She woke up with a gasp, eyes fluttering wide open, sitting up from her lying position in inhuman speed.
Her heart hammered in her chest like a drilling machine and she felt alive, awake, thirsty.
She looked around and took in the surroundings.
She was in Klaus' living room, right.
He was standing beside her, just having gotten up from his armchair. She looked up at him as her brain processed the information.
She could see, she could feel and smell and taste everything with a renewed intensity. There was still some of his blood left on her tongue and this time it felt how it was supposed to feel. The most delicious thing in the world, not a stale metallic taste. She took a deep breath and look down at her hands. They were not shaking.
She was strong again.
A mixture of relief and happiness washed over her and she let out a small laugh. The time she'd spend a human seemed like a dull memory now. She was back to normal, back to how she should be.
But there was one thing that still needed to be done.
The hunger.
He was smiling down at her as her watched her accustoming to the situation.
"How are you feeling, love?"
She smiled back up at him, pulling her legs down from the couch and herself into a sitting position, eager to fulfill the last part of the ritual.
He offered her a glass filled with blood.
Immediately her vampire face emerged and she saw a mixture of surprise and awe on his face.
Swiftly, she grabbed the glass and gulped down all of it in one slug.
She let out a moan as she felt the liquid slide down her throat, unable to control herself.
This was the best, the best feeling she knew. Ecstasy.
She wouldn't want to miss this. Ever.
And now the last step was taken and she was entirely and absolutely back to herself.
A vampire.
She laughed again and then halted. Wait a moment, this was kind of an overreaction. Heightened emotions, right.
Judging from the last time it would most likely take a few days to get used to this.
She looked back up at him.
"More," she said and then she spotted the carafe on the coffee table. It was filled with blood.
He already had it in his hands before she could even try to reach it and once again her glass was filled to the brim with the thing she desired the most right now.
She drank, this time taking her time, savoring every single sip of bliss.
This was better.
This time was so much better than the first time.
When she was done she took the carafe from him and he sat down beside her, watching her as she devoured all of it greedily.
When she was done she put both the glass and the carafe down on the table.
She took a deep breath. She was sated. At least for now.
But she was exhilarated, delighted by the second chance she'd been gifted with, the taste of the blood still lingering on her tongue, her newfound clarity about who exactly she was and who she wanted to be. He had been right.
She turned towards him, smiling.
"Thank you," she said and his smile broadened. In his eyes she saw a flicker of wonder, just like the last time she had thanked him, when he had saved her from Alaric.
"Always," he answered and this time it didn't feel awkward at all. It felt warm and beautiful – wait, stupid heightened emotions. She needed to keep herself in check.
"So you've actually done it, something decent for once, without anything in return."
First she saw a flicker of resentment in his eyes, but it died down.
"I suppose," he answered.
"I guess we're even now," she muttered, leaning back into the couch, enjoying the feel of the fabric on her skin in a whole new, old, perfect manner.
He raised his eyebrows.
"I saved you and you saved me," she explained, gesturing with her hands to support her words.
He chuckled. "Well, that sounds about right."
She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment.
She was feeling just right.
Maybe this whole thing had only led to her being able to appreciate this more now.
The last time it had been a shock, unexpected, something she had to deal with before she finally came to enjoy the perks of being a vampire.
At the memory, she felt an overbearing sadness overcome her.
Before she could even begin to control it she felt tears rising up in her eyes.
Elena had shoved the cure down her throat. Elena had tried to kill her.
Her best friend had tried to kill her.
She raised her hands to her face, desperately trying to get the tears off her face.
No, no, not here, not now.
"Caroline?"
"No, it's okay, it's just heightened emotions," she sniffled, still trying to stop the crying. But it was like there was a weight in her chest, dragging her down.
Just like the last time she had turned.
I'm a monster.
Her eyes widened and she couldn't stop the tears anymore, sitting up.
"I killed someone."
He looked at her, frowning, obviously worried.
Then realization hit her.
"I killed twelve people."
His eyes widened in shock and immediately her mind made the connection to the moment that followed.
She wanted to turn away, to run but before she could he pulled her into an embrace.
She didn't even protest.
The force of the emotions she was feeling was simply too much. Guilt, fear, shame, hurt, never, never good enough. She cringed, the revulsion she was feeling with herself and the world and everyone in it making her feel kind of nauseated.
There was no way she could control herself right now.
That only made it worse.
Then she felt his hands, caressing up and down her back.
It made it better, a little bit at least.
"I'm a monster," she pressed out, unable to keep herself from voicing how she felt. The words fell from her lips like something vile and rotten.
He groaned. "No. You're not." He sighed, obviously struggling with himself.
"You are the vampire farthest away from being a monster that I know – and trust me love, I've known quite a lot."
She shook her head.
No.
"I'm just as bad as everybody else."
She had had a chance to be human again, to lead a live that didn't include killing people. But she had bailed.
She saw the face of her father, judging her, disappointed by her.
'You'll never be okay again, you're a vampire.'
She let out another sob.
"My father hates me." She felt Klaus freeze.
"I had a chance to live up to his expectations and I failed."
Another sob racked through her and he pulled her closer.
"Nobody in their right mind would consider you a failure."
She just cried, unable to say or think of any coherent response.
Despite all this, she knew she still didn't want to die, to be human. This was harsh reality, painful but true.
She'd been trying to hide behind her humanity, she had been in denial of the fact that she and all of her friends had long since slipped into the realm of the morally grey. She was not innocent anymore, there was blood on her hands. Hell, she needed blood to survive.
And there was still a part of her that was repulsed by that fact, that didn't want to hurt anyone, ever.
"I'm a terrible person."
He let out another deep breath, obviously struggling with himself.
She felt him gulp. "I apologize," he whispered and it almost broke her out of her pain.
Klaus apologizing – that would be a first.
But the pain returned in a wave crashing down at her and she started sobbing again.
Wait, this was not right. These were just heightened emotions, she needed to stop this.
How?
Simple, she'd only have to focus onto something else, something positive and the emotional reaction would change.
She'd focus on the fact that she was being comforted.
Even if it was him.
It actually felt good to be held by him, too good.
She knew that she was attracted to him, she was not stupid and her denial had worn of some time ago. Nonetheless, he was a monster, a murderer, cruel and vicious.
But not to her, he couldn't, never the way he treated other people.
Each time he'd tried he'd failed and ended up trying to make it up to her.
He hadn't been able to let her die.
And he was obviously in love with her. Despite herself, she felt a warm and fuzzy feeling at the thought. She held onto it, desperate to get herself out of the pain and the self-hatred.
Yes, this was okay, they were actually friends. He was trying.
She snuggled closer and he stilled again, but only for an instance, then his hands continued caressing her back.
She sighed and finally felt the tension fade. Instead a sense of peace and calmness engulfed her.
She stayed like this for a while, her eyes closed.
Then she drew back and sat back into the sofa, wiping the tears from her face.
Yes, things were going to be okay.
She looked at him and she saw wonder and vulnerability in his eyes. They always betrayed him, even when he said the vilest things.
She sighed and thought for a moment. She should call Stefan.
But first she needed to settle this.
She smiled at Klaus, still happy about the relief she was feeling.
"Thank you," she said and he gulped again.
"I'm going home now, I'll call Stefan. He will help me with this, just like he did before. And I have a prom to plan."
He nodded, licking his lips.
She got up and he did, too and then he was walking her to the door.
When they reached it she turned around and smiled at him again.
"So- that's it then."
He nodded. "If you… if you need any help you can call me. After all, we're friends now, right?"
She nodded, smiling brighter. "Yes."
He smiled back at her and she felt her heart warm.
Then she turned around but when she was almost out of the door she heard him call out her name, insecurity and an inner struggle evident in his voice.
She turned again, raising her eyebrows in a questioning manner.
He took a deep breath and licked his lips again. "Tyler… will return for prom."
Her eyes widened.
"What?" Happiness spread in her chest.
"I… arranged it. It was supposed to be a surprise but-"
"Thank you!" she squealed, taking a step forward and hugging him enthusiastically.
He chuckled and she let out a small laugh.
She drew back, her excitement evident on her face.
He smiled back at her, genuinely happy.
"Now off you go. And as for prom – save me a dance."
thank you for reading and the amazing response. I've decided to start writing drabbles - leave me requests!