"You did what?!" I sighed as McGonagall continued to lecture me. I had just been walking around in the corridors, fuming, when McGonagall came out of her office. I had only just told her what happened.
"You lecturing me isn't doing anything." I said calmly as she continued yelling.
"Well then hopefully this detention will!"
"I'm not giving her detention." I heard and whipped around to see Snape standing in the doorway.
"Brilliant." I whispered, plopping down in my seat.
"You...WHAT?" McGonagall looked like she was about to have a heart attack, "Such disrespect and you're doing NOTHING?"
"I'm not doing nothing I'm taking 50 points from Gryffindor and having a talk with-."
"If you're about to say me I'd rather take the detention." I said quickly cutting him off.
"Casper you will do whatever Professor Snape says you do, you were disrespectful and now you're paying for it." McGonagall said standing beside Snape.
"Wonderful now can I leave?" I asked standing up.
"Need to get to lunch?"
"No."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't."
I looked at them both, waiting for them to move from the door.
"Well if you aren't going to lunch you can come to my office and we can talk now." Snape said with a smirk and I groaned inwardly, following him out of the room. We walked in silence to his office, him sitting in his seat and me standing.
"Sit down."
I sat in the seat opposite him and looked at everything but him yet again.
"Look at me."
"Why?"
I didn't need to. I shouldn't need to. Why would I want to look at him. But I did. I did look at him. I looked right into his black eyes. I was angry, rightfully so.
"I understand-"
"Why does everyone think they understand? You don't. Dumbledore doesn't, McGonagall doesn't, you don't. You don't know what I've been through thats why I don't want people in my head, because thats where I keep everything." I cut him off angrily and I could see an emotion cross his face but I couldn't understand what it was.
"Other people have had losses you will not pretend like you are alone when you're not." He said matching my anger with annoyance. "You don't know everything no matter how much you pretend you do."
"I do understand I understand perfectly!" I shouted standing up.
"Then explain." Snape was standing now too, clutching the desk for support.
"You loved her. You loved my mum and I look so much like her and you made a mistake and you're trying to right your wrongs by saving me but you can't. Stop trying Professor you may have made a mistake but you're not the same person you were and I," I pointed at myself, "Am NOT my mother."
"You have no idea the mistakes I made Miss. Potter." He was shaking with rage, his voice thick with remorse.
"I don't care about your damn mistake my mum is dead, my dad is dead, my brother is dead, Julia is dead, everyone is dead and you righting your wrongs doesn't change any of that!" I was yelling so hard I was surprised the whole school didn't hear me.
"It may not matter to you Miss. Potter but it does to me and you have not the power to stop me nor the will and it would do you well to sit down." He said and I could see how much effort it was taking for him to keep his anger in check. I sat down and brought my knees to my chest.
"They're gone. No matter how much you want them, how much you need them they won't come back sometimes you just have to give up. I know that my parents will never see me off to Hogwarts or buy me presents or tell me everythings okay and it kills me but I've accepted it and I'm letting go." I said and he sat down too.
"You're not letting go you're shutting people out so it doesn't happen again." He countered. A small part of me knew that it was true but I couldn't tell him that. Most of me refused to accept it.
"I'm not shutting people out."
"Stop lying to yourself."
"I'm not."
I could see I was annoying him.
"Why do you think I'd rather talk to you than give you detention? Right now I have no idea." He asked dryly.
"I dunno." I sighed looking up at the ceiling.
"Well believe it or not I wanted to talk to you not argue with you and it would help if you just sat and listened if that is possible."
I didn't answer just continued looking at the ceiling.
"Good now the headmaster thinks you should know some things and I was chosen to tell you."
I was practically bouncing up and down. Finally I get answers about my parents.
"Years ago there was a time of darkness in which a dark wizard came to power by the name of Lord Voldemort. It was dark times and the Dark Lord killed whoever opposed him. There was a group of people by the name of the Order of the Phoenix, founded by Albus Dumbledore to oppose him and his followers, the Death Eaters." He said this almost as if he was bored.
"Were you apart of the Order?" I asked eagerly.
"No. Let me finish." He answered and I hushed up.
"There was a prophecy and at the time I was a Death Eater I thought at the time what the Dark Lord was doing was right. I told him the prophecy and he targeted your family. I didn't know he would be targeting Lily or I wouldn't have told him." He said this last sentence as if it pained him and I felt angry.
"But you wouldn't care if it was another family being torn apart?"
"Miss. Potter like I have already said I made a mistake and I regret it, now listen." He said sharply and I nodded rather grudgingly.
"Your brother happened to fit the description of the prophecy perfectly so the Dark Lord set out to kill. The headmaster, knowing that the Dark Lord would target your family, put up a fidelius charm, a spell that renders the place the person cast it on invisible unless the secret keeper shows you where it is." He took a breath and I could see dislike etched on every part of his face. "Your father declined when the headmaster offered to be their secret keeper. Instead being the overly trusting person he was, he chose his best friend, Sirius Black. Needless to say, Black betrayed him and told the Dark Lord where to find you."
"Okay so why isn't Voldemort still here?" I asked confused.
"I'm getting there this would be much easier if you would shut your mouth." He answered coldly and I flinched.
"The Dark Lord killed both your parents and missed you. If he had known you were there he no doubt would have killed you but you were lucky." He began again and I snorted at his lucky comment. My life was anything but lucky.
"He advanced on your brother and attempted to kill him. Somehow the curse backfired and hit him. The Dark Lord has been said to be dead, or else hiding and planning his next gamble for power." He finished looking at me.
"So because of the combined efforts of you, Voldemort, and this Sirius Black fellow I'm the only Potter alive. Brilliant." I said and he narrowed his eyes.
"Thats one way of looking at it." He replied, looking slightly amused.
"Can I go now?" I asked standing up.
"To sit around and do nothing?" He countered standing as well, "Professor McGonagall told me. It seems shes not happy that her star pupil is starving herself and depriving herself of sleep."
"I'm not her star pupil." I answered walking over to the door.
"I never said you could leave."
"I don't care."
Authors note- Casper has such an attitude... I love it. Sorry I couldn't post yesterday I had tryouts all day and today I'm going to a Manchester United vs Real Madrid game and I have more tryouts tomorrow so I'll try to post again tonight and maybe tomorrow if I get up super early... I dunno I'm really bad at getting up early. Till next time!