This is a rather short chapter as it will be leading to the time skip, so the next chapter will be longer to make up for it.

Things hadn't gotten better between Shunsui and Ukitake; it anything, they had gotten worse, especially due to the fact that neither of them wanted to give up their friendship. For Shunsui, he felt filthy for having even considered touching his friend which lead to him increasing the amount of sex he had, and to Jyuushiro, it left nothing but the pain that consumed him daily, making him want to end his life, feeling unwanted, dirty even.

"Shunsui, for the last time...!" Yamamoto was about ready to set Ryujin Jakka on Shunsui, fed up with the brunet acting as if the younger boy was a leper. Despite the brave face Jyuushiro donned most of the time, he knew it was hurting Ukitake more than anything else ever would.

Jyuushiro's head was bowed where he stood tensely, trying to pretend that his best friend refusing to even go near him during training was not painful. In truth, he didn't want to live without Shunsui, and if the older boy were acting like this, what was the point of living? He was ill, leaving him with a life he would never be able to live to the fullest – so why even bother trying if he couldn't share it with the one he loves? "...It's alright, Genryusai-sensei..."

Yamamoto felt bad for Jyuushiro – he really did. It had already been six months since whatever had happened between them... happened. Jyuushiro had sought him out on a number of occasions and, though he had never said exactly what had caused the rift, he had sobbed about how it was all his fault and that he was so stupid.

It wasn't that Yamamoto didn't care – but he more often than not sent Jyuushiro out of the room, telling him to get over what had happened and move on. He didn't have the emotions necessary to deal with his two students' issues.

"That's enough for the day," Yamamoto said, knowing that this training exercise was going nowhere. "We'll continue again tomorrow tonight, but for now get some rest."

Shunsui nodded, turning to face his friend. He waited until Jyuushiro was close to him before he started walking, feeling uncomfortable so close to the much smaller male.

Jyuushiro was quiet until they returned back to their dorm room. He immediately climbed onto his bed and curled up in the blankets, feigning sleepiness. He tried so hard to shrug off the unclean, unwanted feelings Shunsui's rejection had inflicted upon him, but it was just too hard.

Shunsui just stared for a few seconds before he sighed and spoke. "Jyuu, I'm gonna be gone tonight; I have a date."

"...Oh... Okay..." Jyuushiro knew he shouldn't be upset; Shunsui had been dating long before they attempted to experiment together. Well... by dating, Jyuushiro meant a one-night stand in order to have sex.

Shunsui nodded, not knowing what else needed to be said. He turned back around and put his hand on the doorknob. "...Well... See you tomorrow..."

Jyuushiro fought back his tears once again and got out of the bed once he heard the door click shut behind his love. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help but follow the older male. He had started following Shunsui whenever the other left to have sex, needing to hear the brunet's pleasured voice again and again. He didn't know what had driven him to this, but it was the only thing that stopped him wanting to die. It made him feel safe, like he had something to continue living for, even if it were just to see Shunsui smile.

The frail boy stalked the brunet through the Academy corridors, keeping just out of sight of the taller male as he did so. He waited until Shunsui stopped outside of a dorm room, watching with a heavy heart as the door was opened and one of the female students immediately pulled Kyōraku into a deep kiss.

Jyuushiro did his best to keep his tears inside as he witnessed the older male disappearing into the room, knowing what was going to be happening. Relieved that this particular room was on the ground level, Jyuushiro crept out of the Academy building and made his way to where he knew the window to that particular dorm room was situated.

Ukitake sat outside, hidden by one of the large bushes, fighting back moans as he pleasured himself to the scene of Kyōraku making love to one of the girls he knew got around. He couldn't help but imagine himself in the female's position, being the one Shunsui held with such tender care, but he knew it would never happen again. He knew that his best friend was straight and would never touch him in such a way again, and all he could do was hold onto the memory he had of their time together.

Jyuushiro released seconds after his best friend seemed to have, but all he could do was ignore the fluid spurting everywhere and curl up on the green grass, letting his tears flow as the pain overwhelmed him. Was this what he had been reduced to? A voyeuristic pervert who needed to pretend the one he loved most was being intimate with him just to feel better? Maybe it washed away his problems while he was masturbating to Shunsui's act, but when it was all over, those feelings came back.

Dirty. Unwanted. Unloved.