Chapter 5 :
Kurt remained in a state of disbelief for the rest of the morning. He refused to talk to Sebastian; still hell bent on believing it was all one big joke. Only when Burt shook his head and said that it wasn't a lie, did Kurt finally seemed to accept that he was in fact, living with Sebastian Smythe.
"It's not that bad. I promise," Sebastian said. "We get along fine. Better than fine."
"Excuse me if I find that hard to believe," Kurt snapped.
"It's a beautiful apartment." Sebastian continued, ignoring him. "Close to Central Park, tons of natural lighting -" Kurt wasn't even looking at him. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring at the opposite wall but Sebastian knew he was listening. "You had most of the control over decorating," he said. "I was just there to carry the paint brushes and hold up samples for you to -"
"Stop." Kurt said suddenly.
"Stop what?"
"Stop making it sound like -" Kurt looked at him, frustrated. "Like it's something we did together."
"It is," Sebastian said with a frown. "What, you think we just happened to move into the same apartment that magically furnished itself?"
"Yes," Kurt said with another stubborn jut of his chin. "That is exactly what I'd like to think. And you're not helping."
Sebastian couldn't help but smile a little. "Oh, Kurt."
"No. Don't oh Kurt me, I am going to think whatever I want in order to come to terms with this disturbing piece of news and you are going to stay out my way and let me, understood?"
Sebastian stared at him. "You expect that to work?"
"Yes."
"Kurt, it's not going to work."
"I will make it work."
Not when you find out we're married.
Sebastian took care of most of the paperwork when Kurt was finally discharged. Blaine had promised to come by later but he'd been called in by his boss for an emergency meeting with the distributors of one of their records and so it was just Sebastian and Burt. Kurt frowned when he saw Sebastian signing papers on his way to the elevator but didn't say a word to him all the way down to the car.
He'd changed into a pair of black jeans and a red long sleeved shirt that Sebastian had brought for him – he'd been too busy resolutely ignoring Sebastian's presence and still trying to build whatever fantasy he wanted to in his head about their living arrangements to comment on the plainness of Sebastian's choice of clothes. Even after all these years, Sebastian had no clue how to navigate Kurt's wardrobe. Blaine did a better job than him. Sebastian could appreciate fashion, sure. But normal fashion and Kurt-fashion were two different things in his mind.
"Why do you have a car in New York City?" Kurt asked with a huff as he got into the passenger seat.
"Because the public transport system is filthy." Sebastian said. "And because I need it for special occasions."
The ride home was silent. Kurt stared out of his window at the city in all her late afternoon glory. Even though there were probably a million thoughts running through his head at the moment, Kurt still had a small, uncontrollable grin on his face. Sebastian wanted to lean over the gearshift and kiss the corner of it but he kept his eyes on the road.
Their apartment was on the seventeenth floor. Kurt grew tenser with every number that lit up over the elevator, taking them closer to his new home. Sebastian wasn't in much of a better position beside him. This was it. There was no way he could hide their marriage once they walked through the front door, one of the first things Kurt was bound to see was the framed photograph of them at their wedding with both their families.
Kurt's wedding band felt heavy in Sebastian's pocket; he hadn't returned it with the rest of Kurt's possessions that had been found on him after the accident. He wanted to keep it with him until Kurt was ready to have it back which Sebastian was certain wouldn't be for a while.
When the bell dinged over them and the elevator doors slid open, Burt clapped both of them on the back with a hand. "Ready to see if your house is all you dreamed of?" he asked Kurt.
Kurt looked at Sebastian with narrowed eyes and Sebastian could almost hear him saying it can't be a dream if I'm stuck living with you but al he said was, "I guess."
Sebastian's hand shook a little as he turned the key in the lock. "Welcome home," he said to Kurt with a tentative grin when the door finally clicked open. He stepped aside and watched Kurt's face as he entered the apartment, his face completely blank of any emotion.
Kurt's gaze swept over the apartment in silence; from the entranceway to the lounge and what little you could make of the kitchen from here to the cut of the hallway where it lead to the bedrooms before coming to rest back on Sebastian who was waiting with bated breath.
"Well?" he asked.
"It's...not as bad as I expected." Kurt admitted, stepping further inside.
"Not as bad as y– even after everything I told you about how amazing it was?" Sebastian asked as Burt chuckled.
"Obviously, I never believed you." Kurt said coolly, looking around with more care. His face was less emotionless now; he obviously liked the place if the shine in his eyes and his parted lips were anything to go by. It took a moment for Sebastian to realize why Kurt wasn't freaking out like he'd expected – it was because he hadn't bothered to look at the pictures on the walls yet.
It was as if Kurt had read his mind because he stopped in front of a wall of framed photographs. He was looking at was a vertical frame, divided into three parts. The pictures were in quick succession like something out of a photo booth at the mall. The first was a black and white close up of Kurt and Sebastian with their arms around each other's shoulders, grinning at the camera. The second was in color, the same close up but with Sebastian bent down to kiss Kurt's cheek and the last one was black and white again with both of them laughing with their eyes shut and mouths open in frozen shouts of glee.
They were in their wedding suits.
"Who – who's wedding was this?" Kurt asked, turning around to look at his father and Sebastian with confusion and a hint of panic.
Sebastian didn't know whether to be glad or upset that Kurt had chosen to look at the more subtle of their wedding photos. He guessed they could be taken as pictures of them at a wedding instead of pictures of theirwedding.
"Oh my god," Kurt breathed suddenly. "We're not just friends, are we?"
Sebastian shook his head. "Kurt we're -"
"Don't tell me we're -"
"- married."
Kurt's eyes widened and Burt sucked in a deep breath. "I ... I was going to say dating," he said in a shocked whisper.
Sebastian's heart started to pound when the color drained from Kurt's face. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "But you were going to find out soon enough and I -"
"Oh my god," Kurt breathed, lifting his eyes back to the photographs. His gaze flickered from one picture to another so fast, Sebastian wondered if he was even taking any of it in. "Oh my god,."
"Kurt-"
"This is some kind of joke, isn't it? "Kurt said, rounding on his father. "Dad, please tell me you guys are joking."
"We'd never joke about something as serious as this," Burt said gently. "Why don't you take a deep breath and -"
"No." Kurt said, shaking his head. "No. No. No. This is not happening." Tears were starting to gather in his eyes, clinging to the corner of his lashes. "Dad, please." Sebastian didn't know what he was asking for but he felt his own tears start to burn his eyes. He stepped forward and touched Kurt's arm but Kurt ripped it out of his grip. "Don't touch me!"
"Kurt, please calm down," Sebastian said. "I can explain."
"I can't calm down!" he said, his voice shaking. "I am married. To. You." His face was full of horror, of disgust and hurt as if the there was no fate worse than being married to Sebastian.
Sebastian felt the tears break free of his eyes and start sliding down his cheeks. Burt stepped forward then, putting an arm around Kurt's shoulder and steering him towards the couch. "Sebastian, get him a glass of water," he called over his shoulder.
Sebastian did as he was told. Kurt still wouldn't look at him but he took the water and gulped it down, his hands still shaking. "You okay?" Burt asked when Kurt placed the now empty glass on the coffee table.
"No," Kurt said in a small voice. "No, I'm not." Sebastian felt his heart seize painfully. He wished he could have been in Burt's place right now with his arms around Kurt, wished that he could have held him against his chest, pressed at kiss to his head and told him that everything would be fine.
"Kurt," he said instead, staying where he was. "I know this is hard."
"You think?" Kurt asked, glaring up at him through his tears.
"I know," Sebastian said, swallowing thickly. "My husband doesn't remember me. You think that's easy for me?"
Kurt winced at the term 'husband'. "I'm not your husband."
It hurt more than anything Sebastian could have ever imagined. "Don't – don't say that."
"I'm not." Kurt said again. "I'm not married. I don't have a degree in fashion design from OSU or my own clothing line and Blaine and I never broke up."
Burt and Sebastian looked at each other with identical confused expressions as tears continued to stream down Kurt's face. "Kurt, what are you saying?" Burt asked slowly.
"I'm saying that I was stupid to think that my life before the accident is going to be my life now," Kurt said. "How can I fall back into the same patterns when I'm not the same person I was a week ago?"
"You are the same person," Sebastian said, his voice breaking.
Kurt ignored him. "I was so stupid to believe that it would be easy."
"It's not going to be easy for any of us," Burt said. "But I'm going to be here for you as long as you need me and we'll get through this together."
"How?" Kurt asked. "How are we going to get through this? I'm stuck married to Sebastian Smythe." He looked at Sebastian, "I don't care about what we did over the years, right here, right now you are the last person I would ever consider marrying."
Sebastian knew Kurt was hurt but it didn't lessen the blow of his words. He felt anger start to paint the edges of his hurt. "Well you know what, Kurt?" he said. "I'm really sorry this is so devastating for you but this isn't just about you. You don't get to dismiss the seven years we've been together just because of a block in your memory that you refuse to push away."
"You think I want this?" Kurt asked, standing up and fixing him with a vicious glare. "You think I want to be stuck ten years in the past?"
"I think you do," Sebastian said. "I think you'd rather live in your perfect little fairy tale bubble with Blaine -"
"Don't make this about Blaine-"
"- than face the reality of the fact that you two broke up and that you chose to fall in love with me instead."
"I didn't get to choose!" Kurt said. "I don't have any choice here at all do I?"
"You think I forced you to marry me?" Sebastian asked, his voice no longer near calm. "It takes two people, Kurt!"
"Boys," Burt said standing up. "Calm down."
Kurt was glaring at Sebastian harder than ever. "I'm not the guy you married," he said. "And you're not the sort of guy I would ever marry. There's only one solution I can see here."
"And what's that?" Sebastian asked even though his heart started to pound sickeningly in his chest.
There was a pause where the two of them just stared at each other, chests heaving with the force of their breaths and then Kurt said, "We get a divorce."