Spencer and I have been lying on her bed talking for about an hour now. We haven't brought up anything too serious yet, but I think I should at least try to talk to her about her parents. I know that bottling things up inside of you can seem like the right thing to do sometimes, but after a while, it is just going to wear you down more and more.

I stand up off her bed and decide to look around her room a little bit more. She doesn't stop me or ask what I'm doing; she continues to lie on the bed and starts humming. The music posters that are hanging up are Death Cab for Cutie, Paramore and Mayday Parade. At least we have similar taste in music. The thought makes me smile because now I can take her to a concert, eventually.

My smile quickly fades as I notice a small picture that's sitting on her dresser. I would guess that Spencer is about 15 years old, sporting a sundress and a smile as both her parents flank her sides. Their faces match hers, signs of joy obvious. The Spencer in this picture isn't the one lying a few feet away from me though.

"Hey Spencer, are these your parents?" I ask casually.

She stops humming, lets out a sigh and makes her way towards me. She picks up the picture and looks at it with an expression hard to read, but my best guess would be one of longing.

"Yeah, this picture was taken before my sophomore year of high school."

"It's a beautiful picture, Spence," I tell her honestly. It's evident that this picture is really meaningful to her, so I try to tread lightly around the subject.

She places the picture back on the dresser, this time face down, and sits on the side of her bed. I just stand there looking at her, not really sure what to say or do. She seems to be avoiding me so I move closer to her, standing right in front of her. Brown eyes meet gorgeous baby blue only for a second before her head drops into her hands. The look was one of raw emotion, and I'm sure of one thing. This beautiful girl in front of me is not even remotely happy.

I move to sit beside her on the bed and she caves in. She begins to sob. My heart is breaking with every tear that she drops. I put my arms around her and pull her into my chest, wanting to give her something, anything that could help her. My hands rub her back, an attempt to soothe her but it does nothing. I whisper, "it's all going to be okay, everything will be okay, you will be okay, Spencer." This only seems to make it worse. With every sob, her delicate body racks against mine so I squeeze her hard, but not hard enough to hurt, only hard enough for her to feel me through her tears. I pepper her with kisses, her forehead, cheeks, the top of her head, and gently rock her back and forth.

Her sobs start to slow; now she is trying to catch her breath, but I continue to rock her. She goes limp in my arms, her whole body sagging into mine. It's like she has been holding all of those tears and emotions in for so long that when she finally let it out, the life got sucked right out of her.

Soon enough, her breathing evens out and she seems to have calmed down. I stop rocking her and I hear a small snore. I put her to sleep. There's no way I'm going to wake her up after that, so I gently lay her down on the bed and cover her with a blanket. I take a step back and just admire her. Even after crying, she's so stunning. She might even be more beautiful right now than I've ever seen her before.

I really don't want to leave but I don't want her mother to come home to me staring at her sleeping daughter. I have a feeling she wouldn't like it. I look through her room for a piece of paper and a pen and scribble down a small note.

"This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me.

-Ash xo"

I place the note under her pillow and place a gentle kiss on her forehead before leaving her room. Just as I'm about to pull away, her mom's car pulls into the driveway. I can only hope for Spencer's sake that she doesn't think I just left her house. I hope she'll give Spencer some time to sleep this off.

Journal,

I have to update my mission. I don't care about winning Spencer's heart. I just want to see her happy. I want to be there for her and help her when she needs it. There's no way she's ready to be in a relationship with anyone right now. While I can't control the feelings that I have for her, I can take a different approach towards her. I won't make any moves on her or make her feel pressured or uncomfortable. Right now I think it's best if I try to be a good friend to her. I definitely don't want her to think that I'm only doing this to get in her pants. I really have to earn her trust. It isn't going to be easy, but the fact that she opened up in front of me leads me to believe I'm on the right track.