A/N: Wow. I'm truly blown away by the reviews you all have so kindly left me. Thank you guys. I hope you all will hang in there for the next couple chapters. It's all full of angst and not much dialogue. Feedback is welcomed, let me know what you guys liked and didn't like. Again, thanks to my beta socks-lost for helping me out. Enjoy!

Angela was putting away leftovers she had put aside for the girls, when she heard Maura's car pull into the drive way. She was quite upset that she had gone so long without hearing from either Jane or Maura. She was dead set on demanding an explanation as to why the girls never showed up from the hospital and didn't bother to answer her phone calls. So she waited, but a couple minutes passed and there were still no signs of Maura and Jane. Angela decided to look out the window to check if Maura was still in her car and saw a very distraught Maura reapplying her make up. The mother in Angela wanted to stay and find out what happened, but she knew Maura was a very private person and that Maura would find her when she was ready to talk. So she set Maura a plate of food and left for the guesthouse.

As for Maura, she couldn't even remember the drive back from Jane's apartment. Next thing she knew she was stopped and parked on her drive way, crying. Maura replayed what transpired at Jane's apartment, over and over in her head many times. She knew she shouldn't have exploded on Jane the way she did but Jane needed to know just how painful her actions and words were. Maura tried to reason with herself that the argument was long overdue. Their friendship had suffered a big divide when Casey walked back into their lives and Maura hoped that this fight was just what they needed to revert back to their old ways. Or maybe even become something more. Maura realized that she was still crying in her car and Angela was probably worried. She reapplied her make up to make herself presentable to Angela because she didn't want to raise suspicions. She knew Angela was going to immediately discover something was wrong with her and she secretly wished that she wouldn't pry.

When she entered the house, the blonde glanced around her home and found it empty. She figured Angela would have been waiting for her in the kitchen, demanding some answers to her many questions. Much to her surprise, Angela was nowhere to be found and instead discovered a plate of food with a glass of wine set on the kitchen counter. Next to the plate was a note that read,

"Dear Maura,

Knowing our Jane, she probably gave you a very hard time. She never did have the best bedside manners. I left you a plate of food with some wine. Get some rest.

Goodnight sweetie."

Maura had never been more grateful for Angela than in that moment. All she wanted was to be alone and thankfully Angela understood. She glanced at the food once more but her appetite was gone so she decided to take a long bath. Putting the plate in the refrigerator, she quickly drank the glass of wine, poured herself another glass and headed upstairs to start her bath. For Maura, a good bath always served to calm her mind and rationalize everything. So that was exactly what she did. Once she settled into the tub, she leaned back and closed her eyes and tried to let go of all the negative energy. Instead, all she found herself doing was thinking of how falling in love with the detective had given much more meaning to her life.

Being with Jane had brought her so much joy, just thinking about the brunette brightened up her day substantially. Whenever Maura had a bad day at work or felt stressed out, Jane's presence alone would be enough to soothe her. She was physically unable to stop smiling around her and it felt like she was about to burst at the seams out of pure happiness. She remembered the words she told the brunette about Garrett, how the love she had for him felt like she was high off of some sort of substance. Maura chuckled just thinking about how wrong she had been because the way she loved him paled in comparison to her love for Jane. Loving Jane made her feel so drunk and on top of the world that the doctor felt invincible, nothing could possible stop her because she had Jane. When she was around Jane, Maura forgot the rest of the world even existed. It was only when reality hit did her love for Jane become suffocating. As much joy as the detective had brought Maura, she had also caused a lot of pain. Maura was hurt from all the times she wanted to desperately hold Jane and treat her the way she deserved to be treated, but couldn't. The medical examiner yearned to comfort Jane more intimately, instead she had to sit back and seethe with jealousy as Casey comforted her in ways that only lovers could do. Maura swallowed the pain every single time and went home to cry herself to sleep. The more she endured, the less like herself she felt.

Love.

Such a blessing and a curse.

Maura thought back to this past spring, where she had gotten a sudden burst of confidence and was determined to reveal the true nature of her feelings to the detective. She grew tired of having to hide her love, it started to weigh heavily on her soul and affect her work. At times it felt like it even physically hurt to love Jane. Maura had always been a very organized person and planned everything with great detail, so she made a plan. She was going to find evidence that confirmed Jane's feelings were as strong for Maura as Maura's were for her and after weeks of research, she found them. The lingering touches, the irrational jealousy, and most importantly the way Jane looked at Maura when she thought Maura wasn't aware of her presence. That look, it always took Maura's breath away. It was filled with so much adoration and love, it made her dizzy just thinking about it and it snapped her out of her thoughts. She got up from her bath, wrapped a towel around her body and headed for the bedroom. She sat down on her bed and put on lotion, her brain going back to the week where she planned out exactly how to tell Jane about her feelings.

It had been Wednesday night when she trapped herself in her office and planned out a date with the brunette. She was going to start off by inviting her to a late Friday night movie, which would turn into their very usual sleepover. Since they had the weekend off, Maura planned to make Jane her favorite breakfast which consisted of scrambled eggs, bacon, a cup of fruit, a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and toast with a strawberry jam. After breakfast, she wasn't sure if she wanted to take Jane on a stroll around her favorite childhood park or to an indoor hockey league game. She ended up deciding on the latter because she knew how much Jane would love that. Maura hadn't quite figured out what the next step in her plan was after the league game, but she knew that she wanted to end the night back at her house for dinner. She figured she would let Jane decide what to do after the game. Back at home for dinner, she was going to make this wonderful Indian recipe that both her and Jane wanted to try for quite some time. After eating or getting a food coma, as Jane liked to call it, they would move over to the couch. The couch was the setting in which Maura decided to tell Jane everything. The couch held so many wonderful memories of late night movies and conversations that ended in them comforting one another. Maura finished working out the final details of her plan she went to bed feeling hopeful.

The next morning in her office, Maura had made up her mind that during her lunch break she was going to go up to the bullpen to ask Jane if she had any plans for Friday and the weekend. Everything was running along rather smoothly when the unimaginable happened, Casey returned. Maura felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice over her body and sucker punched her. She was on the verge of a panic attack and for the first time in her life, she didn't know how to react. She suddenly wished that the Earth would swallow her whole and spare her of the misery that was sure to follow.

Whenever Casey was in Boston, Jane turned into a completely different person. It had gotten so bad that Maura couldn't even recognize her anymore. Jane would spend hours talking about Casey and their Skype dates or how he hadn't returned any of her calls and completely ignore the blonde. There were times when Maura desperately needed Jane to just be there and listen but she was preoccupied with Casey.

Casey's return always ended in Jane and Maura's friendship suffering, which meant Maura also suffered. Despite having the brunette around, Maura started to feel like she lost her friend and Casey was their undoing. So when he returned, as much as it pained Maura, she had no alternative but to be there for Jane when he walks out on her again. But this time around he never left and instead purposed to detective in the most unromantic way possible. Every single day that Jane contemplated saying yes, Maura died a little inside and started to distance herself. How could she be happy that the love of her life was thinking about leaving with a man who doesn't really understand Jane and her desires? How could she be happy that the love of her love was blindly throwing away her life? Maura contemplated confronting Jane on this issue but decided against it because she knew the brunette would react badly. She rather silently suffer than risk upsetting Jane and losing her friendship. Every night before going to bed, she hoped that Jane would come to her senses and send Casey packing. Later that week, Maura's wish came true. Jane revealed to her that she had turned down the proposal. Immediately, Maura felt her heart begin to flutter with hope once again.

Unfortunately, Maura's hope was short lived. Once Jane explained to Maura that Casey might return to be a part of the baby's life, panic began to settle back in. She finally had another opportunity to reveal her feelings and possibly have a life with Jane and Casey was going to ruin it. Maura knew that Jane and the baby's life would be so much better under her care. Knowing Casey, he would probably show up once or twice a year and leave Jane to do everything herself. Maura, on the other hand, would actually be there for her and help out in any way she possibly could. The baby would have had all of Maura's unconditional love and support. If Casey showed up and whisked Jane and the baby away, the doctor wouldn't survive the heartbreak. Jane had already chipped to many pieces of Maura off and she didn't know how much more she could take. She had no control over this situation and it made Maura sick to her stomach.

Things changed completely when she met Jack. Once she got over her initial fear that he wanted to hurt her, Maura began to wonder if Jack was life giving her a clean slate. He was perfect for her and most importantly he was an escape from potential heartbreak. It was quite unfair to Jack that Maura use him as a second option but life is unfair and cruel. She knew she was being selfish, but she was tired of always putting herself last lately. It was time she started thinking about herself. After going on a couple dates, Maura realized she could actually grow to love and appreciate him. Maura didn't want to wait all her life for Jane, so she decided to take a chance on him. It was better that way, Jane got her happy ending and Maura would eventually get hers. That was all before Jane's miscarriage happened and now that things were somewhat out in the open, Maura knew her relationship with Jane and Jack were about to change drastically. There was no point in hiding the truth from Jane, so Maura was going to lay it all on the table. She was tired of the constant weight on her shoulders and she wanted nothing more than to be liberated of it.

When Maura thought of Jack, a wave of sadness hit her. She knew the right think to do was to break things off with him. She couldn't continue to string him along, even if it meant she was going to go back to being alone. With a sigh, Maura lifted herself up from bed and reached for her phone that was on her dresser. She sent a quick text to Jack asking to meet up as soon as possible. The faster she got this over with, the better. Maura immediately received a response from him. It read,

"Sure, I can go do coffee first thing tomorrow morning. Is everything alright? Do you need me to meet you right now?"

A small sad smile graced Maura's face. He cared so much about her and she felt sick knowing what was about to happen. She replied to him stating tomorrow morning was perfect. She didn't even know where to begin the conversation with him, the only thing she knew was that the pending talk was going to be emotionally charged and she wasn't ready for it. With that last thought in mind, she went to bed hoping to get some sleep.