them… I mean, I can't say that I don't like them or that they make me feel bad or anything… Separately, they're all great people and you can have a lot of fun with them, but… Whenever the guys from another room come and we're all together, they're insufferable. They act like a bunch of preschoolers, making stupid jokes and fooling around all the time! I can't deny that some of those jokes can be funny, once or twice but after five times you don't see anything funny in it anymore…"

Mac watched her carefully, as she spoke. She didn't know if it wasn't her hope making her see that, but she had a feeling that Mattie was actually opening up the way, she probably didn't have the chance to in a while. She wasn't going to deny that talking to the people on the phone, you care about, wasn't nice but it would never be the same as talking to someone in person. There were certain things that were difficult to talk about without the other person's company, and Mac's visit gave Mattie the opportunity to confess about her feelings and thoughts about everything around.

She wasn't very shocked to hear everything, what the girl was now speaking about. She had no doubts that she was placed in the room with her peers and it was in theory a very good thing, but not always. Mattie was much more mature than most of her peers; all her experience – good and bad – made her quite different from other kids her age. A lot of them didn't go through half of what she had experienced in her life, and this difference had a huge impact on the relations between her and her peers.

Mattie, on the other hand, was somewhat surprised, that she didn't hesitate to be honest with the woman, especially that she wasn't all that close with her despite the fact that they had got to know each other a little. She did like her, she played a huge part in Harm becoming her guardian twice, but at the same time, she was the woman, who kept breaking the man's heart and she was hostile to the people who were hurt those whom she cared about. On the other hand, she was very aware of the fact that they had finally found their way to each other and Mac was making Harm very happy. And this was exactly why she decided not to hold a grudge against her.

"Can I ask you about something, Mac?" asked Mattie, breaking the silence, which fell between them for a moment. "When Harm gets the guardianship over me back, will you bring me to San Diego?"

"It depends on a lot of things… We would love it if you came to us, to California but we have to consider the opinion of the doctor. If they say it's okay for you to travel all the way to the west coast, we'll surely do everything in our power to get you there. If that's what you want, of course."

"I do, very much… It sucks being here, when all the people, who are important to you are all the way there… Don't get me wrong, the Roberts are really great people, but it's not the same as being with Harm or Jen…" she stated, and then quickly added. "You too, of course."

"I'm definitely glad to hear that. I know that our relationship is nowhere near what you have with Harm or Jennifer, but I would like to work on it if you wanted, too."

"Can I be honest with you?" she asked and the expression in her eyes made Mac feel somewhat nervous. The girl's gaze was telling her, that she might not hear anything kind and she wasn't sure what to think about it. "There was a time when a part of me started to hate you for breaking Harm's heart and even though I was aware that you're actually a great person, I couldn't help it. I wasn't able to believe that even though you were aware that you love him too, you kept doing all the things to destroy the special bond that the two of you share. When Harm told me that you have gotten engaged, I wasn't sure how I feel about it. I was toyally divided – one half of me was happy, because I knew that Harm loves you and he is so very happy about it. Yet, there was this second half, which wasn't sure it's a good idea. I mean, you know each other for almost ten years now, and over this time there were so many things standing between you, so why should now be any different? How can I ever be sure, that you're not going to break his heart once again?"

"Look, I…" started Mac, but Mattie just shook her head and didn't let her finish.

"Let me finish, okay? What I want to say is that I have doubts, I really do but whenever I talk to Harm I can sense just how happy he is… Jen says that it's even more perceptible when you around the two of you in person and I have no reason not to believe her. And if he is happy, so am I, but it doesn't mean that I do not worry about what might happen in the future. I do hope that it is going to work out between the two of you, because I know that this is what Harm wants very, very much. And if he wants to give it a chance, if he believes that it is what he should do, I have no reason to do otherwise, and I know that it would make him very happy to see the two of us get along… So yes, I think I would like to work on our relationship and perhaps you'll be able to convince me, that this time you will not hurt him."

"I won't, Mattie. I promise you that."

"Good. Now, how is San Diego?"

Mattie smiled and Mac sighed with a small relief. She could understand the girl's doubts and next to the promise that she gave her, she also made one for herself that she was going to show Mattie that she shouldn't have any worries about her relationship with Harm. Now, that they were finally there, they were more than ready to do everything to keep it.