Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character thereof. Only the story line is mine so please don't sue! I don't own anything!

Disclaimer: This chapter has a slight 'M' rating to it. There's nothing too graphic, just giving the warning, just in case.

Chapter 4

Lily was a nervous wreck. Thursday was finally here and it was 3:30 in the afternoon. Her friends had finally left her alone. As soon as they did, she started putting up several silencing charms, took the anti-apparition spell off of her room, and then began to pace.

At exactly 4pm, a near silent pop made her turn around with her wand at the ready. She nearly let out an audible gasp.

There stood Severus Snape, holding 12 long stemmed red roses mixed with lilies in his hands. And he was smiling at her.

"Where was our spot located?" She asked him quickly with her wand pointed at him.

He calmly replied, "Near the black lake, there is a series of bushes on the western side of it. We had an area together where we could watch the sunset without being disturbed by others."

As soon as he finished speaking, she re-cast the anti-apparition wards around the room so no one could interrupt them, put up a few more silencing spells, then ran into his arms.

Severus, to say the least, was a little surprised, but very pleasantly pleased. He hugged her with such enthusiasm that he picked her up off the ground.

"Lily ..." He breathed in the scent of her hair.

She looked up into his eyes and smiled. She then took the flowers out of his hands and placed them in a vase that she had conjured out of thin air.

"Sev, please sit down." She dragged him over to her bed and they sat down facing each other.

He knew that he was going to get the third degree and he was going to be truthful with her, so he wanted to head her off before she began speaking.

"Lily, before you say or do anything else, I want to tell you that you are free to ask me any question, to yell at me for as long as you like, and to smack me upside my head if you want. I will respond to you truthfully." He looked into her emerald eyes as he said this to let her know that he was telling the truth and very much serious.

It actually partially amused him that he could lie to the most powerful Dark Wizard of all time yet she could read him in an instant.

Lily nodded.

She then took his left arm and rolled up the sleeve. He let her see the Dark Mark. He saw the tears welling up in her eyes, but she did not let them fall. He knew she wouldn't. After examining it for a moment she looked him straight in the eyes and asked a single worded question.

"Why?"

He took a deep breath because he had been prepared for this question. "As much as it pains me to say, the reason isn't a very good one. After you left me, not that I blame you of course, but after you left me, I had no one to turn to. When I graduated, I was approached by Lucius Malfoy and was more or less taken against my own will. After the apparition ended, I saw that I was standing at the feet of the Dark Lord himself. It seems that he had been watching me for a long time and knew of my skills with potions. So he made me an offer.

"He told me that he wanted me to work for him, making the potions that he required and for my unwavering service I would be granted power, access to an amazing lab, and money beyond my wildest dreams. As awful as it sounds, I took up his offer mostly for the lab alone. And I regretted it immediately and have every day since."

Severus began to shake slightly so Lily grabbed his hands to act as an anchor as he continued to speak.

"I regretted it because he didn't just require potions of me. He also required me to go on raids with the other members. After the very first one, I went home and retched for nearly 12 hours."

"How come you haven't left him?" Lily asked quietly.

"One doesn't simply leave the Dark Lord's service. If it was found that I had abandoned him, I would be hunted down and killed. So, I decided to take another route." Severus smirked a little bit.

Lily raised her eyebrow at him which made him nearly laugh out loud. He missed that so much.

"So far, I've managed to foil the Dark Lord's plans three times without being caught. It would have been a lot more, but I have to be extremely careful, otherwise I'll be killed anyway."

"Really Sev? You're working from the inside for the good guys?"

"Not that the 'good guys' know that, but yes, I am. I wouldn't lie to you, Lily. I don't think I've ever been able to lie to you." Severus felt his cheeks darken a bit.

"I'm not sure I want to know, but how many people have you killed?"

"I can honestly tell you none."

"What? I thought in order to get the Dark Mark, you had to kill someone to prove your loyalty."

"Normally, yes. But he wanted me for my potion skills early on, so after I made him a potion, that sadly enough mimicked the Cruciatus Curse, I received my mark ..." He let his voice trail off.

Suddenly Lily hugged him. "Thank you for telling me the truth. It really does mean the world to me. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you beyond belief. What are the odds of me talking you out of marrying Potter and running away with me?"

Lily chuckled. "Not only would you have You-Know-Who after you, but also James and Sirius. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. No, I won't leave James at the altar on Saturday. I do love him, but ... I don't know how to explain this."

"You love me differently?"

"I do, but the love I have for you is stronger than what I feel for James. The love I have for you feels more powerful. Oh, that doesn't make sense at all..."

"On the contrary, it makes perfect sense. Because that's how I feel about you." Severus' face was definitely red now, but that didn't stop him from slowly leaning in and placing his lips gently on hers.

Just as he felt her respond to his kiss, she suddenly leapt to her feet. "Are you hungry?" Not waiting for an answer, she picked up her wand and waved it causing food to appear in front of them.

At first he was startled by the sudden change in pace, but he accepted it. With her, a person always had to keep on their toes. They ate together and talked and laughed about old times. It really felt like nothing had changed. It was a wonderful feeling for both of them.

Around 8pm, Lily got up to put some music on and pulled Severus to his feet to dance.

"Lily, you know perfectly well that I don't dance."

She looked up at him with those emerald eyes of hers and just smiled. That was all it took. And he knew that she knew that was all it was going to take.

So they danced.

The next thing Severus knew is that they were kissing fiercely and passionately on the bed. He wasn't entirely sure how they got there but he did realize Lily's intentions and he didn't want to force her to do anything, no matter how much he himself wanted to.

"Lily ..." He breathed into her ear. "Not that I'm not enjoying this, I just don't want you to have any regrets about anything that might happen. I will stop anytime you want."

She pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes, as if she was studying them intently. "I already have regrets when it concerns you. I regret that what I want to do tonight hasn't happened between us already. I regret that I never accepted your apology that night. I regret not seeking you out the next day like I wanted to. I regret saying yes to James, knowing that my heart really belongs to you and knowing that I can't have you at the same time. I regret that this marriage isn't between us.

"However, I do not and will not regret what I want to happen tonight, as long as you won't regret it either. I don't regret saving myself, because yes, I am a virgin, and I do not regret wanting you to have me whole. And I have never regretted loving you with all of my heart."

Severus just looked at her. His eyes full of happiness at what was just said and sadness all at the same time. He dragged the back of his fingers down her cheek as he gazed into her eyes. "Lily, I could never and will never regret anything that has happened today and will happen tonight. I don't regret returning your love and, since it's you, I don't regret telling you that this will be my first time as well." He did, however, feel the heat creep up his neck slightly.

She raised her eyebrow at him before smiling and kissing him. It only escalated and when they did finally become one, they both felt the earth move. All that night and into the early morning, they made love and both fell asleep in each other's arms.

A/N: 7/28/11 - Edited words and such ...