Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age or any of its related characters. This is just for my own enjoyment and the potential enjoyment of other fans like me, and no monetary gain was expected or received.

Rating: T+

Spoilers: May contain spoilers for Origins, Awakening, Origins DL content, and Dragon Age II as well as the novels The Stolen Throne and The Calling.

Chapter Seventy-Seven: Off to Amgarrak

It was clear that Jerrik Dace was surprised by the size of the party that met him at the Dace estate in Orzammar, most especially by the presence of the golem.

"Ancestors bless, you've put together quite the expedition. I confess I did not expect so much effort on behalf of my men. Thank you."

"My husband likes to do things up right," Elilia said, and shook Jerrik's hand. "So where is this Amgarrak, anyway?"

"It can be reached through Ortan Thaig. Be prepared: the darkspawn have moved back into that area, though not in the numbers we'd have expected so many years past the Blight."

"We brought Wardens along for that reason," Elilia said, and put a hand on Nathaniel's shoulder. "This is Ferelden's Commander of the Grey, Nathaniel Howe, and these are Wardens Bannistre, Sigrun, Oghren, Elgar, and Amielle. They're all quite interested in learning about this newly rediscovered Thaig, and I thought they'd be quite useful in a rescue operation."

"Your aid is most welcome. But you must be tired and hungry after your long journey. I shall have rooms prepared for you, and tonight we shall have a great feast. In the morning we set out to find my men, and my brother Brogan. For the first time, I feel like there's truly hope."

A klaxon sounded, rousing Loghain from deep sleep. He somersaulted out of bed and landed in a crouch, sword at the ready. Elilia yawned, stretched, and propped herself up on one elbow.

"Easy, big guy," she said, sleepily. "It's just the alarm clock."

"What in the Maker's name is an alarm clock?" he asked.

"A clock that sounds an alarm to wake you," Elilia said, and turned the device off. "That's how you know it's time to get up when you're in the dark underground."

"Maker's breath. How do people put up with it?"

"I honestly don't know. But it's no cause for…er…alarm."

"Easy for you to say." He put his sword down and stood up. "It doesn't feel like morning at all. I thought Orzammar would be different to the Deep Roads, somehow. How do dwarves live like this? Morning looks and feels exactly the same as night."

"I know. I'm surprised you slept. I have a hard time of it."

"I'm a bit surprised myself. Off to the Deep Roads today, eh? Ortan Thaig. There's a place I'd hoped never to see again."

"What's so bad about Ortan Thaig?" Elilia asked. "When we were in the Deep Roads before you seemed particularly restive there."

"Just some old memories," he said. "And a lot of spiders."

"I forgot you don't like spiders," Elilia said, with a laugh. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

"Thank you, my dear," he said, rather sourly. "I'm going to go get dressed."

"Lucky thing Chatterly insisted on coming along," Elilia said, eyes twinkling. "I'm sure you've forgotten how to put your own trousers on after so long."

"Ha ha."

He had gotten used to having a manservant, although he would never be fully comfortable with it. He permitted the elf to assist him with his clothes and then joined his wife and companions in the dining room for breakfast. Traditional dwarven fare lacked something in terms of variety and flavor, but he found nug pancakes and lichen bread filling if not exactly thrilling.

Afterwards they gathered at the entrance to the Deep Roads and made a final check of their equipment and supplies. No one knew how long they might be spending in the Deep Roads, so a good stock of uncorrupted food supplies was a must. Loghain double-checked the small pouch of ashes tied into his armor just to be sure. Elilia saw him.

"Are you ever going to be ready to tell me what the Guardian said to you at the temple?" she asked.

"One day," he said. "Soon. But when we're alone."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

They did a quick headcount before leaving, since it was a lot of people to keep track of. The Wardens were all accounted for, and the dogs - Champion, Haakon, Paragon, and Champion Hawke's hound Spirit. Laz and Varric were ready and raring to go. Champion Hawke, sister Bethany, and lover Merrill were packed and ready. Shale was sublimely bored and urged them to greater haste. Jerrik and his pet bronto, Snug, were ready to go as well. That was everyone they brought with them, but…

There was one head too many. A blond head, with long, pointy ears.

"Chatterly," Loghain said. "You stay at House Dace while we're gone."

Chatterly adjusted the straps of his pack and smiled. "The Maker told me to come," he said, in the thickly accented Common he had but recently acquired.

"Chatterly, we're going into danger. I've no need of a manservant in the Deep Roads."

"The Maker told me to come."

"Chatterly…"

"Oh, let him come," Elilia said. "He's a grown man."

"In some respects, yes. Oh, very well. If he wants to come so badly, he can come."

They set out for the deep roads, through Caridin's Cross to Ortan Thaig. Perhaps the darkspawn were not yet back in full force, but there were a great many of them all the same, and the group was kept fighting all the way. They only made it as far as the entrance to Ortan Thaig the first day, and made camp in the dark with a cautious fire of smokeless coal that Jerrik had brought along. Loghain was very quiet all the next day as they fought their way through the still spider-infested Ortan Thaig. They reached the doors Jerrik said led to Amgarrak. They stopped for a headcount before proceeding.

"We're one short. Where's Loghain?" Elilia said.

"I'm here," he called, from some distance. She went to find him. He stood beside the flowing river near a small, ruined building, and all he did was stare at the rock.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

He sighed. "Remembering," he said. "I wondered if it would still hurt. Surprisingly, it does. Not so much anymore, though."

"What still hurts?" she asked. "What are you talking about?"

"This is 'round about the place where I killed Queen Rowan."

"What?"

"I didn't know at the time that's what I was doing."

"Explain, please."

He looked at her. "You know that I loved her, don't you? I don't have to explain that part."

"I know. But how do you figure that you killed her? My understanding was she died of the wasting, in Denerim, years after the Rebellion."

"That's what the healers said she had. But Maric…and I…we thought it more likely that her illness was the Blight. If so, this is probably how she contracted it. This is where…where we made love."

Elilia was silent for a moment, a tortured silence. "You, Rowan, and Maric?" she asked.

"What? No! Rowan and I."

"Oh. I was gonna say…"

"You loon." He shook his head. "Stupid, stupid place to love a woman. I still don't know what I could have been thinking."

"Knowing you, you were thinking it was possibly your only chance to be with the woman you loved. You didn't kill her, Loghain. Even if she did die of the Blight."

He grunted. "I wish I could believe that." He looked at her, then reached out and took the back of her head in his hand. He rested his forehead gently against hers. "Don't you go dying on me, Woman. I don't think I could bear it."

Her lips quirked in a near-grimace and she didn't know what to say. Finally she settled on, "Come on: Amgarrak awaits."