A/N: Chaptaa 8 :D Happy? I hope so! I got some pretty awesome reviews today-although one guest said that they hated how slow Santana and Quinn were going to show their feelings... I don't think this is going slow at all, and I hope this person will reconsider reading this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Glee! Unfortunately...
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Chapter 8
The next day, Quinn woke up feeling pretty good. She had a small smile on her face she showered and did her hair and makeup. She felt like maybe she was finally making some sort of progress in everything, and that felt more than good.
When she got to Cheerios practice, though, she saw Santana whispering something to Brittany, and suddenly that feeling took over and she moved to the other side of the group. What had Santana been saying to the other blonde?
Stop worrying, Fabray.
Quinn felt like everyday was going pretty much exactly the same, with just little bits of improvement. Her first three classes were spent trying to think of what to tell Santana during lunch, and wondering what the Latina would tell her.
Then lunch came, and she found herself lazily eating a sandwich in the Choir Room. For the first half of lunch, she ate to herself, as no one was there. And then, just on time, Santana stepped into the room, sitting herself down on top of the piano.
"Hey," she greeted.
Quinn gave her a smile. "Hi."
"Why haven't you started eating in the cafeteria again?" Santana asked. "It's a pain walking all the way over here."
Quinn smirked and shook her head. "Would you rather exchange our awkward little conversations in front of a bunch of bitchy Cheerios?"
Santana scrunched up her face as she realized Quinn's point. "You're right. But we could both just come here after."
"I like it in here," Quinn answered, leaning back into her chair and looking around. "It feels safe in this room, like I can be whoever I want to be."
"Like what?" Santana asked, swaying her legs that were hanging off the edge the piano.
Quinn bit her bottom lip. "Myself."
"You're not usually yourself?" Santana asked, quirking up an eyebrow slightly.
"Nope. Are you, S?"
There was a pause, and Santana hesitated. "I guess not."
"No one is really their self until they're alone, I think," Quinn muttered.
"That's not true," Santana argued instantly. "When you're close enough to a person, you can be yourself around them."
"Like you and B?" Quinn asked, immediately reproaching herself for having done so. Santana pursed her lips. "No, I'm sorry," Quinn apologized immediately. "Forget I said anything."
"I was thinking more like when we were super close," Santana admitted, shrugging. Quinn felt her stomach twist. When they were close, Quinn wasn't even herself. All this time she'd been head over heels for this girl, but she'd never showed it. That was not being yourself.
"Yeah," is all she said.
"So, you want to go first?" Santana asked.
"I always go first," Quinn complained.
"It was your idea," Santana defended. "Plus, I sang a song yesterday, that made up for me going second."
Quinn rolled her eyes, and tried to think of something to say. Finally, she told the Latina, "I admire the people in Glee Club. They're not afraid to be themselves. I wish I was like that, I'm not myself around anyone. They step in this room and they can dance and sing all their thoughts and emotions and just... they're themselves. I mean, I can feel more like myself in here, but it's still not... true, if you know what mean?"
Santana nodded slowly, a slight frown on her face. "Okay," she said quietly. "I know what you mean."
Third bit, check! "I think it's your turn now," Quinn encouraged, giving the Latina a teasing smile.
"I've been keeping a really big secret from everyone I've known since around eighth grade. Only one person knows it, and I'm too scared to tell anyone else," Santana blurted, looking at the ground. Quinn took a deep breath. That was it? She wasn't gonna say the secret. Then Santana added, "I um, will try to tell you tomorrow, I guess."
"Okay," Quinn managed to say. She took another breath. "I know how you feel, S."
Santana exhaled, sounding relieved. "So, how's it going with your new friendship with Rachel?" Santana asked, trying to change the topic.
"We're not really friends, but I started talking to her about my crap." Quinn tried to sound happy, but she was honestly very worried right now. Worried about what Santana would tell her tomorrow.
"I hope you're not literally talking to her about your crap," Santana teased. Quinn rolled her eyes, chuckling.
"Totally," she said sarcastically. "Oh, what ever happened with you and Puck?"
Santana tensed immediately. "I, uh, followed your advice. I called him back and told him that I can't be with him anymore, like ever. So, I guess thanks for that."
"No problem, S," Quinn insisted. "You deserve way better than him, and I know that you'll find someone who will love you for you and not for your body."
Santana smiled sweetly at her. "Thanks Q." Then she paused before smirking. "But you have to admit, my body is pretty amazing."
Quinn felt her skin heat up like twenty billion degrees at those words. She only managed a smirk. She suddenly had all the visuals in her mind of Santana dancing, Santana walking, Santana showering, Santana doing a bunch of stuff that were probably a little R rated...
"You okay?" Santana asked her suddenly, knocking the blonde out of her sexual thoughts.
"Uh, yeah, sorry," Quinn muttered.
Mr. Shue walked into the room just on time, and Quinn stood up while Santana slid off the piano.
"See you in Glee, Mr. Shue!" Santana and Quinn called to him simultaneously as they walked out, before giggling as though nothing had ever been bad between them.
"I'll see you later, Q," Santana told her with a smile.
"Yeah, see you, Santana," Quinn responded, smiling as well. They parted ways and Quinn sighed. Things were getting so much better, but the secret that Santana was going to tell her tomorrow might end up ruining, or improving, everything. Quinn was honestly not too bothered by the pace that everything was going at, and she was a little scared to change it up much.
She managed to pay attention in her next classes, which was a surprise, and found out that really she hadn't missed much, so she felt as though she'd never zoned out for the past three days. Paying attention made the rest of the day go by slowly, but finally she walked into the Choir Room.
Mercedes and Kurt were laughing and twirling each other around playfully. Tina was pushing Artie around in his wheelchair playfully, while Mike and Puck were sitting talking. Rachel and Finn were in the corner of the room kissing, which totally grossed her out. Santana walked in right after Quinn, immediately going to stand next to her.
"I feel like such an outcast in here," Santana admitted.
"I know, it's still weird," Quinn agreed, going to sit down in her normal spot. Santana sat next to her, and Mr. Shue walked into the room, clapping his hands together.
"Alright guys! We finally have our set list down for Sectionals! I know that you all have been fighting about it, but I have listened to each and every one of you and picked the perfect songs!" he announced.
"Did you pick Run Joey Run?" Rachel asked, excited.
"No!" everyone except for Santana and Quinn yelled. The two Cheerios just sat there with puzzled faces.
Mr. Shue rolled his eyes. "No, Rachel, I didn't."
He started blabbing about the songs, but Quinn knew that she was going to hear them again the next day when they started practicing, so he tuned him out to think about what would happen tomorrow. What Santana would say to her might end up ruining their friendship, or strengthening it, or maybe it would do nothing at all, but not knowing was driving the blonde crazy!
When Glee Club was over, Santana said her goodbye to Quinn and then left. Quinn lagged a little bit, because she didn't really feel like going to her empty, boring house after what a an improved day she'd had.
Rachel came up to her as she was slowly walking out of the school. "Hi, Quinn."
"Hey, Rach," Quinn greeted, not really thinking of the nickname as she said it.
"Oh," Rachel said softly. Quinn quirked an eyebrow at the other girl, who quickly shook her head. "Sorry. How are you?"
"Better," Quinn answered honestly. "I think."
"Wanna talk about anything?"
"Can I come over to your place?" Quinn asked suddenly. Rachel raised an eyebrow at her. "Please? My house is always empty and it's so depressing and we can talk at your place."
"Okay," Rachel agreed, "my dads are out for the day anyway."
Rachel told Quinn that she usually walked to and from school, so Quinn drove them to Rachel's house in her car, not wanting to leave it in the school parking lot.
When they got there, Rachel let her into a large, spacious, yet homey house. "Welcome to the Berry household," Rachel said happily.
"Nice place," Quinn approved with a nod.
"Thanks," Rachel said simply, leading the blonde into the living room. They both dropped their bags onto the floor and sat on opposite ends of a large couch, facing each other. "So, you want to talk more?"
"Yeah," Quinn answered quietly. "So... Santana and I decided that everyday, we're going to tell each other a little bit of our problems so that we can start to talk to each other again. For me, it's been a problem because eventually I'll have to tell her that I like her. But today, she told me that she has a secret, and she's going to tell me tomorrow."
"Okay?" Rachel asked slowly, not really understanding the problem.
Exasperated, Quinn exclaimed, "I have no idea what she's going to say! What am I supposed to say? She always makes me say things first, what if I say the wrong thing and she decides not to tell me the secret? What if what she tells me separates us forever or something stupid like that?"
Rachel gave her a sympathetic look. "Look, Quinn, you'll never know how things are going to go until they actually happen."
You never know until you know.
"So, you need to stop worrying. All it does is stress you out and make you feel worse. You have no control over what Santana says tomorrow. What you need to decide is what you want her to know tomorrow," Rachel told her firmly.
"How do I decide that? I can never think of something to say until she asks me to say it," Quinn grumbled.
"I have an idea," Rachel piped up. Quinn looked at her with interest. "You need to write something down, on a little scrap of paper. That's what you really want to say. Have it in your hand when you see Santana. Get her to say her secret first. If you end up wanting to use the paper, you can give it to her, and if not, you can come up with something else to say."
That made perfect sense to Quinn. If she wrote what she really wanted to say, she could give it to Santana if everything went the way she wanted it to. It would keep her from having to speak her deepest secret out loud to the girl she was so badly crushing on. If Santana didn't say what Quinn wanted, she could just make something up on the spot. "You're a genius, Rach."
Rachel beamed at her. "Well, I knew that, but thanks for the confirmation."
Quinn rolled her eyes playfully. "And I thought that Cheerios were conceited."
Rachel feigned hurt. "Oh, you can't be calling me conceited? I'm the most kind, selfless girl ever!" The brunette giggled, and Quinn smiled.
"Sure, keep telling yourself that," she joked. Then she took a breath. "Thanks, Rachel, you're a good friend."
"Oh," Rachel said with a smile, "It's not a problem."
"I should probably get going now. I'll see you in Glee," Quinn told her as she got up from the couch and grabbed her bag. Rachel gave her a smile.
"Yeah, see you."
That night as Quinn was laying in bed trying to fall asleep, she found herself feeling content. Rachel really was a great person to talk to, she had helpful things to say and she was really kind about everything. She found herself drifting off into a peaceful slumber.
The next day was Friday. Despite the fact that Quinn was absolutely terrified of what Santana would say to her during lunch, she was glad that whatever it was, if she needed to deal with it at least she would have two days away from Santana to deal with it.
Cheerios Practice was boring, because Coach Sue had decided that she needed to rest her voice so that she could yell at them better on Monday, so she made them run laps until they were bleeding or crying. Lucky for Quinn, she was great at fake crying, so she was done quite early.
So, she got to her first period class early and she tore off a corner of a piece of notebook paper. She scribbled on it the one thing she wanted to tell Santana and then folded it once and squeezed it in her already sweaty hand.
She clutched the paper in her hand all the way until Santana walked into the Choir Room during lunch. When she did come in, she immediately walked up to Quinn and sat in the chair directly across from her and asked, "Do you believe in God?"
Quinn, surprised at the question, took a moment to answer. "Yes, I guess."
"But are you like your parents?" Santana sounded nervous, and that made Quinn's hands get even more sweaty and clammy.
"No," Quinn answered immediately.
"Okay," Santana said, sounding a little more relieved. "I'm going first. For the past few years of my life, I've felt like I was messed up inside. Part of me was wrong because I would look at a guy and I would say 'he's hot', but I wouldn't get tingles or excited in anyway. I didn't know what was wrong with me."
Quinn felt her breath catching in her throat. Did Santana like girls? Did Santana like her?
"I started thinking really hard about a year ago, and well... I'll get to the point. Brittany, she helped me realize that I don't like guys, I like girls. Well, she helped me realize that I like one girl."
Brittany. Quinn felt her heart clench and her stomach twist up and tie itself in knots. This was not happening. This couldn't be happening. Before she knew it, she was standing up. She knew that she shouldn't tell Santana her secret now, but she couldn't help but drop the sweaty little note in Santana's lap before quickly rushing out of the room.
"Quinn! Wait, Quinn!" Santana called behind her.
But Quinn already had tears streaming down her cheeks. How could this be happening?
Please don't hate me!:)
I hope you guys liked the chapter, I can't wait to write the next one :D
I don't have much stuff to stay here, because I would like to leave it at that chapter ending, so basically please review-helps a lot-and follow me on Twitter at BrittzandTana and tweet me that you read this for a Shoutout :) See you next time lovelies :)