My eyes open slowly as I start to wake up. Jacob's words echo in my head as I shake my fur and sit up. I realize that I'm not alone. I look at him as he stands at attention in front of me.
"I figure you could use the sleep." Jasper says as he hands me some clothes.
I walk behind a boulder and change. Jasper looks at me strangely. I grab a stick and write.
Lani:
What?
Jasper looks at me oddly and shakes his head a bit. "It's just; it seems you lost more weight. Are you okay?"
Aside from feeling tired and weak at the moment I felt fine. I shrug and nod at him.
Lani:
How long have I been asleep?
"Five hours." He answers. "Esme thought it was best if we tried to find you. Carlisle was worried that something might happen to you. Plus, Esme has food waiting for you."
Lani:
You found me. You can call off the search
hounds, but I'm not going back.
He scoffs. "Already did." He says still remaining in defense mode. I can tell he is wary of me. "I can relate."
I look at him skeptically with a raised eyebrow.
"When I found Alice we came to the Cullen's. I had to learn to become a 'vegetarian.'"
I looked at him confused.
"Instead of drinking human blood, we drink animal blood." I nodded slowly not knowing how I felt about this since I was in a sense an animal. "Don't worry." He smiles. "I won't be tempted to eat you. Your scent."
My scent? I look down at my clothes in horror and can't help but smell them...laundry detergent, fabric softener, and dead flesh. I cross my eyes as my nose hair stings at the latter of the three.
"Yeah, that's pretty much how bad your scent is to us." He said with a cocky smile. I stick my tongue out at him and notice that I'm smiling back. His smile fades as he continues on. "It was hard I'm not going to lie, trying to let people in, trusting them. I felt like I had done so much wrong that there wasn't a way that I could reform." He goes on to tell me of how he was turned and shows me the scars on his arms. My heart dropped when I saw that and I felt connected to him in a morbid way. "When I almost attacked Bella at her birthday party, I felt like that was it. I really am a monster that cannot be changed. However, Bella forgave me and my family never turned their backs on me. They were there to help me every step of the way." Jasper's eyes change from sadness to that of gratefulness as he seems to remember how they accepted him. "Edward really hoped that I would be the one to find you, any idea why?" He asked looking at me cautiously.
Lani:
I have an idea, but it's a long story,
too long to write on this ground.
Jasper nods as he reads what I write. "Maybe someday you'll tell me your story. You should know, though, that all of us at one time were human. The only difference between you and us, besides smell," He says with a sly smile, "is that you still have a beating hurt and we don't." He turns his back looking at the forest.
I feel nothing but gratitude at this moment. I'm grateful that Edward wanted Jasper to find me and grateful that Jasper can kind of relate to where I am coming from. I start fidgeting with my sleeves wondering if I should let him in; let him see me. Before I can come to a decision I see his hands reach out for mine. His cool touch meets my hot warmth as he puts his left hand over mine.
"Only when you're ready; we have time." He says with a reassuring smile as I give a slight nod turning my gaze to the ground. He gently tugs on my arm and when I look at him says, "We should probably head back. Race ya'?" He asks with a challenging look in his eyes.
I head toward the bushes and phase. I gather the clothes in my jaw and he reaches out when I come to where he is. Taking the clothes he says, "Need a head start?" I huff at the ground and look at him. "Go!"
We both shoot off but he has the lead. I push my paws harder on the ground to try and gain a little more air with each step I take and realize I'm starting to gain on him. I hesitate when I don't see him. I feel a tug on my tail as he passes me laughing. I jump up on the tree he bounces off and try to tackle him but barely miss him. Before I know it we come barreling into a clearing and realize we are at the house. I stop as he hands me the clothes. When I come out of the clearing Jacob is standing there waiting for me.
"Hey." He says to me uncrossing his arms.
I nod as he hands me a notepad and pen.
"Lani, I'm..." Jacob starts.
Lani:
I get it. You think I don't know why
Sam stopped pestering me to join
his little pack? I know that they
think of me as a liability. I know
that you think like I do, that
people around me die. However,
I have a debt to pay to Carlisle.
The good thing is that they
are a lot harder to kill, at least that's
the impression I'm getting from what I've seen
of these vampires.
I hand the note to him and watch his facial expression as he reads it. "What about Emm..." He starts but I cover his mouth before he can finish saying his name. "What about your imprint?"
Lani:
I would be lying if I didn't say
that he is also why I'm here.
Jacob, be glad that you didn't
imprint on Bella. You lucked out
even though it may not seem that way
to you right now.
He nods. "Lani, I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die." Jacob says looking at me sincerely. "I know it wasn't your fault that mom died but..."
Lani:
I told you I get it. I have been
thinking of nothing else when Leah told me.
I would feel the same way, but
know this your mom was an amazing mom.
I always wished she had been my mom
because she was the only thing I knew
of a mom. I don't remember much of your
mom but I do know that I loved her as
I would have my own mother had I had
the chance to have known her. I know
I haven't been the best cousin in
the world not then and not now,
but do know that I do care for you.
When Jacob finished reading the note he looked at me with tear prickling his eyes. "You too good for a hug from your own cousin?" He asked with a little smile.
Lani:
I guess it's one that's long overdue.
I'll let it slide this time.
"I would have hugged you anyways." He said as he grabbed my arms and pulled me toward him. Enveloped in his arms I felt a bit of peace for the pain I had caused him or felt that I had caused him. I stiffen as I see Emmett come out with a cocky smile and arms crossed.
"Awww, a family moment."
Jacob lets go as he looks at Emmett with an annoyed yet playful smile. At the same time Esme came up from behind and smacked his head playfully.
"Emmett Cullen, you know better." She said warningly but lovingly at the same time. She looked at me with a smile. "Food's ready."
We followed her inside as Jacob sat next to Bella and I followed her to the kitchen. Jasper and Alice were there as we entered.
"I had started making a breakfast meal, but when..." She looked uncomfortable not knowing how to proceed. I nod as in understanding. "When Jasper called to let us know he found you I thought maybe you would want lunch food, but seeing how it's going to be dinner time soon do you want me to prepare a dinner cuisine?" Esme asked smiling.
I looked at all the food before me and shook my head no. There were pancakes, French toast, crepes, sausages, scrambled eggs, hash browns, sandwiches of different types, egg salad, fruit salad, hot dogs, hamburgers, and French fries. I looked at her a bit perplexed.
"You gave me a reason to use the kitchen." She said with a bright smile.
I nod as she hands me a plate. I start filling it with a lot of breakfast food. I feel my stomach grumble and knew that they heard it, even if I couldn't. She gets another plate and starts to fill it with the lunch cuisine. I smile bashfully at her as I sit down on a high chair at the counter.
"Do you think the others might want some?" She asks.
Lani:
You're better off asking Jacob.
I don't know where they are or what
they are doing. He'll be able to reach them.
She nods as she heads to where Jacob is. At the same time Emmett enters.
"Damn, hungry much?" He asks looking at me cockily.
I try to focus on my food and not his hot smile or the way his eyes twinkle as he laughs at his own joke. Jasper comes closer to me and I raise my eyebrow. He shakes his head as if it's nothing.
"So, what can you do?" Emmett asks inquisitively. "Do you phase and that's it?"
I nod trying to remain focused on the food. He's married, he's married. The pain hits me as I try to force myself to eat even though now I don't feel like it. Edward walks in and looks at me briefly. I notice Jasper is looking at me and turn to look at him.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
I raise my eyebrow at him and look at Alice.
"He can feel everything you're feeling." Alice says as she continues to watch me eat.
"I'm getting a lot of..." I glare at him causing him to stop mid-sentence. "I can make you feel better." He says and immediately I feel light as a feather. Warm and happy and all previous tension has left. I shake my head and look at him. He stops as I shake my head no.
Lani:
I'm already trying to deal with everything
that's going on. I don't think I need
more supernatural help at the
moment, but thanks.
He nods as Alice follows Esme and Edward back to Bella. Although I have taken a long nap I can't help but still feel tired and exhausted. I wonder if it's due to the imprint, but that would be stupid. I shake my head dismissing the last thought as Jasper raises his eyebrow at me.
"So, what's an imprint?" Emmett asks taking out a piece of paper. He unfolds it and I notice it's the one from earlier. My heart plummets as I look at him cursing my deafness and the fact that no one knows sign language. "Who is he?"
I don't look at him but write a note and hand it to Jasper.
Lani:
Do you think you can teach me?
Jasper reads the note and gives me a confused look.
Lani:
You trained newborns; do you think
you can teach me how to fight? The
point is that I don't want to be a
liability. You don't have to spare
my feelings or anything, just tell me
straight up. If you don't think I can do
it you can stop training me.
Emmet sees the note as Jasper thought for a moment. "This could be fun." He says with a smirk as he looks at me with challenging eyes. His eyebrow rises questioningly at me. "Are you okay? Your heart sounds like it's going to beat out of your chest." I blush never noticing that they could hear that; dread fills me.
Jasper taps me with a confused look and all of a sudden I feel calm as I look at him. He nods as if saying is this okay? I smile back at him gratefully.
"I only taught wolves once." I nodded and couldn't help but hang my head a bit. "You have to understand that although you are helping us, natural instinct tells me we're enemies." Jasper stopped a moment to see if I understood. I looked back and nodded. "It's not impossible, but you would have to be twice as vigilant on the battlefield. Since you can't hear, you would have to constantly shift around to make sure there's no one behind you or coming at you from any angle. The good news is that we stink, at least to you." I couldn't help but smile a little as he said it so easily with a little smile. "This means you would have to be aware of the different scents around you. For instance, you and Jacob have different scents. All in all it's a wet-dog smell, but when you focus in a bit more there's a difference between the two scents. It's going to take a lot of work."
Lani:
It's not like I have anywhere else to be.
Plus, it would probably come in handy right now.
"We'll try, but maybe tomorrow." He said as my eyes started to get heavy.
"Hell yes!" Emmett said clapping his hands in anticipation for tomorrow.
"You were up for a long time last night. You should sleep some more." Jasper continued.
"Yeah, you're going to need it if you're going to try and take us on." Emmett says laughing as he leaves but stops holding up the piece of paper. "But don't think I will forget about this. Edward won't say anything about it but I have ways of making you talk." He says staring at me with a sly smile.
I blush again and try to glare at him. I don't know if it works but he just laughs and leaves. I look at Jasper and then back down. I nod to myself that I need to get more sleep and not think about stupid Emmett right now. My head felt so heavy from lack of sleep that I almost passed out on the table. Luckily Jasper moved the empty plates and caught my head before it could hit the table. I scribbled on the pad barely able to hold the pen up.
Lani:
Sorry.
He nodded and before I could protest he picked me up as I tried to fight the sleep that was suddenly upon me.