Chapter 3 The fun.
After Peter finally woke up enough to stand up, rubbing his sore face curiously as they grinned evilly at him. They did wonder how long it would take him to finally awaken and had taken bets on it. George had won with eight minutes.
"So Peter, ready to go, you need to change or wear diapers man," James said pointing down at him. Peter looked horrified as he looked down at his pants, which were soaking wet.
"Ah man, don't let anyone know please," Peter begged them. They all shared a look with each other saying nothing while Peter looked worried. Everyone started to head for the door, they left the bar laughing with Peter bringing up the rear asking again if they would keep their silence.
"Come on Peter, we're all friends we won't tell anyone," Remus reassured him. They never mention the pictures they had taken.
Peter looked very relieved even though they were all smirking. A few passersby's were looking at him oddly but he never noticed them.
"Ooh look; a target," Sirius said he pulled an egg from the bag. Fred and George looked around for a target. A younger Mundungus strolled by looking shiftily around the street.
Sirius sent an egg toward him to tap him on the back, Mundungus screeched loudly before he ran quickly down the street the egg tapping him on the back several more times before it splattered on him oozing down his dirty cloak.
The six boys roared with laughter.
Sirius aimed his wand at him while saying softly, "Accio stolen items,"
They watched as a large moneybag and a pearl necklace came soaring toward him.
James being very fast grabbed the necklace as it reached them.
"Hey cool, this will go over great with Lily," James pockets the necklace.
"Hey I called it to me, what if I want to give it to Rosy?" Sirius told him with a pouty sounding voice. James laughed.
"No way, you got the last piece of jewelry for her and you have the money bag," James pointed out. Sirius slipped it into an inside pocket of his robes.
"Yeah that's true," he shrugged not worried about it.
"I get the next piece, of jewelry, or the money bag I'm not picky which one," Remus told them warningly. Fred and George looked stunned before roaring with laughter, the four boys looking at them with arched eyebrows. It only took a moment before they fell into more laughter, with several more shoppers giving them a wide range as they went about shopping.
"Come lets go before he finds courage and comes back this way, he'll know it was us."
The six boys walked off as Fred and George looked quite impressed with them, all of them still laughing and talking.
After the laughter had died down, the six boys; walking on Fred asked, "Why isn't Mundungus in school?"
"That idiot was too stupid to stay at school, his parents try to home teach him but it's a waste of magic on their part. All he wants to do is have fun, stealing things." James told them with a shrug of his shoulders.
"We at least try to help him learn to be honest by taking the stolen stuff back from him but it never seems to work, for him." Sirius told them sounding very serious about it. They roared with laughter.
Fred and George once again looked stunned before joining in on the laughter. They'd have never guess from the future Sirius and Remus that they were happy to steal from Mundungus.
"Want some sweets?" Sirius asked with an impish look on his handsome face while they walked along.
"Uh sure, at Honeydukes," George asked heading toward the sweet shop.
"Not quite," Sirius said with a wink at the other two boys. The three raised their wands saying as one, Accio chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts Every flavor beans, Acid Pops and Cockroach clusters, chocaballs and many other sweets. The candies all came, sailing through the air to them. The boys all grabbed them up in their arms
"Run now," Sirius roared with a barking laughter.
They sprinted off with George and Fred hurrying after them to madam Puddinfoot's little shop where it was made up in bright purple and orange colors, it was quite startling on the eyes.
They ran inside with a laugh going into the back of the shop where madam Puddinfoot shouted at them.
"Stop coming in here your giving my place a bad name," madam Puddinfoot tried to make her way over to them, as they ducked through a back door amid screeches and shouts from the other patrons. While running through the tea shop Remus, James and Sirius Accio, the guests gold, silver and Knuts from them so they wouldn't be able to pay. They pocket it while running fast to the back of the shop.
"Like that would happen," Remus chuckled.
"That color scheme will give her a bad name," James laughed. He bent over to yank hard on the wooden handle in the floor.
Fred and George were surprised to see it. James pulled up a trap door running down into it with the twins following quickly.
Peter waiting for them to hurry by before pulling the trap door down so that it would not be seen by madam Puddinfoot who still thought they were going out her back door, never noticing the wooden handle in the floor of her shop that blended in with the floor which was easily missed unless you knew what you were looking for. Had she known when she bought the store she may have changed her mind about it.
The six boys walked down the dark earthen tunnel talking excitably as they ate the candy they had stolen from Honeydukes. Fred and George had never realized that they were not above stealing but didn't care they liked these four trouble makers.
"So what are they eggs for?" Fred asked Sirius who had made Peter carry the bag.
"You'll see," Sirius grinned at him.
Fred and George were quite eager to find out what they were up too. They knew they were in the company of master troublemakers.
Once in the school, which they were pleased to see came out behind an old wizard tapestry they had not known about. The six boys walked down the halls talking softly as they looked around different corners.
James finally took the map out tapping it again, with his wand.
The map once again greeted him like an old friend.
Fred and George were very impressed, they asked about it. "Why does it talk like that, that is wicked."
"Well we charmed it to talk to us like that. Others who want to break rules it'll help them but won't get personal with them, although if someone tries to force information out of it, they'll be insulted."
"Cool I wish we had known that sooner," George told them.
"Ok let's see who we can…. Torment oh wait I mean… entertain…" Sirius laughed while he looked at the map.
"Oh look there's Snivellus, but he's still with Lily damn him." James glared at Snape's dot walking with Lily down the halls.
"Oh yeah look who is here," Remus pointed out a dot with Gilderoy Lockhart name next to it.
"No way, Lockhart is here," Fred Exclaimed surprised.
"Yeah the little doofus is a year under us but is such a puffed up git we love to hex him at any chance,"
"Someone needs too, he's not talented enough to be big headed," Remus agreed.
"Don't blame ya there, we got stuck with him as a teacher four years ago that idiot read passages from his books that were all made up of lies." Fred told them.
The Marauders looked at them with wide eyes, "that stupid git wrote books and became a teacher?" Sirius said nauseated.
"My poor son had to endure that for a teacher?" James said revolted. A few fellow students went by looking at him in shock.
"Good one Prongs, nothing like spreading a few rumors," Remus laughed watching the others scurry away with scandalous looks behind them chatting eagerly.
James laughed, "As long as they think Evans is the mom, I'm good with it,"
"You would, but since you two," Sirius pointed at Fred and George, "have gotten stuck with that for a teacher, let us get some revenge for you,"
"Sounds like a plan," Fred laughed heartily. They all hurried off down the hall toward Lockhart's dot on the map.
"There the pompous fool now," They were peeking around the corner where a young Lockhart was talking to a couple of girls, looking very proud of himself. Fred and George were revolted to see he still seem to talk and smile brightly at the same time.
"Ok give me a couple of eggs," James held out his hand. Peter placed the two eggs in his hands gently running his fingers over his palms, James never noticed.
James used his wand over the eggs, they disappeared from his hands. He was smirking watching Lockhart who looked startled for a moment. The two girls laughed and pointed at his chest.
"What is this?" Lockhart said curiously as he patted the two eggs which appeared under his shirt over his nipples on the larger round end of the egg so that they poked out even more.
Lockhart patted them hard they both broke inside his clothes, the girls burst into raucous laughter as two wet spots appeared on his shirts.
"Good one now my turn," Sirius took a couple of eggs from Peter he waved his wand so that the two eggs disappeared to reappear in Lockhart's pants sticking out from the front next to each other so it appeared he had two small penises.
The two girls laughed harder as they saw this happening. Lockhart grabbed him self-breaking the two other eggs they oozed down his legs leaving another wet spot.
"Now I get to have fun," Remus held out his hand. Peter placed two more eggs in his hand; he too waved the eggs away as they fell from between his legs to splattered all over his legs while Lockhart gave a sudden squawk in surprise. The girls pointed to the eggs on the ground oozing around his feet before they quickly ran off laughing very hard.
The six boys had to hold their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing hard out loud and heard by Lockhart who was looking horrified.
"You boys are not letting these…. Boys influence you badly are you?" Lily asked coolly from behind them.
The six boys looked around at her voice to see her standing there with Snape.
"No of course not, they are helping us, honest." Fred laughed leaning up against the wall to keep from falling over.
"I'm sure, come Sev," Lily and Snape walked off with Snape giving a nasty smirk to James who glared back at him bringing his wand out to point at Snape.
Fred and George mouth "Sev" to each other with wide eyes.
"Don't do it Potter," Lily said loudly never looking back as they walked around the corner to see Lockhart covered in eggs.
James looked around at the others, "How does she do that?" they all shrugged their shoulders just as baffled as he was.
"Problems Lockhart," Lily asked looking at him dripping with eggs on the inside of his clothes. A small smirk played with her ruby lips.
"Aaah no of course not this is a new formula I have invented to give the people an… extra sparkle and shine to their skin… and…. clothes," he tried to smile reassuringly at her.
"I see," Lily smirked, amused. Snape laughed hard.
"I would say you need to work on the applications for it, it's rather messy," Snape slipped his arm around Lily they resumed their walk down the hall.
"That Slimy git he's got his arm around her again," James growled holding his hand out to Peter who put two eggs into his hands. Peter looked less than pleased by James jealousy.
James waved his wand the eggs disappeared to appear above Snape's head where they cracked open dropping the raw eggs on his head.
"I wonder how he likes that egg shampoo," James grumbled. He held out his hand again for more eggs.
Fred and George were smirking pleased while they watched James send the other two eggs while Lily was waving her wand cleaning Snape up. Lily looked back at the corner where the six boys where hiding. Snape looked over himself bringing out his wand.
"No Sev, let's go, I don't want you in detention, that would cut into other time," Lily gave him a knowing look.
He pockets his wand placing his arm around Lily's waist walking away with her; he leaned down whispering into her ear.
At this the other two eggs dropped unopened on his head. Snape turned around sending a hex at James who suddenly had bat ears. James immediately sent his own back at Snape who grew a large amount of hair over his eyes while Lily screamed at them both.
"STOP IT RIGHT NOW," Lily threw up a protective shield so that both boys were unable to throw anymore hexes at each other it had also been so strong it knocked them both off their feet.
"If you boys don't stop it I'll hex all of you to kiss each other, with tongues," Lily screamed at them vehemently.
Six boys looked horrified one looked positively delighted with the idea; they missed that look as George whispered to Fred.
"Remind me to never cross her,"
Fred nodded in concurrence; he looked at her with admiration wishing he was born at this time instead of after she was out of school, married and dead.
"Wow what a woman, she is so… cool," Fred whispered to George. He smirked at his brother he knew his twin loved strong fiery woman.
"She's old enough to be your mom; behave,"
"So I like them older now," Fred grinned back at him.
"Yeah well get over it we can't change the time line," George reminded him.
"Damn time," Fred muttered.
James meanwhile came from around the corner smiling cutely for her,
"Ah come on Evans you know I'd have to hex you to kiss me instead," James winked at her. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You can try but it won't work, no matter what you do; I can resist you," Lily smirked at him. She always enjoyed these flirtatious games with James, not that she's tell him.
"I'd be glad to try that myself," Fred told her as he walked around the corner followed by George, Sirius, Remus and Peter. They all had to agree with James and Fred. Except for Peter was agreeable for another reason. Several students were now heading in different directions away from the more formidable Marauders, Snape and the unknown twins. They knew Lily could control those boys and left her to it.
Snape glared at them all with narrow eyes of black fire.
Lily looked at Fred in surprise.
"Oh really, well it seems you boys will just have to settle for dreams of me, you don't get the real thing," Lily chuckled when she looked behind them.
"Hello Professor Slughorn, you're not going to try to talk me into your little get together again; are you?"
"Always Lily, the party just isn't as fun without you there, just ask Severus, here." Slughorn walked into the barrier bouncing off with a surprised "oh,"
Lily giggled, "Sorry Professor, let me remove that for you," Lily waved her wand so that the barrier was removed.
Slughorn seemed quite pleased though as he looked at her with admiration.
"Always a talented lady, so why not show off for my Slug club, you'll enjoy it," Slughorn grinned, "I'll even have elf wine for you to try if you say you'll come,"
Lily laughed as she looked at Snape; he was nodding his head eagerly.
"Ok profess…" Lily stopped talking when Fred started to whisper urgently in her ear.
Lily looked at him in surprise a small smile spreading across her lips.
"Sure thing if you want," Lily told Fred who grinned ear to ear nodding his head.
"Ok professor, I'll come—"
Slughorn made a sound of happiness, as Lily held up her hand.
"—as long as I can bring a couple of friends with me,"
Slughorn beamed at her, "Lily my dear if you come to my party you can bring all the friends you wants to bring,"
"Thank you Professor, I'll see you there, let's go Sev, we need to… finish our homework," Lily winked at Snape who gave her a look that spoke of other things that had nothing to do with homework.
Slughorn walked off very pleased in the other direction while Fred and George stood in the hall with the Marauders. They were all watching Lily and Severus walking away talking happily.
"What home work could they be doing?" James asked curiously he looked at Sirius who shrugged his shoulders.
George, Fred and Remus all shared a look that said anatomy was all they could think of.
"Umm so do you think you can get Lily to take us too to that party?" Remus asked hoping to distract the others.
"Oh yeah I'd enjoy going to it," James said with a big grin on his handsome face.
At this time they heard a very irate voice coming toward them. They turned to look and see a short squat girl with mousy brown hair huffing in anger as she stormed toward them.
The moment she spotted the six boys in the hall, her demeanor changed freakishly quick as she smiled widely at them. The six boys all felt as though they were now a fat juicy fly she had just spotted.
"Hello, Sirius, James, Remus…hem, hem how are you three boys," Delores grinned at them her small pointed teeth showing, causing all the boys to take an involuntary step back away from her, she did not notice this.
"Hem, hem, who are these…. Two?" Umbridge asked in her high pitch girl voice. She realized she did not know the two new boys with them. She was happily appraising them as possible dates.
"Your worst nightmare, trust me!" Fred grinned evilly at her. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"I'm quite sure you are," Umbridge pointedly turn from the two twins who gave her shivers for reasons she did not know. She decided she would not give them the privilege of dating her.
"Sirius darling, you'll help me won't you?" Delores asked in her most honey tone voice with her horrible girlish giggle.
Fred and George made very loud gagging noises not trying to hide this fact from her.
Umbridge glared at them both, before looking back up sappy eyes at Sirius who was laughing at Fred and George.
"Hell no, I'd never help you," Sirius told her as a few others girls walked by.
"Those girls on the other hand," Sirius walked over to them slipping his arms around their waist, "Ladies, need some help…. With anything?" Sirius grinned at the two Hufflepuff girls they giggled, happily. Fred and George were impressed as the two girls snuggled up to him walking off.
Umbridge glared at his retreating form with the two girls from Hufflepuff.
The other five boys made to leave when Umbridge stopped them.
"James, how about you helping me… pleeeeease…"
"Nope, I gotta find Evans," James walked around her as she spoke up in a harsh angry voice.
"That Mudblood is forcing MY Severus to help her as if she needs it, the tramp,"
"You ought not to have said that, toad face," James put his hand out glaring at the shorter girl. Peter eagerly placed several eggs in his hands. James waved his wand the eggs all zoomed over to her smacking her all over her head oozing down her face, her front, back and sides, while James waved his wand again and a flock of yellow canaries appeared from nowhere. James pointed a finger at Umbridge the birds attacked clawing and pecking at her face. James waved his wand again so that a dark fog appeared around her causing her to cough and choke the smell of castor oil and skunk was very strong.
"Never ever call Evans names again," James stormed away with Fred and George looking greatly impressed.
"Hey Peter an egg here," Fred asked grinning feeling ready to do more damage. Peter gave him an egg; Remus waved his wand refilling the bag with eggs.
Fred waved his wand sending the egg over to Umbridge smacking her directly in the face as she screeched; another egg joined it from George.
"That was fun,"
"Let's go to the common room, we can use these on Filch later," Remus said they walked on down the hall, no one seemed to notice that Lockhart was still standing in the same place a look of pure bliss on his face. Others going by wondered what was wrong with him and had he been hexed.
"Why not now," Fred asked, wanting to go egg Filch.
"Sirius will want to help with it,"
Fred and George nodded in understanding they headed for the common room.