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This chapter was HARD. I hope you enjoy it and please review.

I speak German too so I had a go a translating it but don't like how the first chapter came out so I'm going to stick with English.

Check out my other story as well please :)

Disclaimer: Last Sunday I saw my ice hockey team win the play-offs not preparing for the last week of filming season 6.

Chapter 5: Future

Previously…

"Here's your wine." He said. "Are they all asleep?"

"Thanks, yes all sound asleep and safe."

"Vic, love" He gently spoke searching for his wife's eyes "We've got to talk."

The 'hard as nails' Captain was a different person at home; a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a daughter. She was never 'Sir' or 'Captain' here but Vic, Mum, Grandma and Victoria. The name 'Iron Gates' is left at the gate as she enters their home at night and is put on when she leaves for work in the morning. So, tonight with her husband there she can finally let all her emotions from the day out.

"I want the full story, not the sugar coated one that you gave the others because I know you and you aren't fine. You're sat here and you can barely keep your hand still, it's shaking." He took her wine glass from her hand and placed it on the coffee table in front of them.

"You're right, I'm not fine. The man who…, who was there today, I thought he was gone or at least I would never have to see him again." She moved herself so that her legs were tucked under and she was able to face her husband on the couch; determined to look at him as she recounted the whole case. "I need you to listen and let me get it all out, please?" He gave her a look that told her that he understood and knew why she didn't want to be interrupted.

"I couldn't tell you about the case at the time because it was all hush hush, the case didn't exist if anyone who wasn't on the inside asked. It was when I was at IA, and we were looking into cops who had been dirty for a long time. It started with one of them who was undercover in a gang that operated out in the boroughs. At first he was great, helped us bag some of the lower level guys. Then he got promoted in the gang, contact decreased and the evidence wasn't as forthcoming like before, so we sent another officer in. They didn't know each other which was important. When someone goes undercover and then recedes like that it there's usually only one explanation; he's dirty too.

"He clearly liked his new lifestyle, no wonder because his car was no longer a banged up old Ford that he'd be scratching around to keep up on the maintenance bills, it was a shiny new BMW. He thought he had kept that hidden; the Ford still on his driveway but the BMW was at his new apartment right down the street from the gang's unofficial headquarters. His clothes went up market, still fitting in with the gang style but he had designer gear in there too.

"So, this other cop that went in, it was a woman this time. She was twenty-seven, just made detective and eager to prove herself. She got a job at the bar that was the gang's headquarters, she fit in perfectly with the gang as she grew up in the same area, knew some of them back in the day but they could only recognise her not name her. She got even better intel, knowing the books and the insider dealings that went on in the business helped us to get the bar's owner on side. He never knew how we got him. Unlike her predecessor she didn't get taken in by the gang, they trusted her.

"We wanted to get our guy, didn't need any more criminals on the street especially one that had been our own. He was still feeding us the occasional info but we knew none of it was true, so we told him that we needed more to make it stick. The woman was checking it out for us and when she came back with her first find, low and behold everything that he had told us since the day that shiny new BMW appeared outside his apartment was false. He probably knew the information wouldn't stick either and tried to make us think that he was getting somewhere when all he was trying to do was string us along. We couldn't prove that he had lied or done anything that was prosecutable.

"Then one day just as we thought that we were going to have to give up on the whole operation our second informant told us something that would make the case against him. She told us that he had been told that he would have to complete another 'assignment' to make him a fully-fledged member of the gang. At this point she didn't know what it was but that day was her contact day.

"Technology wasn't like it is now, wires were hard to hide especially in this case. Being a woman and working in the bar meant short skirts, low cut tops but I don't need to go into further detail. She came to me and told me that she would wear one because she knew that his was the big break that the case needed. I knew how dangerous it could be, these weren't guys you messed with. If they didn't have a gun down the back of their trousers there would be one inside the jacket.

"I tried to discourage her; we became quite close during this. The only two women in the operation, yes I was the leading investigator and she was one of the lower officers on board, but there was a bond. She had so much to look forward to in her life, a year before I first met her she had married her high school sweet heart. They were a beautiful couple, she carried a copy of her favourite wedding picture around with her everywhere. She told me that she wanted a family, they both wanted kids and that she looked up to me. I asked why and she told me just to look around my office because there were enough clues. When she left I did, I looked at our wedding picture, the picture of our kids and my certificates.

"Somehow she convinced me and other senior officers involved in the investigation that she could do this and we let her. Two days later we found out what the assignment was. We found her body, she had been shot twice in the head and the wire was next to her and with a note that told us what his assignment was 'kill the mole'.

"I had to tell her husband that she had died. I tried to discourage him from knowing how but he was insistent and when he digested it he went mad, he screamed at me saying that it was all my fault and as head of the team I was responsible for her death and should pay. He was right, it was my fault and I should have stopped her. He threw folders off the desk, kicked and threw the chairs. One of my colleagues restrained him because he was becoming too violent. He cried for hours, when it was the funeral he cried all the way through that. Then he lost his way, turned to crime nothing too serious but it got him in. I saw his name come across my desk once in a misplaced file, I wanted to go to him and scream at him telling him how disappointed in him she would be but I couldn't. He did end up in jail and I thought that might change him but when he came out it got worse.

"I didn't hear about him again until today. I knew the second I heard his voice that something big was going to happen. He had his gun and was waving it about and shooting as if he was at a shooting range. Then when he saw me there was this big confrontation and it was like being back in the room when I first told him she had died but this time he had a gun. When he had his arm around my neck I honestly thought that this was it. I'd survived those days out on patrol, those days when I was a detective, only to die today when I was near the top and mostly supervising cases. I wasn't ready for it to be over, we've got a life together and a lovely family. We always said that when we had done with our careers we would retire with our family doing the Grandma Vic and Granddad Dave day care thing and I thought I was never going to have that with you."

"Well then Vic, I think we both know what we both should do."

She knew what he meant but this was a big decision that would affect so many but right now she needed a good night's sleep and to share a warm bed with her husband.

Yep, another cliff-hanger. You'll find out in the next chapter what the decision was.

Beckett will be back next chapter.

I wrote this straight in one go and I'm quite proud of it. None of the chapters have been like this, lots of dialogue, so I'd really like to know if you think it was a good explanation (realistic).

Thanks to BurningxRedxCaskett for checking this :)

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