Chapter 14

Christine's POV

I returned to Erik's lair one last time before leaving Paris. I hoped to make peace with the past if I could. I was shocked to find that I was not alone when I got there. Raoul was there with a group of men, all armed to the teeth. He looked over at me and I could see that his face was still bandaged. For a moment the flash of white reminded me of the Phantom.

"Christine what are you doing here? It is not safe for you to come here. The beast might kidnap you again." He told me with concern.

"I am not afraid of the Phantom any more Raoul, I am more afraid of what you will do to him." I told him. "Why are you here seeking him out? Didn't he warn you to leave him alone?"

"As he left me alone?" he replied bitterly "Shall I show you what he did to my face? He has made me as ugly as he is."

"But he didn't kill you Raoul. It was within his rights to challenge you to another duel for what you did." I argued.

I was perhaps a bit foolish because I was not going to dissuade Raoul from seeking his revenge on Erik. I trembled a little, as I recalled our last meeting. It almost ended in rape. I could see for a moment that he had a flash of anger at my words but then he changed his expression.

He sensed my fear and looked at me a little hurt.

"I begged you to forgive me Lotte; I was under sedation and did not have full control of my faculties. I would never hurt you." He told me. I could see the sincerity in his deep blue eyes but I still had my doubts.

I replied bitterly but strongly "Like you would never hurt him? I'm sorry Raoul. I just wish that you would let matters be as they may. I begged you to forget everything, just as he told us to do. If you had done so the first time we would have all been happier. Now we are all miserable, all three of us."

"I regret nothing Lotte, only that you stubbornly ignore the truth. He did not intend to leave us alone. He was a rabid beast. He would have killed me and devoured you eventually, just as you feared." He tried to reason.

He pleaded with me to understand but we were going to remain at odds on this issue forever. If he had been different, I might have married him and had a happy life as a Vicomtesse without ever looking back to wonder what might have been with Erik. That night Erik proved us wrong, we had believed him to be capable only of murder, deceit and obsession but he let us go. It was Raoul who was the one who was capable of all three. Erik could have killed him when he marred Raoul's face but I understood why he did it. He was not the murderer that we all thought him to be, but he wanted justice to be served. He wanted us to see that he was not a monster simply because he looked like one. My mentor was still my teacher despite the fact that he now hated me. He was teaching me to look underneath for beauty not on the surface. In choosing his punishment, he thought to level the playing field between him and Raoul. I still could not understand why he turned his back on me after making me see the truth. I received his message, but Raoul could not; he was blinded by his hatred, fear and prejudices.

I guess that if I were in Raoul's position I might feel the same. I understood why Erik did what he did, but I could not condone violence committed by either side no matter how justified that it might have been. I wish that I could turn back the hands of time and been more mature in my behavior regarding the two men who both wanted me. I couldn't. It made me feel more alone than ever, even more distraught than when my father died and left me alone. There would be no angel to pick up the pieces or surrogate mother either. I would have to pull myself together and emerge stronger than I had ever been. It was that or give in to my despair and lose myself in the ruins of my old life.

I pleaded with Raoul one last time to let his anger go, but to no avail. I decided to show him around Erik's lair as a hostess would show a visitor; I wanted him to see that the lair was empty. I knew that Erik was gone and so it no longer mattered what I showed him. I even showed him my room with the Swan bed. I remembered for a moment how Erik had proudly showed it to me. I thought that it was the most exquisitely decorated room that I had ever seen. He told me that he had furnished it with me in mind, to give me a place of my own to claim in his underground Kingdom. I never had the chance to use it. It was still beautiful despite the damage that the mob had done to it. I still wondered if, had I not rejected Erik, if I would have stayed here or if Erik would have taken me somewhere else to live where we could live in the light and not his kingdom of darkness. I thought sadly that he and Meg were now together and in love. Did they think of me at all? I bitterly doubted it. If Erik did think of me wouldn't he have given me a chance to explain my side of what happened? He professed his love only to discard it as soon as someone showed him affection. That someone was my perfidious best friend, who no doubt told him every last terrible detail of what she claimed to witness.

As I thought about all of my closest friends I was starting to feel glad that I would be away from them. We had all made one another miserable. Perhaps we all needed to find new people to befriend. In my heart I knew that I voiced that sentiment to myself to keep my sanity. My angel and my foster mom had always protected and guided me. My friend had always shared my joys and my sorrows. Now it appeared that she was sharing my angel with me, and that was someone that I had no desire to share with her.

Erik's POV

The next morning my cousin greeted me as if I were the only other man alive. I again was touched by such a reception since I had never been the beneficiary of such a greeting. It was a warm spring day and he had a servant drop off a bundle in my room. It was boots and work clothing, and thick gloves and a large brimmed hat. I dressed myself in his clothing and met him in the breakfast area where he was enjoying a light repast.

He exclaimed "Erik, I have been waiting for you. I wanted to show you the working farm aspect of your estate, especially the vineyards. They are my pride and joy. My father grew wine on our estate near Konigswinter. His family has been making wine since the middle ages. Your grandfather pproduced wine as well. In the Spring I come out and prune the vines and make sure that they are free from fungus and other rot. There is a terrible rot going through Bordeaux at the moment. Fortunately we make white wine and are not affected here. I also clean and check the barrels that we ferment our wine in and do some bottling. I would love to see you work with me. I would teach you everything that I know. You are quite pale, working outside would do you some good, especially if you remove that mask."

As he was lecturing me, I looked at my cousin in amusement, he was certainly enthusiastic. We were quite different in nature despite our blood tie. If he was a woman I would call him bubbly, like Meg Giry. I laughed to myself knowing that the two of them would meet within the next few days. I was not sure that my ears could take the constant cheerful chatter. I did not mind learning about winemaking. As far as removing my mask was concerned, I was in no hurry to show my cousin my monstrous face.

He sensed my hesitation and told me, "Come inside I want to show you something."

I obliged him. I had nothing better to do. We walked into a large room that was filled with family portraits of the Von Mulheim's. The portraits stretched back as far as the fifteenth century. We walked over to one from the seventeenth century; he had a deformity on his right cheek. It was similar to mine.

"This is our ancestor Freiherr Otto von Mulheim. He was considered one of the greatest Barons in our long family history. He was the last von Mulheim to be touched by Apollo, but by no means the first. He was considered a great statesman, architect and inventor of his time. He enlarged the Schloss with plans of his own design. This painting was commissioned by him and painted by Rembrandt."

I looked at the picture; the man was hideous on the right side. He looked similar to me. I could clearly see the kinship between us. My cousin continued and pointed out a second portrait from the fifteenth century of a fierce warrior dressed in armor.

"This was Freiherr Erik von Mulheim, your namesake. He also possessed a deformity. He was considered one of the greatest soldiers of his age. He was a vassal of the Habsburgs and took part in the Austro-Hungarian war. Later on he sold his services to the Catholic Kings of Spain and took part in one of Christopher Columbus' voyages to the New World. He helped Cortez conquer Mexico. He returned from the New World with gold and treasure that he pilfered from the Aztecs."

I looked at his portrait once again he had a deformity. I definitely was a scion of that line. "I can see the family resemblance." I reluctantly admitted.

"You see my point Erik, you are safe with me. You do not have to hide your face here." He told me.

"What about the servants?" I asked him.

"They were prescreened by me. I knew that you had the deformity and that you were self -conscious about it, since you are the master here. They know that they are here to serve you. You may move about in complete comfort and not worry about any of your servants. Most are descended from families that have lived here for generations and know that occasionally a Mulheim might carry the deformity. Most that have possessed it have turned out to be most capable leaders. It is the reason that we Mulheim's deem the deformity to be a blessing and not a curse."

I was surprised by all that he revealed. He looked at me expectantly as if pleading for me to remove my mask immediately.

I looked at him tentatively "Are you sure? Those are just portraits of long dead ancestors, I am very much alive?"

"I told you already, I have seen many injuries in battle, dead corpses as well. Nothing that you can show me will offend my sensibilities in any way." He replied "Trust me, Erik." He added.

I was not a trusting person so he was asking a lot from me. He met my gaze pleadingly.

"Alright" I told him "But not where the servants can see."

He pointed to a small alcove "In there." He said.

I followed him. Slowly but surely I removed my mask and then my wig. I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable gasp but it was not there. I opened my eyes in disbelief.

"How can you bear to look upon it? I cannot even stand it!" I exclaimed.

"I told you cousin, I have been to war I have seen worse. I think that you would look better if you would spend some time outside. I think that the pale color of your skin and head is almost as bad as the deformity. It makes you appear to be unhealthy and skeletal. I know that you are not."

I looked at him in surprise.

He smiled at me. "I think that we should spend some time outside either hunting or pruning the vines. Take your choice. Some honest labor will do wonders for you. You will feel better spending time outdoors in the light."

"I would feel naked without my mask and wig. I have worn them for so long that it feels strange when I do not wear them." I admitted.

"They must get hot when you go outside wearing them. It could not feel that comfortable." Christian observed.

"I have not spent much time outdoors since returning from Persia years ago. I would stay in my lair until dark. I found that the darkness would hide much of my more hideous qualities from the rest of the world." I told him.

"You do not need the darkness here. This is your home. You must spend some time in the light."

I nodded in agreement. "Alright, you win. I am not that fond of hunting so pruning vines sounds like a better bet."

My cousin smiled "You will need to hunt if you want to get to know the local nobility. They all like to hunt."

"No need, I am not a social creature Christian. I have not found human society to be terribly kind or accepting of me." I told him.

"You will have to make an effort Erik. It is expected of you. You may wear your mask and wig if it makes you feel more acceptable but now that you are here there will be much curiosity about you." He told me.

I groaned as if in pain "I was hoping just the opposite to avoid the limelight. This schloss is so dark and gothic, I thought that it might be a perfect place to stay hidden from the tendrils of French justice."

My cousin rolled his eyes. "You are not a man who can hide. If you do so you would only be depriving the world of your genius. Given the fact that you spent so long underground hiding from the world in Paris, I have no doubt that the French authorities will assume that you are still doing the same. You were right to come here across the border to Germany cousin. We have no love for the French and will take care of our own if you embrace us. Your German is flawless and you are bright enough to affect an accent from our eastern lands near the Russian border. Nobody here will bother to question you, not with my word that I have known you since we were children. In Paris you were a hermit, here you must do the opposite, if you capable." He challenged.

"I am more than capable of comporting myself in society." I admitted tepidly. "I spent much of my youth in the courts of Alexander of Russia and Nasser al-Din of Persia. I hid myself away partially to stay clear of further intrigue. Both courts proved to be somewhat harmful to one's health when you spent too much time there."

Christian laughed "Well the Kaiser is far away in Berlin and does not grace us with his presence very often. Although our Kaiser retains vast powers he does not tend to care what we do as long as we are not treasonous. As long as you retain certain decorum, you should do fine here."

"They will not wonder about the mask on my face?" I asked

My cousin admitted "They might do so and we Germans are very honest and forthright in our opinions but you can always attribute it to 'war injuries' and you will be looked upon with honor, even if no one has ever heard of you. We embrace our war heroes."

"What if they ask where I served? Which division?" I queried.

I will spread a rumor that you were at Gravelotte, in the Prussian 3rd Guards Infantry brigade where you were wounded and then captured by the French. We had many casualties that day. I will say that you do not like to talk about it because it is hard for you to discuss your fallen comrades. It was a very bloody battle where we lost many good men. Your French Chassepot rifles killed many of our men in that battle. They were superior to our Dreyse rifles that day. Our positions almost collapsed but later we turned the tide back in our favor. I was there that day."

"I was in Persia at the time of the war. I returned right after the Prussian occupation." I told him. "It was not our proudest moment in our long history. Your country humiliated us. Your soldiers paraded under the Arc de Triomphe. It was that war which convinced me that France was better off as a republic. The Emperor and his cronies were completely incompetent."

"We are not a republic and yet have some very competent military leaders. The Kaiser employed leaders with remarkable military minds such as Bismarck and Moltke. We are fortunate in that respect. Germany has become a great world power for the first time. I daresay that in a few years time we will match the British with our power." Christian told me proudly.

"As a Frenchman, I hope not." I admitted.

"But my dear cousin, you are no longer a Frenchman. You must embrace your new nationality just as the people of Alsace have done." He told me.

"It is hard for me to do. Despite everything, I am a Frenchman in my soul. Like all beautiful women she will never accept my hideous face or my devotion but, just the same, I cannot renounce my love for her simply because she has renounced me." I told him sadly. Suddenly I visualized Christine's beautiful face. My heart was gripped in a pain. I wondered if I would ever be free of my cursed feelings for her. Christian was perceptive as always and noticed.

"You are thinking of that soprano that you fell for. You must try to forget her. There are others here who might look beyond your face." He told me trying to soothe my still shattered heart.

"I appreciate the sentiment cousin but I am afraid that I will not allow myself to fall in love again. It has proven to be disastrous for me. My love was so distasteful to Christine that she helped her lover stab me in the back. Despite all that had passed between us, she still deemed me to be a monster incapable of human decency, unworthy of life." I told him bitterly. "But enough of my sad history; tell me about your woman, the one who married another?"

Christian sighed "Ingrid was beautiful in the classic way both within and without. I met her as a young man but went to war. In the meantime her family betrothed her to an older man, who was of a very stern disposition. She married him right before I returned from the war. I later found out that her family had forced her to do so to offset her father's gambling debts. I have some money in my own right but not the great fortune that her husband had. I would have let her be but I found out that the scoundrel beat her. She told me to leave it alone but I could not do so. I challenged him to a duel and ran him through with my sword. The man was a coward. Ingrid however, rather than relieved at my interference was appalled by it. She called what I did 'medieval' and refused to see me. I held back for a short time hoping that she would reconsider but she did not. It was then that I decided to come here and stay with your grandfather. She married another man, a handsome Graf and moved to Berlin. I have sought out a few ladies but have not found any that hold a candle to her."

I gave him a commiserating smile and observed "And yet you tell me to try my hand once again when you will not do the same. You at least are a handsome man. I am hideous. I have little to recommend me. You have much to do so. I would hand you this castle and all of my money just to have a face such as yours. The only thing that I have ever searched for was a woman's love and it is the one thing that I will never have."

My cousin laughed "Perhaps now that we have one another to lean upon we can both have better luck. I propose that we help each other find happiness. Our family is depending upon the two of us to continue our line."

I gave him a skeptical glance "Perhaps we are the last of the Mulheims then."

He shook his head and gave me an optimistic glance. "I don't think so." He told me. "I am sure that somehow our line will continue. There is someone out there for each of us; our time just has not yet come."

I wished that I could share his optimism but fate had never been kind to me. Why would it change now?