The more Kyōraku saw his best friend together with Hitsugaya, the angrier he became about it. Jyuushiro had all but pushed him away, refusing to talk to him and, if they were in the same room together for whatever reason, the white-haired Shinigami acted as if Shunsui didn't exist.

The brunet wasn't sure how much more of this he could take; he didn't consider himself a selfish man, but Jyuushiro was his. He wasn't sure what had lead to him wanting the other in such a way apart from the burning envy that arose inside of him once he discovered Jyuushiro had moved on.

Was it fair for him to be thrown away like such an unimportant animal? No. Was it fair he had strung his best friend along only to break his heart in the Academy? No. But he had been disgusted in himself for what he had done with the younger and wanted to erase it from his memory forever.

Things had changed, he knew that. But what? His feelings for Ukitake? Obviously, if he wanted such a repulsive thing from the slighter male. Did this mean he really was gay? No – he couldn't be gay if he had slept with more women than he could count. So he was bi? How abhorrent... But if it meant he could have Ukitake to himself, he would have to put up with it.

Shunsui had been walking back from the bar late at night, having drunk himself into an altered state of consciousness. He was usually very good at holding his liquor, normally feeling nothing more than slightly tired, but now he could barely focus on anything. Time was flying, he was feeling irritable, and he could hardly stand properly let alone walk.

As if things couldn't have gotten worse for the drunk man, the brunet's sharp – if not now-unfocused – eyes caught the familiar sight of long white hair swaying with the wind. He growled to himself, seeing the Tenth Captain walking beside his Jyuushiro.

With a loud shout, Kyōraku stumbled forward, calling for them to stop. He had never wanted to kill someone just because they were near him before, but looking at Hitsugaya... He wanted the younger boy dead for putting the distance in his friendship with Ukitake. He was drunk, unable to acknowledge the fact that they had grown distant because of him, and he needed someone to blame. Who better to blame than the child prodigy who had taken his place?

The two whited-haired males had stopped, turning to look at the stumbling male trying to rush towards them. They shared a look before they stood their ground, the stress associated with Shunsui too much to take anymore.

"Please, leave us alone, Kyōraku!" Jyuushiro pleaded. "I've had enough! I am happy with Toshiro now! You had your chance!"

Shunsui reached out, grabbing the front of Jyuushiro's shihakusho and pulling him close. He crushed his lips against pale ones with bruising force, pressing the smaller man up against the wall of the building behind them.

The brunet's hands forced Ukitake's to the weaker man's side as he rubbed his hips against Jyuushiro's, ignoring the other's struggle, and he only pulled away when a Zanpakuto was placed against his neck in a threatening manner.

"Leave him alone." Toshiro was calm, but his green eyes burned with hatred. "Did you not hear him? He hates you."

"Jyuu would never hate me," the brunet slurred, his blurry eyes running over Toshiro's tiny form. "It's you he hates. He's using you."

Jyuushiro held back the tears as he shoved at his friend. His body trembled, not from fear but from anger. He shook his head, unable to hold himself back anymore. "I hate you! I hate you so much, Kyōraku! Why can't you understand what you've done to me?! It's you who's using me! You could never love me the way I love you!"

"Bullshit." Shunsui narrowed his eyes as he reached out for his friend again. He was stopped by the feeling of a blade digging into his skin, drawing droplets of blood. He turned to look at Toshiro, his hands moving to his own Zanpakuto. He was just about to draw them when warm hands closed around his own. He glanced back to see Ukitake staring at him, his eyes unreadable.

Before Shunsui could so much as open his mouth to question the younger, he was thrown back with force from Jyuushiro he had only seen a handful of times. He landed on the hard cement ground, staring up at the white-haired man who was now advancing on him, Sogyo no Kotowari drawn.

"I can't take this anymore!" Jyuushiro screamed, his eyes wild with anger. His Zanpakuto was thrust into the ground beside Shunsui's head, a small fissure resulting in his unbridled rage. "You've made me feel so dirty and unloved because I couldn't help but love you! You just kept me away and acting like I was filth for things I couldn't help! All I wanted was to die because the one I loved most seemed to hate me for who I was! You can't see what you've done to me because you don't want to see! You don't want to acknowledge you messed up! You don't deserve my love! Leave me alone! I will never forgive you for what you've put me through! You should be happy that I'm happy with Toshiro!"

Jyuushiro pulled his Zanpakuto from the ground, raising it as if he were going to drive it through his friend's body. Before he could, however, he was settled by a small hand resting on his side. He glanced down, seeing Toshiro looking up at him.

"No." Toshiro shook his head, his voice soft. "Leave him. He isn't worth it. He probably doesn't even get a word of what you're saying."

Closing his green eyes regretfully, Jyuushiro nodded. He placed his Zanpakuto in its sheath, turning to leave with his boyfriend without a second glance at Shunsui.

Shunsui, however, was thinking over what the younger had said. Had Jyuushiro really felt like that for all these years? Because of him? He... had never meant to make the frail man feel so bad! Had he been blind to his best friend's emotions? Or had he seen them for what they were and just hadn't cared? Was he... selfish...?

Pushing himself to his feet, Kyōraku stumbled out of the street, making his way back to his Division. He couldn't stop the thoughts that assaulted him, making him understand what he had been doing, how the other had felt because of him. He hated himself for that, he really did. He loved his best friend! Maybe he had only ever – and still did – love Jyuushiro as a best friend, or maybe he had always loved him romantically but couldn't acknowledge that. Maybe he would never know where he truly stood with Ukitake, but he did know that he had to stop this; he couldn't bear to let him suffer any longer.

Shunsui was disgusted with the fact that it had taken him getting drunk and attacked by Jyuushiro before he realised what he was doing; he really was a terrible person, wasn't he?