"And, we're back!" Nia announced. Elphaba was playing Candy Crush on the IPhone Nia gave her. "Elphaba!" Nia called.
"One sec! I'm on Level 110!" Elphaba called back.
"Whoa! Wait, I'm on Level 107! How did you beat me?" Nia said, glancing over Elphaba's shoulder.
"Can we please get on with the interviews?" Morrible asked.
"You really want to be turned back into a fish, don't you?" Nia asked, staring at Morrible. Morrible shook her head and looked at the floor.
"Okay, now, please welcome back to the show Elphaba'sGirl. She says, Firstly; I don't want Morrible to change back. I like her as a fish. Like, a real fish. Wizard, you can change back so I can attack."
"We've taken care of that!" Nia said, smiling.
"Secondly; I want Frex in this story. You shall see why. (Here Elphaba, I got you this; it's a knife) Now, Elphaba, you can go first steal Frex's lame toupee, then murder him any way you deem necessary. Hehe."
"NO!" Elphaba shouted. Frex entered the studio. He was greeted by boos and hisses from the audience.
"That was the exact reaction I was hoping for," Nia said, shaking her head in amusement.
"Papa?" Nessa asked. Frex bent down to hug his favorite daughter. Elphaba sighed and turned around. "My precious little Nessa. What are you doing in this place?" Frex asked, kissing Nessa's head.
"You can stop doting on her. She's not in a wheelchair anymore," Nia said.
"Who are you?" Frex asked.
"Please don't make me introduce myself. I really don't want to right now."
"Where's that knife?" Elphaba asked under her breath.
"You!" Frex snarled when he saw Elphaba.
"Hello, Father," Elphaba said in a perky voice.
"What's the embarrassment doing here?" Frex shouted at Nia.
"First of all, don't shout at me. This is my world. Secondly, Elphaba is not an embarrassment. And thirdly, sit down!" Nia commanded him.
"Sit down where?" Frex asked.
"On the floor, with all of the other hated people!" Nia said like it was obvious.
"Wait, if the hated people are on the ground, why am I here? I thought you like me?" Nessa asked with wide eyes.
"I do!" Nia defended herself. Nessa was able to let go of Boq's hand and she sat back in her seat. Frex took her place. A knife appeared in Elphaba's lap.
"Frex will be here for the next episode to answer your questions. Back to the dare. Elphaba, don't kill him." Nia said, reaching for the knife. Elphaba pulled it out of her reach. "Can I keep the knife?"
"Why?" Nia asked, surprised.
"You never know," Elphaba said, looking at the knife.
"Elphie!" Nia said sternly. Elphaba reluctantly gave Nia the knife and Nia put it in her desk for safekeeping.
"Thirdly; Yero, you and Elphie sing a duet now."
"What should we sing?" Fiyero asked, taking Elphaba's hand.
"As Long as You're Mine!" Nia said, jumping up and down in her seat.
"What's that?" Dorothy asked.
"It's a love song that they sang before you killed Nessa," Nia said casually.
"It's wasn't a love song!" Elphaba protested, blushing.
"Elphaba, we've all seen the musical. Trust me, it's a love song!" Nia said.
"Every moment, as long as you're mine…" Elphaba and Fiyero sang.
"Wait!" Nia interrupted them. She went over to Elphaba and Fiyero and grabbed their hands. "If we are going to do this, we are going to do this the proper way."
"What are you doing?" Elphaba asked as Nia pulled both of them out of their chairs.
Nia led them to the front of the stage and told them to kneel down.
"Now, look into each other's eyes and sing!"
Elphaba and Fiyero stared at her for a while, but eventually sang. By the middle of the song, they were lost in each other's eyes. The leaned forward and were locked in a passionate kiss. When the audience cheered, the pulled away violently.
"What happened?" Elphaba asked, recovering.
"That was the most beautiful and romantic kiss I have ever seen!" Nia said, handing out tissues.
"Fourthly; Glinda, can I ride in your bubble? Pleeeeesssee?"
"Of course!" Glinda exclaimed. A big pink bubble appeared and began to float to the audience. A person was floating in the bubble. "This is so cool!" she said.
"Fifthly; Wizard (if you're back) I want you to apologize to Elphie and give her a present. If it's good enough, you can have a stale doughnut. If not, we hit you on the head with the stale doughnut."
"I just apologized!" the Wizard said.
"Well, then, do it again!" Nia said. "If I have to pull out the lightning bolt one more time, I will seriously zap someone with it!"
"Elphaba, I'm so sorry!" the Wizard said with tears in his eyes.
"I can deal without the crying!" Elphaba snapped at him.
"Elphaba, don't you think it's time to forgive him. He is your father," Nia said gently.
"I'm not her father! Thank Oz!" Frex exclaimed.
"Actually, if this were book-verse, you wouldn't be Nessa's father, either!" Nia said, then realizing her mistake.
"WHAT!?" Frex and Nessa shouted together.
"I really need to stop spoiling everything!" Nia said, placing her head on her desk.
"Then, who is my father?" Nessa asked.
"Nope, I'm not saying another word! If you want to find out, you can read the book," Nia said, covering her mouth.
"Sixthly; Elphaba, how are you so awesome?"
"Oh…um… thank you. I don't know," Elphaba blushed.
"Seventhly; Glinda, I love your hair."
Glinda tossed her blond curls over her shoulder. "Why, thank you!"
"Wait, what about the present?" Dorothy asked.
"Oh, right! Wizard, you need to give Elphaba a present," Nia said as a bucket of stale donuts appeared next to her.
"What should I give her?" the Wizard asked.
"Make her loved by all of Oz," Glinda suggested.
"That would be nice," Elphaba admitted.
"That's never going to happen!" Morrible hissed.
"I'm really sick of you!" Nia said, looking Morrible dead in the eyes.
"I am a sentimental man… who always longed to be a – " The Wizard stopped when a stale donut hit him in the head. He turned around and saw Nia casually whistling to herself.
"What was that for?"
"We are all sick of hearing that song. You're not sentimental and you are a father. So, deal with it!" Nia said as another donut hit the Wizard. "Our next reviewer is CrazyCabernet. Oh wow, she wrote a lot," Nia said as she took a deep breath.
"HELLOOOOOOOO, MY DARLINGS! First off, I would like to apologize to the Wicked gang (not including Horrible Morrible and/or the Wizard, and also not Dorothy, because she wasn't even in there) for abandoning them in that big fancy mansion room of mine that was used for my own Q&A fic. I'm so terribly sorry about that, my sweets, I put it on indefinite hiatus and then lost interest and it just sort of ended up dying, so I apologize for that. NOW FOR MY QUESTIONS AND SUCH! :D (I've got one for everybody)
First of all, I recently saw Wicked for the 4th time, and for some reason, when I got out of the theatre and in the car to leave, when I started doing what I always do post-show and imagining various scenarios they might end up in afterwards, my mental image of Fiyero suddenly had longer hair than he did previously. Now I'm seeing like a Jared Padalecki type thing (Nia, if he doesn't know who that is, please show him AND Elphaba a picture of the man, I beg of you) with a bit of stubble, and so I was wondering, Fiyero, have you ever let your hair get any longer than (using him since he was the original) Norbert Leo Butz's, and have you ever gotten scruffy before? If not, is either of those something that you think you might ever let happen in the future? And Elphaba, do you think you would like it if he did? Like, would you think the longer hair was cute on him, and would you find the stubble sexy, that sort of thing?
Next, for the one and only Lady Glinda! OK, you know how with Fiyeraba fics, you ALWAYS seem to end up with Boq? Well, I, personally, can never bring myself to do that because I am a dedicated Bessa shipper (I got your back, Nessa!), and so I was just wondering how you feel about the possibility of being paired with an OC.
Next, for the lovely Miss Nessarose! First of all, can I just say that I personally think you look much prettier with your hair down like it is in the first act than pulled up like in the second act. And your pink headband. That's also very pretty. I like it partly because it keeps your hair out of your face without you having to pull it up or back, but we can still see your beautiful eyes. :) Anyway, my question for you is-and you don't have to answer this if you're uncomfortable with it, I'm just curious-since you're...you know..."the way you are," as Elphaba once said, are you able to, you know, bear children, or is that not physically possible, or do you even know either way? And if not, would adoption ever be something you'd consider?
And next, BOQ, WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON AN AXE?! THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR AGES NOW, AND THE FACT THAT FIYERO DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A DAGGER OR SOMETHING IN HIS BOOT! I MEAN, THAT'S LIKE GOING, "HEY, TIN MAN, HERE, HAVE AN AXE AND GO GET BLOODY REVENGE ON THE WOMAN WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE! SCARECROW, YOU GET NOTHING, AND BY THE WAY, THERE'S A CRAZY HOMICIDAL DUDE MADE OF TIN BENT ON KILLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND, HAVE FUN WITH THAT AND HAVE A NICE DAY, BYYYYE!" SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT?! ...And yeah, I think that's about it. :)"
Nia collapsed on the floor when she finished reading. Elphaba rushed to her and helped her up. "Thank you for that wonderful review!" Nia said as she sat back up in her chair. "And now, your answers," Nia said, looking at her guests.
"Well, first of all, who is Jared Padalecki?" Fiyero asked. Nia took the IPhone from Elphaba, who was still playing Candy Crush, and went on the Internet. She pulled up a picture of him and showed Fiyero and Elphaba.
"I think he's kind of cute!" Glinda said.
"Well, personally, I'm not really a long hair type of guy," Fiyero said shifting in his seat.
"I like Fiyero just the way he is," Elphaba said.
"Even as a scarecrow?" Nia asked.
"Of course," Elphaba said, looking shocked.
"Sorry, just asking," Nia said, not wanting to upset her favorite Wicked Witch of the West.
"Thank you!" Nessa said, glad that someone wanted her and Boq to be together.
"I end up with Boq?" Glinda said, horrified.
"Don't sound so upset about it!" Boq said.
"Well, I guess I wouldn't mind being pared with an OC, it just depends on who he is."
"So, basically, anyone who doesn't stalk you like Boq did," Nia asked, twirling her pen in her fingers.
"Exactly!" Glinda said. Boq gave her a twisted look.
"Well, I started to put my hair in a bun when I became the Governor," Nessa answered.
"But, since Elphaba is your older sister, shouldn't she have become the Governor?" Nia asked.
"She left me alone at Shiz!"
"You left Nessa alone?" Frex shouted at Elphaba.
"I didn't have a choice!" Elphaba shouted back.
"I told you to take care of your sister!" Frex said, standing up.
"Half sister!" Nia interrupted.
"Shhhh!" Glinda said. Nia would have been mad, but since Glinda said it, she sat back down.
"Papa, it's okay! I'm over it," Nessa said, trying to calm Frex down, but Frex wasn't over it.
"You disgrace!" Frex shouted, towering over Elphaba.
"Can I please have that knife now?" Elphaba asked, looking over at Nia.
"No! I can't have you killing him. He needs to stay until the next episode so people can ask him questions!" Nia said, coming closer to Elphaba.
"Papa, please!" Nessa begged. Frex slapped Elphaba across the face, hard. Elphaba fell out of her chair and onto the floor. Elphaba made a noise that sounded like she was crying.
"Elphie!" Glinda shouted as she ran to her best friend. She grimaced when she saw a big bruise covering Elphaba's whole cheek.
"Frex!" Nia shouted advancing towards Frex. Boq pulled her back. "If Elphaba can't kill him, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to, either."
As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that Boq was right.
"Nia, can we have some ice please?" Fiyero asked, hugging his sobbing wife.
Nia looked down at Elphaba. "Ice is not going to help anything," trying to keep herself from screaming. Elphaba was still crying. Nia wrapped her arms around the crying witch and sighed. "Was that really necessary?" Nia asked harshly at Frex.
"She ruined my life! It's her fault Melena died and that Nessa was born crippled!" Frex shouted.
"I can walk now, Papa!" Nessa said.
"And it's not her fault!" the Wizard interjected.
Frex was breathing hard. His body was filled with adrenaline. He looked through Nia's desk.
"Excuse me, but, what are you doing in my desk?" Nia asked.
Frex reappeared with Elphaba's knife.
"NO!" Everyone shouted. Boq ran to Frex and pulled the knife out of his hands.
"Get him out of here!" Elphaba begged, holding Nia's hand. "Please!"
Nia nodded and turned back to Frex. "Get out!" Nia yelled and Frex disappeared.
"Does anyone know first aid?" Fiyero asked. A first aid kit appeared on Nia's desk. Glinda took it and ran back to Elphaba. She rubbed rubbing alcohol on Elphaba's bruise. Elphaba hissed at the pain. When Glinda was finished, Elphaba looked a little bit better, but the bruise was still really bad.
"Okay, now we have one more question from this reviewer and then we can move on. This one is for Fiyero and Boq." Nia said as she placed the first aid kit in her desk.
"About the ax. I just found it," Boq answered.
"So, you stole someone else's ax?" Nia asked, surprised.
"Well, yeah, I guess you could say that," Boq said.
"And I was pretending that I was going to kill Elphaba so we could run away together. It was part of our plan," Fiyero said.
"Plan? What plan?" Dorothy asked.
"I'll explain it during the break," Nia said, looking through her list of reviews. "Okay, our next guest is ExoticPeachBlossom. Welcome back! She says, Lol, These are great! I've got a couple; I dare Elphaba to sing the Defying Gravity song with a lot of passion and oof! And I dare Elphaba to either kiss Boq or Glinda! Ha! Lol. Love your stories! Keep them going!"
"You want me to sing, again?" Elphaba asked, still choked up from getting slapped.
"Only if you want to," Nia said in an almost whisper.
"I'll do it! So, if you care to find me, look to the Western sky. As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly. And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who ground me, take a message back from me!" Elphaba sang her heart out. The audience cheered and clapped for her wonderful performance.
"That was beautiful, Elphaba. Now, you can either kiss Boq or Glinda," Nia said, looking at both of them.
"I'm not kissing a tin face!" Elphaba said. Everyone laughed, except Boq.
"I'm glad Elphaba has her sense of humor back! So, it's Glinda, then?" Nia asked.
Elphaba and Glinda exchanged a weird look. Then leaned closer to each other and placed a quick one on the lips.
"That was quick," Nia commented. Elphaba and Glinda glared at her. "But, it will do. Next we have Mad-Idina-Fan98. We welcome you back to the show. She says, I have an iPhone well a virtual one at least. Aww, I was hoping Elphie and Yero would say something like that. Did we have to change the fish back? I mean really everyone knows that that was her true form. Anyway fish you are the ugliest of the ugly. The wizard I don't mind being turned back. No Boq I don't want you changed back just yet. Maybe ill come around but your hand can be changed for Nessa's sake even though I hate her guts. Sorry Elphie but I do. Ok questions. Wizard if you had the chance to go back to the day you first met Elphaba would you do it differently. Fish nobody likes you so I want Elphie and Glin to both slap you and put whatever spell they want on you. Elphie could you please sing us a song. Yero what's your favorite thing about Elphie I realize there's a lot of ozmazing things about her but can we have a few. Glin was it hard having to celebrate your bestest friends death. Oh and Nia can I please slap Morrible and while I'm at it push her of a cliff in a pit full of crocodiles. Dorothy I want you to sit in a glass room all by yourself and while you're at it take the fish coz you two aren't worthy to sit with the rest. Ok I think I'm done. Love love love and I can't wait for the next update."
"Of course I would," the Wizard said. "I would have placed my dreams aside and helped her, because she looked up to me." Elphaba smiled at the Wizard for the first time.
"Really?" she asked him.
"Really," the Wizard replied. Elphaba ran up to him and gave him a hug. The audience awed at the love that was filling the room.
"I think that deserved a chair. A temporary one at least. But, Wizard, I'm warning you, if you say something that I don't like, the chair goes bye-bye. Got it?" Nia said as another chair appeared with the Wizard's name on it.
"Thank you!" the Wizard said as he sat down in his chair.
"What is with everyone and slapping?" Morrible asked, horrified.
"Sorry, the people want it. Believe me, I am getting a little tired of writing about slapping. It looses it's funny after a while. This is the last one," Nia said as Elphaba and Glinda got up. Elphaba flicked Morrible's cheek and Glinda lightly tapped the bubble wand on Morrible's head. They sat back down with a huff.
"I know, everyone's tired. We're almost done. Elphie, you have another song request," Nia said after a while.
"What song?" Elphaba asked.
"Well, we did As Long As You're Mine and Defying Gravity, so how about The Wizard and I!"
"What?" asked the Wizard.
"It's a song Elphaba sand when she was at Shiz," Nia said, starting the music.
"And I'll stand there, with the Wizard, feeling thing I've never felt. And though I'd never show, I'd be so happy I could…melt! And so it will be for the rest of my life, and I'll want nothing else till I die. Held in such high esteem. When people see me, they will scream. For half of Oz's favorite team, the Wizard and IIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Elphaba sang.
"If you all look under your seats, there is a boxes of tissues for everyone. Because that song was beautiful!" Nia sobbed as she whipped her eyes. The audience did the same.
"You were really hopeful back then, weren't you?" the Wizard asked, looking at Elphaba. Elphaba nodded and looked at her hands.
"My favorite thing about Fae is that she is passionate about everything she does. She doesn't let anything stand in her way. She's brave, compassionate, loyal, beautiful, smart…"
"I didn't know you knew so many words," Elphaba laughed.
"And sarcastic," Fiyero said as he kissed her.
"It was really hard to celebrate Elphie's death. She was my bestest friend and I –"
"Best, Glinda, best!" Elphaba corrected her for about the millionth time.
"Whatever! And I had to fake it. It was really hard," Glinda said as Elphaba wrapped her hands around her.
"NO MORE SLAPPING!" Morrible shouted.
"Sorry, slapping is out. If you can think of anything else, please let me know. I'm open to new ideas for torture," Nia said, looking directly into the camera that was taping the episode.
"I don't want to be all by myself!" Dorothy complained.
"You won't be. You will have Horrible Morrible," Nia said as the glass room appeared.
"Horrible is not my first name!" Morrible said as she stood up.
"It is now!" Nia retorted as she pushed Morrible and Dorothy into the room. "Next, we have Muffinsweep11. Welcome to the show! She says, I have a feeling I'm part of that rare percentage of Wicked Fans who don't actually hate Dorothy. She collapsed a whole palace with her voice, for Oz's sake! And she was good friends with Rain, to be fair. Okay I'll stop defending her now before the larger percentage of Dorothy-haters start throwing virtual tomatoes at me."
"Thank you!" Dorothy said from the glass room.
"Wicked fans that are Dorothy supporters. I like that! Thank you for being honest. And don't worry, we won't throw virtual tomatoes at you!" Nia said, looking through the reviews again. "Now, for our last reviewer, we have MyVisionIsDying back with one more dare for… oh dear," Nia said, reading the paper.
"What? What is it?" Nessa asked.
"I dare Fiyero and Boq to kiss. I mean we've had Gelphie so why not Fiyero x Boq? (need to think of one for that)?"
Everyone burst into laughter. Fiyero turned red and Boq started to gag.
"This is going too far!" Boq yelled.
"I'm with Fae on this one! I am not kissing a tin face!" Fiyero shouted.
"Then, I should get a change back!" Boq argued.
"No, the reviewers want you to stay tin!" Nia said, getting impatient.
"I won't do it unless Boq get's a change back!" Fiyero said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Oh, Fiyero, you're good," Nia said. She snapped her fingers and Boq was human again. Nessa squealed and hugged her crush. Boq stiffened and Nessa let go. "Would it hurt if I punched him?" Nessa asked in a serious tone.
"Hmmm, I guess so. I mean, he's human now. Go right ahead!" Nia encouraged.
Nessa pulled back her arm and punched Boq hard in the stomach. Boq grunted and clutched his stomach.
"Now, kiss!" Nia commanded.
Boq went over to Fiyero. Fiyero held his breath and planted a quick one on Boq's lips. The audience roared with laughter. Glinda, Elphaba and Nessa looked like they were going to faint.
"Wow, even I have to admit, that was awkward. But, well done, boys! Well done!" Nia said as she clapped with the audience.
"Okay, that's it for now! Please stay tuned for the next episode! And also, please try to refrain from making slapping part of the dares or questions. It's getting boring writing about people getting slapped. As funny as it is, it's getting very old. Thank you, keep reviewing and we'll be back in a bit!"
"Can I please have the IPhone back?" Elphaba asked.
"I think you're becoming addicted," Nia said in a concerned tone.
"I am not!" Elphaba said, biting her fingernails.
"Sure! Okay!" Nia said as she handed Elphaba the IPhone.
Elphaba grabbed it and went onto Tumblr. "When did you make a Tumblr?" Fiyero asked, looking over at the phone.
"Oh no…" Nia said as the lights dimmed.
Special thank you to Elphaba'sGirl, CrazyCabernet, ExoticPeachBlossom, Mad-Idina-Fan98, Muffinsweep11, and MyVisionIsDying