"Horrors!"
Everyone's heads snapped up and looked around, wondering who spoke.
"Horrors!"
"Who said that?" Glinda asked.
"I… don't… wait, Elphie?" Nia said, glaring at the green witch.
"I didn't say anything!" Elphaba argued.
"Horrors!"
"Rainy!" Fiyero said, picking up his daughter.
"Horrors!" Rainy smiled.
"Horrors?" Fiyero asked, raising an eyebrow at his wife.
"What?" Elphaba asked.
"Never mind," Nia said, moving on with the interview.
"Can we please switch back now?" Galinda asked, looking down at her dress.
"Not yet," Nia said, starting the interview. "First, we have TheWickedrae, who says LOL she has more tech than you?! Wow I really didn't expect that! Glinda what would you have done if you knew the wizard was Elphie's father? Nia I think they've been wearing those dresses long enough *Gets on stage switches dresses back* I'm blank wait... oh! Elphaba if you were doing a role-play with Glinda what character would you be?! Fiyero, same question! Nia *cough cough* scene * cough cough* I think the sorting of the hat was very interesting not that I'm a big harry potter fan but I think Elphaba should be in Slytherin (for her characteristics I'm not calling her evil); Glinda, Hufflepuff I don't think Frex deserves to be sorted *ignores him for now*. Elphaba, go on Fanfiction and look at Nia's reviews on New World New York, they're hil-ari-ous! Wizard, mmm, have you Elphaba made up yet? Boq, have you gone on a date with Nessa yet? Dr. Dillamond, Chistery, I'm sorry about taking your cookies away but I really don't want you to get sick. My friend's dog ate a brownie and got REALLY REALLY sick. I just don't want that to happen to you but I brought you these * Hands Dillamond a bundle hay and Chistery a bunch of bananas* Nia, STOP HURTING MORRIBLE FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME! Nia, remember scene is either about Glinda gives everyone but Elphaba a make over, cat fight between all the girls (the girls were joking no magic just saying that now) then the boys end up fighting as well. Frex, I'm really upset about something and I'm bored as well mind if I take it out on you? *Does black belt karate* if the broom fits, ride it dude! *Kicks across stage* I feel much better now... Nessa! I can't help but say this but... you're so cute! The way you described your dream man awww I'm looking for a guy like that too! Boq, you can be such an idiot sometimes! Now I was going to say something... oh yeah FREX, I KNOW I'M PICKING ON YOU A LOT BUT YOU'RE AN OZ FOR SACKEN IDIOT! NIA PLEASE MAKE HIM FALL INTO A PIT OF SLIME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Dorothy, can I hold Toto? Gosh, I think I'm the only one who actually remembered his name? And when is your birthday? What were you going to say before you were so rudely interrupted by Nia? *Looks at Nia* That's a lot of typing... that's all for now. Bye!"
"Yes. Yes she does," Nia said, looking down. "And it's very embarrassing."
"YES!" Glinda exclaimed as she got her bubble dress back. Elphaba also smiled as her elegant black dress was returned to her.
"Oh… um… I don't know. We don't really role-play a lot," Elphaba answered, looking from Glinda to Fiyero.
"We will do the scene at the end of the episode," Nia announced.
"The sorting was random," Fiyero answered, glaring at Nia.
"Yeah, Nia didn't put a lot of effort into it," Frex said.
"SHUT UP!" Nia shouted.
Elphaba pulled out her new iPhone and went on Fanfiction. She read Nia's reviews and laughed. "Nia, this is so funny!"
"Thanks!" Nia smiled, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"We made up," Oscar said, looking at his daughter.
"We went on our date," Nessa said, looking at her hands.
"And?" Nia said, sensing more.
"It was okay, I guess."
"Boq didn't do anything… romantic?"
"No."
"BOQ!" Nia shouted at the Munchkin.
"What? I'm not the romantic type!"
"Yes, you are! I've seen you make those googlely eyes at Glinda. Don't you give me that look, mister!"
"What?"
"ARG!" Nia exclaimed, face palming.
Dr. Dillamond scrunched up his nose as the hay landed in his lap. Chistery scowled.
"What's wrong?" Dorothy asked.
"I liked the cookies better," Chistery said, tossing a banana over his shoulder.
"Sorry, but I can't have you two getting sick. I'll think of something," Nia promised. "And we won't hurt Morrible anymore."
"Thank you," Morrible said gratefully.
"Pit of slime!" Nia shouted offstage. A pit of green slime appeared in front of Nia's desk.
"I'm not jumping in that!" Frex said.
"No problem," Nia smiled, walking over to Frex and pulling him out of his chair by the collar.
"NOOOO!" Frex exclaimed as Nia threw him into the green slime. The audience laughed as Frex emerged a few minutes later, covered from head to toe in green slime.
"Thank you for getting my dog's name right!" Dorothy said, holding out her dog. TheWickedrae ran out onstage and grabbed the small dog from Dorothy. "And my birthday is March 1."
"Nia…" Elphaba said slowly.
"What?" Nia asked.
"Whose birthday is that?"
"Dorothy's!"
"And?"
"Lindsay Mendez's," Nia whispered after a long pause.
"And I was going to say that the look on Nia's face when she saw what was happening. Someone was outside the stage door giving Elphaba a box of electronics. Nia looked like she was going to explode or something."
Nia glared at the young farm girl before continuing with the interview. "Next we have FiyerabaRules, who says AMAZIFYING! DONT FORGET TO DO THE SCENE! (If u already did it because another reviewer told u to do it, sorry!) Now, Frex, you must act like Fiyero for a whole episode! I wish it would be two, but that would be up to Nia to decide. And you must wear the Tight Fiyero pants (Not the ones Fiyero has worn, but we will I will make you some)! How is Rainy doing? If you want, I can get some supplies, just tell me what u need and I'll get it. K, that's it, ttfn!"
Nia laughed as she pulled out a pair of tight white pants for Frex.
"Oh, heck no!" Frex exclaimed.
"Put these on!" Nia commanded, handing Frex the pants.
Frex grumbled as he walked off the stage to put on the pants. He came out a few minutes later, walking very slowly.
"Fiyero, how do you wear these tight pants?" Frex complained.
Fiyero was too busy laughing to answer.
"I think we're good for now," Elphaba said, looking down at her daughter, who was on a mission to put her foot in her mouth.
"Great! Now we welcome Elphaba'sGirl. Welcome back to the show! She says Okay; first in another musical Frex would be the Grinch. Not that that really qualifies as a musical... Does it? Idk. Dorothy, what is your weapon of choice? (If you say water it won't be pretty...). Morrible: how many times have you died in a fanfic? What does it take to kill you so that you cannot EVER come back to life? Elphaba? Do you have your broom with you? Can I touch it...? Glinda; in a letter (as in a letter that you are writing to someone) how would you address each person? Rainy, why are you so cute? Wait, I know that answer. Because she has a beautiful mommy and a handsome daddy. Yes she does. Nia; what is your favorite episode of this so far? Also, why will you not update again right to he second? :-) Tadiós!"
"Weapon of choice?" Dorothy asked. Nia nodded. "Well, probably… a sword."
"Very effective. I prefer the ax," Boq said.
"I have magic," Elphaba smiled.
"I had a gun, but Nia made me give it up when I came here," Fiyero said glumly.
"Fiyero, I couldn't let you have a gun. Do you know how dangerous those are?" Nia asked, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Yes," Fiyero said.
Nia opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped herself.
"People kill me all the time," Morrible said, looking down on the floor. "I can never die!"
"Good to know," Nia muttered, wondering how she was going to kill Morrible in her story, Friends of Oz.
"I don't have it. Nia hid it," Elphaba answered, glaring at the teenager.
"Because I don't want you flying away. There's a method to my madness!" Nia argued.
"Well, let's see. Elphie is My bestest friend in the whole wide world. Fiyero would be My dearest darlingest Fifi McCuties. I don't know about everyone else, though."
"Feeling the love," Nessa said sarcastically.
"Mama?" Rainy asked, looking up at her mother.
"Yes, love?" Elphaba smiled.
"Horrors?"
"Where did she learn that word?" Fiyero asked his wife.
"I don't know," Elphaba answered.
"That was Elphaba's first word in the book," Nia pointed out. "And my favorite episode is when we showed the wedding video."
"I liked that one, too!" Melena smiled.
"Me three!" Glinda agreed.
Nia smiled as she pulled out her next review. "Now, we have woodland59, who finally decided to log in. Thank you! Woodland59 says, Hehehe... I logged in. Okay, so, onto the questions: Elphaba: I dare you to sing Popular to Glinda, wearing pink and giving her a makeover and acting really perky. Glinda: You must squeal as loud as you can. Nessa: Did you and Boq enjoy the date? (Boq, you'd better have!) Fiyero: Which nickname do you prefer, Fifi or Yero? Frexina: I dare you and Morrible to sing opera together!"
"No!" Elphaba said, stubbornly crossing her arms in front of her.
"Please, Elphie?" Nia said, giving Elphaba her best Galinda puppy dog eyes.
"No!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
Nia huffed and snapped her fingers. Elphaba looked down and saw that she was wearing Galinda's Popular dress.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Sing the song and you can have your Act 2 dress back," Nia said, getting out her video camera.
"Glinda, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project."
Glinda laughed. Elphaba shot her a look and she stopped to say her line. "You really don't have to do that."
"I know," Elphaba muttered.
"Sing!" Nia smiled.
"Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I . And let's face it - who isn't less fortunate than I? My tender heart tends to start to bleed. And when someone needs a makeover I simply have to take over I know, I know, exactly what they need . And even in your case… though it's the toughest case I've yet to face . Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed, follow my lead . And yes, indeed…you will… be... Popular! You're gonna be popular! I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys . Little ways to flirt and flounce . Ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear . How to fix your hair . Everything that really counts to be popular . I'll help you be popular! You'll hang with the right cohorts . You'll be good at sports. Know the slang you've got to know . So let's start , 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go. Don't be offended by my frank analysis . Think of it as personality dialysis . Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a sister and adviser . There's nobody wiser Not when it comes to popular - I know about popular And with an assist from me To be who you'll be Instead of dreary who you were… well are. There's nothing that can stop you From becoming popu ler… lar. La la la la! We're gonna make you popular! When I see depressing creatures , with unprepossessing features, I remind them on their own behalf to… think… of … celebrated heads of state or especially great communicators ! Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular! Please! It's all about popular! It's not about aptitude , it's the way you're viewed. So it's very shrewd to be, very very popular , like me!" Elphaba sang.
"This is never going to work!" Galinda giggled.
Elphaba sighed and flopped on the bed.
"Elphaba you're not done yet! You still have to do the 'Toss, toss' and the 'Ball gown!'" Nia reminded her.
"Toss, toss," Elphaba sighed.
"Like you mean it!"
"Toss, toss!"
"Now do the ball gown!"
Elphaba scowled at Nia. Nia met her with an equally intimidating frown.
"Fine!" Elphaba gave in. She took the wand from under the pillow and waved it. "Ball gown! BALL GOWN! Is this thing on?"
"Do you want me to try?" Glinda asked.
"Just wear the frock, it's pretty," Elphaba said, throwing the wand over her shoulder. "And now for the finishing touch." She felt her hair and found G(a)linda's flower. She took it out and placed it in Glinda's gentle curls. "Why, Miss Glinda, look at you. You're beautiful."
"Yes, I am!" Glinda smiled into the mirror Elphaba gave her. She happily skipped back to her seat, leaving Elphaba to finish the rest of the song.
"And though you protest, your disinterest. I know clandestinely. You're gonna grin and bear it ! Your new found popularity! La la la la You'll be popular! Just not quite as popular as meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
The audience cheered as Elphaba finished the song. She ran back to her seat.
"Alright, Nia. Give me back my dress now, please!"
It took Nia a while to recover from her laughing fit, but she changed Elphaba's dress back.
"Thank you," Elphaba huffed, slumping back into her seat.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!" Glinda squealed.
Everyone covered their ears, not expecting the blonde to squeal that loudly.
"The date was okay," Nessa sighed, trying to regain her hearing.
"It was fine," Boq agreed.
"I like both. But Fifi sounds too… perky," Fiyero admitted. "Yero sounds more… romantic."
"Cute!" Nia happily sighed.
"I am not singing Opera!" Frex said, jumping out of his seat.
"Neither am I!" Morrible huffed.
"If I had more energy, I would make you. But it's late and I'm tired, so I'll let it slide. But, just this once!" Nia said, getting out the next review. "Next, we have artsoccer, who says, I dare everyone (Nia included) to participate in a Banana eating contest. Who can eat the most bananas in 10 minutes. Whoever wins will get a free pear :)"
"A free pear of what?" Fiyero asked.
"No, Fiyero. She means a free pear. As in, the fruit," Elphaba sighed.
"No more bananas!" Chistery shouted.
"This is the last time," Nia said as a large basket of bananas appeared on her desk. "And… GO!"
Nia, Elphaba, Glinda and Fiyero began to stuff their faces with bananas. Chistery looked at the basket for a moment before peeling one of the bananas.
"TIME!" one of the audience members called.
Elphaba and Glinda were on the floor, full from all of the bananas. Nia clutched her stomach as she sat back down.
"Who won?" Boq asked.
"Not me," Chistery said, casually throwing the banana peel away.
"I think it was Melena," Dorothy said, looking up at the only person who didn't look stuffed.
"I won?" Melena asked in surprise.
Nia nodded as a blue ribbon appeared in her hands. She gracefully handed it to Melena. "Congratulations!"
"Thanks!" Melena smiled as everyone returned to their seats.
"Next, we have hopeforthefandoms, who says, Hullo everyone! I've got some questions: 1) To everyone: Are you in any fandoms (besides Wicked, though I don't even think that would qualify since you're characters)? 2) To Elphaba and Fiyero: What would Rainy's name be if she were a boy? 3) To everyone except for Dr. Dillamond and Chistery: What is your favorite dessert? *Gives Dr. Dillamond and Chistery organic treats safe for animals (or Animals, whichever you prefer)* That's all for now!"
"No, not really," Elphaba admitted. "We usually stick to Wicked, and sometimes The Wizard of Oz."
"Well, I don't know what Rainy's name would be," Fiyero said. "Probably Fiyero Jr. or something."
"You're hilarious," Elphaba smirked.
"Cupcakes!" Glinda smiled.
"Pumpkin cake!" Nessa said.
"Chocolate cake," Elphaba answered.
"Crumb cake," Fiyero said.
"Ice cream!" Melena said.
"I don't have one," Frex answered.
"Neither do I," Morrible said.
"I like anything chocolate," Oscar said.
"Me too!" Boq agreed.
"Fruit cake," Dorothy answered.
"Thank you," Dr. Dillamond said glumly as he and Chistery took the treats.
"Alright, now we have a guest, who is…. Wow!" Nia said, looking at her reviews.
"What?" Dorothy asked.
"It's WickedBrony, reviewing as a guest. Well, anyway, WickedBrony says Hey, WickedBrony here. Sorry, I can't log in because I'm using an app. Anywho, quick question for Chistery, Elphaba, Fiyero, Dr. Dillamond, and Glinda. For reasons that will totally make sense in context, if your descendants from three hundred years in the future suddenly popped into your life for reasons of mixed up spell, what would you do? Also, quick book verse reference. Dr. Dillamond, do you have any siblings and, by extension, nieces or nephews? You imply that you do in the book. Chistery, I have to say I'm a little surprised you ended up in Gryffindor. I thought you a little more of a Hufflepuff. Also, exactly what kind of Monkey are you? Spider? Squirrel? Columbus? And to the both of you, TheWickedRae does have a point. For Dr. Dillamond at least, those foods contain animal products like eggs and for a creature that's technically an herbivore, I don't think that would set in your stomach very well. Even my cookies had eggs and milk in them! And I got them from a questionable farmer in Munchkinland! Wait, did I say too much? Well, I gotta go before any implications set in. Here's some Animal friendly vegan treats!"
"I would ask them about the future," Glinda smiled.
"We already know what happens about 100 years into the future. It would be nice to know what happens 200 years later," Elphaba answered. Fiyero nodded in agreement.
"I don't know what I would do," Chistery answered.
"Me neither. I guess I would do the same as Miss Glinda," Dr. Dillamond said.
"Well, I don't think so. I don't think so in the musical, but the book is different. I probably do," Dr. Dillamond, wondering if he had family members that he doesn't know about.
"Spider," Chistery answered. "And the sorting was random."
"Nia, you really couldn't have thought harder?" Glinda asked.
Nia sent the blonde a death glare as the interview continued.
"I feel fine!" Dr. Dillamond shouted.
"Me too!" Chistery added.
"I'm sorry. There have to be some tasty treats out there for you two somewhere," Nia said. "Lastly, we have Nat, a guest reviewer. Welcome to the show! Nat says, Hey Nia, this is an awesome story! Can I come up and say hi to Elphaba and Nessa? (I'm a very big Nessa supporter) Also, can I poke Morrible? I find it hard to believe that someone as evil as her could actually be real. Please have some hand sanitizer ready for before I go and sit down. Questions: For everybody- What is your favorite kind of smoothie? Nessa- As I said before I support you and you are amazing! Fiyero- Why on earth were you put in Ravenclaw? Elphaba- You are awesome too! :) Nia- Why are there two Melenas on the house listing, with different houses for each one? Which one is the right house? Update this story and your other stories soon please! They are all awesome!"
"Thanks! And I fixed that mistake," Nia said.
"YEAH!" Nat said as she jumped on the stage. After giving hugs to Elphaba and Nessa, she walked over to Morrible and poked her in the ribs.
"Yup, defiantly real!" she concluded as Nia handed her the hand sanitizer.
"I like the energy smoothies. They keep me awake with Rainy," Elphaba said, looking at her daughter.
"Horrors," Rainy whispered.
"Shh!" Elphaba cooed, giving Rainy her stuffed dog.
"Anything with fruit," Nessa said.
"I'm guessing that goes for everyone?" Nia guessed.
Everyone nodded.
"Good!" Nia smiled.
"Thank you!" Nessa smiled, glad to have another supporter.
"It was random!" Fiyero said.
"Sorry," Nia muttered.
"Thanks!" Elphaba smiled.
"Horrors!" Rainy shouted.
"Why does she keep saying 'horrors'?" Fiyero asked.
"She's just like her mother," Melena smiled.
"In more ways than one," Nia muttered.
"What was that?" Elphaba asked, staring at Nia.
"Nothing," Nia said quickly.
"Wait!" Boq remembered. "We still have to do the scene!"
Everyone groaned, thinking that they were done for the night.
"Boq's right. I promised that we would do the scene at the end of the episode," Nia said, looking for her paper with the scenes on them. "Which one should we do?"
"Let's do the catfight!" Dorothy exclaimed.
"Okay. What should we fight over?" Elphaba asked.
"Fiyero!" Nia chirped.
That comment earned her weird, twisted looks from everyone.
"Who?" Elphaba asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Me?" Fiyero said, pointing to himself.
"You," Nia clarified.
"He's mine!" Elphaba hissed.
"I never said that he wasn't," Nia defended herself.
Elphaba growled as she took a step closer to Nia. Nia gulped, wondering what the emerald witch was going to do to her.
"Now wait just a clock-tick," Elphaba said.
"Déjà vu!" Glinda muttered.
"I know it may be difficult for that blissful, blonde brain of yours –"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! What? I'm not blonde! Glinda's the blonde!" Nia shouted, pointing at Glinda.
"To comprehend that someone like him could actually choose someone like me!"
"WHAT?" Glinda interrupted.
"He doesn't love you!"
"I'm a teenage girl!" Nia argued.
"Let's not get testy here girls!" Boq interrupted.
"What are you doing?" Elphaba hissed.
"I'm trying to help."
"Well, if Nia can't have Fiyero, she can have… Bick!" Glinda smiled.
Nia, Elphaba, Boq, Fiyero, and Nessa all stared at her. "WHAT?" they all asked at the same time.
"Nia can be Bick's girlfriend!" Glinda reiterated.
"That's so creepy on so many different levels, Glinda," Nia said, shaking her head.
"Boq's mine!" Nessa shouted at Nia.
"Why is everyone yelling at me? I didn't even say anything!" Nia huffed.
"I don't love you!" Boq yelled at Nessa.
Nessa didn't hesitate in slapping Boq across the face. Melena quickly jumped out of her seat and ran to her daughter.
"Nessa," Melena said sternly, but calmly. "It is not nice to hit people."
Boq was crying is eyes out on the ground.
"Um, I hate to interrupt, but can I please take off these tight, white pants now?" Frex asked.
Everyone slowly turned their heads to look at him. Frex slowly slid out of his chair, cowering in fear under the gazes of everyone else.
"Fine!" Nia said, snapping her fingers. Frex's pants were replaced with more comfortable brown pants.
"Thanks," Frex whispered, signaling for everyone to continue with their cat fight.
"I'm tired!" Glinda complained, walking back to her seat.
"Me too!" Elphaba agreed.
"Me three!" Nia said.
Boq was still crying on the floor.
"Boq, get up!" Nessa sighed. "I didn't even hit you! It was a stage slap!"
"Oh," Boq said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I knew that. I was just playing along."
"Sure you were," Dorothy giggled.
"Wait! You need to do that cat fight!" Chistery pointed out.
"Chistery," Elphaba said. "That was the cat fight."
"It was?"
Elphaba nodded.
"Oh... well then... never mind!"
"Well, that's all the time we have for today, everyone! Keep reading and reviewing! See you at the next one!" Nia smiled, ending the episode.
"Horrors," Rainy whispered.
Special thanks to TheWickedrae, FiyerabaRules, Elphaba'sGirl, woodland59, artsoccer, hopeforthefandoms, WickedBrony, and Nat (Guest)
Songs used:
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