Jane flopped down on her couch with the T.V remote in hand. Maybe watching Sports Center or a movie would help take her mind off of things, but she just sat there staring at a blank screen. Seeing Maura today was quite unexpected, and very unsetting. Just as Jane reached for the T.V remote, she heard a knock at the door. Jane opened the door expecting to see the pizza delivery person, but was now standing face to face with the last person she wanted to share space with. Jane was quick to shut the door, but Maura placed her foot in the doorway.

"Jane. Please?" a soft plea. "I would like to speak with you."

Jane stepped away from the door and moved towards the couch. Her body was rigid with anger as she ran her hands up the back of her neck. Jane turned quickly on her heals and point a finger at Maura.

"YOU STAY RIGHT THERE! You are not welcome in my house, so say whatever you need to say and then get the FUCK out!" Jane voice boomed in her tiny apartment.

Maura stood in the doorway. She didn't dare to defy Jane's request. Even though Jane's words were harsh and sliced into her, she knew the pain she felt paled in comparison to what her actions have done to her best friend.

Moments passed as Maura tried to will her voice to work.

Jane let out an exasperated "WHAT!"

Maura cleared her throat and stood up straight and squared her shoulders. Her voice was meak as she began.

"Jane, I… Well, I'm here to offer you an apology. The way that I handled..." Maura started to twist the ring on her finger in attempt to alleviate some nervous energy. "My actions were unbecoming of a person who is suppose to be your friend. I'm truly sorry for any distress that I have caused you." Maura shifted her weight from one side to the other. She couldn't bring herself to look at Jane, but she could feel Jane's glaring at her expecting more.

"That's it? That is all that you have to say to me?" Jane shooked her hands in the air and then rested them on her hips.

Maura finally looked up at Jane and all of her fury. Words escaped her.

"Well Shit! I guess everything is ok now that you have apologised. As for my distress…" Jane made invisible quotations marks with her fingers. "... it a thing of the past because now I know that you're sorry for your unbecoming behavior." Jane voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm confused to which behavior found to be unbecoming? Was it when you fucked me after I poured my heart out to you, or was it the morning after when you slinked away as if the night before meant nothing? Shit, Maura if it was going to be like that then you should have at least left a few dollars on the nightstand, so I would have known that services had been rendered."

"Jane." was all Maura could get out before she was cut off.

"Do you have any idea how much hurt and rejection I felt when just moments after we were together you literally turned your back to me? Only to have those feelings reinforced the morning after when I found that you had left." Jane's voice faltered a bit as she shifted her stance. "Why sleep with me in the first place if you were going to dismiss what we did as if it was nothing?" Her voice lost a little bit of the venom that she started with. Jane wanted to continue her interrogation but her voice was starting to shake, and she didn't want to give Maura the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Maura inhaled deeply and attempted once again to explain herself.

"Your confession was a lot of new information that I needed to process. This new information challenged my prior notions about us and how I perceived our relationship. It presented an alternative hypothesis, and I needed to gather more Information to test the validity of said Hypothesis." Maura voice trailed off as she saw the look on Jane's face.

Seething with anger, Jane shouted "WHAT THE HELL, MAURA?! I'm not some stupid science experiment. My HEART…" She slams her left hand over her chest. "... is not something you can run diagnostic tests on. My love is not some baseline to compare other statistics to! And FUCK YOU for treating me as such! Jane's face was beet red and her nostrils flared with every exhale of air.

Jane took a half step towards Maura with the intent to physically remove her from the doorway. Maura put her hands up in attempt to stop Jane's approach.

"Jane, wait… I misspoke." Maura's eyes begging Jane to give her one more chance to explain herself. Against Jane's better judgement she stilled her movements.

Maura closed her eyes as she replayed what she just said over and over in her mind, and she felt like a monster. This is not how she wanted to communicate with Jane, but she was frightened by Jane's anger and ashamed that she was the cause of it. Maura's life has always been a solitary one and her constant companions were science and logic. A compartmentalized and scientific approach has been her default setting when relating with the outside world. She never really developed the skills to articulate her emotions in a proper manner, not that she wasn't capable of expressing her feelings, it was just something that didn't come naturally to her. When faced with this emotionally charged situation with Jane, she reverted to her default setting, but Jane deserved better from her. She deserved to hear what's in her heart, not the science, nor the logic. Speak from the heart became Maura's mantra as she gathered her courage to speak again.

"The is truth to my prior statement, but I shouldn't have presented it in such a away. I apologize for that. This whole ordeal that happened between us has been extremely difficult to navigate emotionally." Maura lowered her hands to her side. "I'm unsure to where I need to start because it's a big jumbled mess in my head. I'm not very good at explaining my feelings, but I'm going to try my best to explain my actions to you because you deserve answers."

Maura paused seeking Jane's approval to continue. Jane let out a slight huff and gestured with her hands for Maura to continue.

"I have always had an aesthetic attraction to you, but this attraction was superficial and it didn't contain any real emotional substance, it was just a simple appreciation for your beauty." Maura offered a slight smile. "So I filed my attraction away in the category of things I find aesthetically pleasing and never really gave much credence to it. Our friendship, on the other hand, is filed under the category of the things that I cherish most in this word." Maura's voice sadden a bit. She lifted her right hand to touch her forehead as her gaze shifted towards the floor. Jane shifted her weight and crossed her arms over her chest.

"When you told me how you felt, I was taken by surprise because I never considered the possibility that you would have romantic feelings for me, or that my attraction would be anything other than a superficial fancey. Im my mind there wasn't a context that existed where my attraction and our friendship would equal a possible romantic exchange. As I stood in my room, I kept replaying what you said over and over in my mind. Your words…" Maura's hand slid down to her chest in an attempt to keep the well of emotions bursting from her chest.

"... I can't really explain it, but I felt them here." Maura pointed to her heart. "When I went to your room, I didn't have the intention of sleeping with you, or at least I wasn't cognitive of that desire. I wanted to see if you were ok. I felt like there was more that needed to be said, but I was unsure of what. My mind was reeling with so many thoughts that it was hard to focus on just one thing." Maura cleared her throat and looked up at Jane. Her expression was hard and unreadable. Nerves started to overcome Maura but she pressed on.

"When I saw you standing there in your sleepwear, with tousled hair, and a sweet expression on your face, you had never seem so lovely to me than you did in that moment. And it was in that moment a context was created and I reacted. It wasn't a fully actualized concept in my mind and I must admit that emotions played a huge part in spurring my actions along."

Jane's face harden at Maura's words. The worst part was coming up and Maura didn't know if she was going to make it to the end without collapsing.

"As for what happened after we were together…" Maura's voice was soft. her throat was dry and she had a slight metallic taste on her tongue, she must have bit her cheek. "... I had this thought that maybe after we slept together, things would fall into place. Everything would automatically make sense and I would unequivocally know that you and I were meant to be together, but that's not what I felt when it was over." Jane dropped her gaze and turned her body towards the couch. She ran her fingers over the blanket that was draped over the back. Maura felt like she just delivered another devastating blow to her friends heart. She spoke up quickly in order to not lose Jane's attention.

"I felt an extraordinary amount of guilt for cheating on Jason, it started to consume my thoughts. I felt ashamed of my action because not only did I cheat on the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but I realized that I slept with you for all the wrong reasons. I slept with you because I afraid that I was going to lose you. You had been so absent from my life lately, and I was terrified that you would completely disappear all together after I married Jason. Plus, I desperately wanted to give you the life that you desired, but in the end I just felt guilt and shame, and in the morning I couldn't bring myself to face you, so like a coward I left before you woke up."

Jane turned to face Maura and spoke with a bitter tone. "Ok I get it. You were confused, we fucked, and then you felt nothing but guilt and shame because we fucked. Is there anything else you would like to add? If not, then you can see yourself out." Jane pointed towards the door.

"Jane… That's…." Maura let out a frustrated sigh. She wished Jane would have taken more from what she said, but the hurt a betrayal was still strong within her friend. These are things were cause by her doing, and she foolishly hoped that if she explained herself and her actions that it would help to repair some of the damage, but it's painfully obvious that is not a possibility at this point in time.

"Jane, I know was careless with your heart and that I've cause you pain. I violated your trust and I'm solely responsible for breaking us past the point of repair. I don't expect forgiveness, but I want you to know that all of this was never my intent, and I would give my life to make it right." Maura stood there fidgeting with the hem of her blouse awaiting for Jane's response.

"You have said your peace, now please go." Jane said with a defeated tone as she turned her back towards Maura.

"Just for the record, I do not regret what psychically transpired between us. I regret the circumstances under which they happen." Maura turned and walked into the hallway.

AN: I hope their exchanges felt natural and not force or childish. I tried my best. Did I succeed in making Maura a little less of a horrible person? let me know:-)