Chapter 8

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It couldn't have taken more than a second but turning around to meet Kurt's gaze felt like an eternity. Sebastian wished he hadn't been drunk so that his vision wouldn't swim as much as it did; he just wanted to see Kurt's face clearly. From what he could make of it, he noticed that Kurt was crying, his fist closed around the band in his hand as he stared at Sebastian. His throat felt like someone had stuffed cotton in it and Sebastian swallowed before he asked, "You – you don't?"

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath and in the little time that it took, Sebastian began to panic again. What if he hadn't meant it? What if he was regretting saying it now?

"There must have been a reason I married you," Kurt said, opening his eyes and breaking Sebastian's train of thought. "And I don't want to risk destroying something I – I guess I must have really wanted in order to..." he trailed off and bit his lip. "Until I get my memories back or in case I don't, we're going to have to learn to work around this - thing." He gestured around his head as if the block in his memory was something visible.

Sebastian wished it was, wished it was as easy as gripping it with his hand and throwing it aside to reveal a Kurt with his memories one hundred percent intact.

He found himself marching back to Kurt and he only got a glimpse of the surprised expression on Kurt's face before he had thrown an arm over his shoulder and pulled him against his chest in a bone crushing hug. Kurt let out a low sound of protest before he went slack in his grip. Sebastian didn't care that he wasn't being held in return, he just continued to hold Kurt close, breathing him in and grinning into his hair.

"I love you so much Kurt," he whispered. "So fucking much. I'd do anything for you."

"Um." Kurt didn't move a muscle but his uncertain tone seemed to snap Sebastian out of whatever trance he had been in and he pulled back.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "I wasn't thinking. I'm kind of -"

"Drunk?" Kurt supplied.

"Incredibly grateful," Sebastian said.

Kurt gave him a small smile but it was hesitant. "Look, Sebastian. I understand that we've been married for – how long have we been married?"

"Two years."

"Two years. Wow," Kurt breathed.

"We've been more or less together for seven." Sebastian said with a grin.

"Yeah, you mentioned that." Kurt said. "But right now I don't remember any of it so technically, I've only known you for a couple of not very happy months."

"But you're -"

"I'm going to try and work on not hating you," Kurt said with a nod. "But I need you to not do this."

"Do what?"

Kurt gestured between them. "This," he said and Sebastian wasn't any closer to understanding what he meant than he had been before. He frowned at Kurt until he sighed and said, "Look. Let's start slow okay? We'll work at being friends first and then see where it goes. You can't expect me to start acting like your husband just because I've decided against a divorce."

"No, no. Of course not." Sebastian said, realization dawning. "Take as much time as you want. I'm sorry. I won't – touch you? That sounds like I'm molesting you." He wrinkled his face and Kurt laughed a little, it was a beautiful sound. Sebastian immediately wanted to hear it again. "We'll work through this, Kurt," he said. "I promise."

"Thank You" Kurt said in a quiet voice. There was a tense moment of silence where Sebastian wished he had the ability to read Kurt's mind - this Kurt's mind, because right now, Kurt's face was so much more guarded, so closed off than the Kurt Sebastian was used to. "Do you want anything from the bedroom?" Kurt asked then, breaking the silence. "Because I'm going to call it a night."

It took a moment for Sebastian to realize that he was expected to sleep on the couch since Burt was in the guest room. "I'll just grab a pillow and blanket," he said, following Kurt as he led the way to their bedroom. "Maybe get a change of clothes," he mumbled, pulling his shirt away from his body and wrinkling his nose.

Kurt stood by the windows as Sebastian got his stuff. "So I'm assuming you took a look around?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, I uh -" Kurt turned away from the window to look at him. "I think I'm kind of in love with this place."

"Good to know," Sebastian said with a grin.

"How can we afford it?" Kurt asked, walking over to the bed and sitting down at the edge. "I know that I have a decent job and you're – sorry, what do you do again?"

"I'm a lawyer," Sebastian said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Kurt asked, shaking his head and giving him another tight smile. "Even with that though, a place like this has got to cost a fortune and I might not recognize all of them but I know labels when I see them and most of this stuff -" he waved his hand around the room as a whole, "- is definitely designer."

"Well, the apartment itself was a wedding present." Sebastian said, rubbing the back of his neck. "My dad he – he'd made the investment a long time ago and we refused at first but you know, what the hell. We were going to start a life together and my apartment – where we were living at the time – was nice but we both agreed that this was something we would never regret taking. So we did. And we pitched in to design it which set us back quite a bit as far as money was concerned even though we've both got pretty decent incomes," he grinned at Kurt when he saw this piece of news pleased him. "But you've always been careful about savings and stuff which really balances out my tendency to go wild with spending money. It worked out okay in the end."

"Better than okay, I'd say," Kurt said in a low voice, pinching the comforter between his forefinger and thumb. Sebastian grinned; even though he knew Kurt was talking about the apartment, it made him unreasonably happy to know that at least this part of their life was something Kurt liked. Kurt looked up at him all of a sudden, "Do you have everything?"

Sebastian took that as a sign that he should to leave. Reluctantly, he made his way to the door. Kurt didn't ask him to stay, didn't even ask if the couch was a comfortable place to sleep (which, thankfully, it was) and Sebastian guessed he shouldn't have been surprised. Just because they were married and Kurt had agreed to try and make their relationship work didn't mean that he cared about him enough to ask if he would be comfortable where he slept.

"Just one more thing -" Kurt said, his voice stopping Sebastian in his tracks once again. "Which toothbrush is mine?"
Sebastian smiled. "The purple one."

"Well, there goes my theory." Kurt sighed.

"What theory?"

"Nothing." Kurt said. He walked over to the door, forcing Sebastian to stumble backwards until he was standing just outside. "Goodnight Sebastian."

Sebastian blinked when the door closed in his face. He stared at the wood for a moment before his face broke out into a grin. At least he hadn't slammed it shut and at least he got a goodnight this time.
Progress.

Kurt woke up feeling confused with the urge to call out to somebody just like he had at the hospital. He sat up slowly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and as soon as his vision cleared enough to take in his surroundings, he relaxed. It should have been weird, his new bedroom should have confused him further but Kurt felt the familiar calm settle over him like it had last night when he had gone around touching random possessions in the room.

He sank back into his pillows and took a deep breath. The room was still dark but the sun was rising slowly outside the huge windows. Kurt hadn't closed the blinds before he went to sleep and he was glad of it now when he turned on his side to stare at the early morning light glinting off the buildings. He closed his eyes again, pressing his cheek into his pillow.

Kurt had always considered the bed in his old room to be one of the most comfortable places on earth. Blaine's bed had been his second favorite simply because it was Blaine's (no, don't think about Blaine's bed, don't ruin the moment) but the fact was that this bed was just as, if not more comfortable. Kurt was pretty sure he could stay cuddled up in his blankets all day. He drifted off for a while, not going back to sleep but just hanging in the moment between wakefulness and sleep. Once or twice he jerked awake because he'd felt as if someone were sliding an arm around his waist but when he turned to look over his shoulder, Sebastian's side of the bed (oh god, they have sides don't they?) was empty.

It wasn't that he felt creeped out by the phantom touch, in fact, he had a feeling that it might be some sort of sense memory. Like this wasn't the first morning he'd woken up to watch the sun rise outside the windows. Like it was something he did on a regular basis except he had someone pull him against their chest and press a kiss to the side of his neck as they did...

Kurt threw the comforter off of him and stood up. He didn't want to think about that certain someone and what they did in this bed. Not right now.

He chose an outfit for the day, swearing to come back and give his closet the attention it deserved before making his way to the bathroom. The shower was just as glorious as Kurt had imagined. He spent a few minutes under the spray, just letting the water cascade over his body before he turned to the products assembled in the compartments that were carved into the wall. There was only one brand of shampoo and conditioner so Kurt figured that he and Sebastian must share. The shower gel, though – there were two bottles, neither of them a brand Kurt recognized. He picked up the first one and gave it an experimental sniff. It was something fresh and slightly fruity - grapefruit maybe? Kurt liked the smell at the any rate.

Just to make sure, he picked up the other bottle and gave it a sniff too and oh yeah, this was definitely his. While the first gel had smelled nice enough, this one immediately made him want to surround himself in the smell. It was comforting just like his bed had been comforting and Kurt inhaled again deeply, just to let the pleasant smell invade his senses once more.

The bottle said it contained Grape Seed Oil, Mandarin Orange Peel Oil, Bergamot Oil and Rosemary Leaf Extract. It could also be used as a shampoo. Even though he had perfectly good shampoo and conditioner right beside him, Kurt went ahead and worked the scent into his hair. By the time he emerged from the shower, he felt more relaxed than he had all morning.

Sebastian was surprisingly awake and making coffee in the kitchen when Kurt finished brushing his teeth and walked out. He must have taken a long time in the shower because the sun was fully out now and had bathed the apartment in bright light. Kurt took a moment to appreciate how beautiful the white color scheme of the lounge looked in the light of day. He slid onto a stool behind the kitchen counter with a quick, "Good morning."

"Sleep well?" Sebastian asked as he passed a cup of coffee over to him.

Kurt nodded as he took a sip. "You?" When Sebastian didn't reply, he looked at him over the rim of his mug only to find him frowning. "What?"

"You showered," Sebastian said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "What gave it away? Was it my wet hair?"

Sebastian grinned. "So how'd you know which body wash was yours?" he asked conversationally.

Kurt felt a rush of satisfaction at the thought that he had been right. He shrugged, "I chose the scent I liked the most."

"You liked this one?" Sebastian asked, grinning widely.

"It made me feel calm, comfortable...happy - I don't know, does that makes sense?" Kurt asked, taking another sip.

"I guess," Sebastian said and okay, his grin was starting to get on Kurt's nerves.

"What?" he asked irately.

"Nothing." Sebastian pressed his lips together as if trying to stop himself from bursting out laughing.

"What -" he asked again, setting down his mug. "Is so funny?"

"It's just -" Sebastian's grin grew impossibly wide. "The body wash that made you feel so calm, comfortable and happy is actually mine."

See You Soon =)