**Once again, I don't like to curse so please use your imagination when Romano talks. ^.^**
"Mind if I visit you tomorrow?" I asked a bit timidly.
"Why the heck are you asking me to visit? That potato lover do something stupid?"
"No, no! I just wanted to visit my fratello," my voice was hushed and I twiddled my thumbs nervously.
"Lovi~ Come here Lovi~!" I heard on the other line, "Get away from me! AND DON'T CALL ME LOVI!"
I heard indistinct conversation (if you could call it that. It sounded more like children fighting over the last piece of candy.) on the other line until the phone dropped and I heard static. A few minutes of yelling later, I heard the phone get picked back up.
"Look, I gotta go. I have to murder that tomato lover…"
He didn't wait for my response as I heard the line click dead. Sighing, I put my cell phone back on my nightstand. Forcing my eyes shut, I tried to sleep, but my mind wandered around aimlessly, refusing my desire for dreams.
I walked outside. The stars are more interesting than my ceiling.
Lying on my back, I looked into the night sky. The grass under me felt so cold. Wet. Had it rained earlier? If it had, I hadn't noticed. I felt so high. No, not drunk high… It was hard to describe. I felt like I was flying. My mind was somewhere else. I felt like I was dreaming, yet every time I pinched myself to make sure, I was awake. The stars were miraculous.
I wished so much I could be something other than human. The daisies from the field, always happy and dancing. Swaying. Being beautiful. Being admired. People would pick you; take you away just because you were pretty. Because they liked you. Part of me longed for someone to love me enough to be selfish like that for me.
I wished so much I could be something other than human. The stars in the night sky. People looked up at you, entrusted you with their deepest secrets and wishes. They saw you every night without fail. Even if you were a million years late… you'd always be there. Someone would be there, dependent on your light.
But this is just wistful thinking on my part.
"Italia?" I thought I heard someone call me.
Who would be at my house at this hour—spotting me outside in the darkness nonetheless? Thinking it was all in my head, I ignored the voice and continued to stare at the stars. The blades of grass hugged my elbows as my hands were folded across my stomach.
"Italy, why are you crying?" the voice was softer.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I reached my fingers up to my cheeks, coming back wet. Finally looking up, I saw it was Japan whom was kneeling next to me.
"Ve~ I didn't know I was!" I smiled and brushed the tears away. "What are you doing here, Japan?"
"You've been acting a bit odd these last few weeks…" he seemed to ignore my question.
"Me? Odd?" I let a little laugh bubble up through my body.
"You were just crying," he pointed out.
"Oh… I didn't know I was though," I brushed my hair out of my eyes and continued smiling.
Japan reluctantly lied down next to me, probably because the action wasn't very dignified. He settled himself in the most respectful way possible for lying outside in the grass, and turned a dark brown eye my way.
"If you'd like to talk, I'm here," he stated simply.
It was times like this I really admired him. He always knew exactly what to say, how to say it, what to do, and on top of that, he was always there when I needed him. Honestly, did he have some super-power?
"Well…" I started, "It's just that Germany's found this girl… She's really pretty. They seemed really interested in each other—heck they even looked good together. And now they have a date tomorrow…"
"Do you have feelings for Germany, Italy?" Japan asked cautiously.
I averted my eyes as a pink color ran across my face, "Yes…" I said quietly. "I know they're going to hit it off… I mean she's so pretty and Germany's so…"
I trailed off, knowing I made my point. I sat up and hugged my knees.
"He even invited me to a double-date with him… He's so stupid…" I gave a light laugh before continuing, "But you probably think I'm strange for falling in love with him… I mean it's impossible."
"You'd never know," Japan said calmly, "Maybe he doesn't like this girl. Who says it's going to work out?"
A smile lifted onto my cheeks.
That's a nice dream. I've had it many times…
We lied there for what seemed like forever. We must have fallen asleep on accident because the next thing I remembered was waking to the sun peeking up from behind a mountain in the distance. I rolled over sluggishly and saw Japan was still next to me. I fought the urge to laugh when I saw he drooled a little. Just imagine: Japan, the dignified country, drooling.
"Japan, I think we fell asleep," I shook his shoulder.
Japan opened his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings.
"Do you want to do something today Japan?" I asked once it seemed he was fully awake.
Japan nodded respectfully and we both got up.
We got dressed and went to town. We had no idea what to do or where to go, but we were both so darn bored we just decided to wander around until something found us.
Mindless chatter kept us busy for the time we walked. It had been a while since I went anywhere with Japan. It almost kept my mind off of my depression. I forgot what it was like to have a true friend. Someone who's always there for you.
We went into many stores. In some we would just look, other times we would buy things. We went into a costume store once and I made Japan try on a rock star costume. It was so hilarious to watch him get all flustered and reject it before I forced the sunglasses on him and he tried the rest on. I wanted to take a picture but he gave me the death glare… Oh well, I have my memory!
I didn't realize how late it was getting. We stopped at a small pizza shop and both ate some, although Japan did try to convince me to go to a Japanese Steakhouse a while down the street. After that we got gelato. I swear it was the best day I'd had in a long time. Too long.
We were cracking jokes as we walked past all the rest of the restaurants, Japan elbowing me when we passed the Japanese Steakhouse. I only laughed. Japan seemed to be at ease. I had never seen him act like this. Normally all his answers were a polite "Yes" or "No" and he would stand up straight and all that junk. It was refreshing to see him act like we were friends.
I saw Japan's gaze move towards one of the restaurants and lingered there (did his eyes widen?) as his pace slowed. Noticing, I slowed down as well.
"What?" I asked, still smiling as I followed his gaze.
My smile twisted downwards and my eyes widened. We looked through the window to one of the restaurants. Germany sat in a booth with Tabitha. He smiled softly and his eyes looked gentle. I've seen that look so many times— I just never dreamed I'd see it on Germany. It made his features so much more beautiful.
"I-I think we should go…" Japan said quietly, pulling my elbow, but I wouldn't budge. His words hardly registered in my mind.
They were sitting on the same side of the booth. Both smiling brightly. He pushed a piece of brown hair behind her ear and his lips moved. She seemed to blush. Her eyes looked away and she mouthed a single word before looking back at him expectantly.
But the next image that computed in the back of my head forced me to run, almost forgetting Japan whom had been so polite to come along on this trip with me.
I just wanted to leave. I wanted to run. I wanted to escape. I would do anything to get rid of the pain in my chest. My heart hurt from both the restaurant and from running. I tripped over my own two feet and fell to the ground. I coughed from my dry throat. My bottom lip quivered but I forced the tears back in.
I hated crying. I always cried. I can man up for once in my miserable life.
But seeing Germany kiss that girl made my heart fall into a bottomless hole to be devoured by the cruelest thing in the world: fate.
Haven't I been writing a lot lately? Thank you tons for reading and reviewing! It makes me smile no matter if it's an elaborate review or a simple "good job." ^.^