Sorry for the long time ! Enjoy it
Chapter 18 :
"Kurt?"
Kurt lowered his arm and straightened up but his face was still panicked. "What just happened?" Sebastian asked, taking Kurt by the elbow and angling his body so they were facing each other. Kurt wouldn't meet his gaze; he kept looking up and down the deserted road with a slightly lost expression. "Kurt?" Sebastian said again, louder this time.
"Didn't you hear that?" Kurt asked, looking frustrated when Sebastian didn't react immediately. "Just now. After the accident, a woman screamed-"
Sebastian was honestly lost. "No one screamed Kurt," he said, brow frowning in worry. "There was no accident."
Kurt looked distraught but then he shook his head as if to get rid of a fly and said, "I guess I must have imagined it."
"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked gently.
"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "I'm fine."
"Do you think this might have been a flashback?"
There was a pause where Kurt looked unsure but a moment later, he shook his head again. "No."
"You said something about an accident -"
"It was just a bunch of sounds. Probably my ears ringing or something."
"Normal people don't usually hear women screaming when their ears ring, Kurt."
"I'm fine," Kurt said more firmly. "If it was a flashback, I would've known."
"How?"
"I don't know." Kurt said with a huff, "I just would."
"If they were just sounds why'd you duck then?" Sebastian pressed.
Kurt pulled his elbow free from Sebastian's grip only to take his hand. The gesture surprised Sebastian so much he forgot the next part of his argument. "Just let it go, okay? Kurt said with a sigh. Wordlessly, Sebastian nodded, focused on the feeling of Kurt's fingers slipping through the gaps in his. Satisfied at his agreement to drop the subject, Kurt smiled and said, "I believe you were going to show me my old apartment."
"Y-yeah." Sebastian said, trying not to let his voice quiver with excitement like his whole body was.
He took my hand. He's holding my hand. We're holding hands.
_
They were still holding hands when they climbed into the back of the cab. Sebastian was disappointed when Kurt finally pulled his fingers free and slid over to rest his head against the window on the other side as Sebastian gives the cabbie the address to their restaurant.
"So what did you think?" Sebastian asked when he'd settled back against the seat.
"It was exactly the kind of apartment I imagined myself living in when I first moved to New York," Kurt said. "But I don't anything will ever compare to the one we're living in now."
Sebastian felt giddy.
We're living in now. Not I'm living in now.
"You know I really love how you've embraced that place as your home." Sebastian said, grinning at Kurt.
"I told you, I'm kind of in love with it." Kurt said, giving him a small smile in return.
"Yeah but still," Sebastian said.
He thought of reaching out and taking Kurt's hand again because he already missed the feeling of their fingers locked together but he decided not to. Instead, he forced himself to look out of the window and let his mind wander.
They rode in silence for a while until the cabbie took a sharp turn and suddenly, Kurt's hand darted out to grab Sebastian's. For a second, Sebastian's heart lifted at the thought of Kurt trying to hold hands again but then he caught sight of Kurt's expression.
Before he could do anything, Kurt was saying, "Stop the cab. Stop!"
"What?" the cabbie called, looking at Kurt through the rear view mirror as if he was crazy.
"Just stop the damn cab!" Kurt sounded furious, desperate.
Thankfully, they hadn't hit any traffic yet so the cabbie was able to pull over easily. Kurt was out of the car within seconds and Sebastian blindly threw a few crumpled bills on the front seat before clambering after him.
"Kurt what -" he stopped when he saw how Kurt was breathing; long, deep gulps of air like he'd just resurfaced from a long time underwater.
"It happened again." He was shaking. "The woman screaming, the accident – I was there, I saw it all happen and - fuck," he turned away from Sebastian and put a hand to his forehead, collecting the sweat that had started to gather there.
Sebastian stepped forward and took Kurt's hand to make him stop pacing and pulled him aside so they weren't in the way of pedestrians. "It's definitely a flashback Kurt."
"Thanks, I figured as much on my own." Kurt snapped but he didn't pull away when Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist and held him close. "I - I remember the sound of a horn blaring," he said in a quieter voice. "I think it was from the oncoming car – it might have been my cabbie..." he closed his eyes as if he was trying to recreate the scene in his head but he opened them a split second later, looking sick. "I screamed 'look out' to the driver and then -"
"Okay, don't talk about it." Sebastian said cutting him off. He wasn't sure what the proper procedure was for this sort of situation; whether he was supposed to encourage Kurt to remember everything he could or tell him to block it out. All he knew was that Kurt hadn't stopped shaking and that his hand was currently curled around Sebastian's jacket. The memory was clearly painful for him and Sebastian wanted to reach inside Kurt's head and rip it out. "Just breathe."
"There's something else I remember."
"Kurt -" Sebastian started in a gentle voice, trying to tell him Kurt, don't do this to yourself but Kurt cut him off.
"Just before the woman screamed, I felt this really strong urge to get to you. Like I had to or else..." he broke off and looked up at him, tears finally gathering in his eyes. "Sebastian," he said in a hoarse whisper. "I think the last thing I thought about before the car crashed - was you."
Bybye !
-S