"And we're back with… hey, where did Elphaba go?" Nia said, looking at her long list of reviews.
"Elphaba!" Nessa called.
Elphaba slowly walked back onstage, clutching her stomach. She looked like she was about five months along.
"Elphie, are you feeling okay?" Glinda asked.
"Well, if you had to have a person inside of you growing at this rate, wouldn't you feel sick?" Elphaba roared as she sat down in her seat.
"Right. Sorry," Glinda apologized.
"No, Glinda, I'm sorry. Nia, can we please get on with the interview?" Elphaba asked.
Nia nodded as she started to read the first review. "Our first review comes from snoozinghamster, Hi. Ok. Any ideas on the baby? Do you want a boy or a girl, and Morrible, as I hate you I have this, but I'm not entirely. So it's your Morrible do you want to be pushed off a cliff or turned into that disgusting sandwich from a while back or do you want to kiss Your And it has to happen."
"It doesn't matter the gender of the baby. As long as he or she is healthy," Fiyero said, kissing Elphaba's hand, causing the green girl to blush.
"What?" Morrible asked.
"You can be turned into the sandwich," Nia said. In a poof of purple smoke, Morrible was gone and replaced by the sandwich. "She can get a change back when she gets another question. Now, we have Elphaba'sGirl, Oh Oz, GLINDA SAID SHE LIKED ME! Let's just take a moment and consider this; Lady Glinda Arduenna Upland of the Upper Uplands in Gillikin, the Good Witch of the North, just said she liked me. I feel so great right now! On that note, how do the rest of you feel about me? (I'm asking Elphaba Fiyero Melena Morrible Boq Dorothy Toto and like everyone else) OH SWEET OZ I GOT A PIECE OF FIYERO's HAIR! *insane fangirling* LALALALALALALALALALALA! And it's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo Alright, your hair is dark. Thanks, Yero (sorry I stole your nickname, Elphaba) Melena, what is your favorite thing about each of your daughters? That's all for now!"
"Oz, fangirls!" Elphaba growled.
"Hormones!" Fiyero whispered. Elphaba slapped him in the back of the head. "Shut up!" she scolded.
"Oz, Fae, you didn't have to…"
"Fiyero," Nia interrupted. "I would listen to Elphaba if I were you."
Fiyero looked over at his wife. Her eyes were burning and she wore a scowl that could make milk curl.
"Please continue with the question," Fiyero said, inching away from Elphaba.
"I love fanigirls!" Glinda chirped.
"No comment. Everyone hates us!" Dorothy, Morrible and the Wizard said together.
"Woof!" barked Toto.
"Well, I love the fact that they both inherited by good genes," Melena laughed. Elphaba forced a smile onto her face.
"Now we have Toolazytosignin," everyone snickered. "A.K.A. Moreanswers24, who says Like my name, I was too lazy to sign in, but I think you'll remember me...I threatened Fiyero with a pitchfork an episode after the engagement. Anyway, congratulations you two on your Little Fiyeraba baby. Can I buy he/or she a whole new wardrobe, because I am in a shopping mood. And Glinda...since I know you probably wanted to be the one to buy Elphie's baby clothes. I would be deeply honored if you were to accompany me during my shopping trip. Also I kinda need a makeover so I guess you can help me with that. Now Glinda...I will give you the option to squeal now or later. But after this; Fiyero...I want to apologize- *turns around and talks to therapist, who's making me apologize* Anyway I want to apologize for threatening to stick you with a pitchfork, even though *receives glare from therapist* because it was the wrong thing to do. And I'm sorry. Ok Glinda, you can squeal now if you want. Goodbye, until we meet again; when I actually sign in and become Moreanswers24."
"We can go shopping together!" Glinda said, pulling multiple credit cards out of her purse.
"Apology accepted," Fiyero said with a big forgiving smile on his face. Elphaba groaned and put her head on Fiyero's shoulder.
"Elphaba, do you want to take another nap?" Nia asked, concern for the safety of Elphaba.
"Stop babying me!" Elphaba shouted. A fireball appeared in her right hand. Nia's eyes widened as she ducked behind the desk. Elphaba began to slowly calm down and extinguished the fireball. Nia peeked her eyes above the desk to check and see if the coast was clear.
"Okay, then" Nia said slowly. "Next, we welcome FiyerabaRules, who says THE BEST INTERVEIW EVER! Elphie and Fiyero, what will you name your children?
Frex, are you truly happy for Elphaba? Cuz you better be! She finally has love in her life and if you're not happy, THEN GO DIE IN A HOLE! By the way, I am warming up to you Frex, so enjoy it! Also, I don't really want you to die in a hole! Morrible, you are really nice now! And I forgive you, and I hope everyone else does! Dorothy, I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT! Keep wearing it, it's adorable! Ok, that's all I have for now, TTFN, Ta Ta for Now! And ttyl-xox!"
"Thank you!" Dorothy said, smoothing out her skirt.
"Elphaba and I haven't decided on any names yet," Fiyero explained.
"Well, if it's a girl, you can name her Nia. If it's a boy… whatever you want," Nia smiled.
Elphaba let out a soft chuckle. "Great idea!" she said, causing Nia to blush.
"I'm happy that Elphaba is happy," Frex said, looking at Elphaba. Elphaba refused to look at him. Frex sighed as Nia continued.
"Now we have artsoccer, who reviewed a lot, so I'm just going to do everything at once."
"Meaning?" Elphaba asked.
"This!" Nia answered. "Go figure, as I'm typing this I realize that the add next to my review box is for a copy of LIFE magazine that is celebrating the 75 anniversary of "The Wizard of Oz" movie, and Wicked is the best version of that story. Elphaba, how does it feel to know that the Wicked Wizard of Oz is your father? Glinda, would you get mad at me if I called you "Glinda 'the ga is silent'
Good Witch of the North"? Fiyero, how do you feel about Gelphie? Nessarose, why did you have to become the Wicked Witch of the East just because Boq doesn't love you? No, that wasn't a typo. Boq, why did you stick with Nessarose if you really love Glinda "the ga is silent" Good Witch of the North? Morrible, is your first name really Horrible? Dorothy, why the heck did you steal a dead woman's shoes?! Toto, do you like being in Oz?"
"I guess I've gotten used to it," Elphaba said.
"What now?" Fiyero asked.
"Gelphie. When people ship Elphaba and Glinda together," Nia explained.
"Like… lovers?"
"Exactly!"
Fiyero shifted in his seat. "Well… you see… I… everyone has their own opinion."
"I was upset. I told the whole story about how I thought that Boq was in love with me!" Nessa shouted.
"She made me! I wasn't free to leave Munchkinland!" Boq argued. Nessa scowled at him and sighed.
"No, my first name isn't Horrible!" Morrible argued. "I said my name in an earlier chapter and I'm not going to say it again!"
"Glinda gave them to me!" Dorothy yelled, crossing her arms.
"Woof!" barked Toto.
"I've given up," Nia said, shaking her head.
"Give Boq a chair, he was only trying to please his hearts desire. Make Nessa sit on the floor, the evil **. Nessarose, your father always doted on you, so WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THAT FACT TO YOUR ADVANTIGE AND TRY TO GET FREX TO STOP ABUSING POOR ELPHABA!? Just because I'm feeling Evil today, I dare Elphaba to locked in a closet with Frex, I want to see how long it takes one of them to kill the other (Make sure Frex is the one who dies)"
"Boq has a chair and I like Nessa," Nia explained.
"I would try, but Frex wouldn't listen to me!" Nessa argued.
Frex sighed.
"No closet!" Elphaba said as she ran offstage.
"Great!" Fiyero muttered.
"What was that, Tigelaar?" Elphaba hissed from offstage.
"Nothing, honey!" Fiyero said in a sugarcoated voice.
Elphaba came back onstage. She moaned as she sat back down.
"NO MORE SLAPPING?! Got it FYT THIS IS TOO FUNNY! Okay, okay, ok, I gots to shove a Pie into Morrible's face! Just as long as it's not The Ultimate Queen of Cliffies kind of pie from her story "Yero my Hero" I'm still traumatized *shutters* JK (about the traumatized part anyway) How do you use a Tumblr? I have an account under the same pen name, but I don't know how to use it (I'm serious) Maybe Elphaba and I can meet on Tumblr (if that's possible)"
"Didn't you create a Tumblr on Nia's IPhone?" Glinda asked Elphaba.
"I did. But I can't remember the password," Elphaba said sadly.
"And no pies!" Morrible shouted, applying a fifth layer of power to her face.
"And now she says… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nia laughed.
"What? What do we have to do now?" Elphaba asked.
"Well, she asked me not to read it out loud, but…" Nia said as some of the leftover wedding cake appeared on her desk.
"What is the leftover wedding cake doing here?" Nessa asked.
"Elphaba and Fiyero have to throw wedding cake at each other!" Nia laughed.
Elphaba looked shocked. "Throw wedding cake?"
"That sounds childish!" Fiyero complained.
"That's the point!" Nia said, grabbing a handful of cake and placing it in Elphaba's hand.
Elphaba smiled and threw the cake at Fiyero's face. The audience roared with laughter. Fiyero wiped the cake from his face and grabbed a handful of cake.
"It's on now!" He said, releasing the cake.
The battle went on for about half an hour. "And… stop!" Nia called. The entire stage was covering in cake icing. So were Glinda, Nessa, Boq and Dr. Dillamond. Nia handed out towels to her quests.
"COULD BRING ON THE FLYING MONKIES! Dr. Dillamond, how do you feel about the fact that Galinda changed her name to Glinda in your honor?"
"You did Miss Glinda?" Dr. Dillamond asked, surprised. "I thought that you were very fond of your name?"
"I was. But… um… it's kind of a long story,"
"We have all the time in the world," Fiyero said.
"Actually, we don't. My lunch break is almost over," Nia explained.
"So Dorothy how's Dodo doing (I did that on purpose XD)?"
Dorothy growled. "Toto! It's Toto! T-O-T-O! Get it right, people!"
"Feisty!" Nia laughed.
"And, to answer you're question, he's fine!" Dorothy said. Toto took this as the perfect opportunity to take a nap in Dorothy's lap.
"Will you please read/show I guess all of my reviews to date :) I'M IN "LEAP OF
FAITH"! I was Emma :) WHERE'S MY BROOMSTICK!? Elphaba, would you rather have a boy or a girl, or twins? Fiyero, same question to you KILL THE FREX! NIA, STOP TRYING TO MAKE FREX AND MORRIBLE LIKEABLE! FREX/MORRIBLE HUNTERS UNITE!"
"It's true! She played Emma in my other story," Nia explained.
"What's it about?" Elphaba asked.
"You and Fiyero moved to New York and have a green daughter named Faith! Faith is kidnapped by Morrible and you recruit past and present Wicked actors and actresses to help rescue her," Nia explained.
"A green daughter?" Elphaba asked, her hand flying to her stomach.
"It was part of the plot," Nia said.
"Oh. And, like Fiyero, I don't care what the gender is, as long as the baby is healthy."
"I like being liked," Morrible and Frex complained.
"I think that too many stories show them as evil," Nia explained.
"Do you think that we're evil?" Morrible asked.
"Evil is a strong word. Probably more like 'stupid' or 'numskulls'," Nia smiled.
"Can we stop now?" Elphaba asked,
"Sure, that's it for now. Don't forget to read and review! Thank you! Elphaba, would you like to take a nap now?" Nia asked.
Elphaba scowled at her. That scowl lasted all of two seconds, because she was interrupted by a yawn. She slowly nodded as Fiyero took her hand and led her backstage as the lights dimmed.
Special thanks to snoozinghamster, Elphaba'sGirl, Moreanswers24, FiyerabaRules, and artsoccer