You want him, you have to love him. Because that's what he's going to do to you. And it could be your death.
Caroline has spent days torturing herself. She wants to hide out in her room and never see the light of day again, classes be damned. How do you even talk about it? Who do you even say it to? Instead she chooses to go window shopping, or makes lists. Lists and lists, on post-its and notebooks and Evernote files. Anything to parry all thoughts to do with the night of the bear trap.
There are times when she's talking to someone and it rests heavy on her tongue, ready to slip out and into the ears of someone else. She wants to sit down and have someone grab her shoulders and give her a hard shake. Have them tell her that her interest in Kol is unconscionable. It could be Matt, throwing down a dishcloth and pep-talking her through the list of big cons. It could even be Damon, who'd most likely call her an idiot. Just tell me that I'm crazy.
She feels crazy.
The thing is, every time she's about to part her lips and let the truth run free, something stops her from taking the leap. It's beyond the fear of having to deal with the judgment and cutting opinions of her friends.
Caroline actually wants to have a go at Kol.
Somehow the idea of loving him as a consequence doesn't intimidate her as much as it should. Nobody will let her do it if she confides in them. So... Secret it is.
Kol texts her on a Friday night, which makes her weary of the intention behind it. Not going out?
She only responds after doing the dishes. Nothing drives people crazier than a read-but-unattended text. No.
The phone buzzes shortly after. Do you want company?
Her thumb hovers over the N on the screen, considering. Then she sets it down, staring until it goes dark with idleness.
What she wants is far from healthy. This isn't something she's willing to deal with at the moment, even if she's on the cusp of something.
A chime fills her house. Her mother's voice projects from the broom closet. "Could you get the door?"
Caroline glances at the counter again, where her cell rests. No way. He wouldn't dare.
Her mom calls out again, this time less amiably. Playing the filial child, Caroline takes slow steps toward her front door, pausing with her fingers on the handle. She tells herself not to let anyone see him, no matter what he says or does, lest he receive an invitation. And then she opens the door.
It's not him. Her arms fold. "...Mike?" Caroline looks at the large duffel slung over his shoulder, grey and much too full for swinging by to say hi.
Her cousin smiles and nudges his way past her. "Yo."
"You're… back," she trails off, noting his spritely step. For someone whose bits had been uncomfortably close to a power saw, this is more than disturbing behaviour.
"I am," he replies, "Sheriff home?" Caroline calls for her loudly, and her mom appears with a rag in hand.
"Mikey," she addresses him, surprised, and also noticing his choice of baggage. "Did you need a place to stay?"
"Uh," he looks around uneasily, "You asked me to crash with you guys for awhile?"
Liz cocks her head back and wrinkles her nose at the detail. Her daughter, on the other hand, is much quicker in adding things up, and when the pieces start to fit, she feels a deep roiling start in the pit of her stomach.
"I asked him," Caroline volunteers falsely. "Again. 'Cause, y' know, yay to hanging out and stuff." Her mother regards her with narrowed eyes, then asks her to place fresh towels in the guest bedroom. Young Forbes races towards a more isolated part of the house, tugging Mike by the arm as fast as humanly possible.
At the laundry area, she halts, spinning to face him. "You were here more than a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember that?"
"What? No," he replies incredulously. "Last time I was here was like, in middle school." He grimaces at her arm still on his, and she relents, knowing that he's completely unfamiliar with the fact that she's a vampire. "Is it your time of the month or something? You're so freakishly strong."
"Ugh, shut up," she snaps. "Didn't Kol tell you to stay away?"
"Who?"
She stares at him. It concerns her how genuinely clueless he seems.
Caroline searches her cousin's eyes. "You don't know," she says in reference to his attack on her, and rushes back to the counter to retrieve her cell.
I'm coming over, she types, her thumbs frenetic in their jabbing, then informs her mum of the sudden errand she needs to run at Bonnie's for awhile.
But she's going to kick Kol's ass. Won't take more than an hour.
"Hey," Kol greets. His shirt sleeves are rolled up above his elbows and Caroline notices the waning arc of muscle there before she shoves him as hard as she can. "Whoa," he exclaims. "Don't need to get handsy, darling, I haven't even offered you a drink yet."
"What's your game?" She pushes him again. "What's your game?!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Caroline knows he's prepared for another hit, so she throws him off by striding over to his tiny, open kitchen in three easy steps and fetches a knife from its block.
"Do you know how stupid it is to be bullshitting me right now?"
Kol looks at the weapon, unalarmed. "You know that can't hurt me."
She twirls it in her hand. "Oh, you know I can make it hurt. Especially when I'm home, and I see Mike, and he has no recollection whatsoever of nearly killing me or who you are. And I thought, who's the only other vamp in the entire universe that knows anything about this and could possibly brainwipe my cousin into oblivion?"
Leaning on the counter, the Original vampire cracks a faint smile. "I didn't compel him again." Kol moves forward and Caroline feels his hand curve around her knife-wielding one when she raises it up in defense. "He just reset."
Reset? "Excuse me?"
"When he was done," he tightens until his knuckles go white, "he went back to the way he was before I met him. Now let's put this down."
She swallows a deep breath and says very slowly, "Done with what?"
Kol doesn't have to say it for her to know the answer. She only has to look at his face up close to see the knowing gleam in his eye. "Helping me see what you're made of. I suppose I should've killed him instead. An oversight."
It takes a second for her to realize what he's saying. "You're psycho."
Completely. Utterly. A chill passes through her, thinking of every instance that she might have thought was thanks to Mike, but had really been Kol,watching, waiting. Testing her waters.
"Oh, don't be like that," he says of the look on her face. "You're quite the specimen."
Caroline tries to budge, but his thumb is resting on a spot of her wrist that she has no doubt will snap if he applies the right pressure. So in a moment of pure strategy, she loosens her grip to let him take the knife from her and lay it on the counter where it's not quite in reach.
"I knew it." Checking her eyes on the first night and helping her, and the bear trap; that was all smoke and mirrors. "The trap," she says aloud, the ghost snap of cold metal causing her to wince. "Even the trap."
He chuckles. "No, that was all you, I swear," he says, as if swearing now counted for anything.
Both her hands press to her hairline as she tries to come to terms with the revelation. "Why would you even do this?" The more she thinks about it as Kol having fun at her expense, the more pissed off she gets. 'You could've killed me, and you lied to me. Here I was, looking at you with your stupid hair, in your stupid shirt with the-" she gesticulates wildly at his arms, unable to find the right descriptors for how excellent they look, "-thinking, hey, maybe missing the rerun marathon of The Bachelor is going to be worth it."
She's the stupid one. Ugh.
Kol shakes his head. "Don't tell me that you were so naïve to think that I could've never lied to you. I was just about to say how impressed I was."
Caroline isn't interested in his opinion of her. "So did you? Lie bout everything?" Her mind flits to his unwillingness to divulge his history. Was it a sensitive topic, or had he run out of creative inspiration? And all the things that he did to make sure he stayed in her head. Can a person fabricate chemistry?
"Sometimes it takes a bit of truth to spin the best stories."
This makes her eyes roll. "Spare me the cheese."
Kol's steely expression doesn't budge. "Whether I lied or not, you know one thing is real - you want me to want you."
Caroline opens her mouth to counter it, but fails to grasp the words. She isn't sure if it's because it sounds so heinously pompous or it's kind of, sort of, maybe... true.
"Well, you don't have to say anything. It's all in the eyes." He glances at her mouth. Then he returns to her blues. She takes the time to study him as well, his parted lips, heavy lids.
She sees it. Feels it. You can't manufacture this kind of attraction.
"So what's your analysis, Kol?" She purposely draws out his name with a curl of her tongue, both antagonistic and coy.
"More of advice, really." He leans closer, and Caroline starts to catch the warm scent of spice on his skin. "Don't cage yourself up anymore. Live a little. Be bad. You might explode one day if you keep it all inside, you know. And I'm not going to be the one to reel you in, because, well... that wouldn't be fun, would it?
"You're a vampire, as dark as they come. And you love the danger the same way you love me." Fingers pick at the blonde locks on her shoulders.
"I don't love you." She looks down, but doesn't recoil from him.
Kol tilts her chin upward. "You're already halfway there."
She lets herself pour all her feelings into it when he kisses her, blood rising as his tongue slides along her lower lip and she returns it with a gentle lick of her own. The ache begins to well up inside, the same way her cravings start to roar.
God, it's been awhile. A long while. She feels a hand drag from her neck, down her chest and plant on her hip, and just having him tease her mouth is making the idea of her ripping his shirt apart and climbing on top of him so very, very appealing.
Too bad her hatred of being lied to is way headier than her lust. Caroline uses her weight to move him backwards and pin him against the counter to deftly slip her fingers around dark wood.
The sharp length of cold steel plunges into the small of Kol's back, but that's not quite enough – she wiggles the blade and pulls it diagonally across to his shoulder, letting the smell of blood permeate the air. It's evident from his abruptly cut yelp that she hit something important.
He'll live.
Her lips meet the corner of his open mouth of pure shock. Or is it pain? Maybe both. "Don't be like that," she softly says to him, "I'm only letting off a little steam."
Kol slides down to the floor when she releases him, annoyed grimace fixed on her. Crouching, Caroline's tongue darts out to clean the speckles of his blood off her hand, unapologetic in nearly nicking his thumb when she tosses the knife at him.
"Next time," she says, "just ask me out on a date."