"Elphaba, this package came in the mail for you," Nia said, walking onstage, carrying a very large box in her hands.
"Really? Who's it from?" Elphaba asked as Nia set the box down in front of her.
"There's no return address or name," Nia observed.
Elphaba tore open the box and looked inside.
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Nia exclaimed, face palming and running back to her desk. Elphaba laughed as she pulled out a Wii, Xbox and a Play Station. "Who the heck would send her this?" Nia asked, slamming her head against her desk.
"I don't know, but thank you, whoever you are!" Elphaba called, admiring her new electronics.
"When I find out who gave her those, I swear I will –" Nia muttered.
"Shouldn't we start the interview now?" Glinda said. She didn't want there to be another catfight. Catfights were her thing. No one else's.
"You're right, Glinda. Our first review comes from Elphaba'sGirl, who says AWESOME IDINA AND WALKER CAME! That was super cool. And Rainy, you are the cutest child ever. Okay, everyone! Question time! Boq, if when you were a tin man you were forced to also wear Nessa's jeweled shoes what would you do? Idk why I asked that. Elphaba; I dare you to turn Morrible into a baby. Fiyero; have you ever stolen a pen? If so, when was it, what did you write with it, and did you return it? If the answer to the last question was yes, was it because Elphaba told you to? If the answer to that was no, now she does know and will probably make you return it. All; who is your idol? Elphaba; so you clearly haven't had the best luck with parents in the past. If you could pick two people to be your parents, who would you choose? All; on a scale of 1-10 rate Nia and her reviewers as interviewers. Glinda; what is your favorite time? (I.e. 1:13, 6:22, 8:11...)."
"Um… they looked kinda girly," Boq said, looking down at Nessa's shoes.
"So… no?" Nia asked. Boq nodded his head. "Yes?"
"No," Boq answered.
Elphaba snapped her fingers and Morrible was poofed into a baby of about nine months.
"WAHHH!" Baby Morrible cried.
"She can stay like that until she gets a question," Nia giggled.
"Well, I've only stolen a pen once," Fiyero said. Everyone turned towards him, wanting to hear this story.
"Oh?" Elphaba asked, raising an eyebrow. "And when was this?"
"Well, I wouldn't exactly say stole. It was more of… borrowed. When I wrote that note to you in Shiz."
"You mean that love note you were trying to pass to me during Dr. Dillamond's lecture?" Elphaba asked.
Fiyero nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, that one."
"AWW!" Nia said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Fiyeraba."
"What?" Elphaba and Fiyero asked, turning towards Nia.
"What's Fiyeraba?" Glinda asked.
"I'll let the reviewers tell you," Nia smiled, moving on.
"Idina Menzel," Elphaba smiled. "I loved it when she was here."
"Kristen Chenoweth," Glinda smiled.
"Norbert Leo Butz," Fiyero said.
"Is it safe to say the OBC of Wicked?" Nia asked, not in the mood to type out everyone's responses. Everyone nodded.
"Nia, who's yours?" Glinda asked.
Nia looked through her reviews. "Actually, she's coming later. A reviewer requested her."
"Who?" Nessa asked.
"You'll find out later," Nia smiled.
"I'm… I don't really know. Well, Glinda has sort of been motherly towards me at Shiz," Elphaba said, smiling at her best friend. "And Fiyero is very overprotective."
"Of Rainy," Fiyero argued.
"And Elphaba. I've seen what happens backstage in between episodes when you two –" Nia started.
"NIA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY OUR BUSINESS TO THE ENTIRE WORLD!" Elphaba shouted, blushing furiously.
"Sorry," Nia whispered. She looked at the next question. "You all better answer this correctly. Remember that I control this interview."
Elphaba thought very carefully. "Well at first, I was a little skeptical." She saw the grimace on Nia's face and immediately adjusted her answer. "But now, I'm loving it. So I would say a 10."
"8.3," Fiyero said.
"I can live with that," Nia nodded.
"9," Nessa smiled.
"7," Boq said.
Nia frowned, but decided not to turn Boq back into a tin man out of the goodness of her heart.
"7.5," the Wizard said.
"Better," Nia nodded.
"6," Frex muttered.
Nia scowled and clapped her hands so Morrible could answer.
"NEGATIVE TWENTY!" Morrible shouted as soon as she could talk.
"Uh oh," Glinda whispered, seeing the hurt mixed emotions flood Nia's face.
Nia snapped her fingers and Morrible fell through a trap door.
"Nia!" Nessa exclaimed. "She's just a baby!"
"She should have thought of that beforehand," Nia said, turning her back to everyone.
"Nia," Elphaba whispered, approaching the teenager. She placed an emerald hand on her shoulder and sighed. "Please?"
"Fine, but only for you," Nia said, snapping her fingers again. Morrible appeared, an adult again.
"Well, I never!" she spat at Nia.
"Don't make this worse for yourself," Nia said.
"I'll give you a 9," Oscar said, causing Nia to blush and smile.
"Thanks. Now, last question from this author for Glinda," Nia said.
"Um… favorite time? I like 7:00pm," Glinda said. "It's such a nice time."
"7:00pm thanks you," Nia giggled. "Now we welcome Broadwaylover56, who says, Loved this chapter. Nia, can you please put in the West Side Story characters and the Newsies into the story. Rainy is so cute... What's her favorite movie? I dare Frex and Morrible to go on a date and have it end badly. Dorothy while reading this story I've grown to like you. Can you be my friend? Actually can all of you besides Morrible Frex and the horrible wizard of Oz be my friend? It would mean the world to me. Also Dorothy do you know if Toto has any brothers or sisters up for adoption I want a cute little dog so badly. Thanks!"
"Um… gee, this is just like what happened with the Phantom of the Opera," Nia sighed. "Let me just say that I've only seen Wicked."
"So, we're not getting any guests?" Nessa asked glumly.
"We're getting guests later on. I think everyone will like this. I know I will," Nia said, shaking with excitement.
"We all saw Frozen in between episodes," Fiyero said. "Rainy loved it."
"Elsa!" Rainy smiled.
"I'm guessing that's her new favorite," Elphaba smiled.
"I don't want to go on a date with Morrible!" Frex frowned.
"Nor do I," Morrible agreed.
"And I don't want to have to start shipping Frexible. We'll see about that later," Nia said.
"Sure!" Dorothy smiled, glad that someone liked her.
"We would all love be your friends," Glinda smiled, doing her 'Glinda the Good' wave.
"He probably does. I'm not quite sure," Dorothy said, holding Toto in her lap.
"Woof!" Toto barked.
"Alright, now, we have a dare from MyVisionIsDying. Boq, you're gonna love this one," Nia giggled.
"What?" Boq gulped.
"Vision says, Ahem! Boq; I dare you to wear Glinda's Shiz uniform! Seeing as we've had an embarrassed Fiyero in her 'Popular' dress. I want to see your embarrassment for entertainment and don't think you'll go unnoticed in this Q & A. That is all!"
"NOOOOOO!" Boq cried as Glinda's Shiz uniform was poofed onto his small, Munchkin body.
"Wait!" Nia cried, handing him the white purse. "Now you're all Galinda-fied!"
"I hate this!" Boq cried.
"I love this," Glinda giggled.
"Okay, before I die of laughter, we have NellytheActress. Hello! Nelly says, Okay I have a few questions and maybe some dares so first; Nia, Glinda, and Elphaba, I wanna see you three sing 'Screw Loose' from Cry Baby (best song ever) and make the performance good. And darn it, you can't cancel my dare so we will try this again, Fiyero I dare you to hit Elphaba NO RETURN POLICY and I will keep daring the same thing until you do it. Oh, and can we take this Q & A under water just for one episode? Okay that's all for now!"
"Screw Loose?" Elphaba asked as three microphones appeared in center stage.
Nia nodded. She pulled Elphaba and Glinda up by their arms and dragged them to the mics. "Hit it, guys!" she said, waving at her sound boys, Mike and Andy.
Andy gave her a thumbs up and started the music.
"Screw loose. That's what they say I've got. Or maybe they say I'm not playing with a full deck," Nia sang.
"But hey, what the heck can I do-oo-oo? Baby, I've got a screw loose for you," Glinda sang, sounding exactly like Alli Mauzey.
"Bonkers. That's what they're calling me. Not metaphorically. They mean truly insane," Elphaba sang, giving Nia a weird look as she sang the lyrics.
"But they can't hear the voice in my brai-ai-ai-ain. Giving orders to keep loving you," Nia sang, completely ignoring Elphaba's look.
"Eccentric! Erratic! Toys in the belfry. Bats in the attic! But I just don't see the harm. In carving your name in my a-arm!" Glinda sang, falling to her knees.
"Okay, then," Nia said as the music temporarily stopped and resumed a few seconds later.
"Darling, it's so-o hard to be sixteen and schitzo. But I know it's worth the cost I made up my mind which I have lo-ost. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh," Elphaba sang. She looked over her shoulder and saw Fiyero smirking at her. She scowled at him as Nia sang the next part.
"Screw loose. Clinically certified. A panel of doctors try to lock me away. But until that day when they finally do-oo-," Nia sang.
""I know! Leave me alone! Gosh!" Glinda interrupted.
"I am here if you need a loo-oose screw," All three of them sang in unison.
The audience clapped and cheered as Nia, Elphaba and Glinda took their seats again.
"I guess we're gonna have to do the slap. Nelly will keep reviewing with that until we do," Nia said sadly.
"It's like you want to see me get blasted to bits! Because if you do, you'll be the one to sweep up my remains!" Fiyero said.
"I don't like this any more than you do," Nia said. She suddenly smiled at Fiyero. She ran over to him and whispered something into his ear.
"Uh huh… yep… okay," Fiyero smiled. He suddenly raised his hand and slapped Elphaba hard across the face.
Elphaba cupped her cheek with the back of her hand. The audience gasped, wondering what horrible and condescending thing Elphaba was going to turn Fiyero into. Instead, Elphaba just crackled.
"Feel better?" Elphaba asked.
"Yes, I do," Fiyero answered.
"Okay, we don't need another catfight," Nia interrupted. "And we can go underwater in the next episode. Just remind me to do it in a review. Now we have woodland59. Welcome back! She says, Oh! My fav princess Is Elsa! What's each of your fav Disney princesses? Oh, oh! I dare you all (Nia that includes you) to be turned into My Little Ponies for one episode! Heehe! And also Squee Idina! Ahhhhhh! -Faints and wakes up a minute later- I'm sorry where was I? Oh yes...I'll be looking forward to see what your cutie marks are... Ciao!"
"I do like Elsa," Elphaba admitted. "I see a lot of me in her. Especially when people start calling her Elsaba."
"I like Ariel," Fiyero said.
"Cinderella," Glinda said.
"Snow White," Nessa said.
"Mulan," Melena answered.
"Err… No comment," Frex said.
"Me too," Oscar said.
"I'm not answering! I'm still mad at you for turning me into a baby!" Morrible hissed.
"Fine by me," Nia retorted.
"I don't wanna be turned into a – pony," Elphaba said as she was turned into a unicorn.
Glinda and Nessa were also unicorns. Melena, Fiyero and Boq were pegasi. All the other characters were earth ponies. Nia was an alicorn.
"How come you're an alicorn?" Glinda asked.
"Because I'm the host," Nia said, looking at her flank. There was a drama mask on it. "Elphaba, what's yours?"
"A broom," Elphaba said.
"Mine's a wand," Glinda said, looking at her flank.
"I have an ax," Boq said.
"I have a hot air balloon," the Wizard said.
"I have a smiley face on mine. I wonder what that means," Nessa said.
"You like to make people smile," Nia said.
"Do I?" Nessa asked.
"I don't know. Do you? Why are you asking me?" Nia asked.
"I have white pants on mine," Fiyero said, followed by giggles from Glinda and Nessa.
"Mine's blank," Frex frowned.
"So is mine," Oscar said.
"And mine," Morrible said.
"Oh, well," Nia mumbled.
"How long do we have to stay like this?" Elphaba asked.
"We can change back right before our guests come. I like being an alicorn," Nia said, flapping her wings. "I think I'll stay up here for a while. Our next review comes from Peter1312. Hey, Peter! Welcome back to the show! Peter says, You know I love how that went soo well anyways. Questions:
Elphaba and Fiyero, do you plan of having any other kids?
Wizard, did you know that in the skydiving industry they tell you if your chute doesn't deploy come back and get a new one? (I'm serious, that's really what they say, if the chute doesn't deploy come back and get another)
And now for the dares... actually would you rather seems like a great choice:
Elphaba would you rather kiss Glinda or Morrible?
Glinda would you rather date Boq or date Morrible?
Frex, would you rather be kind to Elphaba or jump in a lake?
Morrible, would you rather be turned to a fish (not Fish) or crushed under a house?
Wizard, would you rather be subjected to pure violence here, or pure humiliation or something like that in my interview?
Boq, would you rather be Fiyero's butler for the rest of your life or remain tin and rusted through all eternity?
Fiyero, would you rather wear Elphaba's black clothing or Glinda's frilly pink garbage that she calls clothes (sorry Glin but I have sisters I'm tired of the color pink)?
Dorothy, would you rather be subjected to tickle torture, or um (dang I cant think of anything worse that would technically be legal to do with out bumping up the maturity rating) um or have Toto put down?
(Choose wisely Dorothy because I want to make sure that what ever you choose happens to you, meaning if you choose tickle torture you get tortured for an entire episode or until Nia decides to stop, if you choose the other one... well you get the prospect)
Anyways, I also have gifts:
For Glinda, a very big magenta tiara.
Elphaba and Fiyero all the baby stuff the would ever need.
Wizard, you get this party balloon I found in a tree by my house."
"Um… no. Not for a while," Elphaba said, lifting Rainy into her arms.
"I didn't know that," Oscar said.
"How was your skydiving experience?" Nia asked.
"They told me that just in time," Oscar said.
"Kiss…" Elphaba started.
"And Fiyero's not an option," Nia reminded her.
Elphaba gave Glinda an apologetic look before quickly kissing her on the cheek.
"That'll do," Nia said, looking at her notes.
"Boq," Glinda immediately said. Boq's face brightened.
"Well, it's not like the other choice was better," Nia mumbled.
"HEY!" Boq and Morrible shouted at the same time.
"What?" Nia said, still flying high above everyone. "Man, I am loving these wings!"
"I can be kind!" Frex protested.
"Well… just in case you can't, there's a lake down the block," Nia said.
"Neither!" Morrible answered.
"You have to choose one of them," Nia said, narrowing her eyes at the witch.
"Fine… fish."
Nia smiled. "Don't get any ideas!" Morrible shouted at her.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Nia smirked.
"Um…" Oscar mumbled.
"He's already been embarrassed here, so you can do what seems fit to you in your interview," Nia smiled.
"Well, a butler isn't as bad as being tin," Boq answered.
"Well, I'm not a big fan of pink," Fiyero said. Elphaba smiled, while Glinda scrunched up her nose and frowned. "So I would have to say the black dress. It's actually quite beautiful."
"Down where?" Dorothy asked.
"To sleep," Nia whispered.
"Like a nap?"
"… No…"
"Then what…?"
"Just say tickling!"
"Fine! Tickling!"
"And I need this place looking its best for our guests, so I can't tickle torture yet. But I'll keep it in mind for later," Nia said. "I'll give out the gifts now."
"Thanks!" Glinda, Elphaba, Fiyero and Oscar said as they received their gifts.
"This balloon looks deflated," Oscar commented.
"Don't complain!" Nia admonished. "Okay, now we have Wickedly Hope Panacake. Welcome to the show! Wickedly Hope Panacake says, You should SO totally make Elphaba and Glinda sing 'What is This Feeling' with Morrible and the Wizard! Do it! I dare you!"
"Great dare," Nia smiled as Elphaba, Glinda, Morrible and Oscar, who were still in their pony forms, stood up.
"What is this feeling so sudden and new?" Elphaba and Glinda sang.
"We felt the moment we laid eyes on you..." Oscar and Morrible sang back.
"Our pulses are rushing..."
"Our heads are reeling..."
"Our faces are flushing..."
"What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame. Does it have a name? Yes... Loathing. Unadulterated loathing..."
"For your faces..." Elphaba and Glinda sang.
"Your voices..."
"Your clothing..."
"Let's just say… we loathe it all! Ev'ry little trait however small, makes our very flesh begin to crawl. With simple utter loathing. There's a strange exhilaration. In such total detestation. It's so pure! So strong! Though we do admit it came on fast. Still we do believe that it can last and we will be loathing, loathing you our whole lives long!"
The audience cheered as Elphaba, Glinda, Oscar and Morrible took their bows and returned to their seats.
"Great job! And now… the moment we've all been waiting for," Nia smiled.
"What's that?" Glinda asked, trying to get her horn to work.
"Glinda, I have an idea!" Nia said, flying over to Glinda and whispering something in her ear.
"I thought we were going to change back before they got here?" Glinda asked.
"Oh, right," Nia said, using her horn to change everyone, including herself, back into their human forms.
"Aww," Fiyero whined.
"Sorry. Even though I loved being an alicorn, we don't want to frighten our guests.
"Who are they?" Elphaba asked.
"Remember in an earlier question you have to say your idols?" Nia asked. Everyone nodded. "Well… a reviewer requested that we bring in three very special people."
"Just tell us who they are!" Nessa said, growing impatient.
Nia smiled as she clapped her hands twice. There, center stage, appeared three people.
"AHH!" Nia screamed, fanning her hand with her face.
"Is she going to faint?" Melena asked.
"N-No. I'm good," Nia said, composing herself. "Everyone, please give it up for… Lindsay Mendez, Alli Mauzey, and Derek Klena!"
The audience went crazy.
"Um… what are we doing here?" Lindsay asked, looking around the studio.
"And who are you?" Alli asked, looking at Nia.
"I'm Nia and your presence has been requested to come on this interview and answer questions," Nia said as she clapped her hands. Three chairs appeared next to the couch where Elphaba, Glinda and Fiyero were sitting. "Alright, Lindsay gets the green chair. Alli gets the pink chair. Derek gets the blue chair."
"Is this one of these fan things?" Derek asked, sitting down in the blue chair.
"Exactly," Nia nodded. "Well, our last reviewer for this episode is I'mFlyingHighDefyingGravity. Welcome to the show! This review says, Hi Nia! I FINALLY caught up on this interview. I love it so much! You're amazing!
Okay. First off... Do Elphaba, Fiyero, Glinda etc know Lindsay, Derek and Alli? Even if they do, pretty please bring them on the show! Even though Derek wasn't my Fiyero, I still saw clips of him in Fly Girl and on YouTube elsewhere, and he's amazing. Lindsay and Alli are too. :) And thank you Nia for putting me in your At The Gershwin fanfiction! (I'm Sydney). If my high school next year doesn't have Wicked be the musical ever, I'm going to be so mad! I love the whole show. Elphaba, I love you SO much! You're so amazing and I'll never be able to watch the Wizard of Oz again. Well, knowing you went through the trapdoor helps a little. You have an amazing voice! And if you're still signing brooms, can I have one? Don't worry about it if you're not. I had questions but I'm forgetting them...
Oh! Do you guys know about air hockey? Other than Nia? Nia, please explain air hockey to them (everyone but Lindsay, Derek and Alli because they probably know what it is). Does anyone wanna play me? It's so fun! And my brother broke my winning streak of like 10 games, making me mad. Anyway...
Glinda, if you were to have a different skin color, what color would it be?
And Lindsay, Derek and Alli, first of all, I LOVE YOU! (In a non-creepy way. Promise) What character would you play in Wicked if you couldn't play your character?
Rainy, you're adorable, just saying that because it's true.
And here are some cupcakes I made for everyone. They're fine for Animals. It took fifteen tries, but it worked. Enjoy! Thanks for writing the interview, Nia! You're hilarious and I love it!"
"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Nia smiled, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She looked over and saw Derek, Alli and Lindsay having a stare down with Fiyero, Glinda and Elphaba. "Well… they know each other now," Nia chuckled nervously. "And since Wicked is still on Broadway, and hopefully will be there for a long time to come, I don't think high schoolers can perform it. I know this because my school's drama teacher has to get the rights for us to perform our shows. We've never done a show that's still on Broadway. Sorry!"
"I have to sign more brooms?" Elphaba asked, breaking her stare down with Lindsay.
Nia nodded as she ran to her broom closet and pulled out a broom and a green sharpie. She handed both items to Elphaba, who surprisingly signed it without grumbling.
"Lindsay, can you sign it, too? And Derek and Alli?" Nia asked, holding the broom out to Lindsay.
"Um… sure," Lindsay said as she took the broom from Nia and signed it. She handed it to Derek, who then passed it to Alli and back to Nia.
"Here's your –" Nia was tackled to the ground by I'mFlyingHighDefyingGravity.
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" she screamed. She quickly hugged Elphaba, Lindsay, Alli and Derek and ran back to her seat in the audience.
"You're welcome," Elphaba smiled.
"Air hockey?" Boq asked.
"Is that when you play hockey in the air?" Oscar asked.
Nia was about to nod her head, but ended up shaking it. "No. Air hockey is a game played with a mallet and pucks."
"What?" Fiyero asked.
Nia sighed as she walked over to Elphaba and took her IPhone. "This is air hockey," Nia said, pulling up Air Hockey on Wikipedia.
"Sounds like fun," Elphaba smiled.
"Looks easy enough," Fiyero smirked.
"That's what you think," Nia smiled.
"You can play Fiyero. Let's see how he's smirking when he gets butt kicked again," Elphaba said, copying Fiyero's smirk.
Fiyero shifted uncomfortably.
"Well, I love pink," Glinda smiled.
"There's a shock," Elphaba muttered.
"Um… I don't really know," Lindsay whispered.
"You have to answer," Nia whined. "Please?"
"Fine. Probably Nessa."
"I just wanna fly in 'Defying Gravity'," Alli said.
"Probably Boq," Derek answered.
"Okay. That'll do for now. Just know that the next episode, you will be required to give full answers," Nia told them.
"The next episode?" they asked, staring at the teenager.
Nia nodded. "Well… if you want to. Just for the next one. Pretty please?"
The three guests looked at each other before turning back to Nia. "We would love to stay and answer questions."
"YES!" Nia exclaimed, running up to Lindsay and hugging her. "THANK YOU! And now we get cupcakes," Nia smiled as the cupcakes appeared on her desk. Everyone ran past her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! They're just cupcakes! They're not going anywhere!"
"They're going into my stomach," Glinda said, licking the pink frosting off of her cupcake.
"Okay, before we end for now, I have a few special announcements," Nia said, grabbing a rolled up piece of paper. When she unrolled it, it rolled down the stage. "Don't worry," Nia said, looking at all the shocked faces around her. "It's not really this long. First announcement, voting is now open for the Seventh Annual Greg awards. If you go to Glitter-Bunnii's (She's on my favorite author's list) profile, you can view the rules and vote. Voting ends January 30, 2014!"
"Have you been nominated for anything?" Alli asked, also licking the pink frosting off her cupcake.
Nia nodded excitedly. "Also, Peter1312 has a Wicked Q & A fanfic of his own. I highly recommend that everyone reads and reviews it. It's hilarious! Lastly, since Lindsay, Alli and Derek will be staying for the next episode, which will be underwater –"
"WHAT?" everyone shouted.
"Remember, NellytheActress requested that we do an episode underwater. Don't worry, I have all the equipment in the back. As I was saying, since Lindsay, Alli and Derek will be staying for the next episode, you can send in questions, dares and gifts to them."
"Dares?" Derek gulped.
"Gifts?" Alli smiled.
Nia nodded. "That's how we roll here on Nia Q & A with the Wicked characters. Okay everyone. That's all for now. See you all very soon! And Happy New Year!"
Special thanks to Elphaba'sGirl, Broadwaylover56, MyVisionIsDying, NellytheActress, woodland59, Peter1312, Wickedly Hope Panacake, and I'mFlyingHighDefyingGravity
Song Used:
'Screw Loose' from Cry Baby
'What is this Feeling' from Wicked