My room wasn't big, or, necessarily nice but there was room service and I was alone. I sat on the bed and thought. I thought about how stupid it was that I had ever taken down my field to begin with. I thought about what Ben would think when he woke up to me not being there. I heard a knock on the door and turned my head.
"Who is it?" I asked through the door, laying down and looking up at the ceiling.
"Its Professor Dumbledore can I speak with you please?" Dumbledore called back and I sat up.
"Yeah I suppose so." The door opened and Dumbledore walked in closing the door behind him.
"Why is it, you think that Professor McGonagall cares so much." He asked summoning a chair and plopping down in it.
"She doesn't care." I answered laying back down on the bed.
"You and I both know that you're wrong, You just don't want her to care because you're afraid." Dumbledore countered looking at me.
"I'm not afraid of Professor McGonagall." I laughed, not really finding the statement funny.
"No, your not. You're afraid of people caring. You're afraid because everyone who ever cared about you is dead and those deaths affected you. And you don't want to get hurt again so you're pushing everyone who could possibly care about you away." He said making me sit up.
"You don't understand." I whispered sitting up again looking at my wrists. The scars seemed to be glowing.
"I do understand Casper, I understand more than you could ever understand." He said leaning forward.
"NO!" I yelled standing up. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE YEARS OF HELL I'VE GONE THROUGH! YOU DON'T HAVE SCARS COVERING YOUR WRISTS!" I was shaking with anger. I hate that he thought he knew.
"I don't have scars but I have suffered losses as you have." He answered calmly.
"JUST!" I started then realized that yelling was doing me no good, "Just go. McGonagall probably needs you." His face was upset but he got up, took care of his chair, looked at me one last time, and opened the door to reveal Professor McGonagall outside the door pacing.
"Of damn course!" I exclaimed pulling out my wand. As I waved it at the wall I felt time, again, slow. Dumbledore turned to stare and McGonagall slowly drew her wand. I walked freely at the same speed as I normally would, white sparks flew out of my wand as I waved it again, restoring the regular speed. I pointed my wand at Professor McGonagall so we were facing eachother.
"Casper you need to calm down." She said putting up a hand.
"Do I?!" I retorted sarcastically and I felt my force field envelope me forcing Dumbledore out of the room.
"Casper take down your field." He ordered calmly. I was about to yell something when my wrist started burning. I fell to the ground pulling up my sleeve and looking at the mark on my wrist. It was glowing a bright white and I cried out as white sparks flew around my field.
"Casper stop!" McGonagall yelled fearfully but everything was slowing down again.
"I can't!" I gasped and two white lights came from the mark and wound its way farther up my wrist. Dumbledore was moving as fast as he could but the time was moving slow and I couldn't seem to get a hold on it. I felt myself stand up but it definitely wasn't me moving. The light was getting brighter and I clenched my stomach in apprehension.
"Don't put down your field!" I heard a voice yell and I tried. I hung onto the field around me with such force I could feel it fill me. I felt like I was going to burst with the pain. My feet left the ground and my hair whipped around my face. I couldn't see. The white was everywhere and my head pounded. I screamed as I felt the wholeness in me leave and I fell to the floor as the light banged against my field.
I saw the field flicker and fail as time fixed itself.
"Casper!" McGonagall gasped trying to run toward me but Dumbledore stopped her.
"Minerva she doesn't need that now." He said as McGonagall glared at him dangerously. I just watched, unable to get up, feeling strangely empty. Instead Dumbledore turned to look at me through his spectacles.
"How do you feel?" He asked, looking at me as though staring straight into my soul.
"I don't know." I whispered looking up at him. I suddenly felt something probing my head, angrily I pushed it out and Dumbledore took a surprised step back.
"How did you do that?" He asked curiously kneeling down. But I had shut up. He tried to get in my head and he lost the small trust I had in him. I brought my force field back up with ease and closed my eyes. I was done talking with them.
"Casper you're acting like a child!" McGonagall cried out exasperated.
"WELL I AM A CHILD!" I retorted loudly, white sparks flashing against my field making her jump back affronted.
"Well then Albus I think were done here." She walking out the now open door.
"AND DON'T COME BACK!" I yelled to her back as Dumbledore followed her out.
"WASN'T PLANNING ON IT!" She yelled back slamming the door in anger.
"UGH!" I screamed throwing my shoe at the door. I took down my force field and got off the floor with difficulty. "BITCH!" I added in some more of Ben's choicest curse words. I heard McGonagall screaming on the other side of the door making me even angrier.
"YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL! NO WONDER YOUR FATHER HIT YOU!" She screamed back shooting the door with her wand and making it shake. I froze with anger. How dare she talk about that. She must've realized her mistake because she added, "Oh god Casper.."
"NO YOU'RE RIGHT WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE HIT ME BECAUSE I'M SO DAMN UNGRATEFUL! I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE I WOULD CARE! IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE FEELINGS!" I spat "WHY DON'T YOU COME IN HERE A TAKE A SWING HUH?!"
"CASPER YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" I heard McGonagall's annoyance in her voice.
"WELL YOU SURE SAID IT!" I retorted and I felt wrist burn as a white light shot out at the door making me fly backwards into the wall. To my shock the door only shook violently but didn't break. I felt something hot slide down the side of my face.
"Casper what happened?" It was Dumbledore's voice at the door now.
"Nothing." I answered pulling my hand away from my head to find blood coating the tips of my fingers. I looked in my small mirror and saw a deep gash in my forehead.
"Damn it." I whispered putting my hand up to the cut.
"It's not nothing and it would be much faster if you just told us what happened." He countered calmly and I opened the door in frustration.
"It was nothing now can you please leave me alone." I pleaded glaring at them both in turn.
"Casper you're bleeding." McGonagall gasped taking a step towards me.
"What you wish you had done it?!" I accused rounding on her. Her expression turned from hurt to mad in a second as she opened her mouth to tell me off.
"No Casper she doesn't." Dumbledore answered as if this talk was exhausting him. "You two are going to be the death of me." And he walking back into the room rubbing his temples.
"See your gonna kill Dumbledore too." I said glaring at McGonagall's affronted look and walking over to my bed.
"Your horrid!" She countered following me in and closing the door behind her.
"Your horrider!" I shot back, much to the amusement of Dumbledore.
"Oh dear you two are so alike." He mused staring at the two of us.
"How dare you?" McGonagall exclaimed rounding on him.
"Yeah I'm nothing like that control freak!" I added throwing McGonagall a look.
"I am your professor!" She yelled standing up taller as if her posture intimidated me.
"And how you became a professor is beyond me!" I yelled back standing on my bed. The door opened and Tom peaked his head in.
"Everything okay here?" He asked worriedly.
"Fine!" McGonagall and I yelled at the same time, slamming the door in his face. McGonagall started pacing, every so often sending me a dirty look, Dumbledore was watching us both with a bemused expression, and I was fiddling with my wand on the bed. I gave it a wave and the tip of of Dumbledore's beard light up in fire. I shook in laughter, falling to the floor as he jumped up. Even McGonagall started laughing as he extinguished it with his wand. He laughed with us and for a while we all laughed, then, realizing that we were laughing at the same thing, McGonagall and I shut up, glaring at each other.
McGonagall opened her mouth like she was going to say something but nothing came out and Dumbledore seemed to take the hint.
"I'll just be downstairs talking to Tom if you happen to set Professor McGonagall here on fire." He chuckled good-heartedly and walked out the door.
"Casper…" McGonagall sighed sitting in the chair Dumbledore had just left.
"If you're expecting me to forgive you and we both hug it out and laugh then you're wrong." I told her truthfully. I wasn't touching her. Not a bone in my body trusted her.
"I know, and I don't expect you too but Casper I made a mistake. I was mad and I said something unintelligent can't you forgive me for that?" She pleaded looking at me helplessly.
"I say stupid things all the time but, as you so nicely pointed out, I get a hell of a punishment for them. It's not that I hate you I just don't trust you." I answered looking straight at her as if daring she try and correct me.
"How do I earn back that trust though?" She asked leaning against the side of the chair, her head in hand.
"You don't. I don't trust anyone its just who I am." I shrugged laying back against the bed.
"Casper you can't just go through life alone." She cried out, exasperated.
"Well I've gotten this far and I've been fine." I answered not seeing a problem.
"Well Casper you have every reason not to trust people but I'm begging you to reconsider. Its lonely path your choosing." She begged sitting beside me on the bed. I moved over to put more space between us before I spoke again.
"Don't fix what's not broken," I started, sighing, "I've never had any reason to trust anyone, so I don't people aren't very trustworthy. I've had 8 years of experience." McGonagall frowned as I said this, as if she didn't like my answer.
"I know-"
"No, you don't know, stop pretending you do you'll embarrass yourself." I cut her off seeing the regret on her face.
"I should go its getting late." She sighed and got up.
"Yeah okay." I answered turning over.
"Good night Casper." She whispered before leaving. I stared at the wall for a long time. There was something soothing about the bumps of uneven paint. I mulled the days events in my head. I had ran away, almost died, practically exploded, silenced an entire bar just by walking in the room, brought a grown women to tears, found out I'm a wizard, and left Ben behind for, hopefully, forever.
"Oh my god." I whispered sitting up. Ben's gone. I felt like crying. I never had to live another day under that roof. I stayed like that for a long time, sitting in pure happiness, until I fell back and sleep took me.
Authors Note- So yeah. Nothing like a big fight to end the day right? I'm listening to my writing music so I'll probably write a bit more but I've already pre-written the next like 5 chapters. No more chapters for a couple days tho :( But I just posted like 4 chapter and I REALLY need to pee. Till next time! :)