The following days weren't exactly peaceful. The pack was keeping it's distance and Sam had stopped coming around but everything that happened kept replaying in my head.

"She's a liability." Paul's words keep echoing in my head.

I lay on my sleeping bag as those words seemed to get bigger and stronger. Liability, huh? Yup, that's me. I'm liable to cause your deaths. I think bitterly to myself. What was worse was that I couldn't get the image of Emmett glaring at me out of my head. It caused me so much pain that I couldn't sleep. I was tempted to cross the borderline a few times, but was afraid to at the same time.

I went to see Uncle Billy a few times in the past few days. It was weird at first but it was a start and I knew Billy was happy about that. Sometimes he would try to talk to me about nothing in particular other times he would try to talk about the past. In either case I wouldn't answer. I would sit there and let him talk. I could tell he was worried about Jacob even though he would try to hide it from me.

Charlie would come by whenever he would visit Billy. For some reason it was always easier with Charlie. We never had to exchange words we just sort of understood one another. It was refreshing. I'd never seen Bella but apparently she and Edward were still going through with the wedding. Charlie didn't seemed to thrilled but at the same time he seemed to try to make peace with the notion of them getting married. It was a bit heart-wrenching. Here I was fine with being alone and there is Charlie who never wanted to be alone but always seems to end up alone. Life plays tricks like that.

I ran into Sam and the pack a few times but they wouldn't try anything and I, obviously, wouldn't say anything. I think Sam thought that if they ignored me long enough that I would come to them. The thing is that I'm used to being alone, so being shunned by them didn't have an effect on me. I felt that I was starting to go back to my usual self. My emotions were more in check and for that I was grateful. It took me a long time to learn how to feel nothing, no expectations, no hopes, so this was a relief to me.

I woke up to flickering lights lighting my studio. I squinted and rubbed my eyes opened. I opened the door to find Seth standing there.

"Jacob's back." I stared at him and his bright smile gloomily and slammed the door shut.

I lied back down on my sleeping bag and burled myself in it. Not that I was cold, but it was comforting. The lights flickered again and I covered my head with the sleeping bag. The lights flickered, who knew that I would have so many visitors; I sure didn't. Irritated, I threw the blankets off me and answered the door with a scowl. Chenoa, Neal's daughter, stood there with a plate of cookies. She smiled and I could see her two front teeth missing. I squatted down and looked at her. She was wearing a cream sun dress whereas I kept myself covered all the time from head to toe. I reached out for the plate. She entered and sat with a coloring book she brought with her. I sighed and standing up I saw Neil working on a car with Takoda. I guess I was about to wake up anyway. I ended up sketching Neal and his kids a lot more than I wanted to. However, every artist needs a model. For some reason Takoda and Chenoa would invite themselves over more than I cared for. Takoda would try to talk but he never expected a response, whereas Chenoa never spoke to me and that was fine. In fact I found them both more bearable than adults.

I stayed focused on the mural I was doing at Neil's for the next few days. Truth was I didn't want to see Jacob. Uncle Billy was one thing, but now I would have to face the kid that I had taken his mother away from. However, eventually Jacob came by the garage.

"Hey." I was sitting outside sketching out another picture to paint on the other side of Neal's garage. "That's pretty good." I sat there waiting for him to continue. "Sorry I haven't come to see you earlier but...well anyway."

Seth had already come by and told me what happened at Bella's wedding. Jacob had run off for a bit but had returned again. I don't know why that runt puts forth so much effort, but he was getting to be just like Takoda talking none stop. What is it about me that they find so fascinating? However, Seth seemed like a good kid, naïve, but good.

Jacob shuffled a bit waiting for me to write something.

"Yeah, life sucks. I wish I would just die already." Jacob laughed a bit and looked at me. "Rachel's back, what's worse she imprinted on Paul.: He waited for a reaction but sighed when he didn't get one. "Yup, life sucks." He didn't say anything for a while. "Do you want to come over for dinner?"

Lani:
Paul's there remember.

He laughed but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "True, but he has calmed down a lot since he imprinted. I don't know if I should be grateful or not." He shifted uncomfortably and continued. "I heard you imprinted as well. A bloodsucker, really?"

My face flushed and I started to get angry. Why is everything out in the open? I tried to calm down as he waited.

Lani:
I take it you didn't imprint on Bella.

He scowled at me and nodded. "You sure have a way with words don't you. No bullshit, you go straight for the kill. I guess I deserved that though."

Lani:
Why waste paper?

He raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head. "I really wanted to believe I had imprinted on her, but I didn't. You know that Leah used to be with Sam. Everyone thought they would be married but Emily came to visit and POW that was it. Goodbye Leah, hello Emily."

Lani:
Life does suck.

"So, what about you?" I raised my eyebrow at him and waited. "Dad told me you used to visit but he doesn't say anything else. You know he doesn't blame you for Aunt Nola's death. You couldn't help it if..."

I stood up; I didn't need him to tell me this. He grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Lani, I lost my mom too."

Lani:
I hope you find her soon.

"Damn it. What's wrong with you?"

Lani:
We didn't lose our mothers like a pair of keys, Jacob. They died there's a difference.

"Fuck! I'm trying here Lani. I don't know you but you're family. Rachel and Rebecca, even dad, they all won't tell me much about you except that you used to visit and then you didn't. What happened? Why are you hateful toward us?" I concentrated on my breathing as I looked at Jacob. The last summer I came he was just a baby, he wouldn't remember me. I saw the pain in his eyes. It wasn't all for me but I could see he was barely hanging on. I stared at the ground for a bit and began writing on the notepad.

I'm sad she died. Your mom was really awesome. I remember we would help her bake cookies and how we'd fight over who got to lick the spoon. At night, we'd sit outside around a camp fire and she and Uncle Billy would tell us stories. I'm sad you didn't have more time with her.

Jacob stared at the paper drooping his shoulders down. He watched as I took the notepad and wrote something else.

I'm used to being alone, Jacob. I don't trust people, so don't take it personally. If you need to rant and rave I'm here. Apparently, even though I can't hear, people like to talk to me. Right now, that's all I can offer you.

"Sure, sure." He said as he nodded and gave a little smile. "You need to learn how to smile." He nodded and stood up. "By the way, thanks for visiting dad while I was gone." He looked at the ground and then back up. "I read the letter." I looked at him shocked but realized that it was only a matter of time and nodded at him. "We don't blame you, I want you to know that." I nodded as he waved bye.

A few hours later Jacob was back seething with anger. He didn't get off his motorbike which looked rather small for his big frame.

"Bella's back! Sam doesn't want to attack. He goes on about our duty but turns into a coward when the time comes." He looks away and turns back to me. "I'm going over there, to the Cullen's house."

Lani:
What happened?

"Sam called for an emergency pack meeting." Jacob said anger seething from every fiber of his body. "Anyway, Charlie called and apparently Edward and Bella are back. They told Charlie that she's sick. I can't believe Sam doesn't want to do anything."

Lani:
She made her choice, this day was inevitable.

"Will you cut the crap? I mean do you even know...forget it."

Lani:
Why are you telling me this? For support or for me to give you a reason to not go?

"Damned if I know. That's my Bella, I..." He hit the handle bar of his bike and I was amazed it didn't break.

Lani:
She's not yours.

Jacob looked at me in anger. "Forget it." He revved up the bike and took off. I see Neil wave to him but doesn't receive a return wave. He walks up to me and takes a seat.

"Problems?" Neal asked as he picked up the sketch drawings that made it in the junk pile. "That kid seems to be going through a lot." He said un-crumpling the drawings and looking at them. "Billy said he was visiting family, but Charlie swung by with missing ads about a month or so ago. I know how much you love people, but Jacob's a good kid. Helped in my garage a few times during the summer. Maybe you could take it easy on him." I glared at Neal but he wasn't fazed by it. "Not everything's trash." He said taking the drawings that I meant to throw away.

I watch him head into the garage and look at the road that Jacob took. I sighed getting up and head toward the forest. A part of me is excited at the prospect of seeing Emmett the other is afraid of getting more involved with everyone here.