Sorry it took so long to update, my birthday was yesterday and I've been running around a lot. Anyways, here's the next chapter!
November 10th, 2008
Dear Diary,
It's been over a week since I first met Spencer. 8 days since I felt my heart break over someone I could never have. I know it's wrong. I have a girlfriend and I'm crushing on her best friend. Great. Tomorrow Kayla and I are supposed to go to dinner with her, then we're going to chill at the park, I guess. It was Spencer's idea. Being stuck in this situation I decided to write some lyrics.
I see you
I'm waiting to make
my move
But i'm scared
And I know that you got
Better things
to do
I'll touch your hand
And i'm wearing my heart on my
sleeve
It's cliché I know
But baby it's the price we pay
To
get the things we've wanted
To get the things we've left
behind
It's what you've wanted
What you needed
What you've
always dreamt about
Don't take another step
And don't breathe
another breath
I'm trusting you
And i'm taking the long way
home
I'm leaving
It's not because of you
Will you just hold
me tight
And never let me go?
I know this whole things
wrong
But baby, we're invincible
If I could take these
words
And fill them up with air
I'd fly you to the stars
So
we can disappear
If I could take your heart
And keep it close
to me
I swear it will not break
I swear it will not bleed
And
I
Believe
Just anything you say
If you would tell me to get
lost
I'd ask "how far away?"
And now its getting
late
And i can't keep my eyes open
My hearts open for you
I'm
trusting you
And i'm taking the long way home
I'm leaving
It's
not because of you
Will you just hold me tight
And never let me
go?
I know this whole things wrong
But baby, we're
invincible
Will you just hold me tight
And never let me
go?
I know this whole things wrong
But baby, we're
invincible
Will you just hold me tight (I see you)
And
never let me go? (I'm waiting to make my move)
I know this whole
things wrong (But i'm scared and I know)
But baby, we're
invincible (That you got better things to do)
I'm trusting you
(If I could take these words)
And i'm taking the long way home
(And fill them up with air)
I'm leaving (I'd fly you to the
stars)
It's not because of you (So we can disappear)
Will you
just hold me tight (If I could take your heart)
And never let me
go (and keep it close to me)
I know this whole things wrong (I
swear it will not break)
But baby, we're invincible (I swear it
will not bleed)
I have never really been able to express how I feel very well. So, I started writing it down. Eventually I got pretty good at it, and I started using the lyrics with a guitar. From there I moved onto a keyboard. Music is now my escape. Its my own little thing and I never play for anyone. I like it that way.
-The next day-
I'm on my way to pick up Kayla and then head out to Applebee's to meet up with Spencer. I'm not gonna lie, I'm way too excited but I'm trying to hide it. We arrive and find Spencer already there with a table ready for us. She looks lovely. She has a cute yellow sundress on and her hair is wavy. I sit in the same booth with Kayla and Spencer is directly across from me. We exchange small talk until the waitress comes over to take our orders. I get wings, Kayla gets a salad and Spencer gets pasta. We're eating, when I feel a leg rub against my own. It startled me and I jumped a little. Kayla gives me a weird look and goes back to eating. Spencer just chuckled and blushed slightly, before I felt the leg rubbing mine again. I can't hold back a grin so I cover it up saying that a little kid just threw food on his parents.
After dinner we go to the park and decide to swing. I get in the middle of Spencer and Kayla on purpose. Kayla takes my hand, and starts swinging.
"Kayla, can I hold your girlfriends hand too?" Spencer asked Kayla.
"Sure, as long as that's all youre planning on doing!" Kayla replies laughing.
The next thing I know my hand is being grasped by Spencer. She intertwines our fingers and I notice how soft her hands are. My heart starts racing. Come on Ash, get a hold of yourself!