request by ifancyklarolinexx
there you go, love :)
He was seething. She'd never seen him this mad before.
"You told Elijah?"
She scoffed. No, she would definitely not let him intimidate her.
"I didn't really have a choice, you know. You know I'm a bad liar – and also, you should have told him yourself! You can't keep treating your sibling like that, it's no wonder they distrust you," she blurted out, getting angry herself.
He took a deep breath but his eyes were still rabid.
Then he took a threatening step forward, his upper lip almost curled up in a snarl.
"How I treat my family is my business."
She scoffed again, taking a step forward herself.
"Yeah, and obviously you've been very successful with your strategy."
He cocked his head to the left, obviously trying to control his anger.
"It is none of your business."
She threw her arms out in an exasperated gesture. "Yeah, and you think it's gonna work that way? You keep me in the dark about the things that really bug you and only tell me if I pry it out of you! You think that's how a relationship's supposed to work?"
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking another deep breath.
"Because it doesn't, you know?"
He clenched his teeth. "Well, obviously you have proven yourself not to be trustworthy. Why would I tell you anything about my personal matters anytime in the future?"
Her stomach dropped. Not trustworthy.
She shook her head, trying to regain her composure.
"How can you say that? How can you even think that? You have to give me a fucking chance before you decide that shutting me out is the right way!"
"I gave you a chance! And you failed!" he barked at her, the veins on his neck clearly visible.
"Because you were wrong and I wanted to help you!"
"I don't need your help! I don't need anybodies help!"
She took a step closer, almost snarling herself.
"Yeah? Well, you're a fucking social case. You're running around constantly destroying everything you care about until you push it away far enough that it leaves you!"
His teeth clenched and she saw that she had hit home.
For a moment she was genuinely afraid.
Then he gave her one more intense look and turned on his heels, leaving the room, throwing the door shut behind him with such violence that it shook in its angles.
The anger quickly faded and was instead replaced by a feeling of loss and sadness, creating an uncomfortable pull in her stomach. She had to fight tears rising in her eyes.
She couldn't cry here, not with him in the house to hear her.
She'd sleep at a hotel tonight.
When she arrived at the hotel she threw down her bag on the floor and let herself fall on the bed, finally allowing the tears to rise again.
It was so fucking difficult being with him. It was either heaven or hell.
When they were good, when things worked out and he was in a good mood he was gentle, affectionate, so enamored with her that it gave her butterflies every time. It was the best thing she'd ever experienced.
But sometimes he'd just shut her out and these were always the times she knew better than him. And she knew that he knew it. He was like a stubborn child, trying to get his way simply by forcing it on her. And she wasn't having that. But most of all it hurt, not getting through to him.
There was a wall between them and she wasn't going to beg so there was no way to get through to him. It felt like being left out alone in the cold.
She buried her head in the pillow and sobbed quietly, for a moment letting the desperation overcome her.
She couldn't talk about this with his siblings, he'd hate it. She couldn't talk about this with anybody else.
And she couldn't talk about this with him.
But most of all she was afraid to lose him.
The thought was so terrible that she could barely even grasp the idea.
Maybe one day he'd push her away too far and then all this would be over, just because it was his nature, destroying the things he loved.
He would never destroy her, she'd always find a way to get up on her feet again. But still, she just did not want to lose this.
Yes, she'd made a mistake today. First relationship rule 'just because I tell you stuff doesn't mean you're allowed to know it.' – her very own words.
But she'd done it because she finally needed to talk about him to someone. She felt like she was going crazy otherwise. Also, she'd done it to help him.
It wasn't that easy, she knew it, and she had kind of messed up.
But wasn't she allowed to make one little mistake when he was shutting her out all the time?
She continued sobbing, curling up in a fetal position until she finally fell asleep.
She awoke to a noise. Someone was in her room.
Immediately she shot up, into a sitting position, her eyes flying open to spot the intruder.
There was a figure standing before the bed.
Klaus.
She sighed in relief.
Then again, should she be relieved? She looked up at him, trying to make out his expression. What was he doing here?
He looked devastated, raw primal fear in his eyes, staring down at her as if he couldn't quite believe she was there.
She didn't move, suddenly feeling too exhausted to fight.
"You left," he whispered, not moving.
She frowned.
"You left me."
Her eyes widened. What? No!
She shook her head, shooting off the bed in one motion, towards him.
"No. No, I didn't."
He stared down at her, frowning but still in his trance.
"Then why are you here?"
She sighed.
"I just needed to get away for some time."
He seemed to be more in focus now.
"Why?"
She sighed again and sat down on the bed.
"It's just very exhausting sometimes, being with you."
Panic rose in his eyes again, but he gulped it down.
"What do you mean by that precisely?"
She closed her eyes for a moment. Did she want to have that talk right now? On the one hand she was tired. But he seemed so desperate and she really couldn't leave him like this. Also, she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again. But it was a long way to get there.
She motioned for him to sit down beside her and he did, carefully.
"Sometimes you just shut me out." He looked at her, frowning, but trying to take in what she was saying. "And then I have no way to get through to you. And that hurts."
She saw another flicker of emotion in his eyes.
"And I can't even talk about it, to no one. Least of all to you. And sometimes that's just too much but I take it and take it and wait for it to get better and then I just make one single mistake and you throw a fucking tantrum."
His frown deepened.
"I can't do this anymore," she said, "not like this."
The panic rose in his eyes again.
"And what do you suggest I do about that?"
She turned towards him, raising her eyebrows.
Suddenly he leant forward, his thumb touching her cheek underneath her eye.
"You've been crying," he whispered, his voice raspy.
She sighed. Melted mascara, great.
"Yes." You weren't supposed to see.
"I'm sorry."
Okay, this came as a surprise. Apologies weren't exactly his speciality.
She shook her head and licked her lower lip. "Sometimes it's just like you are two different people. You might be nice right now but tomorrow you might just shut me out again."
He closed his eyes for a moment.
"I've never done this before. I don't know how to."
"It's not that difficult, really. You just have to let me in."
He gulped. "But every pore in my body screams for me to get away."
Oh. This was news. This was progress.
"So you're afraid."
He licked his lips and nodded.
"You don't need to be afraid of me. You can trust me."
He raised his eyebrows. "Can I, though? You could leave me tomorrow."
"That's always the case, with everybody! And no, I won't. At least not if you try and change this. I don't want to lose you. I am investing everything in this relationship and I don't want that to be all for nothing. But I can't keep living in misery."
There was water in his eyes.
After some time he finally pressed out some words.
"But you would. If I took it too far one day, you would leave."
She nodded.
"Yes."
She saw a tear stream down his face as he looked away.
"And if you loved me you would want that to me."
His eyes widened and he looked back at her.
She nodded. "Yes. You would want me to be happy, more than you would want yourself to be happy."
His frown deepened.
"You want me to want for you to leave me."
She rolled her eyes. "No, dumbass. I want you to stop wasting this relationship with your paranoia. I want you to care enough about making me happy to jump over your own shadow."
He stared back at her, motionless.
She looked down to her lap, then reached out and grabbed his hand in hers. He took a sharp breath and then their eyes met again.
"Because I do, you know. I want to make you happy. I love you."
His eyes widened and time stood still for a moment.
She'd said it, finally.
She hadn't planned on doing it now but somehow it had just fit.
She caressed his hand, reassuringly.
"So get your grip together and make this as good as it can be."
He broke out of his trance, then nodded and then suddenly he'd pulled her in, his lips on hers and his arms around her and with a sigh of relief she melted into him. He kissed her, gently but firmly and the butterflies took over again. Finally.
Then he drew back, and pulled her onto the bed, lying down beside her, facing her. He was back in control again.
"I love you, too."
A wave of bliss overcame her and she pulled him in for a kiss again.
Who would have thought that such a night could bring so much happiness in the end.