Chapter 11 :

Kurt insisted on doing the dishes after lunch because he felt useless after a day of nothing but lazing around and napping, though he didn't tell that to Sebastian. When Sebastian tried to protest and get him to just use the dish washer, Kurt snapped at him. "I've lost my memory, Sebastian. Not my motor skills. I think I can handle a few plates and glasses."

"Jesus, you can wash the fucking dishes. No need to get your claws out." Sebastian said. "Less work for me."

Burt had to run down to the store for a few supplies, he asked them if they needed anything to which both of them shook their heads. It wasn't until the apartment door closed behind him that Kurt realized they were alone and that Sebastian was staring at him. He ignored him for as long as he could, focusing instead on the mechanical task at hand. It felt good to do something even if it was as simple as washing dishes. Kurt was about to ask if he could take over cooking duties for the night when Sebastian broke the silence.

"So what did you think?"

"Of what?" Kurt asked, not looking at him.

"Lunch."

"It was okay."

"Do you believe me now when I say I'm the superior cook?"

Kurt chanced a look at Sebastian who was sitting on the stool Kurt had occupied that morning. "You made grilled chicken and mashed potatoes," he said. "Not exactly gourmet cuisine."

"I was working with a hangover," Sebastian said, sounding offended. "Cut a guy some slack." Kurt shrugged as he dragged the soaping sponge down a plate. He almost jumped when he felt Sebastian's chest brush against his back. When had he moved from his place? "Relax, tiger. I'm just making things easier." Sebastian said, reaching for a towel and grabbing a wet plate.

"I see your habit of calling me names that aren't you know, my actual name hasn't died over the years," Kurt said.

Sebastian grinned. "I only use them with specific reason."

"What might those be?"

"Depends," Sebastian said with a shrug, taking another plate from Kurt's hand. "Either I'm trying to irritate you like I am right now. Or I'm in a romantic mood or -" he stopped when he saw that Kurt had tensed. "I mostly just call you Kurt." he finished quickly.

The silence between them was awkward for a second before the ringtone of Sebastian's cell phone filled the apartment. "Are you trying to wake the dead?" Kurt asked, looking over at the coffee table where the phone was vibrating along with the sound. He thought he saw a hint of bitterness in Sebastian's smile.

It was Blaine, promising to come by after work with dinner. "Kurt do you want Chinese or pizza?" Sebastian called out.

"Anything as long as it's not dripping with grease," Kurt said.

"Just grab a few burgers." Sebastian said and Kurt somehow knew just by his tone that he was rolling his eyes. "No, he's got his hands occupied at the moment. You can talk to him when you see him later."

Kurt almost turned around and told Sebastian to give him the phone anyway, he was so eager to talk to Blaine but by then, Sebastian had already hung up. At least he would see him this evening, Kurt said to himself. He couldn't stop the grin that spread on his face at the prospect.

Kurt spent the rest of the afternoon browsing his closet. For the most part, he had to fight the urge to grab his laptop and start researching fashion trends over the past ten years. He found a few pieces with a tag that had the initials KH on them and it took a surprising amount of time for Kurt to recognize that they were actually his designs. His surprised shout was so loud, both Burt and Sebastian appeared in his doorway within seconds. Kurt flushed a deep shade of red and waved them off but Sebastian stayed anyway, his grin telling Kurt he knew exactly what had prompted the exclamation.

"You're still working on a proper clothing line," he said, sitting down on the bed much to Kurt's dismay. "But you've been making stuff for yourself for ages."

Kurt was silent as he ran his hand over the shirt. He almost asked Sebastian to tell him more – about his designs, about his job but then he looked up and saw the way Sebastian had slid back on the bed and was lounging there as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Even though Kurt knew this was technically their bed, seeing Sebastian spread out like that, with the shadows of raindrops playing on his skin made him feel uncomfortable.

He was considering the politest way to tell him to leave when he heard Blaine's voice out in the hall, greeting Burt. His heart skipped a beat and he quickly turned back to check his reflection in the full length mirror in his closet. His hair was a mess and his clothes weren't as flattering as they could be, especially after a morning spent rolling around in them, but at least he looked better than he had at the hospital.

Sebastian didn't notice Kurt's sudden jumpiness. He called out to Blaine from his position on the bed and grinned lazily at him when Blaine walked through the bedroom door. Kurt's breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. His hair was dripping with thick droplets of water that fell down in big blotches onto his powder blue button down. The first two buttons were open to reveal a patch of bronze skin damp with rain and Kurt flashed back to the night Blaine's parents had been out of town and the two of them had spent hours just mouthing over each other's body.

"Hey," Blaine said with a bright smile, oblivious to the sudden racing in Kurt's heart as he made his way towards him.

"Hi," Kurt managed to say with a smile. He didn't resist when Blaine pulled him into a hug but he did feel a flash of heat shoot through him when he kissed Kurt's cheek. Sebastian seemed unfazed by the display of affection and it surprised Kurt given how his last meeting with Blaine had ended on the news of their break up but maybe they were the sort of friends who kissed? Blaine had always been very physically affectionate; Kurt shouldn't have been surprised that the habit would have stuck after all these years. A kiss on the cheek was probably as normal as a handshake for him by this point.

"How are you doing?" Blaine asked as Kurt joined him and Sebastian on the bed.

"He spent the whole day napping," Sebastian said with a grin and Kurt elbowed him in the thigh, his eyes fixed on the way Blaine's grin widened.

"Well that's good, right? You need your rest."

"Yeah, I guess." Kurt said.

It felt oddly familiar sitting on the bed talking to the two of them; his husband and his best. Kurt rolled around the words on tongue as if they would make the roles of these boys any more real in his head. As if the warmth he felt when he looked at Blaine would transfer to when he looked at Sebastian.

It never did.

When Sebastian said he was going to go the bathroom, Kurt almost grabbed his hand and told him to stay because he felt as if a whole cage of butterflies had been let loose in his stomach at the thought of staying alone with Blaine in his bedroom.

Blaine just smiled at him though, playing with one of the cushions as he asked, "So how're things with Sebastian?"

Kurt shrugged, "We're getting along. I guess."

"Give him a chance, Kurt."

"I have." Kurt said. "I just keep thinking about the last time I did."

Blaine looked at him long and hard, as if he was weighing his words before he said them. "That was a long time ago. A lot of things have changed."

"You're telling me," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.

"It's stopped raining," Blaine said and Kurt was about to call him out on his sudden change of topic when Blaine asked, "Have you been on the roof yet?" Kurt shook his head. "Oh my god, you haven't? Come on, the timing is perfect. The sun hasn't set yet."

Kurt found himself being dragged out the bedroom towards the apartment door as Blaine shouted a quick, "We're going to the roof!" to Burt over his shoulder.

Kurt was too focused on the feeling of Blaine's hand around his wrist to pay attention to where they were going. He only looked up when they stepped out onto the roof, still a little wet from a day of nonstop rain.

"Wow," Kurt breathed.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Blaine asked, letting go of his hand and stepping forward. "Surprisingly, no one ever comes up here so we can hang out and never have to worry about intruding on someone else's space."

Kurt walked over to the ledge and looked out at the city, Blaine coming to stand beside him, his face turned towards the sky. Kurt looked at him, his hand aching to reach out and touch his cheek, trace over the end of day stubble there. Instead, he turned back to the buildings around him and asked, "You've been in New York longer than me, right?"

"Only by three years. Give or take a couple of months."

"And to think I was always worried about how you would deal with being left behind." Kurt said quietly. Blaine gave him a small smile but didn't press the subject. "Blaine," Kurt said, turning his body towards him. "Why did we break up?"

"We were – we were fighting a lot." Blaine said. "The distance was getting to us both and every time we promised each other we'd try and make it work, about ten things would go wrong simultaneously and it would make everything that much harder."

"Did either of us...cheat?" When Blaine didn't reply, Kurt felt his heart sink.

"No," he said finally. "Not in the literal sense. But emotionally, I think we had moved on a long time before we finally ended things."

That was worse than anything. Kurt felt tears start to gather in his eyes at the thought of him and Blaine struggling to make a relationship work when neither of them was emotionally invested anymore. It just wasn't something he could process right now. He could never think of a point where he didn't love Blaine with all his heart.

"I'm glad I don't remember it." Kurt said in a quiet voice. "I don't want to remember falling out of love with you. I don't – I can't think of how I ever could."

"We moved on, Kurt. That was all." Blaine said. "We still love each other, just not in the way we used to. It's not any less intense – just different."

Kurt wiped his eyes, trying to stop the tears from escaping. He didn't want to cry. Not over something he was sure he had already devoted several hours to crying over. "You know what the worst part is?" Kurt asked. "It's not that we broke up – it's how I don't remember all the good stuff in the years we were together. Senior prom, winning Nationals together, sneaking you into my dorm room – did I sneak you into my dorm room?"

Blaine grinned. "A couple of times."

Kurt laughed. It sounded wet. "See?"

"Well you still have pictures of all of it. Maybe not the dorm room part, but Nationals and prom – facebook is probably full of them."

"I just," Kurt took a deep breath. "I guess I'm looking for some sort of closure."

"Closure?" Blaine repeated, frowning a little.

Kurt looked at him and nodded slowly, eyes raking over his face and still seeing the same Blaine he had always seen, just a little older. "Blaine," he said in an almost terrified whisper. "Can I kiss you?"

Blaine's face immediately became guarded. "Kurt -"

"No, please. Just listen to me." Kurt said, cutting him off. "Just one time. One last time. Think of it as a consolation prize for missing out on the years of being together that I don't remember. Please, Blaine."

"Kurt, you're -" Kurt knew he was going to say married but he didn't. Blaine looked at him with hesitation and sympathy, the same way he had looked at him the first time Kurt had confessed his crush to him. Kurt's heart pounded while he waited for Blaine's answer, he could see his mind working behind his eyes. Finally, he took a deep breath and said "For closure?"

Kurt smiled, relief washing over him. "For closure."

"Where did Kurt and Blaine go?" Sebastian asked after he came out of the bathroom to find the bedroom empty.

Burt was watching football and didn't look away from the screen when he said, "They went up on the roof or something."

Sebastian slipped into a pair of sandals and took the stairs two at a time, finding the door wide open when he got to the top. The sun was just about setting but there was still enough light to make out Kurt and Blaine standing off to his left. Sebastian made a move towards them but stopped in his tracks when he saw how they were pressed together.

For a moment he thought his eyes must have been playing tricks on him, he grappled for an explanation that would explain why Blaine was currently cupping Kurt's face with both hands or why Kurt had his fingers threaded through Blaine's curls, holding him close. His brain tried and failed to give him a valid answer and as much as he wanted to, as much it felt like a blow to heart every second he kept staring, Sebastian couldn't look away.

He stood frozen, feeling sick as he watched the two of them kiss; his husband and his best friend.

See You !

SabrinaJeff