Author's Note: I will finish this story one day soon dammit. I think I'm dragging my feet because I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to this version of the characters, but now that I have angsty sad Mike/Paige in 'Safe' to write I think I need to finish this and let go of my emotionally stunted Paige and my puppy love Mike. Though I love them.

Skinny Double Dirty Chai

Chapter 15

Paige stands on the beach, gulping down deep breaths of the midnight ocean air, staring blankly out at the horizon. She desperately tries to calm her racing heart and clear her head.

What did she just do? She's just wrecked everything. She feels like she may vomit. She is the worst person on this planet.

Mike comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. He kisses her shoulder gently. She feels frozen. The tenderness and intimacy in his gesture hurts. She wants to crawl out of her own skin.

"I didn't picture you as such a screamer." Mike teases softly, laughing into her neck as he nuzzles her.

He obviously has no idea of how horribly Paige just screwed up. How can he be so naive? What does he think will happen now? That they will just run away together, and live happily ever after?

"I'm not, but at least the police are nowhere to be seen, right?" Paige shrugs, trying to act casual. Like nothings changed.

"Wait, you used me?!" She shuts her eyes tightly trying to block out the hurt and betrayal she hears in his voice. He releases her like she is on fire, and she almost falls backwards without him holding her.

"Well in all fairness, you used me pretty well too. I'm supposed to go horseback riding tomorrow through a pot farm." She jokes.

She has to do damage control. Keep things light, and happy. She pulls her shirt back on over her head and looks down to straighten her skirt. The skirt is fine, but she can't stop messing with it or she'll have to make eye contact. She can't look at him. The guilt is too much.

"So that was all an act?"

"Mmmm..." She makes a noncommittal murmur, "things did get a little carried away there, huh?"

"Wait, so that- so you were just faking it for the police? Did you even-" His voice drops to a low whisper, "Did you have an orgasm?"

She laughs a genuine laugh. It was such a Mike thing to say.

"Aw Levi, you sound so textbook sometimes." She could save this, she could bring it back.

"Paige" He grabs her arm, "Please."

"Mike," Paige cannot believe this is the thing he's focusing on. Did she really have to say it? Was it just his male ego that needs her to tell him how incredible he was in bed? He should know he's good.

"Yes." She sighs.

She doesn't want this to be a serious conversation. She hasn't had time to process what just happened. She needs to think about what this means, if anything, and she can't do it with him standing so close. The look on his face tells her he won't let this drop until he hears the actual words.

"Yes, I had an orgasm." She rolls her eyes at the use of the word.

"Look it's been a long night, let's just head home." She turns to walk down the beach towards Graceland, not looking back to see if he was following her. They just need some time to cool off, anything more they say right now will just make things worse.

"Paige." She stops as he says her name, but doesn't look back. "So that's it. That's all you have to say to me? It didn't mean anything? I was just part of your cover?"

Did he really think that little of her? That she would just drop her pants for anyone if she thought it would get her out of a parking ticket?

Of course it meant something to her but she didn't know what right now. It certainly didn't have to mean everything.

She was human. She made mistakes, and sleeping with him was definitely a mistake. Why did he have to keep pushing her? Why couldn't he just accept it for what it was? Why did she for one second think he could?

This would never be a problem if she'd slept with any of the other men in the house. Hell, sleeping with Charlie would cause less of an identity crisis than sleeping with Mike. What the fuck did he want from her?

"What do you want me to say, Mike? I didn't plan on the fucking house blowing up tonight, and I certainly didn't plan on fucking you."

She had fucked up. She knew she had fucked up. She hadn't planned on any of it. She had just wanted him. She had acted impulsively. She knew there was no one to blame but herself, but she was so angry at herself she was lashing out at him.

Who the fuck did he think he was? She hadn't asked for any of this. He just showed up here, followed her around like a lost puppy dog and kept giving her at damn look. She both hated and loved that look.

Seen through Mike's eyes she was perfect, and she loved him looking at her that way, even though it wasn't true. Time and time again, she would think she had it under control and then he would say something sweet, or give her a conspiratorial smirk and she'd fall again. He kept staring at her when he thought she didn't notice, and a look like that, how was she supposed to resist?

"And after your grand fucking entrance at the house, all determined to 'save me,' I didn't have a lot of options! I went with the first plan I thought of, and guess what? It worked."

"Well, it was a shit plan!" Mike yells back at her.

"Look it was just sex, Levi-" She once again tries to calm down the conversation. Bring things back into perspective.

"Stop calling me that! It's Mike."

"Everyone-" She starts to defend herself, but he cuts her off.

"I don't care about everyone. You. You don't get to call me that." The intensity in his voice unnerves her.

"Look it was just sex. Was it a good cover for the cops? Yes, but I wouldn't advise putting it in your case report." She has to get away from this argument. She's not having it with him. This only has to be a big deal if they make it a big deal.

"How stupid do you think I am?" They were both yelling at the top of their lungs at this point. His hands were balled into fists at his sides. He looked like he wanted to punch something. His forehead was all screwed up, and his face was turning red, and he looked powerful, dangerous and sexy as hell.

She wanted to drag him back into that tent and throw him to the ground and fuck him harder, because if he was this worked up afterwards they clearly hadn't worked out their issues enough.

Her desire to rip his clothes off pisses her off even more. She can't keep having this reaction to him. They lived in the same house and worked together for Christ's sake. Her job required her to keep her personal life in a very small box. The two couldn't bleed together like this, and this fight was exactly why.

"Don't go getting all sappy on me here, Mike. I'm a big girl. You don't have to date me. It doesn't have to mean something. I'm not Abby."

He will not turn her into something she's not. If he wanted to walk up and down the beach talking about their feelings all day long, he should just go back to his little girlfriend.

I'm not-" Mike was about to argue back with her when his entire face fell. "Oh, my god Abby. I completely forgot about Abby. I just cheated on Abby."

"Calm down. Jesus! It's not like you're married." Even after all this, she still felt jealous of his reaction to Abby.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not this guy. I don't cheat. I have to tell her, I can't keep this from her."

"Look Mike, it was no big deal. It was a one time thing. Part of the job. You don't have to tell her." He should go back to Abby. It would be for the best. Abby could give Mike what he needs from a relationship and Paige and him could pretend like this night had never happened.

"You really believe that? Now that you've fucked me you're done? Because a few days ago you were telling me to dump her."

"I was telling you not to get too attached, and that's still true. Falling in love leads to nothing but trouble, if not worse. Attachment compromises the mission and puts everyone at Graceland at risk. Look at Donny and Lauren."

"Look at me, Paige. You know me! Christ, you're one of the only people who does." He shakes his head and looks away. His voice is a low desperate whisper now, "You should know, I can't NOT get attached."

"Mike. Don't make this a big deal. Don't let this change things." She is starting to panic at the intensity in his voice.

"Look Paige, I am already attached. I have been attached since the second I saw you in that bar."

Since he first saw her in the bar. Of course Mike would be the type who believes in love at first sight. The problem was, that wasn't her at the bar. She'd been undercover. He didn't know what he was asking for, because he wasn't in love with her, he was in love with a fantasy. When he found out that wasn't her, he'd hate her.

"I think you are the most amazing and terrifying woman I have ever met. You are challenging and frustrating, but I want that." He clears his throat.

Don't say it. Don't say it.

"I want you, Paige."

Paige forces herself to stay strong. He doesn't know. She can't give in like she did in the tent and hurt him further.

He steps forward to her, putting his hands gently but firmly on her face, tilting it up to his. She has no choice but to look into his eyes, and she is terrified of what she sees there.

"And have no doubt, that I am most definitely compromised when it comes to you. And I was before we ever entered that tent."

She stares up into his eyes, she tries to think of anyway this could end without her hurting him. Any chance she could be with him without it causing her entire world to spin out of control. There's just no possible way. What he wants is a fairy tale with an imaginary girl she can't be, no matter how much she wants to at this moment. She lowers his hands from her face, taking them in her own and looking up at him with apologetic eyes.

"I'm not that girl, Mike. She's an illusion. I am my job, and this can't happen."

The look of defeat on his face as he let's out a shaky breath is crushing. He leans forward and presses his lips to her forehead, and she closes her own eyes, forcing herself to stay strong and not to cry.

"I have to go file a report. I'll see you back at the house." He chokes out, turning and walking hurriedly away. She wants to call after him. They can't leave it like this. She stays strong though, and let's him walk away from her.