Here's the next chapter. Oh, the song in the previous post was by A Rocket to the Moon.

Dear Diary,

Is it wrong that when I hold her, I wish I was holding someone else? Am I damned because I picture her in my head every night before I go to sleep? Do I deserve her? Oh my dearest Diary, won't you answer my questions?

I want to do it right with her. I want to work for her. I want to make her want me like I want her. I want to give her the world on a silver platter. So many things I picture in my mind, that will never happen. Or maybe they will. Maybe I need to stop WANTING and start DOING.

That was my rant. I finally got Spencer's number and since she was on my mind, which she always is, I decided to text her.

Hey you, what's up? –ash

Nothing, nothing. Where's Kayla? I'm bored and I need company =[ -spencer

Kayla's out with her parents right now, but I could always keep you company? –ash

Ok, meet me at the park. –spencer.

That was our conversation. Now I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't left to meet her in the park? Bye Diary.

I got in my Mustang GT, threw it in drive and headed to the park. I was pretty nervous so I decided to light up a cig. It's a bad habit, I know. But I only smoke when I'm depressed or nervous. Sometimes when I'm drunk too.

I pulled into the parking lot and looked for her car. She drove a black Altima. I found it and walked over to see if she was sitting in her car. She wasn't. Hmm, where could she be? I walked into the park and scanned the people. I always liked the park. I liked watching parents chasing their kids around. I wondered if I would ever get to that point in my life.

I knew Spencer liked the swings so I went in that direction. Sure enough she was there, swinging. The sun shined off of her gorgeous blonde hair, and tanned skin. I walked up behind her without her noticing and on her way back I slapped her ass and yelled "BOO". She almost fell out of the swing.

"Hey Ashley, you almost killed me!" She said with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I know, I'm sorry. That's for you making me look for you."

"Oh, sorry. Want to swing with me?" She asked and crooked her head to the side. How could I say no?

"You know it Blondie" was my reply. I must be losing my touch with women, who would say something like that. Geesh.

We swung for a few minutes, laughing and making jokes about the people around us. She grabbed my hand. I guess she liked holding hands while she swung. I guess I do too. Spencer was in the middle of saying something when a little girl walked up to us and asked if she could use the swing. Gladly we let her. She was adorable. We started to walk away when a blonde woman came up to us, I'm guessing it was the child's mother.

"I'm so sorry about that, you don't have to give up your swings for her if you don't want to." She was very nice.

Spencer spoke before I could. "It's no problem really, she was too adorable to deny." Good one.

"You're sweet, so are you two together?"

Spencer looked between the woman and I, wondering what to say so I decided to step up.

"No, we're just friends" I said looking at the ground, glancing over at Spencer who's face seemed to drop a little.

"You guys would make the most lovely couple" the woman said with a sparkle in her eye. I couldn't help but to smile. Spencer smiled too.

Then another woman walked up to us, she was a brunette, and put her arm around the blonde.

The blonde spoke. "This is my wife, Jesse. Oh and I'm Stephanie." They both held out their hands and their warm smiles seemed to invite both myself and Spencer in. We shook the women's hands.

"I'm Ashley, This is Spencer."

"It's very nice to meet the both of you. We're here at the park just about every other day with Braylin. Hopefully we'll run into you two again soon, but as for right now we have a hyper daughter to take care of." Jesse said.

We shared a laugh and watched them go to the swings and push little Braylin around.

Spencer tugged me along and we walked in silence for a while before she decided to speak.

"So that was kind of cute" She said giggling.

"Oh yeah, how do you figure that?"

"She thought we were together, and obviously thinks we should get together."

"How is that cute?"

"Never mind, Ash." She said and turned away from me. Her arms crossed and her head arched down low.

"Spencer, what is wrong?" I asked and put my arm on the small of her back.

"Nothing is wrong. Look, I need to go home. Thanks for coming to hang out with me. It was fun." She said and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Wait, at least let me walk you to your car?" I jogged to catch up with her.

We got to her car and she was about to open the door to get in before I pulled her into a hug. A big hug. She pulled away with a weird look on her face. I started to turn around before she pulled me closer and kissed me on the forehead.

"I'll text you later, alright?" She smiled.

"Sure, I'll be waiting for it" I said and gave her a squeeze before going back to my car.

I sat there for 30 minutes replaying what had happened in my head. Her actions confused me. Maybe I just overanalyze everything way too much. Maybe she didn't mean anything by what she said. Maybe she did. I'll just have to wait and find out.