Author's Notes: And now comes the end to my two part story. I truly enjoyed writing it and bonding with you all over these characters. Thank you so much for all the reviews, PMs and support. I'm sad to let it go, but happy to see that it got finished. Thanks a bunch!
Skinny Double Dirty Chai
Chapter 16
Paige throws herself in a disgruntled heap on her bed. She had walked back to Graceland alone, taking the long way to ensure her and Mike did not cross paths on the way back. The entire walk she had played the night over and over again in her head. She criticized every word she had said, thinking of better ways she could have handled the situation.
She kept asking herself the same questions over and over again. What on earth was she thinking, sleeping with Mike? Why was he so infuriating? How would she face him at breakfast the next morning? Should she transfer to another location? Could she plant drugs in his room to get him kicked out?
She covers her face with a pillow and lets out a muffled frustrated scream. She will never be able to sleep with this many thoughts racing through her head. The events of the night should have left her exhausted, but she's never felt more awake. It certainly doesn't help that she still has the fresh memory of him inside of her.
She needs to wash him off her or else she will never get to sleep. Throwing the pillow to the side, she starts to head to the shower, but the pillow knocks her nightstand and she lunges to catch the cup it knocks over.
She catches the cup halfway down to the floor, but the top comes off and liquid spills everywhere.
"Fucking perfect." She curses violently to herself at the mess. How the fuck did that happen? Paige never leaves dirty dishes and drinks in her room. She looks at the cup and sees the markings on the side. It's marked as a skim milk chai latte with two shots of espresso, and there in Mike's chicken scratch handwriting are the words "Let's Talk."
Paige sits down in the puddle of spilled tea and turns the cup over and over in her hand. It can't be from tonight, the glass is room temperature and the milk smells like it's spoiled. She wonders when he left this for her, why he didn't say anything. She rereads the words over and over again. He knew her drink order. No one ever remembered her she loved Skinny Double Dirty Chai's.
The puddle of liquid finally soaks through her skirt to the point she can feel it against her skin. She should clean this up. She stands up, staring at the cup in her hand. She looks at the waste basket near her desk, but instead sets the now empty cup back on her dresser instead. She should go down to the kitchen to get a towel.
Paige walks softly down the hall, but instead of heading to the kitchen, she finds herself gravitating towards Mike's bedroom. Her steps make no sound in the silent hallway. She only pauses for a second outside his door.
She could just turn around. He would never know. Sure he'd be hurt for a short while and things would be awkward, but he'd get over it. After a few months he would move on and it would be like nothing had ever happened. If she opened that door though, there would be no going back. Things would change.
No matter what scenario she played in her head, she knew this wouldn't end well.
She should get out now.
She cracks the door open slowly. She is just going to peek in, and make sure he got home safe. Then she will go back to bed.
It would hurt, but she can't be selfish here. She's seen too much to believe in happy endings.
If she lets him get too close he won't like what he sees. He was infatuated with her cover, the happy go lucky sexy agent. The same cover that allowed her to get close to anyone, and infiltrate the lowest levels of society. Every man's dream girl. A carefully crafted mirage.
If she let him in, he might be happy for now. Eventually he'd see how damaged and flawed she really was. He would resent her for not being able to live on the pedestal he'd built for her. They'd fight and he'd hate her.
She cracked the door open slowly. She sees him curled up on his side in his bed. His hair is messy, and his bare back is to her. He's trying to fake sleep but she's not buying it. He's too tense.
She can see his fingers flex and she knows he's judging the distance to his gun. He's so easy to read. Even if the sight of him about to shoot her is adorable.
She sighs. She's lost this fight.
If she's honest she lost it the second she saw the drink he left on her bedside table.
If she's really honest, she lost the fight months ago, somewhere between the first time she slapped his ass and that horrible double date.
Fuck it. She tried.
"At ease soldier." She whispers.
Paige crosses the room quickly, and crawls under his sheets. She presses herself to his bare back, and wraps herself around him. She instantly feels calmer, more relaxed.
She casually tosses one leg over his. One arm supports her head and the other wraps around his chest. She breathes deeply and is overwhelmed by the familiar scent of his bed. It smells like Mike. Like soap, sex and him. It makes her feel safe.
He is still lying tense in her arms. She knows he's expecting her to say something, but she's emotionally exhausted. She presses a soft kiss to the back of his neck, hoping it answers his unspoken questions. She feels him relax in her arms.
He takes her hand resting on his chest and entwines her fingers with his own. She smiles sleepily as he examines her fingers and tenderly presses her hand to his lips. She didn't realize until this moment how scared she was that he might kick her out.
She was expecting more of a fight from him. At the very least, she thought he would definitely want to talk to her about what happened earlier and dissect every detail. She was tired of the talk though. She just wants to sleep beside him. To live in the moment and not worry about the future.
She's just about to nod off when she hears his voice break the silence.
"So, what you said on the beach... About not-"
She knew it wouldn't be that easy. She should apologize, she knows he must be confused, but she's tired.
"It's Graceland. Everybody lies." She cuts him off softly. She buries her head between his shoulder blades, and hopes this part is over.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" He's starting to apologize but Paige knows he has nothing to apologize for. He's going to get himself worked up again. He's going to overthink it. He's going to be Mike.
"Go to sleep, Mike." She murmurs sleepily.
"So, you don't think this is a bad idea?"
She can hear the hope in his voice. The hope she doesn't dare let herself feel. Experience tells her this is going to end poorly. There were too many secrets and lies at Graceland. Too many ways you had to sacrifice your soul for the common good. You couldn't have a relationship without hurting someone, because you couldn't do your job without hurting yourself.
She should lie, and tell him everything will be fine, but there will be so many lies in their future that she can't bring herself to add another to the pile. So she answers truthfully.
"Oh, it's a terrible idea," she mumbles sleepily into his shoulder, "Worst idea ever, but we'll figure it out later..." She yawns against him. She's going to fall asleep in Mike's bed. The thought makes her smile.
Another thought occurs to her suddenly. When he wakes up in the morning and she's gone, he will be hurt. It's not that she wants to leave, but the team can't find her here. Whatever this is between them will have to become another secret. Another lie.
"Don't be offended if I slip out before you wake up." She whispers. There are unspoken words in her plea. She wants to say more, beg him not to hate her when this fails, but she can't. Asking his forgiveness for tomorrow's empty bed is all she can muster.
He laughs lightly, his laugh turning into a yawn as well.
"As if you could ever wake up befo..." He mutters sleepily, the words slurring and trailing off. Paige waits to hear the rest, but all she hears is his rhythmic breathing.
She relaxes completely with his chest rising and falling lightly under her hand. There will be no more fights tonight. She rests her head back down and nuzzles her face into his back, breathing deep.
She appreciates that he did not try at any point to turn over and embrace her. Paige likes being the big spoon. It makes her feel like she's free to leave whenever she wants. But right now she doesn't want to go anywhere. Right now she is exactly where she wants to be.
The end. Thank you lovelies.