I'm seriously very flattered by the response to the one-shot, so I decided to turn it into a three part story. I'm nervous because I like to quit while I'm ahead & leave a good one-shot as a one-shot- but here goes nothing. Chapter is based on this cool new little indie song called Helpless / Bloodlines Pt. II by Sir Sly.
"What do I do if I lose you? I feel helpless."
Alison pushes her way through sweaty bodies and stumbling fools with her trademark-bitch glare burning holes through innocent bystanders who so much as look at her. When a callous stray hand lands on her arm, she whips around angrily to see a drunk young man trying to get her attention.
"You have five seconds to get your hands off me before I shove your balls so far up inside you they'll never be able to find them," she snarls with a vicious curl of her lips, her blue eyes sharp and heated. The brilliant cerulean color pierces through everything she looks at. The poor guy shrinks back and the emotional blonde turns and continues to shove her way through.
"Alison?"
She hears another voice delay her from her hunt and she grunts, aggravated as she turns around and sees the ever-curious youngest Hastings.
"Now's not a good time Spencer," she says with a terribly aggressive glint in her eye.
"Woah calm down," the intellectual says caught off guard by the sheer ferocity. "Where have you been? None of us have heard from you, nobody has seen you in weeks…"
Alison can't even be bothered to pay any attention as she turns around and leaves the startled Hastings behind. She approaches the front of the inside of the house after having circled the entire thing while enduring flashing lights and spilled drinks at the inevitably dim college house party.
Her eyes lock on tan skin and long dark hair and her heart beat fasts despite the way she tells herself to stay calm. But she feels more than just a pang of jealousy when she sees another blonde draping herself all over her mermaid.
Still, she lost the right to that possessive pronoun when she couldn't handle the speed of their relationship. Alison DiLaurentis had grit her teeth and faced every fear except her extremely deep-rooted fear of commitment.
She feels her own heart helplessly pounding. It's not that she's lost; she's just in the middle of a mess she doesn't understand.
So she does what she does best- she throws on her bitch face and storms up to the two clearly intoxicated girls.
"Hey, you," she says with an obviously fake smile as she grabs one of the blonde's arms and pulls her off of Emily. "Who the hell are you?"
"Samara," the blonde shoots back at her in an annoyed tone. "Who are you?"
"The girl Emily fucked so hard last week that she couldn't walk the rest of the day," Alison says bluntly as she ignores the jaw drop from the brunette. "So I suggest you take your hands off of my mermaid and get the hell out of here. This is my friend's house, and I will have him throw you out if you don't leave now."
Venom is dripping from her words and just as always, the victim of her brutality gives in and runs.
But when her icy stare lands on the brunette, she finds an equally angry glare staring back at her.
"Outside, now," Emily growls, and she grips the blonde's wrist so hard that Alison thinks she'll lose blood circulation in her fingers. She drags her through the front door and all the way to her car on the street.
"What the fuck was that?" the brunette hisses as she forcefully throws Alison towards the vehicle. The blonde stumbles into the car and has to catch herself before turning around. She forgot about how drunk Emily doesn't hold back from anything, whether it be sex, emotions, or physical actions.
"I should be asking you the same thing," Alison says scowling as she rubs her wrist.
"In case you missed the memo Ali, you broke up with me, remember?" Emily says in a low, angry voice. "You're the one that started dating that asshole two weeks later. Or did you forget?"
Alison stays still, her eyes locked in an intense gaze with the brunette that unnerves her.
"You had no right to step in just now and interfere," she says as she backs Alison up completely against the car until the blonde feels cornered and tries to shove her backwards. But the brunette has lightning reflexes, even while drunk, and grabs both her wrists in another tight grip that has Ali yelping. "I don't do that to you and fuckface. Let me move on."
"Emily, you're hurting me," she whimpers and the brunette immediately releases her in a split second. It makes Emily feel pathetic about how much she still cares after the blonde broke her heart for the fourth time.
"What do you want from me, Alison?"
"You haven't answered my calls or texts since that day," she says painfully looking Emily in the eyes, trying to find a hint of compassion. "I needed you and you weren't there."
"Because I decided that was the last time I settle for being your shoulder to cry on and fuck buddy on the side- I am so much better than him. And you can't see that, so I'm not going to stick around," Emily rants, her voice is full of raw frustration.
"You are better than him," Alison agrees and Emily looks at her so furiously that the bold blonde shrinks back.
"Then why don't you show it? Why do you treat me like I'm someone you can just use over and over again? Why do you keep hurting me? Why are you even with him in the first place?!" Emily asks the questions that have been on her mind since the day they started falling apart. It took liquid courage to force them out.
"Because I'm fucking terrified," Alison almost yells but she manages to keep her voice under a shouting tone. "You want to give me all this love and you're this perfect person and I will never be able to measure up to that."
She tries to soften her voice now that she sees she's gotten Emily's attention.
"I hate myself for how I treat you, because you mean everything to me. But I'm always so scared when I let you get really close because I'm afraid you'll wake up and realize how awful I am one day, and you'll just leave. You were talking about possibly getting married one day, Emily! How could you ever want to even be married to someone like me? I don't know how to believe that, I don't know how to trust that you love me because I hate me," Alison says as her voice begins to tremble and she spills all the truths from her heart that she' s hidden for so long.
"But you're the only person that makes me feel like I'm not complete shit. You always believed in me," she says as her lips begin to quiver. The brunette is just giving her a dumbfounded look. "So why didn't you try to stop me from leaving?"
Her eyes are now glassy and threatening to spill over and she doesn't really know how all these words started to come out, but she can't stop herself now.
"Why didn't you even fight for me stay with you? I tried to convince myself that you didn't give up on us every time I asked you to come over and you did. I never loved him, or even really liked him, he was just someone to keep me company when I was lonely and I couldn't be around you because I didn't deserve to be. But you changed, you became mean and you were seeing other people but fucking me with all your frustration. And I needed you this week and you weren't there," she says as she almost starts to cry, but she doesn't. Before the brunette can even think of a response, the blonde pulls Emily flush against her and kisses her with desperation.
For a moment, the brunette doesn't kiss back out of shock. But when she feels the heart shaped lips continuously moving against hers, she slips into a daze as she gasps and lets the blonde slip her tongue inside. Once again, she's never felt someone kiss her so urgently.
Ali can barely focus on anything except the way Emily's mouth tastes like alcohol mixed with her own nostalgic taste that Alison has come to crave.
Emily pulls back, stunned, and looks carefully at the emotionally volatile blonde.
"Don't leave me, I don't know how to live without you in my life," Alison mumbles helplessly as she plants kisses on Emily's bare neck and shoulders. Emily was the only person she'd allow herself to unravel in front of.
"Ali stop," the brunette says while gently pushing her away. She holds the nervous blonde by her shoulders and tries to calm her down. "I didn't chase after you because I didn't want to get hurt any more than I already was. It has nothing to do with thinking you're a horrible person. I could always tell you still cared, even when you were pushing me away. But when you told me you didn't think this could ever work, I didn't know what to do with myself."
Alison looks besides herself, as if she's listening but growing more panicked.
"What happened, Ali? What aren't you telling me?"
The blonde isn't always pleased with the way Emily can almost read her like a book, but right now she's relieved.
"He found out about you," she says avoiding eye contact.
"How?"
"There were bite marks on the side of my neck, Em," Alison says but she doesn't appear angry that the brunette had disobeyed her order to not leave a mark.
"So what happened?"
"We got in a fight," she said cautiously looking at the brunette.
"So you wanted to talk to me because you got in a fight with him again?"
"It wasn't just a normal fight," Ali insists as she lifts her shirt up and reveals a large bruise on her side between her hip and ribs. Emily's eyes widen in horror as she sees the dark blue/purple colors that stand out against her pale creamy skin.
"He did that to you?" Emily asks, protective rage filling her entire body. They might not be dating, and she might be trying to move on, but she sure as hell hates the thought of anyone laying a hand on Alison.
"I told him about you and that I didn't quite feel the same way he did, and he got really angry. We were yelling at each other and he pushed me into the counter corner," she says trying to stay calm about it but it would be the fourth time after Cyrus, Ian, and Wilden that some guy she trusted had turned violent on her. "I told him to get out and never come back to my place again. But he keeps showing up trying to apologize."
"So why do you need me? Did you want me to tell him off for you or something?" Emily asks a bit coldly without intending to. But she is just so tired of this, regardless of whether Ali is afraid or not. She can't take much more emotional torment.
(Still, she wanted to hurt the bastard that dared to hurt Alison physically.)
"I…I just…"
But Alison can't even bring herself to say what she ultimately wants to say. She wants to tell Emily that she's completely and unapologetically still in love with her. She wants to apologize over and over again for putting Emily through the emotional turmoil of watching her with be with someone else. She wants to tell her mermaid about how she doesn't just need her in her life, but rather she needs her in every way possible.
(Alison had never felt more alone than this week without any contact with her mermaid.)
Instead, she stands still, frozen, her words stuck in her throat.
"Do you really like her?" she blurts out.
"Who? Samara?" Emily asks incredulously. This conversation is all over the place and the whiplash of emotions is giving her a serious headache.
"Whatever her name is," Alison says. "I heard things about you two, and that you were showing up tonight at Noel's with her."
"You came all the way from Philly to find out if I was showing up at a Hollis party with another girl?"
"I wanted to talk," Alison lies and Emily interjects before she can spew more bullshit.
"You told her that I fucked you, so I think you wanted to do a little more than just talk," Emily says in a low voice. "Why are you allowed to be jealous? I didn't come storming into your apartment when you were having sex with whatever his name is. And believe me, I wish I did just to throw it in his face that I fucked you better."
"I never even had sex with him," Alison yells catching Emily off guard. "He's wanted to for weeks but I can't. Not with him."
"What are you trying to say, Alison?"
The full use of her name makes her shudder with anticipation.
"I'm tired of talking," she says like a true emotional avoider.
She instead uses both her hands to reach up and grab Emily's face and pull the drunk girl's face close as she kisses her slowly, sensuously, and torturously. It's enough to make Emily throw aside their massive problems for the moment, and give in to pleasure. She can barely breathe as Alison kisses her neck and bites it gently before licking it to sooth the little wound before sucking hard.
"Do you have your keys?" the blonde says in her husky sex voice that drives Emily absolutely crazy. She'd follow that voice to hell and back.
"Back pocket," she manages to mumble as Alison pulls on her earlobe with her teeth.
"Convenient," Ali says as she reaches into them and unlocks the car before giving Emily's ass a hard squeeze causing the brunette to gasp. "Inside?"
"Inside, now," Emily agrees and the two are fumbling into the backseat like two high schoolers trying not to get caught. The moment is familiar to them. And it feels helplessly natural, it always has.
Some things just never change.