I was going to clean up some parts of this chapter, but I'm just too tired to read over it yet again. So here ya go!
What had begun as a not entirely unpleasant surprise visit had become their routine. Every night after the sun had set on the Jedi Temple, Asajj would slip through his window, her silent arrival unnoticed by all but the Jedi meditating at the foot of his bed. Sometimes she would join him on the floor, but not in meditation. Not a word would be spoken; anyone who happened to see them would think that Obi-Wan was blissfully ignorant of her presence. But he was indeed very much aware. He would remain silent and unmoving while she studied him; he found her scrutiny oddly comforting, probably because he could feel how calm and at ease she was through the Force when she observed him. It was such a small thing to concede and anything that helped put her mind at peace was a step he was willing to take.
When the silence would finally break, they would talk. Asajj had been reluctant to talk very much about herself in the beginning, so Obi-Wan did most of the talking. While she would help herself to the food he would bring for her (mostly fruits and buts that he could easily conceal in the folds of his robe), he would tell her about his time as a Padawan under the tutelage of Qui-Gon Jinn. At first she would seem to only listen halfheartedly, but then she would ask questions. What did Qui-Gon look like? Was he a good Master? Did Obi-Wan learn his flippancy and "humorless wit" (as she playfully called it) from him? The questions had become more frequent and curious with each passing night. But more than that, she steadily grew more physically at ease.
On her third visit, the first after she had revealed the origin of the single earring she still wore, she had kept herself as far from him as possible. But each time she stole into the Temple she allowed the space between them to shrink. The first time Obi-Wan touched her since the long-time tension had finally broken she'd flinched, but allowed him to continue examining the scars that dotted her arm. "They still look painful," he'd said plaintively.
"Not anymore." His concern had truly touched her, but she'd be damned before she let him know that. Although he was being incredibly gentle, his fingers on her skin had quickly become unbearable; only one other person had ever looked at her with such compassion, and the thought had torn open the wound in her heart yet again. She'd pulled her arm away and quickly put some distance between them. She didn't deserve any compassion or sympathy from anyone anymore, let alone this man (although that didn't stop her from craving such kindness). She'd responded with the only way she'd ever known how to deal with emotions: anger. "I don't want your pity, Kenobi. So keep your Jedi sympathies to yourself." He'd backed off, a touch of sadness on his face. Asajj had mentally kicked herself for falling back into old habits. The rest of the night had passed amicably enough, Obi-Wan telling her of Master Fisto's latest exploits, but the tension had come back.
Until the following night when she'd returned with a small half-smile and a sarcastic greeting on her lips.
That was how it went for a while, each meeting punctuated with by the proverbial two-steps-forward-one-step-back dance they'd turned into an art form. Halfway through Obi-Wan's final week of hiatus had seen Asajj tentatively perched on the edge of his bed only to find herself stretched out in front of him, foot to head, by dawn.
The next night, she had done the unthinkable: she'd curled up at his side and drawn his arm across her waist, a move that had stunned the Jedi into uncharacteristic silence. "If I'd known it was this easy to shut you up I'd have tried it a long time ago," she'd quipped with a laugh that only barely trembled in anxiousness. She had made a bold move in the dejarik game that had become their peculiar relationship, and she waited for him to push her away in disgust. But he never did. In fact, he hadn't mentioned the oddness of it or even offered a witty remark. He simply let it be. He could feel her soul crying out for sanctuary (I just want to feel safe, just for a moment.). If simple closeness was what would help keep her from retreating back into her hardened shell, then so be it. Being a "bleeding heart" as she called him, he simply gathered her into his arms and accepted it.
He told her of one particularly embarrassing incident as a Padawan when he had inadvertently insulted the ruler of Naxom V, an Outer Rim planet with a fledgling democracy hoping to become part of the Republic Senate. "This child came up to me," he said, Asajj flush against his side, "and asked…demanded, actually, to know who I was. I said I was a Jedi and waiting for the king of Naxom to show up so that Qui-Gon and I could negotiate a treaty between the planet and the Republic. I said, 'Why don't you find your parents and leave the politics to the adults, young lady.' Qui-Gon just stared at me as if I'd suddenly grown a second head. How was I supposed to know that the child was actually a boy and the Crown King of Naxom V?" He paused when he felt Asajj shaking beside him, her head turned down on his shoulder and one hand over her mouth. "I'm glad you find it so amusing, Asajj. Qui-Gon certainly didn't."
That only made her laugh harder. Although embarrassed by the memory, Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile. He'd never heard her laugh with such innocence, such genuine mirth. In that moment he made a small promise to himself: to make her laugh like that again at least once, even if it was once again at his expense. "I don't know why I'm laughing so hard," she gasped between breaths. "It's really not that funny!" Obi-Wan stayed quiet, the small smile still on his lips as he watched her. "I always had a feeling that you were just as obnoxious as a Padawan as you are now." He certainly couldn't argue with that; actually, he had been a difficult youth, always headstrong and quick to temper. It was only Qui-Gon's training and, unfortunately, his death that had forced him to put that anger under a tight rein until he had finally learned to let go.
When Asajj finally calmed down and caught her breath, she wiped the tears from her eyes and resituated herself against him. "That felt good. I haven't laughed like that in so long, not since Master Narec."
Ah, the mysterious Ky Narec. "He made you laugh often?"
She shrugged. "Sometimes, but I mostly did it just to humor him. He had a love for telling the most awful jokes. He always got a sad look on his face when no one else found them funny, so I did what I could to make him feel better." Her silver eyes grew distant, lost in the fond memories of her Master.
"What kinds of jokes?" Obi-Wan whispered.
Asajj snapped out of her memories at the sound of his voice; she'd almost forgotten where she was and who was with her. She thought for a moment, then decided there would be no harm in sharing. "This one was one of his favorites.
"Two men walk into a cantina. The first says to the bartender, 'I'll have an H two O'. The second says, 'I'll have an H two O, too'. The second man dies."
Silence. Then they both erupted into laughter, mainly at how truly absurd the joke was. Obi-Wan thought of how nice the moment was, to have Asajj in his arms, laughing for what was surely the first time in years, and her shattered heart slowly repairing itself…all because she now had someone who truly cared about her, whether right or wrong. He couldn't simply leave someone so broken to fend for herself, in spite of her blood-soaked past. It simply wasn't in his nature, especially if he could do something to help.
Their laughter ebbing, Obi-Wan ran a hand down her arm and let out a soft breath of relief when she didn't flinch. "I never had the honor of meeting Master Narec. What was he like?"
The tiny shadow of worry that she would push him away, both physically and metaphorically, dissipated when she began to talk. She started at the beginning, using her hands animatedly to emphasize her points.
Narec had first swooped into her life as she'd fought off Weequay raiders with nothing more than the Force, something she hadn't understood at the time and even now only barely comprehended. She lingered on anecdotes of the kindness Narec had always shown her. At such a young age, she had already been a war orphan, a Nightsister, and a slave. She had never thought of a future beyond each sunset…until Master Narec showed her that there could be more to life, the she could be so much more than just another tragic tale in the grand scheme of the universe.
They had fought together to free Rattatak from constant warfare and needless bloodshed. They had become heroes to the common people, a title she had been loath to accept, but had done so at her Master's gentle urging. Sometimes people need a face to put to an ideal to further believe in it. You are the face of their freedom, young one. What harm is there in that?
She spoke of him with such reverence that Obi-Wan was suddenly reminded of Qui-Gon. In his younger days he was often perplexed and annoyed with his Master and his penchant for lost causes (Jar Jar Binks being a prime example). The way Asajj talked, Narec and Qui-Gon would have been the best of friends if given the opportunity. The parallels between the fallen Masters, and now Obi-Wan himself, his former Padawan, and the woman in his arms weren't lost on the Jedi. He idly wondered if the Force was writing them all into some kind of tragic passion play.
Obi-Wan came back to himself when he realized Asajj had stopped talking. Her hands had gone still. And she was currently as stiff as a durasteel beam. "Asajj? Are you alright?"
She curled closer to him, as if she could disappear into herself. "Then…he died."
And now we reach the crux of her pain. His arm instinctively tightened around her shoulders. "How?"
She took a deep breath…and hurriedly removed herself from the bed. "I can't," she whispered, her back to him. The tremor in her voice was heartwrenching.
Obi-Wan stood as well and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I understand, my dear. Some wounds, though years old, are still too raw." He turned her to face him and tilted her head up to meet her eyes; the faint light from the rising sun reflected in the tears she stubbornly refused to let fall. "I won't force you, but you'll have to confront your Master's death if you are to truly heal."
Asajj held his gaze for a moment, then glanced at the window. "Dawn is coming." She didn't want to talk about Master Narec anymore. She could handle the memories of his life, but not his death. She couldn't relive that pain again. Not right now. Not yet.
Obi-Wan knew he would get no further this night, not without risking losing the progress they'd both made together. Time would help her see that he was right (as reluctantly as he was sure she would admit). "So it is," he said lightly, his thumb brushing over her cheek.
She leaned into his palm for the briefest of moments before quickly remembering herself. She shook her head and stepped away from him. She had already allowed herself to get too close to him, and him to her. She needed to maintain distance if she were to remain strong; she would not let herself give into the weakness his touch inspired in her, damnable as it was.
"I have to go." She stepped around him, but froze when his fingers closed around her wrist. She looked back at him, silently demanding an explanation and a reason to not break his hand.
"Asajj, I return to the front in a couple of days. I don't want you to feel that you'll be alone. Will you come back before then?"
Her lips turned up in a sly smile that somehow made Obi-Wan's breath hitch. "Missing me already, darling? As if I'd let you leave without a proper goodbye." She gently pried his hand away and stepped onto the window's ledge in a low crouch. She paused. "I got a lead on a target earlier. Maybe I'll stop by tonight if all goes well."
"One can only hope, my sweet." It was as close to a 'yes' as he was going to get. How typically her.
Another smile, genuine this time, and she disappeared into the Coruscant dawn.
No, the joke Asajj tells is not my own. I saw it floating around Facebook a few times and thought it was funny (oh, nerd humor xD). And Naxom V is not a real planet (in reality or the SW universe). I just needed a throwaway place and that's what popped in my head.