I left the studio and headed toward Billy's house. The campfire was going and I guess it was the pack that were sitting around the fire.

"You're late." Sam said as a hello.

I didn't pay attention but sat down away from everyone and glared at Billy.

"Do you want something to eat?" Billy asked me. When he saw I didn't flinch he started talking.

I watch Billy's lips intently as he speaks about the Quileute tribe and our ancestry. Billy told me about the spirit warriors, Chief Taha Aki, the sacrifice of his third wife, and of my great-grandfather Ephraim Black. Billy stopped and looked at me. I sat there with no emotion. A cruel life can do that to you. I learned long ago it's better not to feel anything; I learned how to rid myself of my emotions. At least that's what I thought until I saw the man from earlier flash in my head. This was dangerous; feelings started to resurface in my body and mind as if I had no control over it. I shook my head slightly and looked back at Billy; just focus.

I looked at him waiting for more information. He told me about a girl named Bella, the Cullen family, Victoria, and the newborn army. It turns out Bella is now engaged to one of the Cullen's and Jacob ran from home when he heard the news.

"Lani, you can stay in his room."

I felt a chill and couldn't tell if it was from the invitation or the cool night air that was settling around us. I looked at Billy and started to get up to leave. Like hell I would stay here. Sam ran in front of me and stopped me.

"Billy's talking to you."

I turned around and looked at him exasperatedly.

"Lani, I'm sorry I couldn't find you. I'm sorry it took me so long." He said searching my eyes for forgiveness, understanding. I scribbled something down and handed him the notebook.

Lani:
Nine years; nine years!
You were too late, the damage was already done.
I don't need you anymore.

Everyone looked expectantly at Billy to clue them in but he didn't. He couldn't as tears started to roll from his eyes.

"You can't leave; it is your duty to protect our tribe." Sam said.

I reached back behind me and Billy placed the notebook in my hand.

Lani:
Why should I protect something that never protected me?

Sam read it aloud and looked at me angrily and a bit confused. I didn't need my ears to know that he was growling. Sam looked behind me at Billy.

"She can't just walk away from her duty." He said to Billy. No doubt, countering something Billy had said. I turned to see the elders look to Billy. He raised his head and looked at me.

"Lani, you may not need us but we need you. I need you."

Lani:
Get ready for disappointment because that's all that I got when I needed you.

Billy read the note and looked at me tiredly.

"Look, I don't know what happened between you two but you have to stay that's an order!" Sam said getting more irritated.

I looked at him dumfounded. Who was he to order me around? For some reason he looked at me perplexed.

"It doesn't work, Sam, she can't hear." Billy said as he looked at me.

I gave a confused look at both of them but decided I didn't want to know what was going on. I started to leave when Leah ran up in front of me.

"You weren't the only one in pain. He really did try to find you. When he found out that your dad moved without telling him he asked Charlie to locate him. No matter how hard Charlie tried you father was always one step ahead. You weren't there to see them cry for having lost you. I was." Leah said angrily. "Rachel and Rebecca would be crying to find out where there cousin had gone. While Sara, Billy, and Charlie searched high and low. The day Sara died…" Leah stopped and looked behind me. I turned to see Billy shaking his head. I grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her to continue. She pushed me back and tears fell from her face. "The day her car crashed was the day Charlie phoned to say he found out where you were. She was on her way to get you." Leah stopped and looked at me, while I tried to grasp the information. "How does it feel to have killed both you mother and your aunt?" Sue came up from behind and slapped Leah.

"I raised you to be better than this." Sue said with anger on her face. I remember Sue and for her to get angry took a lot. She never got angry as far as I could remember.

"She needs a reality check." Leah explained rubbing her cheek. "She is not the only one who got the short end of the stick. My dad died but you don't see me using that as an excuse to run away."

I turned to Billy and looked at him, grabbing the notebook.

Lani:
Is it true? Did she die trying to come get me?

"It wasn't your fault." Billy said after he read the note. "I don't blame you. When she got the call she we were ecstatic. She didn't want to come pick me up but was determined to go right from the store to get you. She said she couldn't leave you another minute with your father."

Lani:
Why didn't you try to keep me from him?

"Lani, we didn't know how deep his hatred was for you. That is until Charlie went to your old house and inquired the neighbors as to what happened to you two. He went to the police station and read the full report." Billy looked down and took a breath. "If we had known that was hurting you we wouldn't have let you go."

Tears were falling from my eyes. I couldn't look at Billy as he started to roll his chair toward me. He reached for my hand but I pulled it away. I shook my head trying to clear what my thoughts were. I scribbled down what I thought on a paper, handed it to him and ran. As I ran I phased and let my paws sink deep into the ground. Pounding the earth as hard as I could. As I neared the studio from the thick forest I looked around cautiously and phased back. I ran quickly toward the door and locked it behind me. I grabbed the blanket that the renter had lent me and curled myself in it, sobbing myself to some form of sleep.

CAMPSITE

Billy looked at the paper and hung his head low. Sue came up and tried to give him some reassurance but all she could do was clasp his shoulder. He dropped the notebook as Sue motioned for Sam to help bring him inside. The rest of the pack watched, some confused and some hurt.

"Damn Leah, you didn't have to be so hard on her." Seth said as he went to the notebook trying to find the last entry.

"Yeah Leah." Quil said as he stood by Seth, trying to help him find the page. "She's pretty good." He mumbled as they came across sketches of people in her notebook. The rest gathered around except Leah.

"Bite me." Leah said as her only defense. "You were a baby Quil when she had last visisted. You don't know or remember anything about her."

"We know this much." Embry said somberly. "She really hates herself, now possibly more than ever."

Leah looked at them confused as Seth handed her the last entry Lani had written.

Lani:
You should hate me!
I killed your sister and your wife.
My father was right!
I really am a damned monster.