"Dumbledore had to go to the Ministry for an emergency appointment with the Minister but I'm still here okay?" McGonagall told me through the door. She had stopped trying to get me to come out of the room. "The Ministry is like the government for the wizarding community, they make our laws and keep the muggles away, non magic people I mean."
I got up looking at myself and decided that I needed to get up. I pulled on some dark blue skinny jeans with holes in them, put a brown, braided belt through the holes and pulled on a thin, dark grey hoodie. I tucked part of it in at the front and let my hair stay black. I put on black mascara and minimal dark eyeshadow, so little you could hardly see it. And pulled my long thick hair into a ponytail. next I grabbed clear lip gloss and dabbed a little on my small lips. I pulled on some white converse and opened the door to a mid speech McGonagall,
"Diagon Alley has some of the finest ice cream I've ever tasted," She continued then, seeing me, stopped rather abruptly. "Casper!"
"I'm going out." I told her and walked down the stairs.
"Oh, alright I suppose I'll accompany you then." She replied following me. I walked out the back door and tapped the bricks making them move into an entrance into Diagon Alley. I walked out looking around. I found a newspaper and picked up about to read it when I thought hit me and I dropped it. At night Ben would read the paper, sometimes using me as a footstool. McGonagall looked at me quizzically but I ignored her. I walked to the pet shop Eeylops Owl Emporium. I walked in taking in the horrible smell and animals in cages.
"Hello dear would you like anything?" A older woman came over looking at me.
"Oh yeah I was looking for an owl." I answered looking at the owl section. There were owls of browns, whites, greys, even one black owl. When I looked closer at this last one it snapped at me and I smiled.
"Oh thats Erwin he doesn't like people much." The woman told me looking at the owl sadly.
"Great I'll take him." I replied fishing in my pocket for my money bag.
"Uh Casper maybe you didn't hear the worker that owl doesn't like people." McGonagall cutted in grabbing my arm making me flinch.
"Good neither do I we'll get along great!" I answered paying the worker and grabbing Erwins cage along with a bag of food. I walked out of the store despite both McGonagall's and the workers protests and looked at my new owl. He was staring at me, his head tilted to the side.
"Yeah I'm a confused person get used to it." I told him walking back to bar.
"I wanna learn magic." I said after feeding an extremely moody Erwin, turning to McGonagall who was sitting on my bed.
"Wait until you're at Hogwarts you leave next week." She answered watching me pace. This is an argument that we'd been have for a while.
"Yeah but it's always good to be prepared." I countered, still pacing.
"Read your textbooks."
"I've already read them all three times."
"I don't care."
"You should."
"But I don't."
"Then I'll learn myself."
"You can't."
"Watch me."
We stared at each other for a while, waiting to see if the other would give. I got out my wand and McGonagall got out hers, lazily flicking it sending my wand into her waiting hand.
"Teach me how to do that." I pleaded once she had given me my wand back.
"Why?" She prompted staring me down.
"For defense, if someone tries to attack me I can disarm them that's the Expelliarmus spell. I just need a talented teacher to teach me." I ended looking at her hopefully.
"Just a tip flattery will get you nowhere in my class." She said, "But I suppose for defense.." I knew enough about McGonagall to be quiet and I stood there silently.
"Okay but if you use this on anyone unprovoked you're going to be in trouble." She warned sternly, standing up. I was practically jumping with excitement.
"Wouldn't think of it." I answered with a grin, looking down as she looked at me sternly.
"Casper I'm serious I'm trusting you right now." She said seriously.
"Okay okay." I answered hopping on the top of my feet.
"Alright so what you need to do is point your wand at the person you want to disarm, say the incantation, and give your wand a little flick. If you do it correctly the wand will come flying towards you so be ready to catch it." She told me and I nodded. We stood in front of each other, wands out, a lazy look on McGonagall's face and a determined look on mine.
"Expelliarmus!" I yelled flicking my wand accidentally throwing it, hitting it smack against McGonagall's nose. I screamed with laughter as she threw me a glare that could kill.
"Oh my god that was perfect!" I laughed, rolling on the ground as she threw me back my wand.
"Do you want me to teach you?" She asked looking at me dangerously.
"Oh yeah I just lost my grip thats all." I answered wiping my eyes and getting up.
"Joy." She muttered sarcastically. We worked on it all day with little success and high tension. At one point McGonagall got up and left, coming back only after she had had a good amount of alcohol.
Suddenly the door opened and I turned around in the middle of saying the spell
"Expelliarmus!"
Dumbledores wand came flying into my hand and I froze.
"Ummm hi." I said waving at him with the hand I held his wand in, again it accidentally slipped out of my hand and smacked McGonagall in the face. I laughed again, harder than ever as she threw it back to Dumbledore who was also chuckling a great deal.
"I'm going to go get a drink!" She yelled and angrily stomped out of the room. We watched her go in silence then as soon as she slammed the door we broke out in laughter.
"I'm sorry Professor I had finally convinced her to help me. On the bright side though I can disarm now." I apologized with a smile.
"Oh thats quite alright dear but I had something I needed to talk to you about." He answered suddenly serious.
"Okay?" I asked nodding for him to sit down on the bed.
"When you were talking with your mother," He began and I groaned laying down, "Did you happen to see what was going on around you?" He ended with a smile.
"How did you know?" I asked opening one eye to look at him.
"I've lived many years my dear and living the years I have lived I have learned." He answered evasively.
"Are you going to tell McGonagall because knowing her she'll never talk to me again." I said sitting up, then, meeting his eye added, "Not that I care, its just that… if shes going to be my professor."
"No I wont tell Professor McGonagall she would be embarrassed a great deal and I would like to save her from that embarrassment. That said, I myself will not leave this matter for the time being." He said looking through his spectacles.
"What is there left to say?" I asked already annoyed with this conversation.
"Well yes because what you went through was something I can't say any other person alive has been through and that is because of the peculiar mark on your wrist." He answered and I buzzed with excitement. Finally I was going to get answers. "You have something, a power if you will, that comes every decade or so and is different in every witch or wizard. There are who can control people, elements, animals, dark matter, light matter, and time, like you." I let this sink in. I can control time.
"Okay and this is bad?" I asked.
"Well that depends. It may become quite the burden. Also I guess, and my guesses are usually correct, that most people will be afraid of you. There are other people of course that will try to use you." He answered smiling.
"Another question," I started looking up at him, "Why were you, Professor McGonagall, and Ollivander all afraid of the mark?"
"Well now we have gotten to the part I least wanted to discuss with you. People with great power like you tend to lead incredibly horrific lives as yours has already begun to be. The problem with this is that everyone with a power like you…" He trailed off looking me in the eye and my heart sunk.
"They kill themselves." I whispered not even looking to see how right I was.
"I'm not saying that that is what you're going to do, I'm just saying that we are watching out for early signs of depression." He replied touching my shoulder making me flinch violently.
"You mean like staying in my room for three days, rarely sleeping and never eating?" I asked not even waiting to hear the answer before I looked in the mirror. My red/brown hair was messy and down.. I was wearing white short shorts with rips in the front and a black, lacy skin tight crop top. My hair was curled at the bottom and I was wearing my usual dark makeup. I was wearing my white converse too.
"You know Professor McGonagall is probably drunk out of her mind with how long she's been down there I'm going to go get her." I said before he could answer and walked out the door. When I got down there I found Professor McGonagall at the bar an n empty bottle in her hand.
"Come on Professor we gotta go back upstairs." I said sitting next to her.
"I don't want to." She replied getting a refill of her drink.
"Neither do I but we have to come on." I answered and half carried half dragged her up to her room opening up the room and gasping. Her room was huge with a big black piano and a guitar in the corner and large bookshelves with big comfy chairs. I layed her down on her bed propping her up with pillows putting her under the covers and dimming the lights. I was silent through all of this my mind flashing BEN BEN BEN BEN in big bright letters but I continued to do it anywhere. I grabbed a bottle of water and gave it to her, helping her open it and holding it for her.
"Sing something for me." She moaned turning over to look at me. I looked over at the piano doubtfully.
"Oh okay." I said walking over to instead grab the guitar.
See you calling again
I don't wanna pick up no oh
I've been laying in bed
Probably thinking too much oh oh
Sorry i'm, not sorry for the times
I don't reply, you'll know the reason why
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad
Tired of getting so mad baby
Stop, right now
You'll only let me down
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Trying not to forget
Should be easier than this oh oh
All the birthdays you missed
I was only a kid oh oh
Sorry i'm, not sorry for the times
I don't reply, you'll know the reason why
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad
Tired of getting so mad baby
Stop, right now
You'll only let me down oh oh
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Sorry i'm not sorry for the times
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad
Tired of getting so mad baby
Stop, right now
You'll only let me down oh oh
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Baby you shouldn't come back to me
I finished realizing the Dumbledore was sitting on the bed watching me and McGonagall was fast asleep. I wiped my eyes realized that tears had started tracking down my face as I sang. I put the guitar away and leaned up against the wall my silent tears still falling.
"You sang beautifully." He said after a while but I ignored him, still staring at the wall. "That was about your adoptive father wasn't it? Well I must get going I have important business to attend to, and I implore you to get some sleep."
With that he got up and left leaving me with myself. I didn't sleep. I stayed like I was, tears still running down my face until McGonagall woke up with a groan. I got up slowly and handed her another opened water bottle, propping her up again. Dumbledore had turned off the lights as he left and I dimmed them a bit wiping away my tears and trying to get a hold of myself.
"Thank you." I heard and turned to see Professor McGonagall sitting up, slightly bed headed and holding her water bottle. I felt the tears come back as I just nodded my body shaking as I thought of how Ben had never said thank you. Only demanded more. "Do you play the piano? You were wonderful on the guitar last night."
I only nodded again and sat at the piano, opening it and sliding my hands on the keys. Still shaking I began to play,
This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro
All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised
Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know
Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised
'Cause now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me
There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm takin back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway
Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
No oh, yeah, yeah
You can never hurt me again
As I stopped singing sobs racked my body and I sat there, hands on the piano, sobbing and shaking for no apparent reason. McGonagall didn't say anything just watched me. Then I heard the sound of retching and walked over to the bed to hold her hair back as she retched all over the carpet. When she finished I found a rag and cleaned up the mess, still crying. I couldn't help it, it was all too familiar. We stayed there in silence for a while looking at anything but each other.
"I took lessons before Julia died." I said. I had no idea why I was reminiscing but I was. "She always loved music and loved it when we found I loved it too. I took guitar lessons, piano lessons, any sort of musical lessons I could I guess. I used to love it but… but Ben, he ruined it. He knew Julia had loved it when I played and he made me sing all the time. Hit me when I did. Hit me when I didn't. I just learned to deal with it I guess."
"Oh dear." McGonagall whispered, white in the face.
"You're probably hungry I'm going to go get dressed and get you some breakfast." I said getting up and walking out the door before she could say anything.
Authors note- So here's a pretty long chapter cuz I'm gonna be out of town all weekend so yeah. I'll probably post another but the two songs are both by Demi Lovato if you don't know them they're Shouldn't Come Back and Warrior. I love them both so you guys should check them out! Till next time!