I screamed in frustration and knocked everything off my counters. Several containers smashed on the floor. It wasn't enough. I was still angry. I opened the cupboard doors and threw everything I could find, plates, cups, and bowls. Glass was getting everywhere and my hands were bleeding. I could feel hot tears streaming down my face and I began to feel the slightest bit better. At least I didn't feel like breaking things anymore. I looked up and realized Haymitch was gone and the room was beginning to darken as the sun went down. The kitchen was now an even bigger mess, but I didn't feel like cleaning it up just yet.
A sadness began to settle in me. They were giving me a new doctor. They were going to pump me full of drugs and who knows what else. I had angered Katniss by insulting her mother and now she would probably never speak to me again. What was wrong with me? I looked down at the ground and picked up a sharp piece of glass. I walked upstairs and locked the bedroom door behind me. I walked to the window and looked over at Katniss's house. Her bedroom light was on and her window was open as usual. I turned away from the window. It was time to end this. It was time to end all the misery. I took the glass shard and brought it against my wrist. I slowly made the line across my wrist and then took it to the other wrist. The blood poured out easily and it felt like all my troubles were leaving me.
"Peeta!" Katniss screamed. It sounded like she was downstairs. I could hear her frantically climbing my stairs.
"Peeta!" She yelled and banged on the door. "Peeta open the door!"
"You're too late," I whispered. It was meant to come out as a yell, but that seemed to be all that I could manage. My body slumped to the floor just as she forced the door open.
"Peeta!" I could still hear her yelling, but I was incapable of moving or speaking.
"Peeta don't leave me," She whispered and her tears dripped onto my face. Then there was darkness.
….
I opened my eyes and couldn't remember where I was. I bolted upright in the bed and looked around frantically. I got out of bed, but immediately fell forgetting that I need my prosthetic leg.
"Peeta!" Katniss yelped and ran to help me off the floor. She helped me back onto the bed and wiped my hair out of my face. I just stared at her.
"Why did you save me? I wanted to die," I said and continued to stare at her with my blank expression.
"You should be thanking me," She said through gritted teeth. I pulled away from her.
"Thank you?! Why should I thank you? All you did was damn me to stay in this hell hole of a life! You didn't do me any favors!" I yelled at her. She looked hurt and I regretted what I said immediately after it came out of my mouth. I used to be so good with words. What happened? She glared at me and left slamming the door behind her. I sighed heavily. When would this cycle of us fighting and slamming doors end? I looked down at my bandaged wrists and sighed again.
"What the hell are you doing?" I didn't have to look up to know it was Haymitch.
"Screwing my life up clearly," I replied.
"Why'd you do it, Peeta?" He asked. There was no accusation in his voice just pure curiosity.
"I wanted to be done. I didn't want any more doctors. I didn't want any more fights or anyone else to get hurt, but it looks like I just failed at that one," I said and ran my hand through my messy hair.
"Do you know what you mean to that girl?" He asked.
"I'd guess I'm absolutely nothing. I might be even worse off than Snow and Coin," I said. Haymitch let out a quick laugh.
"You're so stupid. That girl loves you. You're the only one she loves anymore," He said, "She was so panicked last night she couldn't even bandage your wrists." I looked down at the bandages with confusion.
"Then how?" I asked slightly confused.
"I did that the best I could," He said, "You wouldn't stop bleeding. It just kept soaking through the bandages and she kept screaming and crying and holding onto you so tight I was afraid she would crush you. When you tell her you wanted to die she feels guilty."
"Guilty?" I asked.
"She feels responsible for everything. For the war, the hell we endured, for every negative thought you have," Haymitch explained. I shook my head.
"I don't think she's ready to talk to me yet," I said.
"No, I imagine she's not," He agreed.
"I will fix this," I said.
"You better."
…
The days passed as they did before I was taken away by the Capital. I fell back into a routine of baking, visiting Haymitch, and painting. Every night Katniss would cry out in her sleep for either her sister or for me. I wanted so badly to go to her, but she wouldn't that.
"PEETA!" I bolted awake from the scream of my name. I sighed as I realized it was just Katniss having another nightmare.
"PEETA!" She screamed again, but it sounded different. It didn't sound like she normally did when she was sleeping.
"PEETA!" Another scream pierced the air and this time I didn't hesitate. I jumped out of bed and ran not bothering to put shoes or a shirt on. I turned the knob on her front door, but it was locked. Katniss let out another scream for me and I broke through the door.
"Katniss!" I yelled.
"Peeta!" She called back and there was some relief in her voice. I bolted up the stairs and found her sitting in her bed, her eyes wide in fear.
"What's wrong Katniss?!" I said and crossed the room to her. I pushed her hair out of her face and stared into her eyes. She took a couple deep breaths and then pointed across the room. Sitting on her dresser was a single white rose.
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