5. The sacrifice
She had expected an emptiness, a vacuum in her chest, a hollow presence filling up the space that had once contained her humanity. Instead she felt a calm sense of contentment, similar yet intriguingly different from happiness. An ultimate idea of self-confidence – she knew exactly who she was, what she could do and how to do it. Her mind was clear and sharp. Rather than missing a part of herself, she felt like everything else that was her had expanded and taken its place.
Life was a game, a very complicated one, in fact so complicated that a full understanding of the rules exceeded the human perception. But she wasn't human anymore.
She knew exactly what her set of cards was. Better yet, she knew that she could read anyone else's, too. And in ninety-nine percent of cases she was the superior player.
She didn't have to hold back anymore, in no way whatsoever.
She was free.
She could feel, wish and do whatever she wanted.
And want she did. Many, many things – enough to fill an eternity.
Most of which had been unimaginable up until now.
Along with all this there came a certainty, an objective. Her now liberated free will, an insight of the rules of the game and maybe even a personal preference of beauty, symmetry met at the now revealed core of her being and formed some kind of destiny path for her to walk.
But it was no higher force, no god, no spirits that led her way – no, this was all her and she was a force to be reckoned with.
Everything, even what she was about to do now, could change in the glimpse of a second, be rendered meaningless by the simple shift of a detail.
Because that was the truth to the rules of the game, they were temporary.
Stability was an illusion. Some things were more durable than others – the central parts of who a person was, social statistics, human nature – but even those could be destroyed or deformed beyond recognition.
She had always strived for stability. Now she knew the only constant was herself.
All she had to do was identify the current state of game, adapt to it where she had to and bend it, mold it to her will.
She had her own, personal ritual to fulfill.
She had always loved rituals. She had indulged in the enjoyment brought by exceeding at planning and organizing. Charities, school events, class, her appearance, being a queen B, being a caregiver – being an empathic vampire.
But now child play was over.
She would step out of the light, out of the grey, straight into the dark.
When she arrived at the hall everything was abandoned. The lights were still on and the place had an eerie sense of sanctity about it.
Elena was still sitting in the dance room, a bottle of alcohol at her side.
When Caroline arrived, she rose to her feet and smiled at her.
She returned the smile and approached her.
"You were right."
Elena laughed, a look of pure excitement on her face.
"I knew it. It's perfect, right?"
Caroline nodded. "It is."
She walked over to the table on which she'd left her purse. She opened it and took out her cell phone.
"Where are Damon and Stefan?"
Elena shrugged. "I don't know. Probably still searching the whole town for me. They were here earlier, but I made sure they didn't see me."
Caroline gave her friend a suggestive smile. "How about we let them search a little longer?"
Elena laughed again, apparently very happy with her new accomplice.
Caroline dialed Stefan's number.
He picked up immediately. Raising her index finger in a silencing motion, she feigned a strained and broken tone of voice.
"Caroline? Where are you? Are you okay? I've tried calling you a thousand times."
She let out a sob. "I'm okay."
Both girls grinned at each other.
"It's… Elena. She doesn't know I'm calling, but I found her. We're- We're on the road. She's driving south but right now we stopped and she-" She sobbed again, taking a moment to accentuate her supposed pain. "She stopped and she's feeding on someone right now. And I can't take it anymore. Stefan, you have to help me."
"I'll call Damon. We're coming."
Caroline gave Elena a pointed look, motioning for her to take the phone.
Luckily Elena was smart enough to understand her intentions.
Elena grabbed the phone. "No!" Caroline made her best efforts to put as much desperation into her voice as possible.
"Well, guess who's been going behind my back," Elena spoke into the phone. "I suppose there's going to be a change of plans then. Good luck finding us."
Then she hung up and both girls broke out in laughter.
Caroline took the now furiously ringing cell phone from Elena and switched it to mute.
"How about we have our own private little prom, then?"
Elena nodded and offered Caroline the bottle.
She took it and downed a huge slug.
Elena sauntered over to the stereo and turned it on, music blasting from the speakers.
Caroline opened her arms and laughed again.
Both of the girls started dancing.
"You look terrible!" Elena remarked.
"Oh, I know. Maybe we'll have to grant a visit to the vervein-free Salvatore bathrooms later."
Elena moved towards the corpse of Caroline's mother.
"You know, maybe I actually like the touch of blood you gave to your outfit."
Caroline raised her eyebrows suggestively and followed.
Elena grabbed Liz' shoulders, pushed her upwards into her lap and in one swift, inhumanly fast motion buried her fangs in her neck.
She was making a mess, not bothering to keep the blood off her face.
Maybe this was supposed to shock her, to test her, but all it did was give her further insight into the settings of the situation life had graciously granted her.
Elena stood up and Caroline gave her assuring, wicked smile.
"Ugh, dead," she remarked and started dancing again.
Caroline joined her, handing her the bottle. "Maybe we could actually do a road trip later. Find some vervein free village. Travel."
Elena nodded. "How about Europe?"
Suddenly Caroline burst out in laughter. "Rome, Paris, Tokyo!"
Elena raised her eyebrows. "What about that?"
Caroline shrugged, mirth in her eyes. "Klaus wanted to take me."
Suddenly, Elena's interest was piqued. She flashed to the stereo and turned it down a little.
"Now, Care. You have to tell me about it. I was right, wasn't I? You want to fuck him, do you?"
Caroline smiled widely and laughed, twirling around. "Oh, YES, I do!"
Elena grinned smugly, obviously proud of her insight.
"You know. I was right. You're so much more fun than Rebekah. I'm glad I did it. We're gonna have so much fun – and we're free. We don't have to care about Damon and Stefan anymore."
She stepped forward and licked her lips. "They're pretty easy to trick, actually."
Caroline nodded, smiling. "I know. Every plan they ever have goes absolutely wrong. They're decision making skills are a disaster. I'm impressed with the fact that they're still alive."
Elena dropped herself to the floor and took another slug of her drink.
"But they're hot."
Caroline sat down beside her, shrugging. "Klaus is hotter."
Elena turned her head, almost a little surprised but giddy with excitement. "You really got it bad for him, do you?"
Caroline grabbed the drink from Elena's hands and shook her head, laughing. "No. He's got it bad for me. I don't care about anything anymore. But I have to say – I can't wait to tap that ass."
Elena nodded appreciatively while Caroline took a slug.
"That's the spirit. I'm so glad you're over yourself, Care. Your stupid, annoying self-righteous humanity-bullshit drove me insane."
Elena raised her eyebrows. "I can say the same about you."
Elena shrugged, then nodded. "Guess so. It's really better this way. Too bad Bonnie can't be with us."
Caroline drank again and stared off into the room. "She'd have been a fabulous vampire. The whole witch-business was doing nothing but damage to her, anyway. Fuck the spirits."
Elena laughed, leaning forward, took the bottle and took a huge swig. "Fuck the spirits!"
Caroline smiled a calm smile.
When Elena put down the bottle with a thud, Caroline grabbed both of her arms with one hand and locked them behind her back, pushing her forward. Her other arm was wrapped around Elena's neck, holding her in a headlock. She had her pinned, she was stronger, and there was no way to escape. Elena struggled against her grip but failed.
"What the fuck, Care! I'm gonna kick your ass for this!"
Caroline placed her lips near Elena's left ear, making sure she couldn't move her head by grasping her chin tightly.
"How about we see what the spirits think about your attitude in afterlife?"
Elena froze.
"The fact that you didn't see this coming is just another piece of evidence pointing out just how stupid you are. Not that I needed any."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Seriously, Elena. Tell me – you always thought you were better than me, did you?"
Elena let out a dry laugh, struggling against her grip again. No chance, she was a multitasker.
"Because I am."
She tightened her grip.
"And that's where you're wrong. You know, for the longest of times, I thought so, too. You were always the center of attention, inherently good but self-confident. Everyone always picked you over me."
"You think I don't know that? You think I don't know what an insecure, neurotic bitch you are? I told you and I mean it! 'I need to look perfect. This piece of decoration is not in place, I need to fix it or the world will collapse'." She snickered.
Caroline laughed, too, then leaned in farther again.
"Right. But then things happened. And surprisingly, I walked out of each and every single catastrophe stronger than before. And what did you do? You went right down the drain, spiraling out of control until you couldn't take it anymore. You know, when I turned, I was alone. I didn't even know what was happening to me. I mastered compulsion the night I was turned without even knowing what it was." She lowered her hand towards Elena's throat and gripped it tightly, keeping her from making a sound. She choked and struggled again with more force but failed.
"Bonnie hated me. Damon tried to kill me. My own parents hated me."
Elena didn't stop struggling but Caroline's grip was as hard as steel.
"You, you had everyone around you accepting what you were. You had three vampires to help you and a witch. A brother." Her smile brightened. "But you messed it up. Because you wanted that fucking stupid cure, he died. You had no problem committing genocide to get it. And you want to tell me you were selfless?" She laughed out loudly.
"Damon abused me, fed on me, tried to kill me twice and you think I am a bad friend for disagreeing with your relationship with him?! You even MAKE FUN OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?" She put controlled pressure on Elena's wrists, breaking bone. Elena let out a strangled wail.
"You wanted to be a writer, right? Now, let me tell you something. Nobody wants to read your shit. You're dull. And that is, what I found out. That's your secret.
It's always the smart people that suffer. Always the intelligent ones that doubt themselves. And your self-confidence? It comes from a place of ignorance."
"I however, know exactly who I am and what I can do. I am better than you. I've always been. But even when I started to realize that I was too kind to show it to you, and I took your shit. I always took everyone's shit but now I'm done with that. And do you know why I did it? Do you know why I made my place under your thumb? Because I was too fucking good at humanity, too. It took the three people I love the most to die in one night in order for me to turn off my humanity."
She transformed into her vampire face and brought her hand back up to Elena's chin, holding her jaw shut in place.
"Do you know why I'm telling you all this? Because you are my stepping stone, the thing I need to kill in order to move on and fulfill my potential. I will leave all this behind with you, I don't need it anymore. I don't need anything anymore."
Without warning she bit down on her neck, hard. Elena struggled against her grip again, ferociously but she didn't stand a chance. Caroline drained her, mercilessly, until she nearly lost her consciousness.
"Thank you, prom night was just wonderful," she whispered into her ear, smearing blood on her cheek.
She released her head and Elena fell forward like a ragdoll, only held halfway upright by the grip on her wrists.
"Goodbye, Elena," she whispered, then she placed her hand under her left shoulder blade and forced it inside, through her rip cage, until her searching fingers found the frantically beating heart. She ripped it out, watching her hand leave the hole in Elena's back, that wouldn't heal now, not anymore.
Mesmerized she stared at it – it had almost been too easy.
This was how it felt to rip out a heart.
A rush of power overcame her, satisfaction.
She looked down at Elena's mutilated body, the wound on her neck hadn't had enough time to heal.
Unceremoniously, she dropped the heart down beside it.
Then she turned around, grabbed her purse and, without sparing anything in the room a second glance, left.
New Orleans, it was.