Journal,

After I met with Kayla on Sunday, I felt worse than ever. All week long I've been thinking about her, worrying about her and just wanting to talk to her. I listened to Kayla's advice and waited but I don't think I can wait any longer. I just have to make sure she is ok and that she knows I'm here for her. My plan is to go to her house as soon as I get out of school so hopefully her mom won't be there. I've driven past her house multiple times this week, trying to figure out which parent she lives with and what kind of hours they work. That's a little stalkerish I think, but I don't really care. I'm feeling very desperate and maybe a bit manic.

End Journal.

Xx

The target is in sight, I think. Her house is, anyways. Her car is parked out front and it's the only car in the driveway. Deductive reasoning leads me to believe that Spencer Carlin is in that house. Now, I just have to figure out a way in.

I scan the second story looking for a tree or something that I could climb, then I could crawl in a window or something if it was unlocked. I get out of my car and sneak around to the back yard. There's a couple bushes that I use for cover, just to be safe.

Well, I didn't expect this. There's a huge wooden privacy fence. Its too tall for me to climb. But that's okay. I'm determined to breach the entrance.

Suddenly, I get a great idea. I'll just knock on the door. Yeah, that's what I was totally thinking all along. I was just planning an escape route if things get hairy.

I swallow my pride, a bit upset that my secret agent plan didn't work out.. I knew I should've brought a ladder.

Time to knock on the door.

I head up to the porch and prepare to knock, when the door opens magically. Like it knew I was coming for it. I told you, I might be getting manic if not delusional.

Spencer is in the doorway staring at me.

God, it's been two weeks since I've seen her and now that she's right in front of me it hits me hard on how much I've actually missed her. Without thinking, I run up to her and wrap her in my arms.

It feels so good to see her and feel her body against mine. The sensation is amazing; I can't stop from craving more of her.

Reluctantly, I pull away and look at her. At a glance, she seems completely fine. But now I take a really good look at her and see signs of her hardship. She's pale and her eyes are bloodshot with bags under them, like she hasn't been getting much sleep. It's heartbreaking but she is still absolutely beautiful.

She gives me a small smile and leads me upstairs.

I'm totally fine with going to the bedroom but I don't think she's thinking about doing what I'm thinking about doing.

I guess we should talk or something like that. Darn.

Aw, her room is cute. There's a couple music posters on the walls and a keyboard and mic in a corner. She sits on the bed and I follow suit.

"Are you okay?" I ask her first because that's all I really want to know.

She sighs and looks at her hands which are now in her lap, "I don't know if I am or not. Everything is just really confusing and hard right now. I'm sorry for ignoring you".

"I just don't understand why you can't talk to me to at least let me know you're alive and you didn't move to Africa or something. I've been really worried about you, Spencer".

"I'm sorry, I just needed time to think and try to figure this out."

"Figure out what? I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable when we kissed, but I really enjoyed it," I tell her honestly.

"This, Ashley. It's all new to me, I'm just not used to it…" she looks up at me and smiles a little bit before adding, "and I enjoyed it too".

I'm grinning and I'm sure I look like a creepy ass clown but I can't help it. She enjoyed it! That means she would probably like to do it again and that would be totally fine with me. Like we should just do it now and forget all this other nonsense, but I don't think it works that way.

Instead, I say, "Well, I'm here for you so please can you not shut me out? If you need space just tell me and I'll give it to you. Being ignored by you just sucks and it makes me sad," I follow up with a big pout and my best version of puppy dog eyes. Even though I'm being completely serious about what I said, I want to lighten the mood for her. I want to show her that this can be easy sometimes too.

"Aww, stop that," she lifts my face up and oh god I think she might kiss me again!

I can't help the intake of air as I close my eyes and prepare.

Boo. She just kissed my forehead. But! I'll take it.

"So can we make a deal? You don't ignore me anymore and I'll bring you breakfast in the mornings?" Who doesn't love breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day, after all.

She looks like this is a hard decision. Really? It's a no-brainer. Come on, Spencer.

"Only on one condition," she says. Of course. Conditions.

"Anything."

"You have to stop driving by my house ten times a day and sneaking around my yard. I thought you were a robber, until that awful attempt at a roll into cover. The neighbors probably think you're planning a heist, Ashley," she says with a humorous look on her face.

I can't believe she caught me! I thought for sure I stayed out of sight. Probably has cameras all around or something.

I decide to play it off nonchalantly.

"Yeah, sure. I can do that. And, I only drove past 2 or 3 times a day. But I'll let your neighbors rest easy from now on."